"You're wearing a hole in the rug, Gwendal…"

I could only grunt. I knew I was far gone when Anissina couldn't even rattle me. Well, without effort. I had yet to descend into a state of flustered depression so deep she couldn't deepen it. Still, this was closer than most. Mother had been chosen as Maou? My Mother? I loved her dearly, of course, and she was perfectly competent when she chose to bother, but I was also fond of Shin Makoku!

Anissina poked me in the spine with a knitting needle as I passed. "Shouldn't you be packing? You're leaving tomorrow, and you probably want some sleep first."

"Maybe." Interesting prospect, that… I was used to moving between this house and the one I still thought of as Father's, for all he'd been dead over twenty years. Then, though, I just maintained enough in both locations to get by. I only needed to carry a few changes of clothes for the trip and enough yarn to keep occupied.

"I'm packed already. Mr. Efficiency made it very easy. You can borrow him if you like!"

"I don't want my clothes imploding thanks. …What?" Why was Anissina packing? I felt my jaw drop. I didn't like this development at all…

"I'm one of the Ten Aristocrats, dummy. I have to be there for the coronation as much as you do! Besides, Lady Celi's kindly asked if I'd like a place as her advisor. Arnolf will do just fine governing things back here. I've taught him well." She'd taught him to cower. I felt sorry for her poor brother, but at least he'd be seeing the end of her for a while. We should all be so lucky.

"What do we have to do at the ceremony?" I hated things like that. And it'd be the first time I'd really have to show up for something like that. I might have the title, but the previous Maou had pretty much ignored me. He and Father had been pretty icy toward each other. I considered it a blessing. What would I do with political power anyway? I had plenty to do evading the lunatic Lady Von Karbelnikoff, looking to the governance of Voltaire lands, and making sure my brothers were looked after.

"Not much. You'd know if you ever came out of your box." Anissina had been in and out of the capitol five times, and she'd only taken over the family title a year and a half ago. I detested that woman sometimes. "I'm going home to make sure everything's ready."

"Good. Go away." I usually tried to be a little more diplomatic, but I needed someone to be angry at, and Anissina was the only one I felt no remorse about.

Because she had no emotions, only evil. She smiled and walked to the door, pausing as she stepped into the hall. "Hmm, you know who else will be there?" I didn't deign to answer, staring at my wardrobe and wondering how much I should take. "…Gunter."

I heard her laugh long after the door was closed. I'm not sure how long. There was definitely a stretch of time that lasted approximately an eon during which I was frozen with my hand on the wardrobe's latch, and that insidious giggle worked its way through all of it.

Gunter. My Gunter. No, I shouldn't even dare to think that. I hadn't seen him decades. Only once besides our first meeting, actually. He'd been hurt in a battle and ours was the nearest house where he had friends. Before then I'd hoped that what I felt was a childish crush, just a fleeting little fancy I'd built into an ideal no real person could reach.

No such luck. He was still everything I dreamed of. I'd adored him just as much then, hovering near his room, allowing Anissina to use me as a battery for one of her few functional inventions, Mr. Amplification of Healing Energies. He was beautiful and gentle and brave and sweet. He was as silly as I was serious, able to look at things lightheartedly that no one else could, but intense and sober when need be. He cooked better than our entire kitchen staff and was one of the best swordsmen in the nation. There was no other smile that cute. Flawless amethyst. Rosy dawn. White tiger. I wanted him with everything I had.

I pulled a handkerchief from my breast pocket. Over the past twenty years it had gotten rather threadbare and a little gray, but it was still my memento of my love. I pressed it to my cheek and closed my eyes a moment. Was it too much to hope, this time? I'd finally hit my growth spurt the last few years. I was taller than mother now, and more used to it, not so prone to tripping over my own feet. My voice never squeaked. I'd had my own command, albeit briefly. I'd gotten the position toward the end of the war. But I'd won all three of my battles. I had a medal that I had to resist the urge to wear everywhere.

Hah. So I was slightly less pathetic? Excellent. I opened the door and started packing.

It turned out to take most of the night. I got only a few hours of sleep before Wolfram was sitting on my chest and poking me. "It's time to go, Gwendal! Come on! We're going to the castle!" This seemed to strike him poetically, and he promptly jumped off me to run around the floor singing "Going to the castle! Going to the castle!"

