Disclaimer: ST: VOY is not mine.

Author's Note: This story can stand on its own but it would be advisable that you read the one-shot Kiss Me Goodbye before diving into this. Some plot points that may seem vague here would probably be explained there. This was written in my attempt to do two things: fix a death fic and make an Endgame fixer that somehow doesn't involve Endgame or the Borg quick fix way home in the ending TPTB gave us. Oh, and I own the Akial. (laughs) Had to use a plot device other than Korath to make some of this plausible.

Acknowledgment: Thanks for the beta, quantumsilver! Many huggles for you and for your ferrets! Thanks for clearing up the whole comma-period fiasco in my grammatical hell. :)

Inevitable
By mistress amethyst une

Part 1

Captain Chakotay sat in the ready room that was once Kathryn's. His ready room, now. He ran his fingers over the four pips pinned to his uniform turtleneck. A symbol of her captaincy which was now his burden to bear. It was one of those days when painful memories just refused to leave him alone.

His final conversation with Seven echoed in his head. The conversation prior to their divorce after her refusal to provide nanoprobes to help bring Kathryn back from the dead…

"She died to save you!"

"Only to have you keep me in her ship's brig," she replied indignantly.

"You committed a serious act of insubordination resulting in your commanding officer's death. Even if I am your husband, did you expect me to go easy on you? I'm captain now and I won't let you get away with this."

"You are a fool. You are infatuated with a corpse."

"No, Seven. I was married to a corpse. To you."

"Was?"

"You really expect me to stay married to you after that stunt you pulled? This marriage is over."

For the first time, Seven looked seriously dumbfounded.

"What will I do without you?" she asked, almost meekly.

"I admire your confidence but you won't be doing anything regardless of being with or without me. Enjoy the rest of the journey in the brig," he replied harshly as he turned his back on her wondering what he had ever seen in her. "You'll adapt."

"I will need to regenerate," she called out after him.

He had begun to walk away, but froze in his tracks although he refused to turn and face her. "The doctor will accompany you to the cargo bay when you need to regenerate and escort you back to the brig after each cycle. You will no longer associate with the Voyager crew, and are hereby stripped of all privileges."

"Captain Janeway would not have wanted this."

"Thanks to you, we might never really know what she wanted."

For once, she was at a loss for words and could say nothing as he walked out of her life forever.

Icheb had been more than willing to help in the efforts to bring Captain Janeway back. She had been brain dead for just over two hours when she'd been brought to Sickbay. The doctor had been able to restore brain activity, but she remained comatose. They kept her in a stasis chamber the doctor had altered specifically to aid in her nanoprobe therapy. They all hoped she would one day wake, and Chakotay was eternally indebted to Icheb for generously donating his nanoprobes upon Seven's refusal. Chakotay visited her everyday and was constantly inquiring about her condition. He even spoke to her hoping she could hear him.

The time came when her body could function independently from the stasis chamber, although she still refused to wake. She was then kept on a biobed, and his visits increased in frequency. His eyes had welled up the first time he'd been able to touch her again. The dermal regenerator had done a damn good job, and all signs of injury had been erased from her features. He didn't dare to hope for her full recovery just yet because, despite her now restored appearance, he knew quite well that the EMH was far from done repairing all the internal damage. Outwardly, she was the perfect picture of health and lay there pristinely in a hospital gown. Completely at peace, even as red alert klaxons constantly took her most ardent admirer away from her bedside...

It was during one of his frequent visits to her that Chakotay had needed to rush down to the brig. What was his ex-Borg ex-wife up to that had prompted an entire security team to rush down there? He was more than a little peeved at the sight which greeted him. This was what they'd dragged him away from Kathryn for?

"Captain," remarked Tuvok. "Lieutenant Torres seemed inclined to use extreme physical force on the prisoner."

He could see B'Elanna restrained by two security officers. She was cursing and raging. He didn't bother to glance at Seven's reaction.

"Why won't you let me give her what she deserves?" she screamed as she struggled. "Because of her, Captain Janeway is dead! Dead because this Borg bitch wanted to show off! Only reason I wasn't down here sooner was because of all the work that needed to be done. Do you have any idea how much damage we sustained after your little stunt? Those people were not happy about our stealing their dilithium. They sent a fleet after us! A fleet!"

