Sorry for the ridiculously long time between updates, thats what happens when writers block sets in. But luckily its gone now and I have the holidays to work on it so I promise a few more chapters will be out majorly quickly. Review with feedback please :D

Want to say a quick thank you to users who have stuck with the story despite my erratic updates - Emptyspaces, Daenotsu, EmotionallyConstipated (what a name ;)) Love you all for the support XX

Sakura held her breath in anticipation though not out of conscious choice. She physically couldn't breathe with the weight of the tension surrounding them, a spark of electricity in the air like before a big thunderstorm emanating like waves from the man beside her. Sasuke had opened his eye after sighing at the very moment she had looked up and their eyes had locked immediately. Sasuke starred straight back at her, his stare sending shocks through her like nothing or no one had ever done before.

"I didn't want to get you involved in this Sakura. This was my last resort," he said without looking away. Sakura wasn't even aware that she had stopped healing his hands from the distraction he was causing. Sasuke did notice however and did he not want to put her back on the defence he might have laughed at her quietly. He had this effect on most women, the kind of magnetic pull that mesmerised them. He wasn't egotistic in his assessment, it annoyed him more than anything which was why he had been so surprised that Sakura had seemed to be impervious to this. But now it was obvious that she had been trying to fight off that pull. It made sense now why she was so aggressive with him to start with. And now what he had to tell her would make her do the same all over again, the worst result being her expelling him from her life. He fought the impulse to sigh again, turned away from Sakura's penetrating gaze as to stare straight at the wall ahead of him and began.

"It all started when I... I guess...killed is the word I need to use," Sasuke said trying to ignore Sakura's flinch. "When I killed Orochimaru. I gathered a small force of strong shinobi and formed a team. We did things I'm not proud of Sakura and I hope you won't make me regale you with them," Sasuke said, his voice sounding tired, his defeated tone made Sakura sure that he would tell her if she pressed him. However Sakura was pretty sure she would survive not knowing his activities whilst he was AWOL and would probably sleep better for not knowing too. She surveyed Sasuke and his focus-less trance on the opposite wall. It was then that Sakura felt all her previous convictions fall apart, Sasuke being the bad guy, him being the traitor all the villagers portrayed him as. She should have known better than that, she had claimed to be in love with him at one point. How fickle and shallow had she been? Sakura practically flinched at the memory of her former self. She also flinched at the memory of herself only a few days ago. Scared of him, threatening him! She should have known better then too, the ordeal he'd gone through, the emotional strain that he had been put under. Neither Naruto nor she had really understood at the time, barely on the brink of puberty. She had been more concerned with winning his heart than knowing what was really going on inside it.

Sasuke slumped forward to rest his elbows on his knee in a heavy defeated motion; his head hung lower than before. He seemed to be faltering in his drive to carry on explaining and Sakura's response was automatic. She reached out her hand and placed it over the top of his gently. He turned slowly to look at her again, his eyes portraying perfectly how torn he was. Sakura tried to smile at him reassuringly but his eyes made her feel like a bad person for forcing the story out of him. His eyes were full of anguish and another emotion she couldn't quite peg. Was it remorse or maybe guilt? She didn't know but she decided that it was a demon that would consume him if he did not release it, she felt a small swell of happiness that she would be the person to do that for him.

"It's alright Sasuke," she said trying to put on her reassuring compassionate voice she had acquired in her medical years, though to Sakura it sounded wrong. Maybe the realness of the situation made it hard to detach herself, she knew deep down no matter how hard she tried she would always have a soft spot for the Uchiha. Sakura moved herself down the bed so that the length of her body was pressed against Sasuke, providing support in more than one sense if he needed it. "I promise I won't judge you ," she reassured. Sakura swore she saw his frown deepen, it that were at all possible, the lines it drew into his face seemed deep and aged him prematurely. He didn't look his twenty years at all in that moment. He had the weight of a sixty year old man on his shoulders.

"You might want to reserve that judgement until after I'm done," he said sombrely before taking a deep breath and continuing. "My team and I were eradicating the scars that he had left, starting in the Sound Country and then searching other regions for the die hard followers as you like to call them," Sasuke chided though the expletive under his breath was not lost on her. "Orochimaru's reach had extended far further than we had ever imagined," Sasuke continued with great effort. Sakura leant over and placed her other hand on Sasuke's shoulder reassuringly.

"It's alright Sasuke you don't have to explain anymore," Sakura said gently, seeing the toll it was taking on him. Sasuke shrugged off her hand which took her aback; she dropped the hand instantly, the ripples of a dulled ancient pain finding its way to the surface again but she merely smiled through it as she had become accustomed.

