Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did, JDox would totally be canon!

AN: Please review! I'm not quite sure about my Cox voice, so any feedback is greatly appreciated!

JD was packing when Perry woke. Cursing under his breath to see Perry's eyes open, he turned his back to their—no, his—bed, and continued packing his duffel bag.

"JD? What're you doing?" Perry asked sleepily, still not entirely awake and aware of what was going on around him.

Not turning around, JD muttered, "I'm so hollow, Perry."

Sitting up now, Perry scrubbed a hand across his face, wiping the sleep from his eyes. "Whaddya mean, JD?" Then, realizing exactly what his lover was doing, he asked urgently, "What's going on?"

Sigh. Turn around. Then, "Perry, we need to talk."

Those four words were no strangers to Perry's ears. After all, every woman he had ever fallen in love with had said them to him at some point. But he had never imagined that he would hear his JD say them.

JD sighed again at the look of confusion and hurt on Perry's face, and then began to explain. "I'm leaving for New York City. I got a job offer from a hospital out there. They're offering me a triple the pay and twice the benefits as Sacred Heart. My plane leaves in a few hours."

Perry shook his head, unbelieving. "Bullshit. What's this really about, JD?" What did I do to drive you away?

"I've kissed your lips and held your hand, shared your dreams and shared your bed. I know you well, I know your smell. I've been addicted to you. But I can't do this anymore. Goodbye my lover," JD murmured, turning away from Perry once again.

Perry was speechless. Sure, their relationship had been awkward at first, but they had both adapted. They'd been together for over a year now, and had been living together for the majority of that time. Perry had been perfectly happy for the first time in his life, and he had been pretty sure that JD had been too. Apparently he'd been mistaken.

"Why, JD? Why does it have to be goodbye? I could go with you to New York. I don't have anyone out here except for you. Let me come with you." Perry hated the way that his voice shook with emotion. Damn it all if he wasn't acting like the girl in this situation. And Newbie was supposed to be the girl in their relationship.

"Did I disappoint you, or let you down?" Perry asked desperately, begging for information from his former-protégé-turned-lover. JD tentatively sat on a corner of the bed, and his shoulders slumped before he began to speak.

"You know, when we started this mess, I saw the end, before we'd even begun. I saw you were blinded by the possibility of there being an 'us', and I knew I had won you. But there's one thing that's wrong with this scenario. Do you know what it is, Perry?" JD finally allowed some of the pain and anger he was feeling to color his tone. Seeing the curiosity in the other man's eyes, JD let out what had been bothering him all these months.

"I love you, okay? I fucking love you, and all you ever do is belittle me and call me girls' names. And sure, it's gotten better ever since we started sleeping together, but whenever I tell you I love you, you always change the subject. And all I ever wanted from you in return was confirmation that maybe, maybe, you weren't using me just for sex, that maybe you loved me too." Having finally confessed his feelings, JD began to shake, tears dripping from his face. Perry longed to reach out and gather JD into his arms, hold him while he cried, but he got the feeling that that would be the worst possible thing to do.

Perry opened his mouth to speak, trying desperately to find something to say that would make JD change his mind. Before he could get any words out, JD spoke again.

"Perry, you touched my heart, you touched my soul. You've changed my life and all my goals. I am a dreamer, you know that, and when I wake, you can't break my spirit—it's my dreams you take. So as I move on, remember me. Remember us and all we used to be."

JD wasn't the only one crying now, although Perry would never admit to anyone the utter anguish that filled his soul at the younger man's words. The sound of both men's despair filled the otherwise-silent room, and for a while, neither spoke. Perry's mind was whirling. He had had no idea of JD's feelings. Sure he'd known that the kid loved him, but he could never bring himself to return those three little words. Suddenly he was seized by the right words to say to get JD to change his mind and stay, and Perry spoke.

"Listen, JD, please. I know you know this, but I have emotional issues. You wanted to know why I've never said 'I love you' to you before? It's because every single woman I have ever said that to, ever, has left me. This is totally irrational, but…I feel like if I ever said those words to you, that eventually you would leave." At this, Perry laughed, the irony of the situation hitting him. "And now, because I haven't told you I love you, you're leaving." Perry lifted his head to look at the ceiling, his hands twining in his curly red hair.

After a pause, he dropped his gaze and glanced at JD to see how his admission was received. JD's shoulders had stopped shaking, for which he was grateful. At least it meant the kid was listening, even though he might still leave. Knowing he had to keep talking to try and fix this situation, he continued.

"I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile. Sometimes, I lie awake at night and watch you sleep, and think how lucky I am to have you. I'd spend a lifetime with you." JD's slumped form straightened, but he didn't turn around. Perry kept on talking, afraid to stop for fear the younger man would leave, yet afraid to continue and realize how in love (and thus, how vulnerable) he was around JD. But he ploughed on, determined not to lose the man he loved.

"And I will bare my soul in time. I know your fears and you know mine. We've had our doubts but now we're fine. And I love you, I swear that's true. I cannot live without you." The words spilled out of Perry without his control, and he was surprised to realize all of them were true. He was completely in love with JD, even though he couldn't say it the way the kid wanted to hear.

Having finally confessed his love, Perry paused, waiting for a reaction. Slowly, JD turned around, sadness in his eyes. Perry's heart jumped to his throat, anxious beyond belief for the younger man's response. He anticipated his declaration would cause JD to stay, to want to work things out between them. Instead, JD replied with words that knocked Perry off his feet.

"I'm sorry Perry. But I'm so hollow here."

JD stood, hefting his duffel bag over his shoulder. He made his way to the door, and stopping just inside the frame, he cast one last look at Perry, sitting downcast, utterly broken and alone, on the bed.

"Goodbye, my lover."

And with that, he was gone.