B'Elanna looked ready to break down in tears of rage. "Of course, we wouldn't have had to steal if you hadn't provoked them. Your bright idea to take what wasn't ours. We should have waited, damn it! 'Too risky, Seven!' Remember that? She chastised you in front of all the senior officers during the briefing. The Captain and I already had energy conservation plans in place and there was another planet we could have mined from just a few light years away. But no...that was too 'inefficient ' for you! You had to do it your way. What's the matter, Seven? She was a threat to your marriage? Showed everyone just how unreasonable you could be, and you needed to prove her wrong somehow? She left you and Chakotay alone even when her heart was breaking! I don't understand this! Tuvok, make them let me go! She needs to be taught a damned lesson! And you won't even offer a single nanoprobe to save her life after she died to save you? What the hell is wrong with you? Afraid you'll lose your husband to her? Ha! You can't even compete with her dead body, you-"

"Enough, Lieutenant," admonished Tuvok.

"Oh, I'm far from done. So Seven-"

"You should have let B'Elanna beat her to a pulp."

The words issued by the once-gentle first officer turned bitter captain were shocking to hear, and quickly put a stop to the engineer's stream of words.

"Captain?"

"Never mind. Please, as much as possible, do not involve me in matters concerning Seven. If you can handle it yourselves, do so. I might make an irrational decision owing to the nature of her crime and its personal impact on me. Is that clear?"

His glare mirrored Janeway's exactly.

"Acknowledged," replied Tuvok without protest.

"Dismissed."

The security team walked out, and B'Elanna was about to follow them.

"Not you, Lieutenant."

She froze.

"My ready room. Ten minutes. Make your peace with Seven or beat the crap out of her...I honestly don't care. Just don't be late."

He walked out, leaving Voyager's Chief Engineer frozen at his uncharacteristic harshness. Not once had he looked at his ex-wife, who sat up straight and defiantly in her cell throughout the entire discourse.

B'Elanna threw the ex-Borg a look of disgust.

"You know what?" she said, breathing deeply to calm herself. "I don't have time for you right now. You'd better hope I have a good day in Engineering tomorrow. Might end up changing my mind. Captain Janeway would have gone a lot easier on you. If anything good came of her death, it's your being knocked off that damned high horse. That and Chakotay seems to be coming to his senses."

B'Elanna laughed bitterly. "You had it all, you know. Married to the second-highest-ranking officer on the ship, supported by the captain, admired by a majority of the men and envied by most of the women aboard for both your intelligence and beauty... and you threw it all away because you wanted more. I knew he was going to leave you. It was only a matter of time. He couldn't stay away from her for long. You should have been happy to have had him at all... I never did understand why she didn't fight for him. She loved you, you know. Thought of you like a daughter. Guess she thought your happiness meant more than her own. If she could see you now...ungrateful bitch."

Her combadge chirped. "Chakotay to Torres. Five minutes, Lieutenant."

"I'll be right there."

Before leaving the brig, she locked eyes with Seven and coldly stated her intent. "You remember what he said earlier, don't you? I basically have permission to kill you in cold blood if I want to."

"I will resist," replied Seven. She could no longer hold her tongue against the half-Klingon's verbal onslaught.

"Oh, so you haven't lost the ability to talk after all," stated B'Elanna mockingly. "As much as I'd love to reply to that with your personal Borg cliché, I'd rather not waste my breath."

"This is not over."

"Of course not," she said with a menacing grin. "When I'm shoving you out an airlock...that's when it'll be over."

She made sure to apply an edge to her tone with those last five words. She was dead serious, and her eyes emanated pure poison in Seven's direction. A smile of satisfaction played upon her lips as she turned from the target of her intimidation. She could've sworn she'd seen the ex-Borg twitch.

Feeling considerably better and grinning smugly, she made her way to the turbolift. Well, that had improved her mood. Miral and Tom wouldn't have to deal with her short temper tonight. She intended to visit Captain Janeway after her little chat with Chakotay. It had been forever since she'd seen her former commanding officer.

"Deck one," she told the computer upon entering the turbolift. She seriously wondered what Chakotay wanted to talk about. The fact that he actually wished harm on the wife he once adored left her more than a little confused. Would she be chastised or commended for her attempted actions against Seven? She almost laughed. Chakotay commending her for using violence out of anger? Now that would be something to talk about...

B'Elanna entered the ready room and stood at attention before Chakotay. He was seated on the couch he had so often occupied with Kathryn and was seemingly engrossed in a PADD.

"At ease, Lieutenant," he said with a wave of his hand not even bothering to look at her. "Now tell me, what were you thinking going down to the brig like that?"

