Flushed Away is, of course, the creation and property of Aardman-type people and DreamWorksy folks. But you know this.

This co-written story was the idea of the inestimable DragonTamer222 of The Great Ruby Chase fame and therefore any credit should go to her. Blame for bad bits can probably come to me since the odds are that I wrote them. There are little bits of The Great Ruby Chase as well as the Changes of Scene in here, so anyone confused can easily rememdy it by taking a look at those.

Apologies for the formatting of this chapter. I know it looks like a mess, but trust me, after this it gets better!

Chapter One: A Day in the Pipes

Rita sighed softly as she steered the Jammy Dodger II through the sewer waters. It was a quiet day, nothing really exciting happened, aside from the fact that Roddy had learned a new song and was now strumming it on a makeshift guitar he made out of a few pieces of twine over a miniature drum. The sound of it was music to her ears, literally, yet sometimes an irritating 'twang' would sound out, breaking the melodious tune.

"You really need to practice a bit more if you're going to do that right." She muttered as she turned her head towards him, seeing a playful grin crossing his face, "It sounds nice at some points, but then again it can get horrid fast."

She saw him put away the guitar and he stood up in order to walk up to the cabin, "Well, if we don't get any excitement soon, I'll be able to play a few guitar pieces at once." He turned his head and gazed out at the slow moving river, "Where exactly are we going, anyway?"

Rita shrugged, "Well, I'm not entirely sure. I'm just going wherever the river takes me…" as she sped the Dodger up a bit, she laughed, "It's not taking us very far on its own though, so we might as well help it out."

"Good, because you're not usually one to just go with the flow," said Roddy. He cast an eye back to the locker where he had stowed the guitar. "Go with the flow...that might make a good lyric..."
"Do not," said Rita, firmly. "Even think about it. What was that piece you started playing though? It was...well..." She struggled not to deliver an unmitigated compliment. "Not as bad as the others."
Roddy scratched his head. "You mean the Bach?"
"I thought it was the front," quipped Rita. Roddy rolled his eyes.
"A small amount of respect for one of the greatest composers of all time wouldn't kill you, you know. Especially when you've got one on your own boat."
"In that case I want you to find him and give him the guitar," said Rita.
Roddy laughed. "It was a Bach piece. One of my favourites."
"I liked it too," said Rita. "What's it called? Why do you like it?"
"It's called 'Air on a G-String,'" said Roddy. "Which is not unconnected to the reason I like it. Would you care to hear it again?"
"Make one move towards that locker and I'll break the guitar over your head, remove the G-string and garrotte you with it." There was a smile playing around her lips towards the end of the elaborate threat.
"Not if I get there first, Captain," said Roddy, with cheerful emphasis on the last word.
"You think you're faster than me?" Rita turned to him and cocked an eyebrow.
Roddy shook his head. "Not so much. I know I'm faster than you, Rita."
She locked the wheel into autopilot- a bent coat hanger inserted through a hole in the disc to prevent it from turning by itself. "And what makes you think that, Roddy?" she said, shifting subtly into a racing stance.
"Well...a couple of things." Roddy shrugged. "Such as the fact that you'll need to spend a couple of seconds getting up, by which time-"
He moved faster than Rita suspected he could. One of her legs was swiftly booted out from under her and she dropped onto the deck with a surprised yelp. Roddy flashed her a cocky salute and darted over to the locker.
"...by which time," he went on, "I'll be over here." He watched as his captain picked herself up again and reached for the nearest weapon.
"Oh, very funny, Roddy," said Rita, trying not to laugh out loud. "Very funny. I'm going to remember that one!"
"So will I," said Roddy, strumming a couple of chords casually. "In fact, I'm inspired to write a song about it. I think a suitable title would be 'Another One Bites The Dust'."
