Armed Robber

Nami could feel her eyes itching to close and her head rolling forward on her neck. She was beginning to wonder if staying over at Vivi's for the night would have been a better idea, but no, that Kohza annoyed her to no extent. But still, it would have been a thousand times safer then driving along the highway at 160 kilometres per hour, at night. She then thought of the two days study she hadn't done and nearly veered off the road towards a tree.

Nami steadied the car just as she zoomed through the red lights and found herself down her street. She parked the car outside her house; because it would lessen the risk of having a car crash the sooner she could get out of the accursed machine.

Her day hadn't been a good. That much was obvious.

Her arse-faced boss had farted in her face one too many times. She was going to strangle him one day, really. If only there existed a long enough length of rope to noose him. Then they'd have a trial and naturally find him guilty for making women work for inhumane hours – then they'd hang the idiot.

Nami chuckled at her chain of thought as she slipped the house key into the lock and twiddled it around for a bit – her eyes drifted to the house next door. It was dark. Nami cocked her head to one side trying to make out what in his backyard deserved an eight foot fence – he didn't have a dog, otherwise she would have poisoned it by now.

The click of the lock interrupted her thoughts and she stumbled inside, turning on lights until she got to the kitchen. She grabbed an orange, turned off the lights and with the help of the walls, headed to her room. The sight of her bed lying in a mess of sheets and blankets switched her off then and there; she collapsed onto the mattress and was immediately blessed with sleep.

Zoro followed the moonlight like a moth; he was dead tired, mentally. He was verging onto the point of starvation and was frustrated with the conversation he had with his so called, 'superior'. Zoro didn't know of anyone who could get on his nerves as much as the Spaniard swordsman did. Honestly, the man hadn't the faintest idea of tradition Japanese kendo and here he was telling him that he was treating the students too harsh!?

"I'm not going to kill them for god's sake," Zoro said to himself bitterly. He paused as he traced the moonlight to his house, sitting hollow-like on his front lawn. He patted down his clothes and sighed – like always, he had forgotten his keys. Zoro rotated his shoulders, looked like he needed to break in for the umpteenth time. He went over to the lowest window and looked up at it, judging its height. Tightening the muscles in his legs he leapt, his fingers catching onto the sill and fumbled for some sort of catch.

A slight gap was enough space to squeeze his fingers in and slowly grind the window upwards.

Nami frowned slightly in her sleep, her dreams telling her that there was a loud squeaking rat at the window who wanted to talk to her about economic banking and investments. Probably the most intelligent conversation she would ever have with anyone, thus she was contemplating the offer when a particularly loud squeak snapped her eyes open.

She held her breath; did she close the window properly? She couldn't remember. Good god, was there someone trying to climb through? She didn't want to know. Was he a murderer? Too bad, she would always be better. She had after all, mown a man down with a lawn mower.

Nami felt under her pillow and felt the cold steel press firmly into her hands, it was a comfort knowing it was there. A loud thump told her that the intruder had successfully climbed through the window.

Zoro rubbed the back of his neck; he couldn't remember opening such a stubborn window for a long time. He stiffened as a glint of silver caught the moonlight.

A gun!? Holy crap! Zoro thought frantically, reaching for anything in his vicinity to use for a weapon. There's a freaking armed robber in my house! His hands felt nothing except the cool wooden floor boards, he swallowed. The glint of silver flashed again and he threw himself to the side, narrowly avoiding the attack.

It wasn't a gun, he realised, it was some sort of iron rod. He wrapped his hands over his head and curled up as the rod struck the place above him, grinding loudly against the wooden walls.

"Ah shit!" Zoro rolled under a small table in a vain attempt to dodge the attacker. Above the table's surface cracked and collapsed inwards. He wiped the splinters from his eyes and looked frantically around the dark room, his hands running through the debris in search for any sort of weapon. He found the table's leg and grasped it tightly. He began to make his move.

"Crap," Nami hissed quietly to herself, straining her eyes in the darkness, her metal staff held firmly in her hands and ready at her side. She had lost sight of the intruder. She began to cautiously cross the room – hopefully she could find the light switch. For a moment something stirred in the darkest corner, her heart thudded loudly as she made her way over to it.

Zoro ran his hands along the wall, "Come on," he groaned to himself, "the light's somewhere." His fingers located the switch; he hurriedly flicked it on and spun around to face his attacker standing behind him.

Nami blinked, momentarily blinded by the sudden light. Her eyes adjusted, they focused.

Zoro dropped the table leg in shock. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY-!"