"Sir?"

His slight slump betrayed his fatigue. He put the PADD down on the coffee table and finally met her gaze. "Come sit down."

She arched an eyebrow at him but didn't bother to ask for his reasons. She took her position beside him on the couch without protest.

"So, what did you want to talk about, Sir?"

"It's just Chakotay right now."

"Ok...just know that now that we've dropped formality, I'm a hell of a lot more likely to curse at you."

She must have imagined his mouth quirking into a small smile for a split second before it returned to the sad hyphen that had become its natural state since the captain's demise.

"I'll deserve every word of it, B'Elanna," he remarked bitterly. "Just answer the question I asked. You can bludgeon me afterwards."

"About Seven?"

He suppressed a wince at the sound of his ex-wife's name. "Yes. Why did you go down there?"

"Isn't it obvious? I wanted to give the Borg bitch hell for what she did. And from what I heard from you down there, you felt the same. Quite surprising, really. I can't say I've ever seen that degree of hatred from you. Not even for the Cardassians. Over the past few years, you seemed to have gotten a lid on your temper."

"Well, Seven blew that lid off," he replied with a bitter chuckle -- a sound which had become foreign to him. He couldn't recall the last time he'd really laughed, and the mild chortle he'd just emitted only pained him. Would the only laughter he'd have now come from finding the sick humor in his situation?

"Killed it, you mean. Captain Janeway was your buffer, wasn't she?"

He was silent. She put her hand on his shoulder as a comforting gesture, but he pulled away.

"Sorry," he remarked. "It's just that-"

"She used to do that. I know," B'Elanna sighed. "When she started speaking to you less and less, she turned to me. Started off with her just asking about Miral while I submitted my reports. Gradually escalated to a few talks over coffee. She soon opened up and our discussions grew more personal. I even ended up taking your place at those weekly dinners she used to share with you. Tom kept joking that I was cheating on him with the captain. She even let me call her Kathryn sometimes."

"So she replaced me?"

He seriously looked hurt by her admission. Like he'd been struck in the face and was dazed by the sudden pain of impact...

B'Elanna snorted. "Yeah, a married woman is an excellent replacement for the love of her life. Don't be a hypocrite, Chakotay. You replaced her first. All those times she was having dinner with me, we both knew she would rather have been with you. But where were you? Yet another rain check? Even before you married Seven, you'd already begun to blow her off. She had no idea that first time you declined her for lunch would be the end of your off-duty time together. She remembered that very well, you know. Got a bit choked up when she told me about it. That was the same day she had to kill the crew's hopes by declining to explore that Borg-infested nebula for a way home. She was miserable but no one knew. Usually, it's you who knows when she's feeling down, but you were too busy being happy with Seven. I wanted to pity her. She really thought she could be happy just seeing you happy."

She didn't think it was possible for him to look even more miserable, but he proved her wrong by burying his face in his hands as his eyes began to water.

"I had no idea," he said in a muffled voice infused with regret and suppressed tears. "I knew we had something between us but I had no idea what it was...I didn't know until she asked me to kiss her before she died."

She sighed. "Chakotay, at least she finally made her feelings clear to you. I've been telling her to do something like that for months. She scolded me, saying you were married and that she could never be the other woman. I told her you'd leave Seven sooner or later, and she told me to bite my tongue. She'd really given up all hope, you know. Probably why she only kissed you when she had nothing left to lose."

She heard him begin to sob into his hands.

"How could I hurt her like that? I'll never get to tell her what she meant to me..."

"Chakotay, you never meant to hurt her. We're all sure of that. All right, so you were being an idiot and a lot of us weren't opposed to giving you a good beating. Kahless knows how many times Ayala's asked me if brig time would be worth stunning you for being such a fool. But who knows? She might wake up someday. It's only been a month. There's still hope."

"But for all intents and purposes, she's dead," he said in a voice that was raw with pain. He allowed his hands to slide from his face and wiped away the few tears he'd allowed himself to shed. "Maybe Seven was right. Maybe I am infatuated with a corpse."

Her eyes widened in anger even as she tried to keep her tone steady despite the escalation in tone. "She said what! How dare-"

"B'Elanna, please. Don't make things any worse. I don't want Tuvok dragging me down there for a murder investigation."

He smiled weakly to disarm her temper. It was good to have let a bit of his gloom out, and he found that his small grin was sincere.

Voyager's chief engineer did her best to calm herself and sighed. "Well, haven't seen those dimples in awhile. I was afraid you'd lost them from lack of use."