Rita laughed and threw herself at him. The guitar clattered to the deck as she bore him to the ground and landed heavily on top of him. Roddy struggled against her for a moment until she pinned him to the ground with the weapon she had grabbed from the cockpit.
"Uh...what exactly is that you've got there?" Roddy tried to look at his own ear.
Rita sat up and waved the bent coathanger. "The first thing that came to hand."
Roddy peered at it. "Isn't that the autopilot? Shouldn't that be doing something right about now?"
Rita stood and helped him up. "It shouldn't matter too much. The current here is weak anyway."
She went back to the cockpit. Roddy re-stowed the guitar and joined her, dusting himself off.
"Well, maybe here it is," he said. "But what about up ahead?"
Rita paused before replying. Roddy's ears were slightly better than hers, but now she could hear it as well. Above the sound of the engine, there was the unmistakable hissing roar of white waters.
"Oh, great...Roddy, take hold of anything that we have loose in the boat! If we're where I think we are, then we're in for some rough waters."
At her orders, Roddy began to grab anything within view that might prove as a hazard to a ship fighting against the waters, including the guitar which he had dropped.
Rita quickly grabbed the wheel of the ship and cranked it to the left to prevent the tip of the boat from smashing into the wall. The hull scraped slightly against the sides, but it didn't cause too much damage, so the captain righted the boat and continued to navigate the ship through the treacherous waters.
When Roddy threw the last of the items to safety into the engine room, he ran up to his companion and looked around, "This place is oddly familiar..." he murmured while gazing around at their surroundings. What was familiar were the multiple roots that snaked out of the walls, each one winding around pipes as if they were frozen serpents.
"That's because we were here not too long ago." Rita shouted over the rapids as she cranked the throttle to its fullest power, "This is where we lost the first Dodger, and this is the way it is to the humans' world Up Top!"
Roddy sighed, that was just their luck...The first time they came here was in desperation for him to get home, and it was at a great loss on Rita's part. But as he watched her steering the second ship, frowning in concentration, he knew she would get them safely through.
The rapids seemed to get rougher as the Jammy Dodger II cut through the water like a hot knife through butter. Rita's arms ached as she tried to keep the wheel steady, and beads of sweat ran down her face, but she fought as hard as she could. As the water turned off into the grate which led to the treatment plant, Rita grunted softly as she turned the wheel in the other direction, and was rewarded as the front of the ship met the calmer waters. Roddy shouted out happily as the turbine of the boat left the current, causing the ship to float calmly through the gentle river.
"Well, that could have been worse," said Rita, trying not to let her voice betray the nerves she had felt.
"You mean that couldn't have been better!" said Roddy enthusiastically. "Brilliant piloting, Rita! In fact, if I may say so..." He moved next to her and put a patronising arm around her shoulders. "I probably couldn't have done it better myself."
Rita gave him a wry look. "Only probably? You were driving the last time we were in these parts and what happened then? Oh, wait, wait...it's coming back to me, what's this boat called again..." She rolled her eyes skywards and tapped her chin as if in deep thought. Roddy sighed.
"That's not a totally unfair point."
"I don't think it's unfair at all," said Rita, patting his cheek happily. "Check below to see if anything's broken loose. The last thing we need is something knocking around where we can't see it."
"Heaven forbid," muttered Roddy. "Aye, ma'am!" He turned and made his way down the ladder into the engine room. He greeted the sight there with a groan loud enough to attract Rita's attention.
"Problem, Roddy?"

