Say It With A Straight Face

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summary: "Okay, Sasuke, here's how you can prove you don't like Sakura. Say 'I don't like Sakura' five times with a straight face!" "I don't -twitch- like Sakura -smirk-" "HA! YOU DO!" "SHUT UP! I JUST... HAD TO SNEEZE!" Sure. Sequel to "Just Press 'Send' "

timeline: The characters are juniors in high school; I've also lumped Neji, Tenten, and Lee in with the juniors, to make it easier. I've made Temari and Kankuro seniors. A/U

Chapter Eight

It was Friday afternoon in the school cafeteria. The first lunch which was right after fourth period, for the juniors, was going on. The din was even louder and crazier than normal with kids letting out that 'End Of The Week' energy and shouting weekend plans to each other. The mood was especially exciting because later that night was going to be the last big football game of the year before the homecoming game, and at least nine-tenths of the school had to be going. Colourful fliers and stray strands from pom poms in school colours littered the floor, turning it into a sort of chaotic rainbow underfoot, just waiting to be slipped on. Hello, lawsuit. The student body themselves were also contributing to the colourful atmosphere, most of them having painted their faces and dyed their hair with the temporary stuff. Yes, today everyone seemed to be doing more talking than eating, thus, general confusion and teachers hiding in the teacher's lounge from teens too hyped up on churros and school spirit.

In the lunch line to the immediate left of all the action, Naruto and Sasuke were elbowing their way through teenagers, trying to get to some trays. Naruto managed to grab one and cheerfully walked through the line, piling his tray with junk food. Sasuke trailed behind him, clutching nothing but a plastic water bottle and scowling darkly at everything from the kids decked out in school spirit shirts and football jersies in honour of the game, to the poor, innocent rows of different flavored yogurt lined up neatly by the cash register.

Naruto rolled his eyes - he didn't even have to look behind him to know that his best friend was sulking.

"Oh, get over it, Sasuke. You're such a baby, man. You don't get picked to march at one stupid half time show and you have to turn into Mr. Anti-Social. Get over it, man," Naruto complained, throwing three packs of Twinkies and a doughnut onto his mountain of junk food, "I don't even get why you like marching band. Don't your feet like, get sore? And it's football where you get the ladies, not 'the woodwind section'."

"Shut up," Sasuke growled, bashing Naruto in the head with the plastic water bottle, "It matters to me. It'll always be the one game I didn't march at. Always there. Mocking me," he shook his head in horror, "Stupid Anko. Just had to go and get more saxophone players," he muttered darkly, turning to glare at the poor, terrified looking student council girl behind the register he was paying at.

Naruto raised an eyebrow as they walked back into the main body of the cafeteria to join Neji and Shikamaru, "Uh, aren't the new saxophone players your fault, teme? I mean, didn't you go complain to that crazy band director lady that totally scares me, so much that she got those senior kids and kicked your fangirls out?"

"..."

"And they're like seniors and from the higher band and awesome, so they totally kicked your ass!"

"..."

"Seriously! It is like sooooooooooooooooo you fault! It couldn't be any less your fault! I mean-

"Naruto..."

"Yeah?"

"Shut the hell up."

"... well, still, football has to get more girls than band."

"In case you haven't noticed, idiot, I HATE MY FANGIRLS. I DON'T WANT MORE." Naruto grinned and muttered something about him already having Sakura anyway, but the Uchiha ignored it. He's been getting cracks like this from the ramen loving idiot since that fateful last weekend... "Besides, band is for smarter, talented, non-idiot guys like me. I mean, how stereotypical is football? You don't even need a brain. Now band takes brains. Which I have."

"... right. -cough- freak -cough- Hey, wait, what does 'steriotypical' mean?"

Luckily, before Sasuke's insanely bad mood caused him to start trying to kill Naruto with his water bottle again, he noticed that they weren't walking towards the guys' usual table. It was a different table. With girls.

Cue dramatic music, please.

Naruto grinned and easily slid into the empty seat beside Hinata, draping an arm around her waist as she turned bright red and nearly choked on her bottle of green tea. Sasuke, however, remained standing in front of the table, staring at it like it was some kind of alien planet.

