It was several days after Darren had been made a Prince. He was in his room installing something that not many vampires knew about. Something most likely forbidden. Something magical and full of wonder.

"What on Earth...is that?" Harkat inquired as he entered the room to find Darren fiddling with a strange looking piece of equipment.

"It's a computer, what did you think it was?" Darren responded incredulously.

"What...might that be?"

Darren chuckled. "That was hilarious, Mulds. Sounded like you said you didn't know what a computer was."

"I did...say that."

Darren looked long and hard at Harkat. "You poor deprived Little Person. How would you like to help me set this up?"

"What...would you like me...to do?"

"You can start by plugging this into that hole" said Darren, handing Harkat a pluggy thingy.

Harkat shoved it into the hole.

Then he pulled it out.

Then he stuck it in again.

Pulled it out.

Back in again.

He continued to do this for some time, going faster and faster.

"Mulds, you are one sick Little Person."

Harkat chuckled.

"If you leave the plug in the hole, I can show you how to go online." Darren offered.

"Online...sounds good...whatever it is..."

"I'll even hook you up with an e-mail adress!"

"Is an..e-mail adress...edible?"

"No, but if you have an e-mail adress, you can go on eBay, and you can order food from there. They'll deliver it right to the mountain!"

"I like...the computer...so far."

Just then, Seba walked in.

"WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS ABOMINATION? JUST WAIT TILL I TELL THE PRINCES ITS GONNA GET CARTED STRAIGHT OFF TO THE HALL OF DEATH I WARNED THEM NOT TO MAKE YOU A PRINCE BUT WOULD THEY LISTEN NOOOO AND NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS ABOMINATION! I CANT BELIVE THIS NEVER IN ALL MY YEARS-"

"Hey Seba! How would you like your very own e-mail adress?" Darren interrupted

"I REFUSE TO SUPPORT THE ABOMINATION!"

"You can go on eBay and buy anything you want!"

"NO!"

"You can instant-message to anybody anywhere!"

"Not interested!"

"There are...dating websites...especially for the elderly!" Harkat offered.

Seba went from looking livid to intensely enthusiastic in the space of one millisecond.

"Well why didn't you say so? But I don't want any of this elderly crap. Get me onto LavaLife. And this doesn't mean I approve of the Abomination!"

"I don't even want to know how he knows about LavaLife." Darren said, as he logged onto the internet. "All right, what do you want your adresses to be?"

Several minuites later, each had their own e-mail adress, and Seba and Harkat were eager to learn about what they could do with their new device.

"I would...like very much to...investigate this eBay...you mentioned."

"LAVALIFE!"

"To make everyone happy, we're going to eBay to order some supplies. We can have a computer in every single room of Vampire Mountain. And we need iPods. And stereos. Refrigerators. Phones. Couches. In short, Vampire Mountain is about to go through Extreme Makeover, Mountain Edition."

"I dont know...what any of those things are...but they sound good." Harkat encouraged.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO USE THE ABOMINATION TO DESECRATE WHAT HAS BEEN OUR HOME FOR CENTURIES!" Seba shrieked.

Darren grinned. "I'm not desecrating Vampire Mountain, I'm just giving it some homey touches! And if you don't stop complaining, I'm not helping you post your profile on LavaLife."

Seba scowled. "How soon can those other computers get here?"

"I'll take care of it. But you to have to get out so I can send some e-mails."

"To who?" Seba inquired.

"Debbie Hemlock, of course." Harkat snickered.

"It's nobody! Now shut up Mulds, or I'm not getting you an e-mail adress." Darren growled. "And don't tell anyone about this!"

After sending several e-mails to nobody, Darren logged onto eBay and proceeded to order a variety of items to help himself feel more at home amongst the Vampires. As he examined inflatable women, the door behind him swung open and Mika, Paris, Arrow, Mr. Crepsley, Kurda, Seba and Harkat burst in.

"You have a magic box?" Kurda gasped in awe.

"It's called...a commuter...you douchebag!" Harkat retorted.

"Darren said it was called an Abomination!"

"No, Seba. That's what you said it was called."

Darren sighed. Maybe this had not been such a good idea.

"I would like to order...some food now!" Harkat reminded.

"To make you all happy, I will give you a crash course on using eBay, then you can each make have 10 minuites to order whatever you want, then no more computer time until yours arrive."

"Who put you in charge?" Mika snorted.

"That would be us, Mika." Paris said, sounding slightly like he regretted the descision to make Darren a Prince.

After giving a detailed seminar on ordering items on eBay, Darren wrote down everyone's names alphabetically.

"Arrow, you can order your stuff now. Everyone out."

"Why does Arrow get to go first?" Kurda whined girlishly. "Why not me? That's not fair!"

Darren rolled his eyes. "Kurda, you stereotypical blonde, don't tell me you don't know what the phrase "alphabetical order" means."

"So who goes next?" the stereotypical blonde persisted.

"Harkat. You're after him."

"But I can't wait that long!"

"Fine. You can go last."

Kurda shrieked in fury and stomped dramatically out of the room.

"Who peed on his pancakes?" Harkat wondered.