He gave a mild chortle, one bereft of all bitterness. "I couldn't let that happen. She'll need something nice to look at when she wakes up."

B'Elanna grinned. "Finally, some optimism! That's what I'm talking about. So maybe we should go visit her now? I wanted to do just that after our little chat. It might be good for us to go and see her together. I haven't seen her restored yet and I hear she's breathing on her own now. Felt a bit morbid seeing her in that stasis chamber. Reminded me too much of a coffin."

Chakotay gave a weak nod. "She's looking much better...like she's only sleeping. I'm sure she'd appreciate a visit from her dinner buddy."

She got up and offered him his hand. "Dinner buddies. Not just me. You'll need to cook for her when she wakes up. Start making up for all those meals she missed."

He took her hand and rose. "I'll have to figure out a way to work coffee into every course."

She smiled at him as they left the ready room hand in hand. "Probably what she's dreaming of right now..."

In the hall, they ran into Tom who guffawed at the sight of his wife hand in hand with Voyager's new captain. "Well, well, well...you do love cheating on me with captains, don't you?"

She playfully swatted at him as he kissed her on the cheek. Chakotay released her hand to let her hug her husband.

"I just have a better reputation with the brass than you," she told him with a mild chuckle.

"Tell me about it," said Tom with a grin. He'd been trying to keep himself cheerful since the captain's "death." With Neelix gone, someone had to at least try to keep the crew from getting too depressed. It was far from easy considering he'd needed to keep his mood light on virtually no sleep. Between having to tend to Miral, his time both at the helm and in Sickbay and giving the occasional depressed ensign a pep talk, he had little time for rest.

Chakotay had taken him aside and offered him the position of first officer a couple of weeks ago, and he had politely declined. He had too much on his plate as it was. He knew Tuvok had turned down the position too, and that the Vulcan was meditating more and more. When Tom had asked why, Tuvok had only replied that it was a private matter. It seemed that Chakotay's old seat would have to stay empty, and Voyager's new captain would have to take them home with no one at his side.

"So, where are you two off to?"

"Visiting Captain Janeway in Sickbay," replied B'Elanna.

Tom smiled. "I just came from there. Finished my shift; she's looking good. Doc says her brain functions are still weak though. We've been giving her nutrients, seeing if she can absorb them. Now that she's out of stasis, we can't have her starving in her sleep."

"Aren't you the perfect little nurse?" she teased. "So, are you going to join us?"

"Nah," he smiled. "You and Captain Chakotay go. I think Captain Janeway's getting sick of having me hovering over her all day. Besides, I have to go get Miral and Harry. We owe him dinner tonight."

She leaned into him for a quick kiss. "Tell her that Mommy will be with her soon. Harry's been so nice to take care of her. And remind him not to try to calm her with rattles. The sound really annoys her."

"Yes, ma'am," he joked before walking off.

B'Elanna turned to Chakotay and he nodded. They made their way to the turbolift in mutual silence.

"Deck five," he said when they had both entered the turbolift. He always grew uneasy when he was going to see Kathryn. What would she be like when he saw her this time? Would there be more good news about her improving condition, or would she be struggling to cling to what little life they had managed to impart back into her body? Tom's words to him in the hall should have reassured him, but they made him worry even more. Starving to death in her sleep...there were so many ways she could die...again.

The turbolift doors opened as they arrived on deck five and made their way to Sickbay. The morose EMH greeted them. The doctor was caught in quite a mess. It was no secret that he had loved Seven once, and probably still did. He had grown sentient over the past nine years. Even if some would still consider him as nothing more than a piece of medical equipment, the pain he felt was tangible. His holographic heart was broken over what had transpired between the woman he adored and the woman he most respected. The one he loved was incarcerated, while the captain he held in such high esteem was in a state one couldn't exactly call living. How long had he been suffering? It had been almost three years since Seven had turned him down, six months since she'd married Chakotay, one month since Captain Janeway had been struck down. Every day was pain. He could delete his subroutines for emotion and end his suffering, but opted not to. He had no idea why.

He knew that he and Captain Janeway were both stung by that union the most, and they had occasionally discussed the subject offhandedly during her physicals, and whenever he was putting her back together after yet another reckless move during a mission.

"You miss her, don't you?"

She sat upright on the biobed as he ran the dermal regenerator over the last of her injuries.

