Chapter One

McGee scratched at his hand. It itched and there was a little red spot. He peered at it wondering if it was some sort of insect bite. Maybe that was why he was feeling a bit weird. Not weird as such maybe he was coming down with something?

He had been fine this morning. It had been a pretty slow morning and he and Tony had gone to poke around some research laboratory and ask some questions. The company contracted out to the Navy for … well something (no one was being very specific in answering their questions) and the Director had received a vague heads up from Homeland Security. Some general chatter coming from some unspecific sources had mentioned the company and one of its projects – possibly.

It was all very 'need to know' and Tony and McGee apparently didn't need to know. Although how they were expected to do their jobs without knowing what it was they were supposed to be asking about, McGee would never know.

He suddenly felt a flash of irrational anger about the whole thing and then as soon as it had appeared it was gone. McGee took a deep breath and considered himself. Weird. He had a soapy taste in the back of his mouth which he had only just noticed and that normally meant he was coming down with a cold. He also felt a bit hot but that could be due to him still wearing his trench coat. Had he simply forgotten to take it off? Weird.

They had been working hard lately, case after unrelenting case. Maybe he was just worn down. He really didn't want to take a day off sick just because he was feeling a bit 'off'

His thoughts seemed to be bouncing around in his head and he was feeling increasingly unsettled, and hot and consequently sweaty.

Suddenly Gibbs was back and he said …. Something. McGee had looked at him and saw his mouth move but for an instant it was like his hearing had just gone offline or something. He stared at Gibbs and watched as Tony and Ziva grabbed their gear and headed to the elevator. Whatever it was they were all meant to go. McGee grabbed his stuff and headed towards the elevator, one finger stuck in his ear as if to clear some mystery obstruction.

It seemed a moment later and McGee was stuck in the car on their way somewhere. He seemed to be having trouble concentrating on the details. He was sure he was told and he even had the sensation he had nodded his response but he found he didn't care.

It shocked him briefly that he didn't care. It seemed very important to a part of him that he should care but right now he didn't care. He didn't even care that he was in the back seat. He always got stuck with the back seat.

Suddenly all that mattered was the sun was shining, he was with his friends and he was happy. He couldn't remember when he had felt so happy. He felt overcome with a sense of satisfaction with his life. He was healthy, young, fit, doing a job that both mattered and that he loved. He had a family that cared about him, he had money in the bank, a Porsche in the car park and a date on the Friday night. Everything was suddenly right with the world and every anxiety, every insecurity that seemed to chatter constantly to him in the background of his mind just slipped away.

Tim watched the pretty trees as they drove past, the children playing in the school grounds and heard a dog bark playfully at its owner. He could smell cookies baking and he was sure he could hear a surprise birthday present being wrapped with a big red ribbon. Someone out there saw their true love for the first time just in that instant. He sighed and smiled out the window allowing himself to wallow in the rapture of being alive.

Tony watched McGee carefully. He was acting, well weird. He had been a bit vacant before and now he seemed so contented he was positively beaming…. At nothing. If he got any happier he looked like he was going to stick his head out the window and feel the breeze against his face like a dog. It was unnerving seeing Probie so happy. There was a certain constant nervous tension about him that seemed to keep him on his feet. It kept him asking the difficult questions, kept him pushing himself to do the things he didn't really want to do. Without it McGee seemed very young and carefree and possibly drunk?

Tony wasn't sure what was wrong only that something was. Call it his gut. Could he say anything? How about 'Boss, McGee is currently too happy I think he should be taken off this investigation?' Yeah that sounded right.

McGee suddenly turned around, his big green eyes moist. 'Tony, Tony I just saw the most beautiful flower! It was like the most perfect flower in the world.' He smiled at Tony delighted 'I'm glad I saw it with you' and then he turned around and stared entranced out the window again, this time putting both his hands up onto the glass.

Ok THAT was definitely not standard Probie behavior. Still Tony held his tongue. Maybe it was a bet? Maybe Abby and Ziva had put McGee up to something to get him in trouble with Gibbs. Ahh that could be it. He smiled smugly. McGee had been fine this morning so that had to be it. You had to get up pretty early in the morning to get Anthony DiNozzo.

McGee felt his stomach clench and his head whirled making him feel a bit dizzy and sick. He was hot again, sweaty hot. He pulled open his shirt collar some more and wriggled and took his jacket off.

'What?' DiNozzo was staring at him. DiNozzo always seemed to be staring at him, touching him, teasing him. He was not some stupid toy to be left upside down in the dirty sand pit when Tony ran off to play with the cool kids. All the happy feelings of a moment ago drained away leaving him feeling exhausted and cold. He shivered a little and glared at Tony.

'Stop looking at me!' McGee felt irrationally angry at Tony. He knew it was irrational but he couldn't seem to help himself.

'Tony stop looking at McGee' Gibbs called over his shoulder smirking at his two agents in the back.

'But Boss I wasn't!' Tony protested surprised at the sudden reversal of mood from McGee.

McGee surprised him again when he stuck his tongue out at him and pulled a mean face screwing his nose up.

That was it, something was definitely up.