She stood at the hatchway and peered down at him.
"Only in the broadest sense...it's like Dresden down here only not on fire." He cast a despairing look around the room. The cupboards and lockers lining the walls had not been designed for the kind of kicking the Hyde Park Rapids could inflict. Their contents lay scattered around the room like cast confetti.
"Well, I guess I didn't have anything better to do today." Roddy picked up a matchbox marked SPARE PARTS and gave a resigned sigh when the tray slid out and scattered a dozen silver nuts across the floor. "Do you think it's possible I offended the Goddess of Chaos with my music earlier? I get the feeling that this is going to be one of those days."
Rita took pity on him. "Hang about. I'll stow the boat and give you a hand. It looks like everything's shifted and I don't want anything getting into the engine."

---

Rita did as she said and pulled the Jammy Dodger II to the side of the river so as to avoid any further troubles. Then, she walked back down and noticed that Roddy was already working, picking up each metal nut delicately before he placed it into the box.
"If you keep working like that, it'll take us hours to clean it up." she laughed and leapt down the hatch, landing lightly upon her feet, "Well, we probably should have realized this was going to happen. Let's just see what we can do about this."
Rita started to place a few discarded items, such as cans of food and tools, into a locker. She tried to not be too messy, but even as she looked at it, they looked a bit jumbled. "Was it like this before?" she asked, letting a nervous chuckle escape from her lips, "I don't even remember what was in this compartment."
Roddy tried fighting off a smart comment, but found it impossible to, "Granted, your organizational skills are lacking, but shouldn't you at least know where everything is on your ship?"
Rita elbowed him playfully, "Hey, that's your job, First Mate." she emphasized the last two words and picked up a dented guitar and couldn't help but smile, "Well, might as well put the cause of all of this away, we don't want any more trouble with the Goddess of Chaos, now would we?"
"Not when I'm on a boat being skippered by her closest living relative," said Roddy, kicking aside a pile of canvas in order to clear a path to a distant locker. "Maybe we should dump some of this stuff? I mean, even you don't know what it's all for."
"No, but you never know," said Rita, stowing the guitar, "With-"
"'With particular emphasis on the 'you'" said Roddy, rolling his eyes and attempting to imitate her lower-London accent. "You need some new material. I've heard that one so often that I've stopped even pretending to take offence."
"You know me too well," said Rita grinning.
"I would hardly think that's possible," replied Roddy, wedging the locker shut with his shoulder. "Thanks for the help. I'll clear the rest of it away and stow it in alphabetical order to help you remember where it all belongs." He paused and looked around the engine room with a pensive expression.
"You're having second thoughts about that idea?" said Rita.
"Not exactly...just...that plan rather relies on you knowing the alphabet..." He waggled a hand.
She threw an oily rag at him, leaving a dark smudge on his white shirt. Laughing, Roddy picked it up and threw it back but Rita was already halfway up the ladder. Roddy gave chase but she was too fast. Rita rolled out onto the deck commando-style and slammed the hatch shut behind her just as Roddy came through it. There was a solid-sounding thump and a muffled curse. She opened the hatch a crack and saw Roddy lying at the bottom of the ladder, rubbing his head and wondering what had just hit him.
"Sorry about that," she said with genuine contrition. "Are you all right? I didn't mean to get you."
"I'm all right," said Roddy, sitting up. "I probably deserved that after the trick I pulled earlier."
"It's a good thing you've got a thick head, Roddy," said Rita, smiling with relief.
"It was bound to come in handy sooner or later," Roddy gave her a small salute.

Rita laughed and shook her head before leaping down into the engine room. She always enjoyed coming down here. It always felt like being in the old Dodger, mostly because of the disorder within.
Roddy was currently pacing around the room, looking around at the lockers and cabinets.

"Well," he said as he peered at one shelf. He turned to Rita and cocked an eyebrow. "Where are we going now, skipper?"
Rita looked up at the open hatch and grinned. "If memory serves, I still owe you one trip to Kensington which doesn't involve losing the boat along the way."

"There's still time for that, Captain," said Roddy, poker-faced. "And we've already been back there, remember?"

Rita did, and hoped that she hadn't offended him with the suggestion. "Of course. Sorry. I guess it's a big sewer, though. Plenty to see and do. Besides, it isn't as if we can just turn around and go back now."
As the two reached the deck of the boat, Rita shut the hatch and walked up to the steering wheel, "Well, let's get going, then." she said with a grin, "Here goes nothing."
Pushing the lever to full throttle, Rita took the phone dial in her hand and the boat surged forward through the water.