"Why are we here?" he hissed at Naruto, glaring at the guys all sitting there with girls in between them, like it didn't matter.

"Well, teme, there are now more of us who are couples than singles, and those of us who are happily taken want to sit with our girlfriends, and majority rules, we being majority, so our spot changed," Naruto explained calmly, pulling Hinata closer, oblivious to her still gagging on her tea, and pointing to Tenten giggling and shoving food into Neji's mouth, "Got a problem with that, teme?" Naruto asked innocently, looking up to make eye contact with his friend.

Sasuke's right eye twitched, "I'm sitting somewhere else," he muttered darkly to himself, turning away with his water bottle.

"Well, be prepared to sit with your fangirls, Sasuke, because that's the only other spot available," Naruto smirked triumphantly, knowing just who won that row. He jerked a thumb towards a table about fifteen metres away, where half a dozen giggling girls had set up a seat and were staring right back at him, rather suggestively. Shudder. The rest of the cafeteria was packed. Plenty of kids were sharing seats, and there were even guys who had to stand in the aisles, blocking traffic and just making everything more chaotic.

"Attaboy, Sasuke! Don't be anti-social!" Naruto chirped cheerfully, slapping him on the back and laughing as the Uchiha dragged himself back, muttering darkly to himself. Naruto politely patted the seat next to him, the only empty seat, which also 'happened' to be next to Sakura. Sasuke glared as scarily as he possible could at the innocent look pasted on Naruto's face; he is so obviously being set up.

Sakura flinched as she felt him sit beside her, but otherwise gave no sign that she'd noticed him at all, and he did the same, manoeuvring in his seat so that their backs were to each other. Naruto grinned, absolutely cracking up inside as he watched his friends be so awkward with each other.

That lunch period Sasuke and Sakura were unusually quiet, despite the constant, even louder than usual chatter of the two meddling blonds on either side of them. It was also the shortest lunch they'd ever had. Sakura wolfed down her sandwich and Sasuke chugged his water bottle. They both jumped up and hurriedly excused themselves, before running to their next class, which they had separate. All this before Naruto even had enough time to finish a second Twinkie. Everyone stared after the frantically running teens, their eyes wide with surprise.

Ino watched them leave over her shoulder, until she was sure they were out the cafeteria doors,"Alright, time to get down to business, now that they're gone," she stood up, slapping her hands on the table and flipping her long, blonde braid back over her shoulder dramatically.

"Do we have to help?" Shikamaru groaned.

"All you have to do is not tell Sasuke. Or Sakura!" Ino snapped, leaning over the table, knocking over Hinata's bottle of green tea, and got right in his face, pointing a sharp, manicured nail between his eyes threateningly.

"So I keep my mouth shut and allow you to embarrass my friends and or make them do something against their will that will most likely humiliate or really piss them off?"

"Uh, yeah. Jeez, you make it sound so immoral."

"Whatever. Like I care. I'm in."

"Back to business then," Tenten said, rolling her eyes as Shikamaru laid his head on the table for a nap and Ino started shaking him by the front of his shirt, "So tonight?"

"Tonight."

"Neji, can you make the reservations, and Hinata, we need to borrow your car."

"O-okay."

"Sure."

"I changed my mind. Shika, take off right after school and buy some flowers."

"z-z-z-z-z-z"

"SHIKA?!"

"I heard you, damnit!"

"Excellent. Me and Ino will take care of the rest," Naruto grinned, "By the end of tonight, those two will be together!"

Ino walked into English class, about a second after the bell had rung, since all their evil planning had held them up. She quickly picked out where Sakura was sitting - right in the middle of the front row; her favourite spot that she managed to snag since she'd been so early to English. Ino looked to the right of her friend, where a scrawny guy with slicked back hair and glasses was punching digits into an electric PDA. She snorted to herself, then flipped her braid back over her shoulder and walked toward the guy's desk, her three inch, purple stilettos clicking on the tile floor.