Nami screamed.

Mrs. Barker poured the poor girl another cup of camomile tea and patted her hand. "There there, child," she cooed, "it's all right, just a little misunderstanding, that's all."

Nami accepted the warm cup and nodded slightly, feeling drained and confused and angry and…she looked over at the unconscious green man lying on her couch and sipped her camomile tea. A man with no sense of direction, her kind old neighbour had explained. Completely helpless. Living in a lost world.

Yeah sure, Nami had said heatedly to herself, that's what he makes everyone think. At least the camomile was working. Since the arrival of Mrs. Barker it had taken her ten minutes to calm down and stop bashing the man who had entered her house via the window.

The neighbour had explained that he never carried his keys on him. Which was somehow supposed to be more believable than a man with no sense of direction? Doubtful.

But still, this nice neighbour she had was an improvement. Nami wished she had met her before she had with the coniferous man. She watched the man stir, "You right, now?" she called to him.

Zoro stiffened. "Yeah," he sat up groggily, "no thanks to you."

Mrs. Barker rushed over to him and handed him a cup of tea. "There you are, dear."

"Uh…" he took the cup, "thanks, Mrs. Barker." He sipped it. "Umm, what're you doing over here?"

"You climbed in through my bedroom window," Nami snapped from the kitchen before the old neighbour could explain. "Are you queer or what?"

Zoro snorted, "You're queerer."

The orange woman huffed. "I'm going to call the police on you tomorrow, just so you know."

He waved an airy hand. "Yeah, go right ahead," he leaned on his hands and cocked his head to one side. "I don't expect anything less from an orange, raving lunatic of a woman who has a temper crisis and a lack of genuine humanity." That got her out of her seat and brought her stalking over to him. Zoro bit his bottom lip as he looked up. "Yes…?"

Nami curled her hands into fists and fought to keep them at her side. "Get the hell out of my house," her voice was barely recognisable.

Zoro snapped to his legs and glared down at her. "Gladly."

Mrs. Barker shivered as Zoro stormed out the door, slamming it loudly behind him and continued to make a din until he reached his own home and slammed his own front door closed. Nami peeled her eyes away from where Zoro had been sitting and directed them onto the elderly woman.

"Thanks for your concern, Mrs. Barker," Nami said before steering her out of the house and slamming the aching front door closed once more.

Nami leaned her back against the door and bit at her fingernails in thought. She sighed and shook away the looming thoughts of people at windows. "Men," she cursed, turning on her heel and opening the front door. There was no way she was going to get to sleep in her own room now.

Vivi rubbed her eyes and looked sleepily over at the person lying peacefully next to her. "'Morning, Kohza," she slurred.

Nami yawned loudly, "'Morning." She watched her friend give a yelp and fall out of bed and peered over. She smiled, "Sorry, I decided to come over after all."

Vivi levered herself back onto the mattress. "Oh…how'd you get in?"

"Kohza opened the door for me," Nami explained. "I suppose that was nice of him."

Vivi gave an 'I told you so' face. "So, ah…where is he now?"

Nami shrugged carelessly. "Don't know, probably sleeping in one of the spare rooms," she massaged her forehead slowly. "You wouldn't believe what happened to me last night."

The morning light was a pure golden and the sky a bright azure blue, indicating another hot day ahead and possibly a power shortage because of all the running air cons. There was a sense of water restriction in the air, but even so, Vivi had her sprinklers on full. The water fed her emerald green garden and magnificent lawn and a light spray would occasionally drift in the direction of the marble patio, designed with a Grecian flare. The curly headed butler laid a jug of fresh goat's milk onto the table and stepped back with a nod.

Vivi smiled, "Thanks Igoram!"

Nami rolled her eyes and poured herself a bowl of cereal.

Kohza chewed thoughtfully on his muesli as his girlfriend's friend retold her night's experience. "I don't know," he said at last, "I suppose you had all rights to attack him when he first came into the room, but when you knew who he was, shouldn't you have stopped?"

Nami frowned at him, "Shut the hell up, you man, this is women's talk!"

The couple blinked. Kohza shrugged and went back to chewing his breakfast, though he was silently steaming.

Vivi sighed loudly. "Nami," she started cautiously, "you know that you can, you know, stay with us. Father's over in England at the moment and it's kind of quiet without him and Pell around."

Silence.

"I mean," continued Vivi, testing the water, "the house has a least eighty rooms…Nami, stop giving Kohza death glares!"

Giri: Another chapter! I really appreciate your reviews!!