Ah. Someone had given him sugar, had they? "Why don't you go play with…someone while I get dressed?"

"You are dressed. Did you go to sleep in your clothes?"

Oops. "Must have. What'd you have for breakfast?"

"Waffles. Raven let me put syrup and powdered sugar on them and eat in the kitchen because everyone was so busy. They were blueberry waffles!"

"As I suspected." I finally gave up and rolled out of bed. "When are we leaving?"

"In soon. I asked. Conrart said to wake you up." I was glad to see Wolfram and Conrart were getting along. Wolf had been acting rather unpleasantly toward our brother the last few months, since he'd been told Conrart was half human. I blamed his father. Mother's husband was a revolting man. With luck this goodwill would last. I could tell Conrart stung from Wolfram's comments and coldness, childish and ignorant as they were.

As my clothes were already rumpled from being slept in, I didn't put any great care into folding them up for packing. I dressed simply for the trip. The roads would probably be dusty, and my good clothes should be saved for all the public appearances the Maou's oldest son would undoubtedly have to make. Oh, hell.

We had a whole cart devoted to luggage. I'd thought my three bags were fairly outrageous, but Conrart and Wolfram both had the same. Raven had one, but he was coming back to run the estate after the coronation. Stoffel was also being modest, with two. Mother filled the rest of the cart herself easily. She was looking nervous and giddy and kept hugging everyone. Anissina turned up, apparently planning to ride with us. It was going to be a long, crowded, torturous trip.

One that I made almost entirely with Wolfram on my lap. Ultimately, though it was hot and he squirmed a lot, I didn't mind. It kept Anissina away.

I arrived in the great, shining capital city dusty, sweaty, irritated, and not in the mood for celebrations. It was the end of a hot, dry summer and the whole world felt pretty revolting as I stumbled out of the carriage, not even noting the graceful columns or lovely gardens surrounding us. They'd still be there when I wasn't miserable and disgusting. Ugh, even my hair seemed to be sweating. It had come untied and I didn't have the energy to do anything about it.

I walked around automatically to help unload the luggage, but there were already six servants doing it. Six! I'd always thought Mother's house the lap of luxury, sumptuous and rich as it was, surrounded by verdant fields. This place, though… I wasn't sure I approved.

Conrart had already found a guard captain to stare at. Wolfram was clinging to what he'd declared to be a beautiful ermine. It was one of several dozen attempts I'd made at making a white tiger. I'd given it to him after one of his half brothers on the Bielefeld side had set fire to his favorite toy fox. He looked a little lost, so I walked over to pick him up. He was a tiny kid, much smaller than Conrart had been at that age. He didn't weigh a thing. I sat him up on my shoulders. "Like it so far?" I tried to sound enthusiastic.

"It's really big and busy. Where do all these people come from?" Wolfram was a country boy. He kicked his feet idly. Enough to hurt a bit as his heels buried themselves in my abdomen, but I could deal with that. "Where do you think we're going to get to live?"

"They probably have rooms ready for us." I should hope so, anyway. I looked around. It must have been the coronation, but there were more people in this courtyard than I'd seen in one place outside the war. More than even the most ostentatious of Mother's parties. I'd been here before, but never for something so huge. It was alarming. I wondered if it might be permissible for the maou's firstborn to retreat to a room and stay there.

We were given a wide berth, though. People were probably still reeling from the shock of who was to rule the nation, and the retinue we made up was mostly unacquainted with any courtiers, some country nobles, a couple of kids, one of whom was half human, our silent retainer…

So I was surprised when something fast and colorful ran past me about waist height. I looked down to see a cute little girl in a white dress with lovely, green hair speed past me, encounter a crack in the ground, and fall to skin her knee.

She reminded me of someone. Maybe I knew her family. She looked a bit older than Wolfram. I set my brother down for a moment (he whined) and bent double, holding out a hand. "Are you alright?"

"I'm okay." She got up and defiantly shook out her curls. "It was only a little fall. And I can fix it. See?" She put her hand over the scrape. It glowed a comfortable, homey green and there was barely a scab to suggest the injury a moment later.