"Hey," she smiled brilliantly, resting one arm on the desk and playing with her braid again, "Would it be okay if I sat here?" The guy gulped.

"U-uh, s-sure!"

"Thanks," Ino smiled sweetly again, and once the guy was stumbling away and nearly dropping his things, she rolled her eyes and took her seat next to Sakura. Said pink-haired girl had her nose buried in a familiar, shiny blue book - Christine, another Stephen King book. Ino made a mental note to disconnect her phone tonight. It was obvious to her that Sakura was also reading so that Ino wouldn't get a chance to talk to her, like she always did. The blonde haired girl didn't even talk to the girl next to her, just took the end of her ponytail and messed around with her split ends. She smirked to herself as she caught Sakura keep shooting looks at her from the corner of her eye, obviously trying to figure out why her meddling best friend wasn't interrogating her like the FBI yet, like she usually did.

"Books away, class!" Asuma sang out, shooting a look at Sakura, as he walked through the door with a fresh stack of Zerox-ed papers that still smelled like warm ink balanced in his arms.

The class turned their direct attention to him right away for once, curious about the packets of paper he was dumping on the overhead projector, raising a bit of dust as he set the heavy packets down.

"These first few weeks of school, we've been refining the grammar skills you all have been learning your entire lives," Asuma began, fingering a box of Tic Tacs in his pants pocket, " the rest of this semester, will be grammar free," a very loud cheer from the students, whose lives had been plagued by that hell-spawn subject for long enough, "But it will also be nothing but grammar!" here he was met with blank stares. Asuma grinned to himself through a mouthful of mints, swallowed, "The rest of the semester, all twelve weeks left, and maybe even a majority of the second semester, if we all enjoy this project enough and I get enough good results before winter break, will be spent on a huge creative writing project. It will be worth four-fifths of your grade, so I expect a lot of effort, especially because this is my AP class" the dark-haired man paused, taking in the dead silence and intense atmosphere

"You all are going to be writing a novel. Anything goes, as long as it has appropriate themes, nothing above PG-13, please. Otherwise, I won't stifle your creativity with any other rules. It's open ended. NO plagiarism; you all are better than that. And trust me, I will know if you copy from other sources. Otherwise, write whatever you want. Make it rhyme for all I care! It can be a love story, sci fi, fairy tale, historical fiction, drama, horror, mystery," he ticked off on his fingers, "Well, the details are in these packets" the class blanched as he patted the huge stack of papers and began separating the stapled packets to hand out, "Just read em, sign em, and we can get started! We'll be working on this in class instead of grammar or other things you've done in your past literature classes. I'll allow you to bring laptops in."

He began passing out the papers and the class began eagerly chattering to one another.

Sakura whipped around to face Ino, her face lit up in excitement and forgetting that she was supposed to be wary of this conversation.

"Oh, wow! Ino! How awesome is this! Oh, gosh, this project was like made for me!" she started gushing, letting her Christine book fall off of her lap and fall on top of her backpack, making the spine crack, but she didn't notice, "What are you going to write about? I'm writing a love story for sure!"

"I know, this is amazing! I was thinking I could do something sci-fi!"

"Oh, that would be awesome! And there would be a romance angle of course?"

"Psh, given! Like alien falls in love with ruggedly handsome earth hunter, or vampire goes for loving the girl instead of eating her."

"Well the alien thing is so old, like 1985, and the vampire-human thing has so been exhausted since Twilight, but the vampire one is totally cute - you could so be forgiven for being cliche on that."

"Agreed. So tell me about your romance. Setting in a cute, northern coast town, or like Laura Ingalls plain?

"Coast town. Pioneering is gross."

"And is it going to be like a Fanfiction thing, but you just change the names and stuff?"

"Chyeah."

"And what's going on with you and Sasuke?"

"I'm afraid he doesn't- oop!" Sakura clamped her hand over her mouth and glared at Ino, who was leaning close over her desk in anticipation.

"Afraid of what? Afraid of what, Sakura?!" Ino moaned, leaning in closer.

"Y-you bitch! You tricked me!" Sakura babbled, her face going red and flustered.

