Official dispatch from Amaxing Fan Fiction Inc
This is just to say…
Writing the first Gorgon Zolo… it took a lot out of me as a writer…
I have nothing left… absolutely nothing…
So despite the generous amount of positive reviews…
It pains me to say this, but…
I will no longer write any more Gorgon Zolo stories…
I'm sorry if the ending to the last one was misleading
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OBJECTION!
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Amaxing Fan Fiction Inc…
With support from viewers like you…
Proudly presents…
GORGON ZOLO…. THE MUSICAL!!!!
(Dainty show tune music plays)
Zoro: I…object…to everything
That you…say…EVERYTHING
Cause in…there…SOMETHING'S
A LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE
I know that in….there…somewhere's
A contradiction SOMEWHERE
And when I POINT OUT WHERE
You'll CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Witness: That I knew the time?
Zoro: Everything
Witness: That I didn't lie?
Zoro: Everything
Witness: That my statements rhyme?
Zoro: Everything
Witness: THAT I DID THE CRIME?
Zoro: Damn straight you did
I'd… risk… anything
To prove this…ANYTHING
Cause I…object…to EVERYTHING
Witness: Everything?
Zoro: Everything…you say!
OBJECTION!
Sanji couldn't take the pressure anymore. He jumped onto the table, crawled across it on his belly toward the green-haired swordsman, and…
OBJECTION!
Franky: No way! You're seriously, like, a cyborg?
Kuma: Like, totally, like, why are you, like asking?
Franky: Because I'm like, totally a cyborg too!
Kuma: OMG! No! Way!
Franky: Yeah, I know!
Kuma: We should, like, totally make out!
Franky: OMG! Let's do it!
OBJECTION! (A/n: If I see any Franky/Kuma pairings now, I'm shooting myself.)
"All the evidence points to one thing!" yelled Zoro, arms placed on his hips. "Crocodile!"
"YOU ARE REALLY A WOMAN!"
"Urgh…. Ugh…" muttered Crocodile. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
OBJECTION!
"THIS IS MADNESS!" Yelled Skyler, pulling at his perfect blue hair.
"Madness?" taunted Amaxing "This is fanfiction!"
"Why? Why are you writing a story like this?"
"I'm not."
"…?" Skyler was puzzled.
"Think about it, Sky, look at the evidence and tell me. How can what I just said be true?"
Skyler thought, then…
TAKE THAT!
"Section 5 subsection c of the AFFI handbook states that every chapter in every story must begin with a disclaimer!" He slammed the desk (Where did the desk come from?). "ERGO! None of this…"
"HAS ANYTHING TO SO WITH THE STORY!!!!!"
Amaxing clapped. "Job well done Sky, job well done."
"Does this mean I get to be a main character?"
"Just start the story."
"Oh…."
Disclaimer:
I COULD NEVER HOPE TO
I COULD NEVER HOPE TO OWN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU
COULD NEVER HOPE TO OWN YOU
WILL NEVER OWN ONE PIECE OR CAPCOM, THROW ALL YOUR HANDS UP
NO!
COULD NEVER OWN
COULD NEVER OWN
COULD NEVER OWN YOU! (Awesome guitar riff)
Gorgon Zolo: Trial By Fire
Thousand Suns. 8/18. 7:06 pm.
Lightning flashed outside the Thousand Suns. The ship rocked violently back and forth, and its passengers were thrown about on the waves like rag dolls. A shrill cry of pain echoed from beneath the deck, sending shivers down the spines of all on board.
"I….I CAN'T!!!! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY MORE!!!!"
"ZORO! DON'T GIVE UP! DON'T YOU QUIT ON ME NOW!!!"
"Nami… stop…. I just… I WANT TO DIE!!!! LET ME BE!!!"
"I'M NOT LETTING YOU QUIT, YOU HEAR ME? YOU'RE STAYING RIGHT HERE!!!"
"no…."
"YES!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!! FOCUS!!!!"
"I…. I'll try…."
"THAT'S IT!!! DON'T GIVE IN NOW! HOLD OUT!!!" She took a deep breath, and then held up a slip of paper. "Alright Zoro… what…. Does 'double jeopardy' mean?"
"That's…. that's where a person… can't be put on trial for the same crime twice? Right?"
"YES! YOU DID IT!!!!" Nami struck a victory pose. "See? I knew you could do it the whole time!" She began to dance around the room. Zoro, exhausted, slumped against the wall, and began talking to himself.
My name is Roronoa Zoro. Up until a few weeks ago, the crew knew me as a feared swordsman and a stoic first mate. But then that trial happened, and ever since they've decided to give me a new title.
Flashback
"IT'S FINISHED!" yelled Usopp triumphantly.
"What? What's going on?" asked Zoro. He was blindfolded, being led to the deck by Nami.
"You're going to love it, trust me" assured Nami. She took the blindfold off. "TADA!!"