"I don't deserve your compassion," he said gravely. "You should be disgusted by me and my actions."

"That's not true," she said simply, so sure of her convictions. In all the years people in the village had whispered on about the traitor the Uchiha was, Sakura had not truly believed it. Not in her heart of hearts. Sure when he first arrived she had reacted like anyone else would have, shocked and defensive. But how else is a woman supposed to act when a mysterious man turns up on your front door after breaking their hearts so many years ago. Sakura wished she had acted differently in those first moments he returned to her life then maybe he would have trusted her a little more now. So many hours wasted imagining it, so many dreams spent perfecting the reunion. And she had wasted it by making him feel unwelcome. Well not anymore she decided. In the face of his previous, albeit minute rejection, Sakura ventured out again and placed her hand over his softly.

"You were trying to undo all the wrong he did, you're the good guy," Sakura said almost pleadingly. Sasuke merely scoffed,

"We'll agree to disagree here I guess," he said with a slight dark chuckle in his voice. "A few months down the line, we reached the Lightning Country where we discovered that Orochimaru had control of several officials higher up in the Raikage's council. Even though he was dead, his will was still in action, that's why we did what we had to. Their actions, whilst under the radar, were abominable. Orochimaru had set up several laboratories disguised as orphanages deep in the Lightning Country," Sasuke said quickly, his fists clenching ever so slightly as he continued. "It was arranged that children would be sent to these... "centres" if you like. If you've seen the inside of the Sound base, it doesn't require a great leap of deduction to understand their purpose," Sasuke said, disgust dripping from his voice.

"What happened?" Sakura's voice finally came back, perilously close to breaking.

"It's not good Sakura," he warned dropping his hand. Sakura steeled her nerves and braced herself for whatever was coming; she nodded sharply indicating him to continue, not fully trusting her voice.

"Orochimaru's scientists were manipulating their bodies, experimenting with Kekeigenkai to create the perfect body. The perfect shell..." Sasuke broke off there, seemingly unable to continue. "We killed people, the diehard followers as you called them, of Orochimaru. We destroyed them and their work. All those who were carrying on with his "projects," he said, spitting out the last word like it was made of acid. Sakura merely nodded, she was no stranger to death. But try as she might she kept picturing the childrens' faces and a deep chill ran through her. Sasuke saw her shiver and sighed deeply, standing slowly. Sakura's eyes followed him as he walked away from her, purposefully putting distance between them as he leant against the wall in with his arms crossed, his usual laid back yet guarded manner.

"I saw that," he said gruffly. Sakura kept her eyes on him, meeting his stare.

"Saw what?" she asked.

"Your shiver. I told you before, you should be disgusted by me. Glad to see you finally understand. I don't deserve your welcome, why do you think people call me a traitor?" he said with a hint of aggression. Sakura stood swiftly and walked right back up to him, less than a few steps away.

"I wasn't judging you!" she said defensively.

"Then you obviously don't understand," he said turning his gaze away. Sakura however cut him off and moved round in a flash to stare him down.

"You think I don't get it? I'm sure you still think I'm still that starry eyed kid who thinks you can do no wrong," she said, her eyes penetrating and captivating his. "Well you're wrong.... I understand. I understand better than most that you were faced with something that no shinobi should ever have to be, taking responsibility for the lives you effect. I've seen it Sasuke..."

"I've killed hundreds of children Sakura!" he yelled. Sakura did not react to his words; she merely breathed, remained still and starred into his eyes unwavering. He stared at her incredulously, how could she stand there so passively? Did she understand and still not care or was there something he wasn't seeing? Her face gave nothing away, she just watched him flounder in confusion. Enraged he darted forward and grabbed her upper arms,

"Stop being so accepting!" he yelled at her, causing her to flinch back slightly from the force of his speech. "I'm an apathetic killer! All I can do is eradicate life!" He starred at her, his eyes wide, the deep purple circles underneath them more prominent suddenly.

"You're not!" she yelled back finally meeting his match. Suddenly Sakura saw his eyes flash red and then everything around her fell away. She no longer felt Sasuke's grasp on her arms, no longer felt the hardwood floor beneath her bear feet. Suddenly colour burst around her, an explosion of darkness and huge flames around her. She found herself stood in a vast dark smoky courtyard with high walls all around her, the dryness of the air burning her throat and eyes. A rancid stench struck Sakura and she clamped her hand over her mouth to keep from vomiting. She looked around quickly, panic and fear bubbling up inside of her while she tried to ascertain where she was. She turned quickly and suddenly a wave of heat knocked her back off her feet and to the wet ground. She threw up her hands to guard her from the heat of the flames which she could now see were frenziedly consuming the enormous building before her. The billowing smoke twisted violently and Sakura starred at the hypnotic flames, barely hearing the screams erupting from inside. Then something caught her eye, a dark figure walking towards her from out of the building, the smoke whipping around them menacingly blurring their face.