"Well, yeah, honey, I knew you had something you really had to tell me, but you and that pride of yours would never let you just openly tell me. At least you're easily tripped up when it comes to love stuff like this!" Ino said cheerfully, ignoring the growing aura of dangerousness around her pink-haired friend.

"But really, Sakura, tell me. I know it's bothering you, and I don't like seeing my best friend so sad and messed up," Ino said softly.

The hot air inflating Sakura's temper immediately deflated and the other girl's sincerity, and suddenly she looked very tired," Fine," she exhaled, resting her forehead on her hands and rubbing her temples, "Well, you know that Saturday when we finally kissed, right? Man, had I been wanting to do that forever, Ino. That was a dream come true. I really love him," she said quietly, holding back a groan of frustration at how mushy and weak she sounded right then, "Only now I'm not sure. It felt so special and amazing, like sparks and everything - like love. But I'm... just not sure now. I don't think he feels the same way. I feel really desperate and stupid, like I'm the only one who wants it, like some stupid, crushing fangirl. And, like, I ruined our friendship, because he's been avoiding me, and I've been avoiding him because I feel so desperate and embarrassed and I just wish the whole thing had never happened," by now she was almost in tears, her bangs purposefully hiding her eyes from Ino as she kept her hand on her forehead, "And we still haven't finished that damned physics project yet," her voice broke.

"Aw, honey," Ino protested, scooting her chair over and enveloping Sakura in her thin arms, rocking her back and forth a little, "You're just such a silly girl. Brilliant as hell, and you can write better love stories than anyone I know, but in the end, you still have no clue about your own love life," she pulled away a little to stare straight back at watery, green eyes, "Now I wasn't there, and I'm not you, and I'm not Sasuke, I'm not an expert and I don't pretend to be," she smirked, "Okay, maybe I do pretend to be an expert," she got a teary, little laugh from the other girl, "But Sakura," she said urgently, shaking her shoulder a little for emphasis, "I see the way he looks at you. I see the way he acts when you're not around, and the change that happens when he sees you. Trust me, he feels for you too. That guy hardly feels at all for anything, but for you, he does. And stupid! He's not the one avoiding you; you just said you're avoiding him! Honestly, it sounds like you're the one sending mixed signals. I'll bet he's the one who's depressed, because he thinks you don't love him back," Ino said confidently.

Sakura finally shook back her hair, the moisture in her eyes nearly brimming over, "Yeah, right."

"Okay, you have three minutes to tell me what's going through that bastard, pretty boy head of yours that's got you so depressed," Naruto growled firmly as he and Sasuke walked down the fine arts hallway together. If the Uchiha though that his obnoxious best friend would be oblivious to his especial moodiness, then he was quite wrong.

"None of your effing business," he said smoothly, with the perfect blend of annoyance, eff-off, and indifference as usual, but Naruto had known him long enough, his ears were good enough to hear the sad note in his voice, how his voice broke a little on the last word. He quickly turned away, hand reached out to turn the doorknob to the band hall, but Naruto shot out and grabbed his wrist, stopping him, and maneuvred his body in front of the door, blocking Sasuke's way.

"The bell rings in two minutes. Tell me, or I'll stay here and make you late for class, and ruin your lifetime perfect attendance record," Naruto said, a serious, business-like glint in his cerulean eyes.

Sasuke glared coldly down at the boy in front of him with all the hate he could muster, but Naruto always did refused to be fazed by his stares.

"Nothing!" he growled defiantly, attempting to throw him out of the way.

Naruto was just as strong, held his ground, "You have one minute forty seconds now."

"Sakura then. There, told you," he grit through his teeth.

"Contrary to your belief, I'm not an idiot. I already know that."

"We haven't finished that physics project yet, and she hasn't offered to work together again, so I'm worried about my grade."

"Liar."

"Naruto-

"Sasuke, I know it's personal. I'm your best friend; I may as well have the power to read your mind."

"Go ahead, read my mind then," the Uchiha said defiantly, trying another glare.