I was impressed. The only other kid that age with such control over their maryoku I knew was Wolfram, and all he could do was set fire to things that annoyed him. This was far more practical. "That's very good."

"Papa says I'm a rare talent." She giggled. "Who are you?"

I considered. I'd never had to actually introduce myself. Mother or a superior officer or even Stoffel would do it for me. "Gwendal Von Voltaire." There. The title was there, but if she didn't care she didn't have to. Children that age didn't.

"And I'm Wolfram Von Bielefeld." Wolfram liked being on display. I generally left it to him. "Who're you?"

She curtsied prettily. "I'm Giesela Von Christ!"

…No. No! He had a daughter. A daughter older than my brother! There was someone else. In the years since—no, for all I knew he'd been married when I first met him. He'd been old enough. No one had said otherwise. He had a wife. Or a husband. A husband would be worse. I couldn't stand it if he had a husband. No wonder she was such a beautiful, talented child. No wonder I was drawn to her cute clumsiness.

She was talking to Wolfram about his toy ermine. No one would notice me falling apart, then. They'd notice me abandoning two children, though. I couldn't run the way I wanted to. And where would I run? Even if I'd known my way around, this wasn't a place for comfort and cool, dark places to hide from the world.

I almost hoped there had been someone from the first. Or at least that, when he found them, there might have been an echo of a memory of an awkward boy who'd adored the ground he walked on. My hand went for the pocket where I always kept the handkerchief. What was the use?

"Giesela! Don't you run away like that in this crowd!"

Revelations aside, that voice made me weak at the knees. In my dreams it came right before the cool lips that pressed to mine, when my arms twined around his slim body and I told him he didn't have to fight anymore, because I'd protect him, protect that beauty and innocence.

That was why they called the damn things dreams, of course.

He'd grown since I'd last seen him. Not taller. To my immense shock, I was the taller one. But his shoulders had filled out, his face become more defined. It made him even more handsome, but his boyish looks from before had given me hope that the gulf between us wasn't too great. His admiral's uniform was gone. It had been very handsome, but the peacetime robes of a nobleman suited him better.

"Sorry, Daddy, but it's really exciting. And look, I made friends!"

"Giesela…" He walked over and scooped her up, nodding at Wolfram. He hadn't met Wolfram. He'd been born since Gunter's last visit.

"Gwendal! My, you're tall. I didn't recognize you!" He smiled at me. My heart had just frozen over forever, so why was it still beating so hard? "Then this is your youngest brother?"

"I'm Wolfram Von Bielefeld!" He was looking happy. Getting to introduce himself twice in about as many minutes.

"Gunter!" Mother swooped past me. I felt and smelled a perfumed wind as she rushed by. "There you are. You've been shamefully neglectful of your friends. You had better have accepted my invitation."

"It's a great honor, Your Majesty," he said with a bow. "Why you'd want a southern lordling with no real governing experience as an advisor I don't see, but I live to serve."

"That's the funny thing about you, Gungun. You really do!" She giggled and hugged him.

Oh, no, he'd be at the castle all the time. Before little Miss Giesela had entered the scene I'd have thought I'd stumbled into some excellent karma, but now it seemed more that I was being punished for my presumptions on an angel. I hoped whoever had him was good enough. I hated them with every fiber of my being that wasn't occupied with desperate love, but I hoped he was happy.

"This is your little one, then?" Mother grinned and bent down to shake Giesela's hand. "How'd you come by her again?"

"Her mother was a cousin of mine. She died in childbirth. Her father tried, but he's not a nurturing man, and finally asked if I knew any proper foster family for her. I fell in love with those eyes, though." Gunter smiled the warmest I'd ever seen from him. It was beautiful. I was tempted to swoon.

"You've got no help bringing her up, though. Isn't it hard on you?"

"We get along very well. I think Giesela looks after me as much as I do her." She nodded happily.

"If I don't make him eat breakfast he forgets all the time, and I make it better when he falls down stairs."

That had taken a moment to penetrate. I was still reeling a bit from the first blow. This was a blow from the opposite direction, but righting myself didn't quite seem in my grasp. Wolfram, fortunately, was there to fill in for me. I relied entirely too much on my little brothers in some circumstances.

"So do you not have a Mother?" He tilted his head charmingly toward Giesela.

