As if tired from their pilgrimage.

If you don't know who Mitsuba is and what happens to her, you probably shouldn't be reading this. orz

The title is taken from the 31 Days theme for October 23, 2009.

Mitsuba had, in fact, known long before Hijikata Toshirou had ever denied her that their story was never going to end with the two of them together, happy and whole. She was an intelligent woman, and beyond that, the first and only daughter of an upstanding family. People like her, they had a sense for such things – had to, because it was the only way that they could keep their heads above the water when it all came pouring down.

Knowing, however, had never been enough to stop her from dreaming, which did not stop her from hoping, which eventually boiled down to her ill-fated confession out by the dojo. The drone of the cicadas had, at least, concealed the sound of her quiet little sobs, her tears hitting the stone tiles at her feet.

Her mourning period was not terribly long. She soon became content with standing still on the sidelines, watching her brother – watching him – from a distance. And the distance grew over the next few months, of course, until she found herself at the end of the road, watching their backs grow smaller against the horizon as they walked away from her for the last time, abandoning all for the sake of the Capital.

In the same way that she had known, back then, that it was never meant to be, Mitsuba also knows that this trip to Edo with her husband-to-be is going to be the last one she'll ever be able to make. She sees a little bit more blood on her handkerchief with each new cough, feels a little more worn and tired with each passing day – her time is ending, regardless of what the doctors tell her.

So she leaves with her fiancé, against all reason and the pleading of her physician, to be at least a drive away from the one person she ever loved. Selfish, perhaps, but the dying must be given their due.

Later, as she spots little else beyond a glimpse of an older and colder Hijikata moving past her room, Mitsuba realizes that she has precious little left for her to regret.

Later, as she draws her last breath with the warmth of her brother's face against her palm, Mitsuba shuts her eyes and dreams of summer evenings stained in the green glow of fireflies, and the way their light looked reflected in a pair of sharp blue eyes.