Disclaimer! OMG!: By reading this story you may think I'm insane, and maybe feel bad for me. Don't feel bad for me. I have doctors I go to that make the craziness feel better. Also, I don't own the Naruto characters, but I thought that was obvious.
Neji's Worst Nightmare
Typical Monday morning scenario. Everyone in Konoha got up, feeling grumpy and wishing they could brutally commit an obscene act of murder on their alarm clocks. Since we all know that alarm clocks technically can't be murdered because they are inanimate objects, they had to settle for hitting the snooze button.
It had been a regular day for Neji. He had snoozed for five minutes about four times, and ate frozen waffles for breakfast. He trained with Tenten in the afternoon, and had to spar with Lee in the evening. He had ironed the Main House's laundry and put their dishes in the dishwasher. But something about this Monday felt wrong to Neji.
"Hinata!" Neji whined. "I feel sick!"
Hinata came to see her cousin, who was sprawled on the couch and looking miserable. She felt his forehead and took his temperature. "You seem fine to me, Neji." She said. "Um, maybe you're just, ah, tired."
Neji sighed, but figured she was right. "Okay, I'll go get some rest." Said Neji. Then he went to his room and shut the door, retreating to his bed and falling asleep quickly. He expected the feeling to go away overnight, but something was happening to him.
"Mwahahahahaha!" Said a tiny voice. "Victory shall be ours!"
"Silence, you fool! Or else he'll hear us!"
Neji rolled over in his sleep. The two voices were relieved and continued with their evil plotting.
The next day, there was a high pitched scream from the Hyuuga mansion.
People could hear it from across Konoha.
It woke up the Sand Siblings in the desert.
It bothered the sleeping members of the Akatsuki.
It reached Orochimaru in the Sound Village and hurt his ears.
It made aliens from another planet look up from their breakfast cereal.
"Neeg Gaklulu Hikikikiolugorgh?"
"Wakahimijooshqx!"
Then, an elderly man that was standing right outside the Hyuuga mansion yelled, "TURN DOWN THAT RACKETY ROCK N ROLL MUSIC!"
Anyway, it was pretty darn loud.
"What's wrong, Nej-OH MY GOD." Said Hinata.
Over the course of the night, Neji had grown Lee-sized eyebrows.
"How did this happen?" Sobbed Neji. "Why is destiny so cruel?"
"Erm… why don't you… shave it off?"
Tears brimmed in Neji's eyes. "I tried that!" He explained. "But they just grow back bushier!" He hid his face in his hands. "I'm a freak! An ugly freak!" Neji began to smack his face into the table, screaming and making strange gurgling sounds.
"It's okay, Neji." Hinata said. "I bet people won't think that! You're a good-looking freak!"
Neji was not comforted by that.
"What am I gonna do? I have to go to Tenten's today for projectile target practice! How can I show my face with these… these… caterpillars eating my face?"
"Um… I'm not sure, Neji… maybe, maybe you'll be able to come up with something. I believe in you." Hinata left Neji to his thoughts, and he scowled as a good idea refused to come to him. He was running out of time. Sighing, Neji hung his head and went to meet Tenten.
"Neji, you're a little late today. Is something wrong?" Tenten asked, her voice filled with concern. Neji had yet to lift his head, and his eyebrows were not yet visible.
"Oh, I just… I, uh…"
"C'mon, Neji. It's okay. You can tell me anything, I promise!"
Neji's eyes were still trained on the ground. "I… it's… well, it's embarrassing…"
Tenten smiled, trying to look a little comforting. "I promise, I won't laugh!" She vowed. "It can't be too bad!"
"What can't be too bad?" Gai-Sensei had just arrived, with his star pupil at his side. "Tenten, what's going on?"
"It's Neji, Gai-Sensei. Something's bothering him." Tenten explained.
"I'M FINE." Neji growled, even though he was still hiding his face. Gai raised an eyebrow. He bent on one knee so he could be more eye-level with his student.