"Captain, do you really want to talk about this?" said the mildly irate EMH who had just finished scolding her for yet another foolhardy decision. She'd put herself at risk yet again by deciding to personally intercede in a brawl between a few intoxicated members of her crew and some rather rowdy aliens...so much for shore leave.

"You started it with that perpetual frown of yours. You miss Seven."

"When did that ever matter? Who cares about how the hologram feels? Tweak a few subroutines, and he should be right as rain again."

"Do you really feel we think that little of you? You're our friend."

"Friend? They come in here rubbing their happiness in my face, and she hardly acknowledges me while he pretends I never had anything with his new wife. Captain, their marriage is a farce. He's old enough to be her father, and she's practically a teenager, just beginning to learn her new emotions now that her fail-safe has been removed. They don't even share a bed at night. She regenerates in the cargo bay, and he sleeps in their shared quarters alone unless they decide to get frisky."

His every word was laced with bitterness.

"Their marriage has been hardest on you, I suppose," replied Janeway. "But I'm quite sure neither of them bears you any ill will."

"Captain, stop pretending you're not hurt by this too. I'm a doctor, not a counselor, but it's still plain to see that you're practically dripping with discontent."

She sighed. "There's nothing I can do. I could never stand in the way of their happiness. Right now, his happiness is Seven."

"It used to be you."

"'Used to be.' Not anymore. He grew tired of me I guess. Because I never gave him a reason to hope. Don't feel sorry for me, doctor. If anything, I should be the one offering you comfort. You offered her your heart, and she turned it down. Even I can see that was a mistake on her part. You're a good man."

"A holographic one."

"That doesn't make you anything less. You've grown with this crew and with this ship. You helped her grow with you. We feel with flesh and blood, heart and mind. You feel with something entirely different, but that doesn't make your heartbreak anything less than what it would be in someone who wasn't a hologram."

"Someone like you?"

She was silent and stepped off the biobed. "Perhaps."

She walked off and left Sickbay.

"Captain Chakotay, Lieutenant Torres," he said, acknowledging them both with snippy formality. "I assume you're here to see Captain Janeway. I'll leave you to your own devices."

Voyager's new captain was not the least bit surprised at the EMH's hostility toward him. The doctor had loved Seven and been turned down by her in favor of dating Chakotay. He'd taken the doctor's place in giving her social lessons. The poor EMH was left completely out in the cold.

The doctor made his way into his office to look over his analysis of a new drug he intended to synthesize. He really needed to get his work done, but his thoughts kept drifting back to Seven. He accompanied her for regeneration cycles, and she always followed him mutely. Apparently, she was suppressing her emotions quite well, even after having had her fail-safe removed. Where had his Seven gone? The one who was so eager to learn about humanity, who showed as much emotion as she could, although she was limited by her Borg implants and baffled by the practices of the crew. Probably drowned and died in the tide of emotions that had engulfed her after she failed to keep her marriage from falling apart. Admittedly, it was diffcult to recover from the trauma of inadvertently killing the true object of one's husband's affections. The young woman he saw down there was not the Seven he had loved. The only thing down there in the brig was a cold, jilted, stubborn, and bitter bitch...

He turned his attention back to his work.

"Chronexaline?"

"Yes, Captain. Remember the 'year of hell' that Kes described?"

"The alternate timeline she saw because of the chroniton particles in her system?"

"Exactly. Well, that got me thinking about protection against chroniton particles and other hazards of time travel. At least on a biological level."

"So, what does this drug do?"

"It protects all biological matter from tachyon radiation, chroniton particles, and various other hazards we might face while encountering a temporal anomaly. You must admit, there were residual traces of radiation everywhere after that impromptu trip to the twentieth century. We were only fortunate to have had shields up. If our shields had been down, who knows what might have happened?"

"I get your point. But why, doctor? You can't just suddenly have the urge to do a large-scale project like this?"

"I need a distraction. Besides, the chrono deflector-"

She cut him off. "That's our little secret. The Akial wanted to thank you for your medical services, and would have been offended if we turned down their gift. It seemed a waste to throw away perfectly good technology that we could perhaps alter for other purposes someday. You have my full support on the chronexaline, but forget about the chrono deflector. You know how I hate temporal paradoxes."

He sighed. "I'll forget about using the deflector, but at least let me keep it in Sickbay. Have Lieutenant Torres work with me. I'd like to see what effects a temporal rift it might open would have. She'd be able to run simulations to help my research on the effects of a rift. It'll help me see how else I can improve the drug."

