but you can skyrocket away from me...

-

Mello didn't come to bed that night. He wasn't there when the sun came up the next morning.

Mello was gone.

Matt has always suspected it would happen. He imagined that Mello didn't really enjoy being stuck in one place for too long... He'd rather be out there, doing something. Anything. Mello always had to be doing something.

The horror of the entire situation didn't hit Matt until lunchtime--- when he was scanning the tables for somewhere to sit... A friend to sit with, maybe? But then he remembered that Mello was his only friend. Mello was who he sat with at lunch. Mellomellomello--- everything was about Mello. So he didn't eat that day. He went back to their--- his... room and cried.

Matt didn't cry very often. When he did, it was quiet and soft, normally muffled by a pillow. But this... was a full blown sobbing fit--- he was wailing, and holding his head and gagging--- and he hadn't even bothered to close the door, so it shouldn't have been a shock that someone heard him...

"Matt..." It was Linda. She was clutching the bottom of her shirt nervously. "Matt, are you okay?"

"No." Matt hissed. "No--- leave me alone!"

Linda left, her lower lip shaking. Matt liked Linda--- he liked her a lot--- but he didn't want to see her right now. He didn't want to see her.

"Matt."

The voice that he heard this time was cold and flat.

"What do you want, Near?"

Light footsteps. A hand on his shoulder. He shuddered.

"Near..."

"I'm sorry."

Near? Sorry? No. Near was never sorry. Near didn't know how to be sorry.

"Why?"

"I'm sorry because I know that you miss him."

"... Do you?"

"Perhaps. I've never really missed anyone before, so I'm not sure if that's what I'm feeling or not. Are you angry with him for leaving? You sounded a bit angry when you were yelling at Linda."

Matt reached his own hand up and put it on top of Near's. They weren't holding hands, because Matt thought that would have been weird, but it was gesture from Matt to Near to show him that... well, Matt didn't quite know what he was trying to prove with this form of physical contact. Perhaps--- I know you're here. I appreciate you. I need you because I don't have anyone else.

Maybe.

"I'm not mad at him, no. He's allowed to do what he wants. ... I mean, even though he's gone, I'm still here. And all the other kids are gonna look at me and say, 'Wow, there's Matt... he's not been the same since Mello left' so, Mello's still going to be making an impression on these kids. That's basically what I live for. I mean, doesn't everyone have a divine purpose?"

"Some people believe this, yes, but I was reading about existentialists just recently---"

Matt wrapped his hand around Near's. "Please don't ruin this." he whispered.

"... Yes, Matt..." Near said after a heavy silence. "Everyone has a purpose."

"Well, I know mine."

"What is it?"

"I'm supposed to be... I dunno, like... a mirror. It's, like, I'm a mirror, and Mello is a ray of sunlight, and I reflect it back on everybody. Or, I'm a dark sky. And he's a star. And I make sure everyone can see him. I make sure everyone knows him. Just in case he can't do that himself... I'm there."

"And this doesn't bother you?" Near had both hands on Matt's shoulders at this point. Matt didn't mind.

"No, it doesn't. What bothers me is knowing that I'll never be able to do that for him again. ... What's the purpose of a mirror if it has nothing to reflect?"

-

Notes and stuff: This whole entire fic was inspired by the beautiful song Boats and Birds by Gregory and the Hawk. Listen to it, if you appreciate good indie music. (: The part about Matt being the sky and Mello being a star was taken from the first verse of that song.

Review, pleaseee.