"Alright. You made a move. You're in love with her and you know it. You're an unsure, shy, self-conscious bastard who's never liked a girl before, and you'd rather die before you'd admit it, but you're scared stiff. You don't know if you made the right move. You think she doesn't feel the same way, but instead of being a man, gathering up some balls, and talking to her about it, seeing how she really does feel, you're avoiding her, avoiding the problem, like a coward. And that's not fair to either of you. You're making yourself miserable, and your little emo heart is fragile enough."

"... I resent the emo heart comment," he said finally, expression still stormy.

"Fine, but the rest is right, no?" Naruto pressed.

"You said you can read my mind didn't you?"

Naruto nodded solemnly

Sasuke's expression finally cleared, his dark eyebrows pulling together, "Yeah, I'm scared. She doesn't like me, and it makes me feel really miserable. I screwed up," he said darkly, his face looking bitter again.

"Just talk to her, man. Don't assume stuff like this. Sit her down and talk about your feelings. Don't be such a coward; honestly, I'm surprised at you. With good things, you have to take a risk."

"I hate to say it, but that's good advice."

"I know! Hinata invited me over to her house, and I had to use the bathroom. All she had to read in there was Cosmo and Elle, and I get bored in there. They always have awesome relationship stuff in there."

"... I'm actually feeling a bit of a sense of friendship with you right now. Don't ruin it."

Sakura slumped in her seat in last period art class, fingering her stick of charcoal moodily, not feeling any less depressed from her recent conversation with Ino. She didn't even pay attention to the fact that the door had quietly opened and the usually raucous class had gone silent, or that they were to be getting a new teacher today.

"Hello, class. I'm your new instructor," a raspy, male voice was saying, "My name-

Sakura shuddered, 'I have this uneasy feeling that people are going to be butting into my life very soon.'

After school, Naruto and Ino were putting their 'extremely complex' plan into action.

Ino sprinted out of theatre with Naruto right at her heels, as they ran farther down the fine arts hallway. Ino practically kicked down the door of the art classroom, nearly smacking into half the class trying to stampede out and have a crazy Friday night and hungover weekend.

Inside, Sakura was morosely putting sticks of charcoal back into an art locker.

"Sakura," the raspy voice said again, coming up right behind her, making her flinch. She was really going to have to hurry up and get used to that new teacher, because man, was his creepiness distracting, "I wanted to-

"Sakura!" Ino hollered, interrupting, as she finally managed to burst through the door after having to step on several people with her stilletos. She grabbed the gloomy girl's arm and dragged her away, leaving the art teacher with whatever he had been about to say unfinished.

"C'mon, you're coming to my house, I'm making you over, hair, make-up, wardrobe, the works, and then us two hott mamasitas will go out to a club and, well, just screw all those losers going to some lame football game," Ino grinned cheekily, pulling her along as they ran down the hallways.

"Whatever, I could use the estrogen rush I guess," Sakura said listlessly, trying to keep pace of Ino's sprinting.

"That's exactly why we're doing it, hon. You need a perk."

Meanwhile, Naruto kidnapped Sasuke from the band hall before he even had a chance to put away his saxophone; Naruto had both their backpacks slung over his back and Sasuke carried the gold coloured instrument in one hand and his case in the other, his neck strap still around his neck.

"Teme! Hinata just texted me that her cousin's getting married and I have to come and watch her be a bridesmaid, and you have to come so you can sit with me and keep me awake through the service. Her family would kill me if I fell asleep though some sacred Hyuga union like that," he snorted, "Well, you know how Neji is. Picture his family as him like ten-fold," he shuddered, "It's already a shock that I'm even allowed to be Hinata's boyfriend now; I cannot screw this up. So we're going to your house, you're going to put on dressy clothes and put crap in your hair, and we'll go get down our Friday night at the wedding reception. If we're lucky, there'll be alcohol, and who would card a wedding?"

"... and why would I do this with you?" Sasuke grumbled, running to keep up with an exuberant Naruto who was running to his car, because hey, the kid had his backpack, and his pre-cal homework was in there.

"Oh, right. You have to march at a football game I guess, cuz, it's Friday and all," Naruto said innocently, holding open the front doors of the school for his friend,

"... that was a low blow and you know it, you bastard."