She looked apprehensive but his look was sufficiently pleading. "Fine. But I'll have to swear B'Elanna to secrecy too. They say the only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead. Don't prove them right." She smiled at him as she rested an encouraging hand on his shoulder. She was putting her complete faith in him.

He desperately wanted to groan in frustration. The chemical would have been perfect had it not been a double-edged sword. As he'd expected, chronexaline could provide the user complete biological protection from radiation during time travel, but it also had the side effect of turning toxic after a few days in a living system. The only application he could think of for it was if the user was going on a temporal suicide mission. Travel forwards or backwards in time to change one event, with no intention of returning to his own timeline. He wondered if he should scrap the whole endeavor. They certainly couldn't use it for immediate protection if faced with the danger of a temporal anomaly. Not unless, the trouble they faced forced them no other recourse but to alter time and space in order to save the ship.

He peeked over his work to look at Chakotay and Torres. Chakotay was standing, and his gaze never left the captain's unconscious form. Torres had taken Chakotay's usual seat by the captain's bedside, and was speaking animatedly with the sleeping woman. The doctor couldn't help but let his glance dart back to Chakotay. There was something about that gaze that transcended sadness: his eyes were haunted.

The doctor shook his head as he returned to his work. Perhaps there was a way to remove the toxicity of the chronexaline...they were in dire straits and using the chrono deflector had crossed his mind more than once. Captain Janeway wouldn't have wanted the Temporal Prime Directive to be broken, but her crew needed her. If the treatments for her failed and she truly died, he knew Chakotay would be unable to take it and would be incapable of command.

"The cortical stimulator is working," said the doctor. "I'm getting a weak pulse."

"She's coming back," said Chakotay, his voice awash with relief.

"I'll use cordrazine along with the stimulator."

Her eyes fluttered shut again, as the hypospray hissed against her neck. Chakotay's expression of relief was quickly replaced by one of horror, as her condition went into yet another downward spiral.

Tuvok stepped forward, and went to see if he could somehow help.

"Her eyes are open," said Chakotay, sighing with relief again, even as a mild sense of panic permeated his voice.

"Vital signs are responding," reported the EMH. "Blood pressure is sixty over thirty."

Tuvok pointed out their main problem. "But the entity is still inhabiting her cerebral cortex, impeding your treatment."

Chakotay pleaded with her, his voice replete with emotion. "Kathryn, hang on. We're bringing you back. Just fight a little longer."

The doctor decided to try a different approach. "Direct synaptic stimulation might drive out the alien presence."

Her eyes snapped shut again.

"Do it!" Chakotay practically yelled.

She drifted back into consciousness for a few seconds.

"Something's happened," said the EMH. "The alien presence is getting stronger again."

"Fight it, Kathryn, just a little longer." He was begging her to stay alive.

The doctor did his best to keep her from losing the battle. None of them could afford to lose her. Chakotay would undoubtedly blame himself, and wouldn't be at his best in command.

"I'll have to try a thoron pulse…"

The doctor distinctly remembered that day. The relief on Chakotay's face when he was finally certain of her safety. The doctor knew that one reason Chakotay still had his wits about him, was because he still had the captain to cling to. If she really had been lost, no one could really tell how the new captain would have responded. Probably taken command, as best he could, since she had personally entrusted him with the duty. There were so many factors to take into consideration, so one could never be truly certain. Surely, Chakotay was never the same after the captain's first "death." If she died, a second time…well, a man's heart could only take so much grief.

The doctor sighed as he further reflected on their predicament. He knew that Tuvok was ill and meditated to keep senility at bay. The Vulcan would be unable to replace Chakotay in that event. But who the hell would be willing to go back in time and risk erasing themselves from existence? He knew he would have gone in a heartbeat had he not known for sure that tachyon radiation, at the levels released by the deflector, would degrade his program beyond repair. He shook his head. No, it was best to be optimistic. Why was he even considering messing with space and time, when there was a chance she could still wake up? This was proving to be an exercise in futility.

After an hour, Chakotay and Torres left the captain and bid the doctor goodbye. As they made their way to the turbolift, their emotional fatigue was apparent.

"Deck nine," said B'Elanna as they entered the lift. "Care to join Tom and me for dinner? Harry will be there, too."

"Why not? I could use some company."

The turbolift doors hissed open as they arrived on deck nine.

"By the way," he asked, "what were you telling the captain about an enhanced warp drive?"

