I own Molegate and all characters in this commercial!!! WOOT!!! Happily, I don't own Head On.

DUST FLAVORED TOOTHPASTE

Derek was just an average thirteen-year-old. He went to school, (Half of the times) got F's, and hated everything. Typical. He was in his room listening to music whe-

"What the! Where is that stupid voice coming from?" He asked blankly.

Hey! Kid, you better not be talking about my voice! I'm trying to narrate here!

"Do I look like I care?!"

Well… No.

"Then shut up!"

Fine by me I get paid either way.

"Wait! We're getting paid?"

Yea…

"Well, narrate! How much?"

Uhhh, you said 'I'm' getting paid right? Cause, you aren't. You're just a test subject.

Derek stood up, faced the ceiling and yelled at the top of his lungs, "SCREW YOU!!!!!!!"

Can we just get on with this? Mr. Hassuchalongnameitisannoyingandmakesmewanttokillyouandanyoneelsethatcomesaccrossmypathandcommitsuicidebutitisstillnotoverwhenwillitindpants jumped out from under Derek's bed.

"Now now. Tsk tsk. Don't talk like that to the narrator. He's really not a bad guy once you get to know him. Hint hint." Said Mr. Hassuchalongnameitisannoyingandmakesmewanttokillyouandanyoneelsethatcomesaccrossmypathandcommitsuicidebutitisstillnotoverwhenwillitindpant.

"Ugh! So what? You want to sell me car insurance, or is it Head On? Cause if it is, LET ME HAVE IT!!!! I love those commercials! HEAD ON. APPLY DIRECTLEY TO THE FOREHEAD. HEAD ON. APPLY DIRECTLEY TO THE FOREHEAD. HEAD ON. APPLY DIRECTLEY TO THE FOREHEAD.

Shut up! Like I said-typical… No, we want to advertise to you… Dust Flavored Toothpaste by Molegate!

Mr. Hassuchalongnameitisannoyingandmakesmewanttokillyouandanyoneelsethatcomesaccrossmypathandcommitsuicidebutitisstillnotoverwhenwillitindpants burst into song. " DUST FLAVORED TOOTHPASTE! IT TASTES LIKE DUST! YOU SHOULD BUY IT; IT'S A MUST! IF YOU DON'T WANT IT, YOU SHOULD! YOU COULD GO BUY IT, YOU COULD!!!!! Not responsible for moles, blisters, cysts, cuts, pimples, warts, bruises, or ingrown hairs on your upper or lower lip, or anywhere on the inside of your mouth. If swallowed it will explode within two seconds. Not meant for cleaning teeth."

Uhhh, I thought you weren't going to say that last part. The people don't want to hear that.

"Sorry, I had to say that, we could have gotten sued."

Oh, oh well. So kid, what do you think? You gonna buy some?

"No."

… Uhhh… Well I don't really know what to say. Out of the blue a bullet tears through Derek's skin. Thanks Steve. Sooo, I guess we're done here. Off to the next house. We fly away on our magical carpets into the green sky.