I don't own Naruto. Let's keep it that way.

a/n: I always feel bad writing author's notes. I feel like I'm being too indulgent. But I have to explain some things.

This is a series of drabbles released two at a time, both with the same theme. Each drabble should be treated as an individual story without bearing on the one before or after. That is all.

Rumours

No one quite knows what to say about Haruno Sakura and Hatake Kakashi these days.

There's no direct evidence, but there's speculation. In a place like Konoha, there's always speculation. One person swears he saw Kakashi tuck a strand of hair behind Sakura's ear. Another promises you she's seen Sakura adjust Kakashi's vest. And, Oh God, have you heard about how his examinations always take hours? Granted, Haruno Sakura is not a normal kunoichi and Kakashi - well, he wasn't a very normal teacher. The kinder people like to say that there's just a very strong bond between them, one born from sweat and blood and loss.

Besides, no one can really say anything. She's of age now and though he's fourteen years her senior, that's hardly unusual in a place like Konoha, in a place where adulthood is reached younger and younger. Where boys and girls are taught to kill, then to sell their talents to their country and others who paid considerably more. Who were they to gossip about a maybe-yes/maybe-no something between a hero and their Hokage's apprentice?

But still, there are whispers about how she was seen knocking at his door in the middle of the night, stealing glances around her and scratching at her calves with her toes. Or how he's suddenly reading that dirty book of his less and less. She smiles more than she has in a long time and though not many can tell exactly when Kakashi is smiling, people say the same of him. He buys groceries for two now, unless he's more hungry than he used to be. Department store clerks say she's been looking at some pretty pricey undergarments.

But really, no one knows quite what to say.

The only one who can get his paws on Kakashi's manga is Jiraiya, of course. Being the source of the smut, it's only natural that he should. They know each other personally, but there's still the novelty of book signings. On those happy days, where Jiraiya gets to meet all his happy drooling fans - older housewives with kink still left in them, younger boys with wispy facial hair - he can always expect to see the copy nin waiting patiently in line with a dog-eared copy of his latest work.

Today, he's the last in line. When Jiraiya takes the book from his hand (pries, really), he notes a red marking on one of the pages. Someone vandalizing his art?! Gasping his shock and horror, he flips through the pages. In every racy panel there's a check mark. Jiraiya is a smart man and he can guess very well what a check mark is supposed to denote but... He pauses and sets the book down for a second, his thumb holding the place of an especially complex page.

"There is no way any living person can do some of the things in here."

Kakashi shrugs and his exposed eye crinkles into what Jiraiya can only assume is a sheepish grin. Or maybe an arrogant one. Or a lying son-of-a-bitch one.

"I mean, it figures you'd get around, but damn! How many women did you find to do these?! Where can I find them?!" Jiraiya continues, reopening the book.

"What makes you think there's more than one woman?"

"There's no way you could convince one woman to..." Jiraiya trails off as he reaches a page of chapter art. The woman drawn is slim, with short hair and a bright smile. She's wearing a medic uniform - this would be the one about the naughty nurse. His inspiration for this character is a secret one; a fairly obvious secret, actually, but no one else seems to have figured it out. Or if they have, they haven't told his muse, else she'd be punching a hole through his middle.

There's no nudity, no man, nothing too obscene in this one picture. And yet there's still a check. Jiraiya glances up and gives Kakashi a long, hard stare, one brow raised. Kakashi takes the book from limp hands, opens it to the front page, and sets it down before its author.

"Just sign it. You tell anyone and I'll tell her."

It's a very good threat.