A/N: No spoilers, alternate timeline. Rated G except for 2-3 uses of foul language.

Dialog switches from Sasuke to Naruto to Sasuke alternating. Naruto is the narrator (we all sound perfect in our heads).

"..." = speechless

Usuratonkachi actually is equivalent to idiot or useless person [yes, I know there's more to it, but that's the short answer.]

What Usuratonkachi Really Means
by vernajast

sasuke x naruto

(in which Naruto is slower than usual)

It was what we always did.

"Tch. Dobe, stop rushing into battle like that."

"What? Sasuke! I HAD THEM! Why'd you have to come take away my enemies like that!"

"Your enemies? I'm the one who sent them running. You mean my enemies."

"Nu-uh, teme! You know they just ran because Kaka-sensei showed up!"

"Hn. Usuratonkachi."

I'm not sure when it started, when it changed.

"Sasuke! Dammit, teme, wake up!"

"Mmm..."

"You're gonna be alright, Sasuke! You will!"

"Who you trying to convince...dobe...me, or yourself?"

Seeing him like that, on the verge of death...it had a strange effect on me.

"So, your unit's heading out on another mission, eh, Sasuke?"

"Tch, what does it look like? Usuratonkachi."

"I was just...makin' small talk, you know?"

"Small talk? Eh, Naruto, you're weird."

"You...you never call me that?"

"What? Weird?Naruto? It's your name, isn't it, baka?"

"Are you OKAY! Maybe you're too ill to go on your mission. I could take your place. That might be fun, actually. And I cou-"

"You talk too much, dobe. Besides, what do you care?"

Indeed, what did I care? I was beginning to wonder, myself.

[ANBU Captain "Fox-san, you and Phoenix-san are on recon. Scope it out and report back at once."

"Hai."

"Hai."

"Hey, wait up, teme."

"This is serious, Fox-san. Shut up."

"I know it's serious. How do you think I GOT into ANBU, anyway?"

"Sometimes I wonder..."

"..."

"Dammit, look, let's just get this done, alright."

But, I never wanted it "done." I never wanted our missions together to end. Somewhere between genin and ANBU...I changed, he changed; but did we change together? I was never quite sure until...

"Hey, dobe, get up here! Usuratonkachi."

"Dammit, Sasuke, don't EVER call me that again! I'm tired of it."

"What? Dobe?"

"Yeah, dobe...and usuratonkachi! You're an asshole, teme. I've put up with insults from you since we were kids! Why? Why do you always treat me like this?
Hell, why do I always put up with this shit from you?"

"You don't know. Hn."

"No, please enlighten me 'cause I don't have the slightest fucking clue!"

"Usuraton-"

"SASUKE! SHUT UP!"

I was angry when I pounced on him, andit was probably more Kyuubi's influence than anything. Or so I thought at the time. But then I had him pinned to the ground. It was easier than it should have been.

"Naruto..."

"Teme, what the hell are you doing? Stop touching my face."

"..."

"Stop it, Sasuke! Why are you-"

"You really don't know..."

"Dammit, why are you-"

"..."

"..."

"Hn."

"You kissed me...Sasuke, you..."

"Way to state the obvious, u-sur-a-ton-ka-chi."

"..."

"Naruto?"

"Do it again."

"Tch, dobe."

There are a lot of things I don't understand about life. I've still got so many questions, like, "When, exactly, did usuratonkachi come to mean I love you?"

"Naruto."

"Sasuke?"

"It always meant that."

"..."

"Come back to bed."