Suddenly flashing images ripped through and immobilised her. Memories running wild through her mind, the faces of petrified children, the hundreds upon hundreds of jars of indistinguishable things floating in formaldehyde which burnt your throat as you inhaled the horrific flashes of images of the torture chambers in the Sound lair. Her own memories bit back at her bitterly and Sakura was suddenly transported back, back almost twelve months to the mission, the only mission that hade ever trully scarred her. She was once again walking down the dank corridors, the sounds of her footsteps echoing off the weeping walls. Flashing images crashed over her and the chill of the cells crept up her skin, nausea doing the same to her stomach. Sakura didn't even realise that she was shaking until she found it hard to breath. All the time the figure was moving towards her through the smoke screen and his face was almost visible. In a sudden act of desperate panic, a plea to make it stop Sakura tried to pull chakra to her hands, failing to get a grasp on anything from inside her. She starred forward, seeing the figure almost upon her and panic rising up inside of her and she thrust her hands up one final time with a scream of panic. Instantly everything around her vanished, the blistering heat replaced with a light breeze tickling her exposed cheek and the air smelt clean once more. Suddenly she felt a cool and light pressure on her cheek, the feel of rough, calloused skin against hers brought her back from her nightmare. She gasped and lurched forward, feeling her chest heave and hyperventilating from shook her head slightly, still not fully in control of her body. Sasuke starred at her for a few moments and then dropped his gaze as he loosened his grip on her; if he had hurt her she never let on. Sakura let her legs slacken beneath her and she slid down the wall with her shoulder for support, her head hanging low trying to regain her breath. He followed her gently down, keeping his grasp on her just in case.

"Sakura," he said gently. The sound of his voice rang through her and she finally breathed deeply before coming back to herself fully. She lifted her head weakly and looked up at him starring at her with what she deduced was a worried expression. His face didn't accommodate worry well, his usually stoic brows not used to creasing and it looked strange on him. The odd details she noticed almost made her smile in amusement but this time it did not feel funny.

"You are never to use that on me again," she said in a husky voice that served her threat well. He bowed his head, now further ashamed of himself than before if that was even possible. Suddenly he felt a quivering yet warm hand beneath his chin, gently directing his face up and with no warning Sakura leant in and kissed him. Sasuke was frozen, feeling her soft lips pressed against his yet being stunned beyond reciprocation. She pulled back slowly and looked him in the face,

"If that shuts you up for long enough, you might want to listen to what I know about you," she said quite bluntly. "When my squad discovered Orochimaru's lair we discovered a few survivors left behind to die. One of those included a young child no older than seven," she managed with a still shaky voice. "She managed to tell us she survived the Lightning Country and that she wished she hadn't." Sakura paused for a moment, the memory of her stinging.

"He mutated those children within an inch of their lives," she said. "We had to quite literally put the girl euthanize the girl out of mercy, she was just..." Sakura said, shivering violently from the memory before not being able to say any more. Sakura looked up at him again,

"You saved those children from an abominable life," she insisted. "So stop blaming yourself. You're not a monster," she said raising her hand up to his cheek serenely. Sasuke sighed again and leant in to lean on the wall, exhaustion obvious in his tired eyes. Sakura leant in carefully, trying not to drive him away and rested her forehead against his. His eyes were closed but still worried looking. Her voice drifted over as her sweet breath warmed his cold face,

"They forgive you," she said. His eyes opened suddenly, his brows stitched in the middle and his whole body rigid suddenly. Sakura had the faintest smile on her lips and her face was a picture of serenity. She remembered the little girl's last words, the ones she had just given back to him like she ad promised. And it was then when the tortured look fell away from Sasuke's face into a peaceful half-smile did Sakura realise that that was what he had needed all along. Not judgement or repulsion like he had been searching for form her, but forgiveness. To be released from the guilty he felt; it was then that Sakura knew he was back. Well and truly returned from the dark place he had run away to for so many years. Sasuke closed his eyes again and sighed, a half laugh half stifled sob breaking away as well. He leant forward and leant his head against Sakura's shoulder, perfectly comfortable for them both.

Please review :D Kenners