The first time I had seen a child was when Anzu's aunt was having a baby shower. Yuugi and the gang were invited, I came along only to be polite of course and well, at this time I didn't have my own body, just like the other yamis. I remember this day well, it was in December when this child was born. Anzu's aunt had wanted the baby shower after her child its birth, so of course it was in the same month. The room was nice and warm, cozy and filled with the atmosphere of peace and happiness. Yuugi was sitting with Anzu and Jounouchi talking about some tournament that Kaiba was hosting next year in the summer. I hardly paid attention, I was musing in my thoughts and back then, I was thinking of important things. Isis had explained about a few months ago that she was reading some scriptures that had been buried not far from my tomb. In it was a way to give myself and the others, bodies of our own.

"Oh, Aunt Kisa" Anzu said, getting the older women's attention. "Where's Joshi?"

"Oh. I put him to bed just before you got here, he fell asleep right after his feeding"

"Aw"

"You can see him before you go if you want"

"No it's okay; I'll just come by next week"

It was strange really, that I had listened to this conversations very clearly, the rest were either busy talking to each other or in Jounouchi and Honda's case, eating. In some way, that I couldn't understand at that time was I was interested. I had never seen a baby, children yes, but babies I had never seen at all. Even through the few memories I had, I had never seen a babe, nor heard its wails. I stood from my spot, which was on the couch's arm. Bakura's reddish brown eyes immediately went to me; any sort of movement seemed to draw his eyes lately. He was leaning on the wall, one foot against it, arms crossed. His hikari, Ryou, wasn't far from him. The hikari was holding a plate of food, eating quietly sometimes laughing at one of Jounouchi's jokes or speaking whenever he was asked a question.

In the recent months, Bakura had started to be a little less violent to his light. That made the rest of the gang quite happy and even accepted the ex-thief somewhat. In Honda's case he seemed a bit wary of the thief, but usually muttered under his breath about the albino whenever he was gone or whenever something bad happened.

Sighing, I walked my way past the thief, his eyes following me down the hall and leaving when I went up the stairs. Upon the walls on my way up, were photos. Pictures of Anzu when she was younger, a black and white photo of a woman dressed in a kimono and a young man dressed in a business suit. He was holding a grinning girl who had her hair up in pig tails and doing the peace sign. I wondered why most females in Japan did that. Another photo was that of Anzu holding a puppy in her arms. She was smiling, holding the puppy close to herself. Kisa was with her to in this one, wearing shorts and a yellow t-shirt. Her dark brown hair, reaching a little past her shoulders, a grin plastered on her face.

Now that I look back on it, I remember every detail of these photos. Why? I don't know, but maybe it was that day, that special day. Finally reaching the top of the stairs I caught the scent of something sweet, the carpet upon my feet was a dark blue, having the new scent mixed with that of the sweet. It made my nose hurt and then a small sneeze came from me. Wrinkling my nose I moved on.

My walk was short though, only about five steps from the stairs was a door. The wood was a dark brown in the small little light from the night lights. A sign was nailed on the door, with a small kitten wrapped in a blue blanket. Upon the kitten's head was a sailor hat. The blanket had gold etchings within a blank smooth space of blue in it were the letters J-O-S-H-I

"Joshi?" I whispered, reaching forward for the doorknob only to have my hand go through. When in spirit form, we were unable to touch, unable to feel, unable to be seen only by our lights. They could see us, but they could not feel us nor touch us. It was a mere curse, which I hated. The only way I could actually 'touch' was when we were in the soul room, but even that wasn't real touching. It was sort of like a dream, a dream where you think you're being touched, you can feel it yet you can't.

It had confused my hikari and me, when we first learned we could not touch. I could not feel unless I took over his body, but then, he would have the same fate as me. I craved to be touch, many times, but…now is not time to ramble.

I remembered I sighed, and walked through the door, feeling it brush me but not really, it was just there. Shaking myself of the feel of nausea I slowly, ever so slowly walked further into the room. Moonlight streamed through the window blinds, a crib right below it.

Curiosity begged me to see the babe. To see what a baby looked like, but I ignored it and looked around.

The room was a light blue, just like that blue blanket the kitten was wrapped in. About half way up the wall, the blue seemed to get darker and darker, until the ceiling seemed blank. White stars, were painted in different sizes and in different constellations, since I already spotted the 'Big Dipper' and 'Orion's Belt'.

The moon was painted in the exact center; it was a mere swirl of yellow, white and specks of glittering gold. Beautiful was all I could think of. Kisa and her husband worked hard…just for a baby? Why?

A rustle came from the crib and I looked down quickly, eyeing it. There was a gurgle and small pops. The sound was…really strange, yet in some part of my mind, it screamed "cute".

He opened his eyes at me, staring right up at me. I jumped, how did I get here? I don't remember walking here. And how does this baby, see me? My questions were not answered, which was pure evil. The boy gurgled again, (which caught my attention quickly) making little bubbles out of his saliva. He giggled when they popped and then started again on a new batch of bubbles. I watched him as he did this for several minutes and then he started cooing, I noted he was a very active for a baby.

I noticed few things about babies, well actually him, but maybe all were like him. He hardly had any hair on him, just a small little bit of hair. He was also chubby, chubby cheeks, chubby hands, waist and feet! And then there was how tiny he was. A baby was tiny, absolutely tiny. To think, humans started from being this tiny to growing to three times this size or even four or five? A headache started to form which made me pout, which somehow caused a chain reaction, this little reaction was the baby clapping his hands rapidly and then…crying.