"Not anymore. But Daddy takes good care of me."

"My brothers don't have fathers anymore, and they don't want to borrow mine. And Conrart isn't allowed to." He debated for a moment, looking very solemn. "Maybe you can borrow mine and they can share with you?"

Gunter laughed, glancing at me. A glance I drowned in a little. "Conrart, perhaps, but I think Gwendal's a little old to be my son."

Yes. Yes I was. He wasn't married! My beautiful, wonderful Gunter was still available. …Though I reminded myself harshly I didn't know that. He might have a fiancée or a mistress. And with a castle full of courtiers to pick from, why would he so much as look at me? Especially with a child to look after. He'd certainly want someone who could help him with Giesela's education and upbringing if he were to invest himself in a romance. He was too responsible and kind to do otherwise.

"Gwen, come along. We're going up to our rooms now." Mother patted my shoulder. "Gunter, come with us. We've got so much catching up to do."

We followed a maid up the stairs. It was much less crowded inside, and cooler. I felt much better, though with the burden of excessive heat lifted, I realized how dreadful I must look, travel-stained and rumpled. And of course Gunter didn't have a hair out of place. Lucky southerner, inured to this ghastly weather.

As soon as we were clear of the milling, busy courtiers, Gunter looked grave. "I'm glad I caught you, Celi. I'm sure you realize the atmosphere's a little bit grim around here."

"Hmm?" You couldn't tell without knowing her if she realized or not. Sometimes with knowing her. I didn't have so much as a guess.

"Even though there's technically no succession, only Shinou's will, the last few Maous have all come from the same family." Well, everyone knew that, but Gunter must have read mother as more clueless than usual. "This was totally unexpected, and while no one will contest the will of Shinou openly, well, there's discontent."

"Not unanticipated," Stoffel said. "We have half the great aristocrats on our side. Bielefeld, Karbelnikoff, Spitzberg, of course, Voltaire, and Christ. Minor nobility should fall about the same. Evenly matched and with Shinou backing us, it's not worth worrying about."

"As you say. Still, support from those who contest Lady Celi's right to the throne will be hard to earn." Gunter didn't seem to like my uncle. To be fair, I didn't like him so much myself, lately. He had a slight tendency to try and do my job for me. I'd ask his advice if I needed it, of course, but I really didn't, and I'd have preferred to be left to the governing of my province alone.

"We don't need to earn what's ours by right."

"In theory that's correct, Lord Spitzberg, but…" He sighed. "The rooms are lovely in this part of the castle." The maid timidly pointed out which of us slept where. Wolfram had his own room. I anticipated finding him in my bed several times a week. He was prone to nightmares and didn't like being lonely. Had I been consulted, I'd have suggested he share with Conrart or me or even the despicable twins from the start. But why would anyone consult me?

I ducked into my room gratefully, wanting a little time to myself. The crowd, the attention, the pressure… I was good at decisions and leading. I knew that. But no one would tell me what I needed to know. No one would let me have the power I'd need to be effective. None of us knew what we were getting into. Stoffel was after power and too meglomaniacal to know how to get it. Mother's despicable husband would want power as well, and preferably access to the treasury. As for Mother, I'd rather not think about it. Anissina discounted politics as an unfortunate consequence of male greed and foolishness devoutly to be ignored.

We were all doomed. I slammed the door behind me, but instead of a satisfying crash there was a dull thud. I spun around and realized I'd just managed to smash Gunter in the nose. "I'm sorry." Oh, hell…

"Daddy, you should have told him you were coming in. Silly."

"Mmph. Right." He already had a handkerchief out. I hoped, for a brief moment, an idiotic moment, to see a battered, grayed mass of multicolored yarn, but he instead pulled out a piece of dark red linen. Wouldn't stain. Clever. "It's fine. You know it does this all the time." He looked up and smiled, apparently as unperturbed as he claimed. I hoped so. "Your Uncle's… an implacable man."

"I've noticed. There's some real danger, isn't there?"

"More than some. May we sit down?"

"Of course!" I went to pull out chairs, but as this was the first time I'd set foot in this room, it took me more than a moment to find them and I tripped twice. I dissolved into hopeless clumsiness whenever he was around. And he seldom noticed. My wish was to understand it as Gunter kindly ignoring my blundering, but logic told me he didn't notice or care.

