Disclaimer: I do not own Almost Famous, The Wind by Cat Stevens or any other mentioned songs.
Summary: Once there was a girl with a fake name. Once there was a blonde who wore a green fur coat in the summer. Once there was a Band Aid who knew the lyrics of all songs, even the bad ones. Once there was Penny Lane.
Dedication: I dedicate this to everyone else who knows what it is to be a fan. To truly love some silly little piece of music or some band so much that it hurts.
The Wind
I listen to the wind,
To the wind of my soul,
Where I'll end up, well I think
Only God really knows
You don't know what to do. You don't want to stay and you don't want to go. Soft music is playing in the background as you stare out the window, trying to decide. You were never any good with decisions.
You want it all, even if you know you can't have it or you don't know what it is you want. Suddenly your friend Joni Mitchell is singing just for you and you mouth the words along with her strong voice, because of course you know them 'He tried hard to help, you know he put me at ease, and then he loved me so naughty, made me weak in the knees, oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on'.
Countless of times you've heard those words before, but now they have colours and meaning and you know what to do. You should go.
Dust gets in your vivid green eyes as you pull down the old, battered brown guitar case from the darkness of the top shelf of your wardrobe. It is right that the only light in the room comes from a few lit candles, for this is sacred. You can feel it as you open the clasps previously locking the case and pull out a green, velvet coat trimmed with white fur.
Out of the pocket falls a pair of large sunglasses made by purple plastic and the from your mother's radio downstairs the chords and words of a Beatles song slips through your floorboards 'Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes, wet beneath the blue suburban skies, I sit and meanwhile back' you smile a secret smile that still lasts when you head out the front door and even though your mother tells Lady Goodman goodbye, it's Penny Lane who leaves the simple house. Now the summer has begun.
I've sat upon the setting sun,
But never, never, never, never,
I never wanted water once,
No never, never, never, never
You're in and you met, and it's heaven and it's hell. Its bright lights and brown eyes. And it's music, because music is always and it's everywhere. From your hidden spot on the side of the stage you watch him. Talented fingers play the guitar like it was your body, knowingly, teasingly, exploring. They all smile, and they're all magic because they make music. And you sing and sway because you have to. Red lights, green lights, tantalizing lights wash over you and they're famous because you're standing out here. Waiting, smiling, singing, inspiring.
The girls that are visible from the stage are simply encouraging, but you, invisible and yet noticed, are the true fan that makes them something.
I listen to my words,
But they fall far below,
I let my music take me,
Where my heart wants to go
And then you find out. He wants you to come. Just like last summer. And you remember it, and you want to, but you don't. Back where you started, you don't know what to do or where to go.
You walk home to a home that isn't home, greet your mother that isn't a mother and lie down in a bed that isn't his. Everything is confusing, but everything is simple. You're going to go because its music and you have to.
No matter how many times you've retired you always go back, because its music and you have to. Its music and music is salvation and salvation is what you need. Its night, but you get up. You're going out, but you're really going back. He loves you, but he doesn't.
The sun is up. And then you go. Penny Lane is back and it's just like last summer, except everything is different.
I swam upon the Devil's lake,
But never, never, never, never,
I'll never make the same mistakes,
No never, never, never, never
The tour is kisses and naked bodies and friends who are lovers and lovers who are friends. Its happiness and sadness, and emotional. Its triumphs and tragedies, but none of that matters because it's music. And there's so much of it, and it's always and everywhere.
And you think maybe he loves you, but no one knows. You want to know, but then he makes music and you don't care anymore. You just sing, and sway and kiss and hurt.
And now there's no more summer, and everything hurts again. There's no more summer, no more music and he doesn't need you anymore. And you try again, but it hurts and finally you realize the mistake.
You tell your real name to the friend who wasn't a lover, and you hide from the lover who wasn't a friend. And finally you know where to go and it isn't back, and it isn't here, it's there. Somewhere new.
A/N: I hope everyone liked this. The character Penny Lane is of course from the awesome Cameron Crowe movie 'Almost Famous' where Kate Hudson did a phenomenal job as the Band Aid Penny Lane. The song I used for this fic was The Wind by Cat Stevens, and I also mentioned River by Joni Mitchell and Penny Lane by The Beatles. Please, please, please review! I live for it.
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