I jumped a second time, not knowing at all what to do. The first time I heard a baby cry, and it was annoying and deafening as hell. Excuse my French. I covered my ears; this didn't work, so I did the next best thing I started to hum loudly. The humming helped slightly but not much, than soon I noticed the crying was slowly stopping.

Hiccup.

Hiccup.

Joshi had started to have the hiccups he didn't seem to mind and started to suck on his fingers making little sounds. I continued to hum, watching as he jumped a little with each little hiccup he did. He was content, and I was content. I wondered…what did a baby feel like? I know what one looks like now, how one sounds, but what does it feel like?

In the end, I wouldn't be able to know about it. I wouldn't know what a babe felt like, in ones arms or even just a brief touch of fingers. I stayed in the room for a while longer, watching as Joshi seemed to explore his crib, or, well, try in his case. Mostly he flipped around and discovered the bars. Which he sadly hit the front of his head with he didn't cry though which I was fine with me. Baby cries, were murder.

Only a few hours later, I left with Yuugi and the rest. The gifts were given, talk was done, and it was well into the night. Yet I didn't want to leave, I didn't voice my say though and merely followed, the longing to feel what baby skin felt like on my own hands.

Yuugi was the first to notice my slight discomfort, which lead Bakura and Ryou to stare at me. I told my aibou that nothing was wrong, merely feeling under the weather. Yuugi didn't seem to buy it but he stopped pestering me.

Bakura wasn't going to leave me alone, sadly.

"So Pharaoh" he mocked, hands in his pockets. A slight glint was in his eyes and he had a smirk plastered on his face, oh…it was the evil smirk that says 'I want to squeeze every detail out of you'. I found out, that he has over twenty different styles of smirking. It's very strange.

"Pharaoh…stop staring" Bakura growled, glaring.

"Sorry. I'm just…thinking" Lie, sort of. Maybe.

"Ch. Sorry Pharaoh, I don't like asses like you"

"Like I would like you Thief"

"So tell me, your holiness, why were you up stairs the entire time"

Seems he would notice it first. "I was just…there"

"There?"

"…Yes."

"For what purpose, looking at people's things?"

"No…"

"Then…?"

"I was looking at the baby"

He stared at me, stopping his walk. We were behind the group as usual whenever we fought with each other or whenever we seemed to come out, we were usually in the back. Malik and Marik with us.

"Why, would you look at a baby?"

"I've never seen one before"

I told him the truth, because at the moment it seemed I had to. I think the gods wanted to punish me for something to make me say the truth, but something bothered me. Something truly bothered me.

"Keh, so you were with a baby the whole entire time, staring at it like some stalker" he rolled his eyes, walking again. Me following a little after.

"Well…if you put it that way, I suppose it was like a stalker in a way. But…I needed to see him, Bakura, a real baby!" I exclaimed, bringing my arms out wide to explain my point.

He raised a white brow at me, rolled his eyes once more and then quickly walked away to his hikari's side.

I frowned, somehow I don't think he understood me, no maybe he doesn't feel what I felt. A baby, a real baby right before my eyes, never seen one and now I have. And then, there was a feeling a longing. But…what did I long for?

Soon it had been weeks when I had seen the babe. Joshi, a baby boy. I had seen for the first time in my life. And now I found out the reason why I felt the longing. It was when Yuugi and I went shopping, at this time I had finally gotten a body. I was still getting used to it, my legs felt like jelly when I walked and I sometimes tripped.

I felt sickness and many other things, but Isis had said this would happen. Our spirits had to get used to being in a body again and the body was made by the shadows who graciously made us bodies, so did the millennium items but they hardly did anything but make the body more alive.

I'm getting off the point, but me and Yuugi went shopping. Groceries, grandpa had landed in the hospital when he harmed his back again; I was told it happened when one was old. I'm glad I'm not old, well…spiritually yes, body wise no.

I was pushing the small little cart while Yuugi got the things, checked it off on the list and repeated the process over and over again. An ex-pharaoh was bored out of his mind. So leaving Yuugi to fend for himself for a while I went walking around. Possibly they had sweets around here, something I recently got addicted t o, thanks to Yuugi.

I walked into each isle, looking at each item with a bored expression.

Meat

Meat

Wheat

Little girl.

Bread

Little girl?

I backed tracked, looking as there was a little girl who seemed to not know where to go. She had light brown hair that was held into pig tails and in her hands she held a cereal box. She looked at me then, with light blue eyes and then there was that feeling. That longing again. Slowly she came forward and asked, "Have you seen my mommy?"

"No little one, do you know what she looks like?" I asked, lowering myself to her level. She was small and probably was only six or seven.

"She is tall and um…she has hair like me but it down and um…she was wearing a pink jacket that went really down" she said, clutching the box tightly to herself.

"Hm…I think I know how you can find your mom, come with me" I said, standing up and holding out a hand. She looked at it for a moment, pondering it would seem. I was a stranger and she didn't know if she could trust me, but she took my hand and I walked towards where the cashiers were.

I talked with them, told them she was lost, they brought the mic and the girl told them her name, Yumi Wakatsuki. It was a few minutes later that the mom came, she seemed to had cried and she rushed over to hug her daughter. And I nearly wept at the sight.

She thanked me and Yumi said her good bye as I left to go find Yuugi. When I did I told him I wanted to go home. When we were home, I locked myself in my room and began to think.

The longing seemed to intensify and I soon realized why…

I had wanted a child. Not to adopt, but an actual child. A child I could call my own. Watch grow and come from me. Only me, but a male couldn't get pregnant. Unless…I asked the Items to grant me the ability to. But who…would be willing to give me a child. Who would be the 'father'?

Who was cold hearted and evil enough not to care about a child and myself? There were two people…two people I could choose. But who…was more evil then the other?