'Ah Boss something is really wrong with McGee. He just stuck his tongue out at me'

Gibbs sighed and glanced across at Ziva sitting in the passenger seat, who was trying to hide the smirk on her face. Gibbs swore to himself. He felt like he was rounding up kids sometime instead of adult professional highly trained agents.

'McGee don't stick your tounge out at Tony. Even if he has done something to deserve it.'

'Hey!' Tony protested again. Alright so generally it was him doing something to McGee and he did deserve it but this time he was innocent. McGee smirked at Tony before suddenly shivering and looking up at Tony with a lost, confused look on his face.

'Are you ok buddy? Tony leaned across and put a hand on his arm, seeing the slight sheen of sweat across McGee's brow as he turned.

'Don't touch me Tony! Stop touching me. I don't like it!' McGee snapped his eyes suddenly angry again.

Tony reared back 'Hey wear a mood ring why don't you McGee so we know what's going on with you'

"Hey you two! Cut that out right now. Sort it out whatever it is and get your heads back on the case" Gibbs was angry now his patience with them worn thin. He stared back at them, his blue eyes reflecting in the rear vision mirror.

McGee sulked in the corner, the voices in his head screaming different things to him. What was he doing? He had felt so happy a moment before and now he just felt angry, no depressed, no cold. Was he sick? Deranged? He wasn't sure what was going on only that he couldn't seem to concentrate on any one thing in order to clearly think about it.

Except for one thing.

He wanted to kick Tony. Hard.

He didn't know why he wanted to kick Tony but he did. There seemed to be a new voice in his head. And it was growing louder and more insistent. McGee allowed himself to consider the option. Where would he kick Tony? In the leg. Easy. Why would he kick Tony in the leg? To piss him off. Why did he want to piss him off? That didn't seem so clear to voice but it assured him that it would soon.

The voice was soothing and hypnotic. It reminded McGee of thick golden honey running off a warm spoon which would pool briefly on Ziva's bare stomach and then drizzle down her warm tanned sides. Woah! Where did that thought come from? Ziva and honey?

McGee shook his head trying to clear the suddenly crystal clear vision of Ziva laying naked across his bed while he dribbled honey over her. It left and McGee felt suddenly colder for it. He shivered again and felt the anger return. Why was he doing this? He should be doing something useful not stuck in the back of this car going God knows where for some reason only Gibbs could fathom and would never tell them.

McGee contemplated his new universe and the different options presented by the voices in his head. He could see them rolling outwards into infinity, each tiny decision having its own small consequence which would build on another until his personal future was born.

He considered carefully and then……

Kicked Tony.

Hard in the leg.

'Hey!' Tony cried out as McGee kicked him and then sat back grinning as if watching to see what he would do

Gibbs swore as it seemed like a scuffle was going to break out in the back seat of the car. He braked hard and pulled over to the side of the road in a cloud of dust. He ripped off his seatbelt and climbed out before wrenching open the car door and hauling McGee out.

'Now what the hell is going on!'

Tony and Ziva had scrambled out and all four stood on the side of the quiet road and looked at each other.

McGee stood and watched as a pretty bee flew in lazy circles behind Gibbs head. Swoop, dip, zip, back, whee, swoop. He wondered if he was a bee if he would fly like that. He being who he was would probably fly fairly straight but not as fast as some of the bees but he would get his bee things done. Maybe this bee was on its way to make some honey? The honey that later he could pour over Ziva? He wished the bee well and hoped that he would make really sweet honey. He noticed that Gibbs seemed to be saying something to him very loudly that he couldn't understand but it was hurting his ears. They seemed very sensitive at the moment. He put his hands up to his ears then changed his mind and put them over his eyes and found that they shut out the light that had been making him squint. Did bees squint? He didn't think so but he must remember to ask a bee specialist when he met them. It seemed very important. What was the name of a bee specialist? He seemed to think he did know it but couldn't remember at the moment.

Gibbs had started shouting at McGee looking for answers when he noticed he wasn't even paying attention. He had a vacant look on his face and seemed to be looking at something behind him. Then McGee had put his hands over his eyes and just stood there with a sad sort of smile on his face.

Was McGee playing some sort of peek a boo with him? Gibbs stepped forward and pulled his agents hands down away from his eyes. Suddenly McGee came to life and wrenched his arms away from Gibbs.

'Don't touch me! I told you not to touch me!' McGee stood there trembling with anger, staring at them when suddenly the trembling became almost continuous and he swayed. Gibbs suddenly noticed how pale and sweaty McGee was. Gibbs reached McGee just as he crumpled into an untidy heap on the dusty ground.

Gibbs sighed and pushed away McGee's sweaty fringe as he found himself inadvertently cradling his agents head in his lap.

'McGee why didn't you tell us you weren't feeling well and you were running a fever?'

'I am?' McGee blinked up at him in confusion processing the world being sideways and lower than it had been only a moment before.

'Yes McGee. Since you seemed ok this morning it looks like maybe some nasty virus or even the flu. We are going to go back and you are going to go home and go to bed you hear?'.

McGee just nodded and found himself hoping that Ziva would come and help him up so he could run his hands over her. Ok he was definitely sick.