Nami hated how her body was shaking. She was bleeding from so many places; she didn't know how she could have any more blood inside her to move. And yet she managed. She took one foot in front of the other until she had left the road and was walking down the dock. Stopping in front of the huge ship.

"Na…"

She looked painfully up at Luffy. His demeanour changed, as she knew it would. That was why she had wanted to sneak aboard the ship without anyone noticing.

"Luffy before you and the others charge off…"

"Who was it?"

She could sense the others come out too. Looking at her. Pitying her. She found out for the first time since she joined, she hated them. She truly hated them. Just because she was so weak.

"Nami."

"Elq Lad Pirates."

Her face fell downwards as she felt Luffy, Sanji, Zoro, Usopp and Franky jump down and started to walk towards the city.

"I'm sorry."

But no on heard her whisper. Slowly she climbed the rope ladder before placing both feet on the deck. It took her a moment to regain from the sudden pain, but when Chopper came running to aid her she just brushed him off.

"But Nami…"

"I'm fine Chopper. I'm just going to take a bath."

"But…"

"I said I was fine."

The tiny reindeer was frightened and ran to hide behind Robin's legs. Nami looked at her, and hated the pity in her nakama's eyes. Nami turned her back to them and got herself to the big bathroom. She drew a bath and carefully took off all her cloths. Some of the blood had dried and when she pulled the clothing off, the wounds reopened. Carefully she slipped herself into the boiling water, and first now would she let the tears run down her face.

"What does someone as strong as Straw Hat Luffy do with someone so weak?"

She pushed her head under the water and screamed. She screamed of pain. Of frustration. Of anger, sorrow and doubt. She stayed submerged as long as she could. Her lungs started to complain and instinctive she pulled her head up again.

The water had turned dark pink and she had no more strength, not that she had much to begin with.

She rose and walked out of the tub. The room was filled with steam as she pulled out one of her shirts and started to rip it up to bandage her wounds. She knew Chopper would happily do it, but she couldn't. It would only make her feel worse if he did.

The pain was almost unbearable, not because she hadn't felt worse. She had. It was the significance behind them that made her cough from pain. Even Usopp had gone out to save her honour. It was disgraceful.

She got dressed for bed, just wanting to sleep, and slithered out of the bathroom. Luckily she didn't meet anyone and just took cover under her blanket. The pain between her legs starting to sting again.

--

"How is she?"

Robin just looked at the men when she sat down at the breakfast table.

"She hasn't talked to me."

"She wouldn't even let me take care of her wounds."

Chopper was almost crying. The rest of the men clenched.

"What was that woman doing all alone?"

"I wasn't aware that I needed a babysitter."

They turned and looked at her as she was suddenly standing there.

"Don't mind me. I just need some food."

"Please let me do that Nami-san."

"I can make my own food Sanji."

The entire crew was shocked. Nami actually turned down someone offering to do the work for her. It was almost as unbelievable as she turning down money. She walked over to the fridge, slowly opening it. Her back red by blood.

"Nami you're bleeding. Let me help you."

Chopper got to his feet and walked over and touched her gently.

"Don't touch me."

She turned around and looked like something had burnt her or something. Chopper looked with tears in his eyes at her.

"But Nami…"

"Don't touch me."

Her legs wouldn't carry her anymore, and she fell to the floor. Her face buried in her hands, and her cries muffled but detectible.

Finally her crying stopped and she just looked aphetic in front of her.

"Nami?"

Robin got to her feet and sat down next to the girl. Nami didn't even look at her.

"Nami-chan why don't we let cook-kun make you some nice breakfast and you and I can sit in the aquarium bar."

Nami didn't say anything, but got to her feet and walked out of the room quickly followed by Robin. The room was silent for a while before Sanji walked over to the fridge,

"Now I think we were too nice to them yesterday."

The other men, with the exception of Chopper, agreed.

--

"Shut up."

She was drunk. It was a weird feeling, being drunk. She had no idea how much she had been drinking, but it had finally done its job.

"What did you say little girl?"

"I said shut up."

And just because she felt like it she added

"You pig."

She had no idea who the man was. No idea what he had done, but she knew she hated him. Him and his entire crew. Her face was flushed and the ground wouldn't lie still. He pushed her, and she loved it. When her body hurt, her mind didn't.

He raised his arm again, and Nami closed her eyes to take the blow. But it never came. She opened it to find Luffy standing in front of her.

"No one touches my nakama."

"But she…"

There was something in his air that just killed any protest anyone could have had. This she hated the most. Like she was some damsel in distress.

"I don't…"

Why were the words so hard to form?

"I'm not…"

Why wouldn't her mouth move as she ordered it too? Why was it so hard to get back on her feet?

"I'm not weak."

Her legs were barely supporting her. She turned to the door and ran out. As the soft wind hit her, the content of her stomach decided they wanted to meet it too. She fell to her knees and threw up. When she was done she sat down and looked up, beaded face and all, at her captain.

"Nami stand."

There was something in his voice she hated. Something that made her listen to him. Her legs protested, but she locked her knees so they wouldn't give in again. He looked almost ashamed of her. She wiped her mouth with her arm.

"We're going back to the ship now."

She just turned and started to walk with unsure steps. She could hear him follow, and she hated him for it. She hated him. She hated him. She hated him.

Her legs stopped working and she tripped. He grabbed her arm, and prevented her from falling to the ground. He continued to walk, still holding her arm, and Nami had problems keeping up with him.

She hated him.

Finally they reached the ship. Zoro and Robin were standing on deck, and they looked queerly at the couple.

"Nami?"

"Nami-chan?"

"Has the log pose set?"

Nami looked dull at him.

"Nami has the log pose set?"

"What?"

He turned to her, and the same look on the face as before made her sober up, a bit. He looked down at her arms and his eyes grew as he saw she wasn't wearing it. He grabbed her shoulders and started to shake her.

"You lost our log pose?"

"It's not lost captain."

Luffy, still holding Nami, looked at Robin. She was holding the log pose in her hand.

"It was on her nightstand. I guess she was afraid to lose it or something."

He let go of her, and his arms fell down his side like dead meat. Nami took a step back and pointed, or tried to, at the log pose.

"Keep that away from me."

Then she turned around, fell, and threw up again.

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's drunk."

Luffy didn't look at her. Zoro looked like a question mark, knowing quite well how much alcohol it would have needed to get her like this.

"Is the log pose set?"

"I believe it is captain."

"Get her on board. We're leaving."

He got on board without looking at her. Nami followed him with her eyes, before turning away and getting, a bit awkward, to her feet. She had just managed as Zoro was standing next to her.

"I can walk self."

"You're drunk."

"And so?"

She hated him just as much as she hated Luffy. He tried to grab her but she just pulled away, and fell down.

She hated him so much.

"Get up."

"Why?"

"Because your captain has ordered it."

Nami looked down, and thou she didn't want. Thou she hated him. She got to her feet, locked her knees, and walked over to the boat. She could feel how near he was to her, how he was watching over her.

She hated him.

Her arms hit the deck before her feet did. Then the rest of her body. Zoro just let her lie there, and just helped the ship start to sail. When they where off Robin walked over to the girl still lying there. She pulled the girl up, not caring that she tried to protest, and got her to bed.