---

Roddy watched their wake as they moved away from the Hyde Park Treatment Plant.
"Do you know the way?" he asked Rita.
She hesitated briefly. "More or less."
"So...you don't?" Roddy joined her, and grinned. Rita didn't like conceding that her knowledge of the sewers was anything less than encyclopaedic, especially not to Roddy.
"Well, we lost Dad's maps with the first Dodger," said Rita. "And nobody has ever managed to get past those rapids before."
"We're pioneers, then? How exciting." Roddy looked down the tunnel. "Just out of interest, how do you know that nobody has ever got past them?"
Rita looked at him as if he were desperately stupid. "Because nobody's ever come back, genius."
Roddy frowned. "Oh, I don't doubt it, ma'am! But wouldn't it be possible that they got past, but couldn't get back? The current would be just as strong in the other direction, wouldn't it?"
"That's...not...impossible, I guess," said Rita, who hadn't looked at it that way before. "Over the years, there'd be quite a few people who might have made it but couldn't get home again. Maybe we aren't pioneers after all."
"Well, we can always try being the first ones to get back," said Roddy. "Which we can, right? I mean, the Dodger can do it again?"
Rita patted the wheel fondly. "The Dodger can do anything."
"Much like myself," said Roddy, affecting an air of graceful arrogance.
"Ha, well, if you can do anything, why don't you go scrub the side of the ship while I find the way out of here?" Rita said with a teasing smirk.
"Oh, touché." Roddy replied with a gesture of placing his hand on his heart in mock pain, "Alright, well, maybe I can't do everything…"
"I thought so." Rita murmured as she continued to steer the boat forward, a bit apprehensive, but feeling adrenaline course through her. The thought of travelling to the world Up Top was beginning to seem like a new adventure to her.
She began to navigate the Dodger through the calm waters, keeping an eye out for intersections that would lead them elsewhere. As the great ship cut easily through the waters, Rita gazed at the bow in admiration as it slowly bobbed up and down with the flow of the river. She always had to remind herself why she received the ship, and it was because of her companion, who gave up a life of luxury to stay with her in the sewers. She looked back at him now, watching as he strummed a few chords on the guitar that he retrieved from the engine room.
"Not this again…" she murmured aloud so that her companion could hear. Roddy looked up with an angelic look on her face, one that didn't fully conceal the imaginary horns on his head.
"I think we should put that away for a while." Rita said as she turned her eyes away to watch the river, "Besides, I need to concentrate, and I can't do it with that noise going on."
Roddy ran his hand over the guitar one last time, "Aye, aye, captain." he went down below the hatch and disappeared from view, and Rita shook her head softly and took out the mechanical hand before allowing it to rest on the hatch.
"He's probably going to kill me for this." Rita muttered as she felt a grin sneaking up on her face, "But now he can play however much he wants and it won't bother me."
Roddy pushed on the hatch once or twice and chuckled to himself. Well, two could play at this game! He put the guitar aside for a moment and went over the engine control panel. His knowledge of mechanics had advanced considerably since his ill-fated attempt at repairing the first Jammy Dodger and it was a simple matter to switch over to the electric motor, powered by the onboard battery pack. He then picked up the instrument again and opened a maintenance hatch in the side of the funnel.

Rita looked around in surprise as she felt the vibration of the main engine stop. She'd checked it this morning! It couldn't possibly have broken down already! But the auxiliary electric motor had kicked in without her telling it to. She looked back to the hatch and considered moving the mechanical arm aside so she could go down and check it out.
"Noboooody knows...the trouble I've seen..."
She paused and then shook her head. Roddy's voice, echoing eerily in the metal confines, was emerging from the funnel accompanied by distant, melancholy music.
"Nobody knows...but Rita..."
She rapped the knuckles of the mechanical hand on the deck once or twice.
"Pipe down, will you, Satchmo? If you're going to be playing around down there do you think you could make a start on dinner?" She tried to sound severe, but it took all her effort not to laugh out loud.
There was a pause before Roddy replied, making full use of the echo-chamber effect the funnel produced.
"Bewaaaaare, bewaaaaare!" He waved his hands despite the fact that Rita couldn't see them.
"Your cooking isn't that bad, Roddy!" Rita finally moved the hand aside. She opened the hatch and stuck her head down into the engine room. "And you might want to take her off auxiliary power as well. The last thing I need is the battery pack dying on us."
Roddy grinned cheekily and shouldered the guitar in a military-style armed salute, flicking the funnel hatch shut with his tail as he did so. "Your wish is my command, ma'am!"
Rita rolled her eyes. "Maybe a dead battery pack isn't the worst possible outcome after all. You make a start on the food and I'll find somewhere to pull over for the night."

Roddy smiled and threw the guitar aside, "Alright, Captain. Slop in a bowl coming right up!" I just need the ingredients." he reached in a cabinet and Rita cocked an eyebrow, "You won't find much in the oily rag locker, I can tell you that."
Roddy made a face and pulled his hand away as if the contents within were diseased, "Ew, you never can tell where those rags have been."
Rita grinned. "I was just kidding, gosh, I'd think that you were the one who knew where everything went. Didn't you just put it in there say..." she pretended to be deep in thought for a moment, "Ten minutes ago?"
Roddy laughed, "I guess my memory isn't quite the best. It's contagious after a while."
He narrowly dodged a half of a golf ball that was meant for a bowl, and he rested his hands on his hips and scowled, "Now, now, Rita, how many times have I told you not to throw the utensils we eat off of?"
Rita laughed and rolled her eyes, "Well, since you haven't fed me yet, I might as well make use of the empty bowls."
"Okay, okay." Roddy said as he lifted his hands in front of him, "I'll take care of the food, just find us some place nice to stay...well, as nice as you can find in a sewer." he gave a friendly smile.