"Oh that," she replied. "Joe and I were working on some warp drive modifications that could cut our remaining travel time. We've taken quite a few light year jumps so our journey's been considerably shortened as it is. I recently factored in our current course. Considering our current distance from the Alpha Quadrant, it'll take us two years if we got those modifications online now. Joe used to joke that we'd have to add on another year to our estimates because the captain would want to explore every anomaly in sight."

"Where are the schematics?"

She frowned visibly as she keyed in the code to her shared quarters with Tom. "It's still highly experimental."

They doors hissed open, and they were welcomed by the sound of Miral shrieking in Harry's arms as he desperately tried to calm her with a rattle. She had reached her terrible twos and was beginning to walk and talk. The child always seemed to be traveling at warp nine and Tom had tasked Harry with putting her to bed.

"Unca Haha! Rara!" the young girl shrieked in between cries, "No! No! NO!"

B'Elanna grabbed the rattle from the distressed ensign, "Harry! What do you think you're doing?"

"Huh?"

"No rattles, Harry. She hates the sound. Didn't Tom tell you?"

"Mama!" shrieked Miral with delight as B'Elanna took her from Harry and cradled her in her arms.

"Sorry, B'Elanna," sighed Harry. "My younger cousin loved rattles, and I was always taking care of him when we were growing up. Shouldn't have used the same approach on Miral. Tom hasn't arrived yet so he didn't get the chance to warn me."

B'Elanna held Miral and took her into the room she shared with Tom. They were in rather cramped quarters, but the cradle somehow fit in the bedroom. She lowered Miral inside.

"Mama and Dada have dinner with the captain, ok?" she smiled at the child. "Can you try to shhh tonight?"

Miral reached out for her and squealed. She didn't seem to be listening.

"Oh fine, I'll rock you to sleep. But really, you need to shhh..."

She took Miral back into the main living area. "Hope you don't mind, but our little Klingon princess wants to join us for dinner. Did you feed her already, Harry?"

"Mashed veggies," he replied and pointed to the huge green and orange stain on his gold Ops uniform.

"I see...I'll just hold her until she drifts off. Tom should be here soon. Let's all sit at the table."

Chakotay and Harry followed and sat with her just as Tom entered.

"Sorry, I'm late," he sighed. "Ran into Brooks. She looked kinda down-"

"We know. You're practically morale officer now," smiled B'Elanna as she continued to rock Miral gently. "Do you mind replicating dinner? I can't exactly get up."

Tom replicated a vegetable stew for Chakotay and a meatloaf for the rest of them. B'Elanna ate as best she could with a fork in one hand and Miral cuddled in the crook of her left arm. She bounced her knee and willed her daughter to sleep. Everyone spoke in whispers.

"So, the enhanced warp drive?" inquired Chakotay in as quiet a voice as he could.

"I'll hand in the schematics tomorrow," she whispered. "It's still highly experimental, I told you. We'll need to fix a few things. Joe isn't around to help me anymore."

"What about Vorik?"

Tom snorted and quipped in a hush. "They'll be at each other's throats before anything gets done."

Harry suppressed a laugh as the faintest snore was heard from Miral.

"Finally, she's asleep," sighed B'Elanna who got up to take the girl to her crib. Upon her return, she rejoiced at having the use of both hands and eagerly dug into her meal. She'd been on her feet for well over twelve hours and hadn't eaten since breakfast.

"So what else do you want to know about the drive?" she asked Chakotay.

"How long will it take to get it up and running?"

"It depends. It's going to be quite risky."

"If it means getting home..."

"A way home?" interjected Harry.

Tom replied for B'Elanna. "Enhanced warp drive. Her little project on the side with Joe."

"Yes. We were almost done too but..."

"That away mission," Chakotay finished the sentence for her. "Friendship One."

"I guess I should finish what we started if only to make sure his efforts weren't in vain," she said, trying not to dwell on how Joe died.

"Good idea," replied Chakotay. "You have my full support. Use any resources you might need and feel free to run tests as soon as I've looked over the schematics."

B'Elanna nodded her agreement as Tom cleared his throat.

"So shall we move on to more conventional dinner talk?" he asked. "How was your visit to the captain?"

"The usual," sighed Chakotay. "She's looking much better, but she doesn't seem to show any signs of waking up any time soon. She looks so peaceful though. She did avoid rest like the plague when she was still up and about...you had a lot to say to her, didn't you, B'Elanna?"