"Neji, what is it?" He asked, his concern genuine.
"He says it's embarrassing." Tenten reported. Neji's face flushed red. Gai, however, remained dead-serious.
"Neji… are you entering the Springtime of Masculinity?"
Neji turned his back away from his teammates, furious. "NO!" He snapped.
"It's okay if you are, Neji." Gai continued, not an ounce of seriousness lost in his tone. "These can be very confusing times for a young man like you. I remember when I was still in my most youthful prime, and there was this youthfully gorgeous kunoichi named Mairi Soo on a different squad-"
"Aurgh!" Neji was about ready to tear his hair out. "It is NOT that kind of problem!" He pointed angrily in Gai and Lee's direction. "It's YOUR fault I'm like this, so leave me alone!"
There was a long awkward stretch of silence. Tenten decided it would be best if she broke it. "Er, Neji…" She began cautiously.
"Hn."
"What do you mean, it was their fault? Neji… look at me…"
Neji, tired of hiding, looked up to see Tenten looking at him. For a moment he couldn't read her expression, and she appeared speechless. Then something happened.
Tenten laughed uncontrollably. She fell over onto her back, clutching her ribs and laughing at the Hyuuga prodigy.
"HAHAHAAHAHAAHOMGHAHAHAHAHAOMGLOOKATYOURFACE!OMGOMGLOL!" And so on.
"SEE? SEE WHAT YOU DID?" Neji spat. "YOU TURNED ME INTO A FREAK! A HIDEOUS FREAK! I LOOK LIKE SUCH A MONSTERWITH THESE HUGE RECTANGLES ON MY FOREHEAD! I'M SUCH A LOSER! I LOOK JUST LIKE YOU!" He sobbed.
"Well that was nice of you to say." Said Lee, but Neji wasn't listening. He stood there, fuming, listening as Tenten's laugher died away. He thought that she had finally got a hold of herself, but soon realized that she had merely passed out. He sighed.
"Neji…"
"Wha?"
"Listen to us…"
"Who are you?"
"We… are the EYEBROWS!"
"What the heck? You can talk? Eyebrows can't talk!"
"Oh, but yes we can!"
"This is ridiculous." Neji said. He turned to see if Gai and Lee had noticed he was talking to himself, but the two green beasts seemed to be looking off into space, trapped in their own little worlds.
"They cannot hear you now…" The little voice chuckled.
"What?"
"Maito Gai and Rock Lee are both in "Daydream" mode. There is nothing you can do. You must obey us."
"Obey usssss…." Added a second little voice.
"Who are YOU?" Neji demanded.
"I am the other eyebrow."
"Okay, this is weird." Neji decided. "What are you doing? Besides, you know, being on my forehead."
"That is top secret, young human male." Said the left eyebrow.
"Make sure you don't let him know about our plans for global conquest!" Warned the right eyebrow.
"You're planning global conquest?" Neji gasped.
"It seems that the boy knows too much!" Screamed the left eyebrow. "We must use our special abilities to make him forget all he has learned!"
"What? What are you going to do to me?" Neji asked, panicked. They chuckled.
"Exactly what we did to the others." They hissed. Gai suddenly smiled and snapped a pose.
"Explosion of youth!" He cried. Then he returned to his zombie-like state.
"NOOOOO!" Neji sobbed.
"Oh yes." The eyebrows cackled. "Once we take over we'll lay eggs in your brain!"
"Never!" Neji growled. He began to scratch at his eyebrows, an effort to save himself what was merely laughed at. Neji groaned in defeat, as their laughter swept over him. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Neji sat up, breathing heavily. He looked over to see his alarm clock blaring, and his calendar said it was Monday. Neji groaned. "Stupid Mondays." He growled. He pushed the snooze button about a total of four times before going downstairs to eat his breakfast. He went training with Tenten and Lee, before going to sleep that night and waking up the following morning feeling like there was something terribly wrong.
Please review! Please? Do it for Neji! Thanks in advance.