Zoro stood in front of his cabin; his jaw dropped wide open in shock. On his door, Usopp had painted a silhouette of him with his pointer finger outstretched; below this read the words "Gorgon Zolo: Ace Attorney."
"Pretty good, huh?" smiled Usopp. At least, he would have said that, had Zoro not leapt on him and begun strangling him.
"WHAT! DID! YOU! DO! TO! MY! DOOR!!!!" he screamed.
"But… it looks so cool!" pleaded Nami.
"Does not!"
"Does too!"
"Does NOT!"
"DOES
TOO!"
OBJECTION!
"Can't hide it forever, Zoro. You're a lawyer." She made an 'hmph' sound, and walked away.
"can I…. have my…. breathing…privileges…back now...?" came Usopp's choked voice.
"NO."
"…fine…"
End Flashback.
Yeah. Don't worry; I didn't kill Usopp. Not yet.
From the deck of the ship, Usopp's scream could be heard. "AGH! ZORO'S GONNA KILL MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!'
Mind reading gag…still being used… must… escape…
Anyway, over the past few weeks, Nami has decided she's going to be my 'legal aide' and started telling me to study up on law. Normally, I wouldn't go that kind of thing, but… she bribed me with having me debt paid off… at least, part of it anyway. And the rest, as they say, is hell. Err… I mean, history.
"LAND HO!" yelled Franky from the crow's nest.
"Already?" asked Nami "We're only on the first chapter!"
"We didn't even have a ship scene in the last story, remember?" reminded Franky.
"Ah, true."
"So… what island are we at this time?" asked Zoro.
"Lets see… it says here… Nitonnec"
"Are you kidding me? Can't it have a normal name like Spring Fields or…"
"It's Nitonnec."
"Fine…"
Nitonnec Square. 8/18. 8:03 pm.
The island of Nitonnec was horseshoe-shaped. The majority of the island met the sea as sharp cliffs and hills. In the east, however, these cliffs faded down into a sandy beach; where ships docked. From this beach, a path led to the center of the island, Nitonnec Square (you know how European countries usually have large plazas in their major cities? Picture that), one of the largest ports in the area.
"We'd best find some place to stay, it's getting late" said Sanji.
"MEAT FIRST! THEN SLEEP!!!" cried you-know-who.
"We just ate half an hour ago…"
"MEAT FIRST! THEN SLEEP!!!"
"I don't know," pondered Brooke "it would be nice to rest my BODY somewhere other than that hammock! YOHOHO!!!"
"You really need to get a better line, man," said Chopper.
"That's be SUPER!" agreed Franky.
Chopper stared at Franky as the five of them went off.
"Well then… I suppose we could look around a bit before dinner…" mused Zoro.
"Yeah! Where should we go?"
"How about the courthouse?" offered Robin.
Nami's face lit up, while Zoro made slashing motions across his throat.
"What about the courthouse?" asked Nami.
"Nitonnec is world-renowned for it's courthouse, it's one of the biggest and most beautiful in the world."
"You're not just making that up now, are you?" eyed Zoro.
"We're going to the courthouse, Zoro!" cheered Nami.
"Oh c'mon…"
Nitonnec Courthouse. 8/18. 9:16 pm.
"Erm… this… is world renowned?"
A finely-made, golden gate opened up to a large, impressive building that stood on a tall hill; a long, winding dirt path ran gently down the slope, lush and green like a certain lawyer's (Zoro: SWORDMAN'S!) swordsman's hair. That of course, was the judge's house. The courthouse was a small, dingy, gray, stone building with roman columns. A flight of ten broken down steps led to the single chamber within.
Nami stared, mouth agape.
"Robin… lied to us?" asked Nami incredulously. "WHY? What on earth could have possessed her to do something like that?"
"Maybe she got her facts mixed up?" offered Zoro.
"OR MAYBE SHE'S A CONNIVING WITCH-WOMAN!"
"ROBIN-CHAN IS NOT A WITCH WOMAN YOU STUPID MARIMOOOOOOOOOO!" came Sanji's voice from afar.
Zoro sweat dropped. "Why does he always assume it's me?"
There was an eerie silence.
"Do you ever get the feeling that something really bad is going to happen?" asked Zoro.
"You mean like an unfortunate circumstance that will drag us into a problem that isn't ours and that we'll have to work ridiculously hard to solve?"
"Exactly!"
"Never."
MANLY TEARFUL OBJECTION DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNCE!!!!
Zoro and Nami were knocked aside as a police officer carried a woman down the long dirt path and into a cart parked near the gate. Two men came hurtling (and, yet, dancing at the same time) by them in the next instant.
"LET VENKMAN-CHAN ALOOOOOOOOONE!!!!" yelled the one with pink hair.
"OR YOU'LL BE SORRYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!" yelled the one with the goatee.
This is all a bad dream, this is all a bad dream, this is all a bad dream…
Who could these mysterious men be? Who is the lovely Venkman-chan they work so hard to protect? And why am I asking you all these questions? Tune in next time to find out! (Wait, are we seriously in syndication now?)