"There's a lot of unrest." He settled gracefully into the chair I'd dragged over and Giesela climbed into his lap. They made a perfect picture. A pair of jewels, opal and emerald. "There has been for a while, between the recent wars and the last few rulers. Having that power concentrated in one family for so long led to corruption, and a lot of people wanted to see them out. A lot of the same people are upset because your mother was chosen. They wanted a change, but not that one."

I was learning more about the real politics of the nation than I ever would have traveling between my mother's and my own country seat, and it was deadly serious. I still felt light and giddy. Gunter was talking to me as an adult, trusting me, choosing me. Bliss. I made myself stay serious. "So the question is will they be uncooperative or actually violent?"

"I doubt that." He looked disturbed. "I hadn't really thought about it. But there could be real danger, I suppose." His arm tightened around Giesela a bit. "I was more concerned about how effectively Lady Celi could possibly hope to govern, but… you'd better keep your younger brothers close."

I wanted to say that Conrart, at least, could look after himself, but it wasn't true. For his age he was phenomenal, but he was still small and adolescent and there was no help for that. And Wolfram… actually, Wolfram might be able to cope better than Conrart. No one would expect a child that young to raise such a conflagration. But better to make sure neither had to. "I'll make sure of it. Is there any way we can appeal to the other camp? Address specific concerns?"

"Well, I may be mistaken, but isn't Grisela Geiganhuber some degree of cousin?"

I tried not to blanch visibly. Yes, as a matter of fact, first cousin. His mother was my father's sister. He was also the most intimidating person I'd ever met, and he clearly felt I was about the least useful feature the landscape had produced yet. "Yes… But he has no opinion of me."

"I don't know him well, but I'm very sure that his respect tends to belong to those who have proven themselves in the military. However grudging the respect, I'm certain you'll have earned some now."

That hadn't occurred to me. But in that case… I knew being that arrogant jerk's close relation was no help. Gunter was an accomplished warrior, and therefore much more impressive. "Maybe… if we were both to speak to him?" Right away I regretted it. Logic would say that two warriors were better than one, that we'd have more hope of commanding enough respect to win him over with both our talents. Logic never worked out for me. I sounded like a frightened kid. "I don't know if three victories in the field will be enough to convince him I'm not his pesky little cousin anymore."

"Three out of three." Giesela grinned at me. "Perfect score. It's okay to sell yourself a little, you know."

I blinked at her. She had a point. Clever girl. But I was more struck by the fact that she knew that. Gunter must have caught my glance. "She keeps avid track of the news, especially since I was knocked out of the fighting."

"Someone has to. And I don't have to worry about reading that something happened to you since you're home. The worst that'll happen at our house is you fall down the stairs and break your neck."

There was a brief shadow of pain that passed over Gunter's face. I shifted a bit in my chair, the only (I hope) outward sign of the urge to fold him in my arms and hold him until whatever had caused that hurt was gone.

"Wise of you, Giesela." He pressed his nose into her hair, and when he looked up, he was fine again. I had mostly gotten past being frazzled about wishing it was me he was nuzzling. I was hopeless. "I should leave you to get settled in. We can talk more after dinner. I just wanted to be sure that one of you is aware and able to defend if need be."

"I am." I got up to hold the door for him. That was downright strange, but I got a smile for it anyway.

When he was gone, instead of unpacking I dropped onto the bed. Just a moment to be the stupid kid I'd made myself look like. No one else was going to take care of them. Anissina would help me if I could convince her it was interesting, and I had Gunter's guidance and kindness. The real burden was still mine, though.

But he'd chosen to speak to me. He'd smiled. He'd let me see a moment's weakness, let me into his plans. I pulled out my handkerchief and held it against my cheek and caught a ghostly scent of fresh sea air. I shuddered.

It was sinful to imagine him lying beside me, reprehensible to dream about deeply inhaling the scent of his hair. He was an angel. He was a hero. And I was nothing. Beside the opal I was at best a chunk of obsidian, unpolished and unrefined.

Author's Note: I really don't know where this will go, if anywhere, but young Gwendal and his adventures have gotten lodged in his head. I promise I'll update Only the Moon Howls soon. It's been a crazy couple weeks.