"It's not beneath me."

"Fine. I'll humour you. Idiot.

Later than night, Sakura was in the passenger seat of Ino's beat-up, old convertible, looking even more depressing from the black spaghetti-strap dress and heels Ino had forced her into, and the black eyeliner around her emerald eyes. Ino glanced at her over the steering wheel and scoffed to herself in her sparkling blue halter at how emo her friend was being. Honestly, she looked gorgeous in black as long as she wasn't moping.

"Here we are," Ino announced, keeping up with her cheerfulness, despite how ticked off she was getting. She'd pulled the car up to a fancy French restaurant, whose name Sakura could only guess at the pronunciation of.

"Um, why are we here?" Sakura asked uncertainly, eyeing the trim, green and white awning and quaint orange brickwork. She self-consciously smoothed the shortish hemline of her dress back over her knees.

"Just getting some dinner before the club. That okay?"

"Uh, sure?"

"Why are we here?" Sasuke complained, eyeing the building in front of the two in distaste.

"I almost forgot. Hinata told me to pick up the food they ordered from this place for the wedding. Just go up to the hostess and say 'Hyuga'," Naruto replied, tapping his hands on the steering wheel of his truck in time to the song blaring out of the radio, adjusting the sleeves of his tux in between songs.

"Why can't you go in and get it then?" Sasuke glared.

"I'm sort of... um... banned from entering that restaurant," Naruto grimaced, "Long story... don't ask. Anyway, security, the manager, and the hostess all have my picture in their books, and I don't wanna be arrested."

"Whatever, just this once. Because if you're arrested, I'm left out here without a car."

"Gee, that's the spirit. Oh, fix your tie before you go in! And take a look at your hair!"

In the entry hall of the restaurant, Ino suddenly grimaced and ran right back outside.

"Left my purse in the car! I'll be right back!" she called to Sakura over her shoulder, "Ask for the reservation under 'Hyuga'. Hinata set it up for us. Just go on without me!" and with that, she jogged off into the dim light outside.

Shrugging to herself, Sakura asked and the hostess led her to a two-person table in a dim corner of the restaurant, lit with candles and that smelled like really good, buttery bread and grapes. She pulled out a chair and waited for Ino.

Inside, Sasuke had asked for the Hyuga order, and the hostess had brought him to a small table in the back, where, he assumed he was to wait for a minute while they got the order ready for him. The dark-haired teenager absent-mindedly drummed his fingers against the table. He accidentally knocked over something silver on the table and made a napkin fall to the floor. As he was under the table retrieving the cloth, he was aware of the chair opposite of him being pulled away, and someone sitting down. Startled, he straightened up quickly, wound up bumping his head on the table, cursed harshly under his breath, and sat back up in his chair, only to be met with startled eyes staring back at him.

"Sasuke?!"

"S-Sakura?"

-ring-

Both of their cell phones ringing simultaneously broke the tension of the awkward meeting for just a second. They each retrieved their phones from either pocket or purse, and flipped them open to read an identical message.

'We both took the cars, so there's no getting out of this. We'll pick you two up at eleven. And enjoy your DATE together. Patch things up, okay?' -love Ino and Naruto :)

I made the deadline, but just barely! I'm proud! Sorry, there are probably tons of mistakes, but I've BEEN out of time for this - I'll edit tomorrow.

Arg, Jessie wouldn't stop singing '1985' in the car on the way to band practice today, and Daniel started singing harmony. We're band kids, so if you've ever heard us sing, it's amazing you're still alive to read this. Anyway, I got the song in my head really badly and I just had to YouTube it to listen to it while I typed this, so for getting it in my head, JESSIE, YOU SUCK! Well, you helped inspire me, but you still suck, hon.

She's still preoccupied, with 19, 19, 1985!

Next chapter the long-awaited date shall go down! What will transpire in that little French restaurant? What means of torture will they use to kill Ino and Naruto once it's over?! Stay tuned.

Anyway, I'm back! I missed you all; hope you enjoyed! Go ahead and give me some feedback. Much love.