Just This Once

Lily Evans could feel his penetrating hazel gaze on her as she stared out the window onto the Quidditch Pitch. They were in the Head Common Room with plans to work on head duties, but Lily's mind was elsewhere.

She fancied him. She knew that now. She had fought with everything inside her to just hate him, but it hadn't worked. He was in her mind and her heart and he refused to leave.

She knew he still fancied her. That much was certain. Lily just didn't know what to do about it. They had been friends for three months and she had come to know the real James Potter. The James Potter who was a pretty darn good friend.

Love. The idea of it scared her more than anything she had ever felt. Love. Once it ensnared you, you could only dream of escaping. And love had finally ensnared her. She was caught in its web, the culprit getting closer all the time.

And Lily was helpless to stop these feelings. She wanted the feeling of hopeless addiction. She wanted the very thing she was running from. She wanted love. She wanted James Potter.

She watched as the Slytherin team practiced on the Quidditch Pitch, their brooms moving in a quick blur. She heard footsteps as James approached her. He stopped directly behind her only centimeters away. She desperately wanted to lean back and feel his arms around her. She fought it for only a moment before her body automatically leaned into him. She could feel his warm break on her neck. Her heart sped up as he moved his hands to her waist. For one desperate moment, she couldn't breathe. She let out a small groan and began to step away.

He stopped her tightening his hands on her waist. "Don't," his husky voice said. "Don't fight it…just this once." Don't. That simple word seemed to say so much more. Lily gave in to him, just this once, and leaned her head onto his chiseled chest. She never wanted to move from his arms, she decided.

The silence was stifling. Even so, Lily could hear the sound of the rain pounding and watched the lightening flash in the dark sky. The Slytherin Quidditch team continued to play despite the rain.

"It's raining out," she said softly breaking the silence as his hands traced circles on her side. The need to talk, the need to break the engulfing silence filled her.

"It is," James said simply. There was a momentary pause before he continued. "Lily…" His voice trailed off.

"What, James?" Lily asked turning in his arms. She caught her breath as his hazel eyes watched her without pretense.

They were standing closer than they had ever stood to each other before. Lily wanted him to fill the gap between them. She wanted to feel his lips on hers…just this once. She wanted him more than anything.

She was scared. She was scared of falling in love with him. She was scared of being with him. But above all, she was scared of losing him. She was scared of not being with him.

"James?" Lily repeated. "What?"

He let out a deep sigh and pushed a strand of dark red hair behind her ear. "You have no idea, Lily," he began softly.

"Don't," Lily interrupted. She didn't know what he was about to say, but she didn't think she wanted to hear it.

"Let me finish," he said as she tried to move away. He, once again, tightened his grip on her waist. "Please, Lily. Let me finish."

She nodded simply.

"You have no idea, Lily. You have no idea how much I fancy you," James spoke in a mere whisper, but Lily could hear every word. "All I want is to…spend time with you…to laugh with you…to just be with you. When you were dating Lincoln, all I ever felt was this unexplainably…insane…jealousy." He paused and moved one hand to her face. "All I want if for you to give me a chance. How can you be so sure that we wouldn't work if you won't give me…us…a chance? How can you know that I'm not the one if you can't even give me one date? How can you not stand the idea of me when I can't stand not being with you?"

Lily stepped out of his grasp before she could lose it completely. She turned back to the window. He had no idea about her fancy for him. The thought struck her as strange. He knew her so well, yet he didn't know her true feelings for him.

"You are so far off, James," she murmured.

"What are you talking about, Lils?" he asked, still standing directly behind her. She traced the glass on the window and watched the faint droplets. He leaned against the wall beside her and studied her face. He lifted her chin with one hand and watched as her green eyes met his.

"I know exactly how you feel about me, James," she said. He opened his mouth to argue, but she held up a slender hand to silence him. "I know exactly how you feel about me because I feel exactly the same way about you," she said.

And then she stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his. She could feel his shock before he feverishly kissed her back. For a moment, she wondered if she should pull away. If she continued kissing him, she would never be able to come back from this moment. They couldn't move backwards. They could only move forwards.

He shifted taking control and moving away from the wall. He broke the kiss briefly, but didn't move his hands from her waist. "Lily?"

His grip was tight as if he expected her to run from him, but Lily had no plans to ever run away from again. She smiled softly and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"I didn't want to admit it, James," she said. "But I love you."

The words came easier than she had expected. It wasn't sudden or surprising to her. Their friendship had been building up to this point for months. She had spent so much time with him lately that she couldn't help but fall for him.

She would forever remember the elated grin on his face.

"I never thought I would here those words from you," James whispered. He kissed her again before saying softly. "I love you too, Lily."