"Just updated her on how we're all taking care of her ship. Told her about the enhanced warp drive Chakotay and I just discussed. I'd actually thought of implementing it for the longest time, but it didn't feel right without Joe around. Guess I'll be doing it now...to honor both him and the captain."

"Here's to that," said Tom raising his glass of water for a toast. "A pity we don't have any bubbly to celebrate. To Joe and to Captain Janeway..."

The others solemnly followed his example. As their glasses clinked together, they knew in their hearts they could not afford to fail at this shot at home, lest they lose their captain who already had one foot firmly entrenched in the grave.

Dinner ended soon after that toast, and Tom and B'Elanna bid Harry and Chakotay goodbye. They all needed a good night's sleep for the coming day. After sending Harry off, Tom wished Chakotay a good night before going to check on Miral. B'Elanna hugged her friend and gave him one last admonishment before bed.

"We all know you've been sleeping in the ready room since you became captain. Sleep on a proper bed tonight, ok? You'll hurt your back on that couch."

"I'm not that old."

"You're not listening to me, are you?"

"Nope. Sorry B'Elanna but I have my reasons for sleeping there. Please understand."

She gave a sigh of exasperation as she sent him on his way. "Fine. But don't blame me if you throw your back out."

He left their quarters and was relieved that she hadn't nagged him too much. How could she understand that sleeping there was the one thing that gave him comfort? As he walked down the hall and boarded the turbolift, he had a moment of indecision before finally asking to be taken to deck one. No, he couldn't bear to stay in his quarters.

He'd shared those quarters with Seven when they were married. True, she rarely slept there due to her regeneration cycles, but he didn't think he could sleep on the same bed where he had, to use Seven's term, "copulated" with the woman who had performed the foolhardy stunt leading to Kathryn's demise. When he had decided to drop hints about ending their marriage, he had left the bed immediately after sex and opted to sleep on the couch. Seven didn't understand. Maybe if he'd told her point blank, none of this would have happened.

Upon arriving on deck one, he made a beeline for the ready room. His routine: sleep a couple of hours, visit his quarters for a quick sonic shower, replicate a new uniform after recycling the one he'd slept in. He didn't even bother to change before nodding off. He knew he wouldn't be asleep for very long. Without so much as a care, he threw off his uniform jacket and boots, hit the couch and snoozed in his turtleneck and uniform trousers. It was his way of coping. The ready room was very comforting. He hadn't changed a single thing since receiving captaincy. Even the smell of black coffee still hung in the air from the many cups Kathryn had replicated, guzzled and, once in awhile, spilled while she was in command.

He slept soundly that night, knowing a clear way home was on the horizon and almost welcomed the morning instead of facing it with his usual dread. After freshening up, he took his seat at her desk and got started on a few reports. B'Elanna arrived at 0900 with the schematics he requested.

"Sleep well, Captain?"

"Better than usual. Now, let's see it."

She handed him the PADD, "That's the list of the necessary modifications. If we start now, it'll be done within the month. Just in time to commemorate one decade of being in the Delta Quadrant. We'll have to make adjustments once in awhile but I think it's pretty sound."

After looking over it and seeing exactly what the modifications would be, he returned the PADD to her. "Begin as soon as possible."

They were interrupted by the chirp of her combadge. "Sickbay to Torres."

"Torres here."

"It's time we talked about our little pet project."

Chakotay gave her a confused stare as her eyes widened in clandestine understanding of the doctor's words. The chrono deflector and the chronexaline...he was done?

"I'm in a meeting with the captain right now."

"I see. Meet me right after."

The doctor sighed as Lieutenant Torres ended the comm link. He had lowered the chronexaline's toxicity enough for the user to live with no ill effects for one month. After that...well, he didn't want to think of what would happen after that. This was the best he could do. Torres had told him to notify her once he was done with their project. This was as done as it was ever going to get. He just saw fit to tell her before scrapping it permanently. He needed to get rid of it before he ended up contemplating having someone use it. Chakotay would probably jump at the chance if he ever found out about it and the temporal deflector. The doctor refused to risk the death of a second commanding officer and saw no other recourse but to destroy his findings.

He sighed as he looked at the screen showing the captain's brain activity. If she didn't wake up soon, she might never regain consciousness. Forever trapped in a dreamless sleep. In this state, was she really still alive? Could the risk possibly be worth it after all?

Ok, I decided to split this thing into three. Part two jumps to a time when the enhanced warp drive is in place already. :) By the way, the idea for the enhanced warp drive was taken from Course: Oblivion.