The Stacy's On Crack Collection

Rating: Teen. Because although there is no actual smut, I tend to be very suggestive

Pairing: OKAY. So there is definitely something here for everyone. xD Some yaoi, some tadamuto, and a sprinkle of yuri.

Warnings: Um, THERE ARE GAY COUPLES. If you don't like that, just don't read those. Duuuh. xD

Disclaimer: I'd like to thank blue and leafy because they were the ones who came up with the couples and the random objects. xDDD Thank you loves. And blue came up with the title. xDDD I think it works perfectly And I don't own Shugo Chara.

AND PS JOIN GUARDIAN'S WISH 8DD Shugo Chara FTW

Credit Card – Takuto

Ikuto stood at the counter, tapping the shiny plastic against the surface. He was mulling over the purchase he was about to make. It wasn't like the blonde needed it. He was a rich boy. And being a rich boy, Tadase didn't need much. He could probably, at the snap of his fingers, have anything he could ever desire.

But Ikuto just wasn't sure the blonde boy would ever desire this. It always was satisfying to show up at the door with some random surprise; Tadase's flustered expression was worth more than anything Ikuto could buy.

So without any further thought, Ikuto ran his credit card through the machine and flashed his ID at the cashier. With a small grin, he slid it back into his wallet and picked his item up off the counter.

He was going to enjoy Tadase's reaction to receiving a pregnancy test. You know. He thought with a smirk. Just to be safe.

Lamp – TadasexKukai

Tadase blinked, dropping the lamp to the ground with a loud thud. Instantly, a huge blush spread across his face.

Kukai just gaped, staring with his mouth hanging open at the blonde.

The two just stared at each stared at each other, completely silent, for a whole long minute. The silence finally broke when Kukai bursting into laughter. The boy fell onto the ground, laughing so hard tears sprung out the corners of his eyes. Tadase's face darkened significantly, the color matching his eyes. He quickly brought the lamp back up to an upright position and straightened the shade.

"K-Kukai..." He stuttered, realizing nothing he said could really justify his actions.

When Kukai's laughter finally faded away to the point he could actually breathe, he panted a bit and shot a huge smirk at his friend.

"So, Tadase, are you in need of practice that badly?"

The blonde stammered, blushed, and glanced away. Kukai chuckled and pulled the blonde towards him. His hand slipped away, leaving just his index finger resting under Tadase's chin.

"If you have to practice kissing with a lamp shade, you've got to be pretty desperate." Kukai smirked. "Real people might be willing to help, you know."

Moniter – KukaixKairi

"I cannot BELIEVE you two!" Amu angrily shouted at the two boys, who exchanged nervous looks. In hindsight, it probably hadn't been the smartest idea. But hell, it had been worth it.

They had known Amu was letting them stay in the baby's room. Kairi had just smiled politely, thankful. Kukai had laughed at the décor, flicked the mobile, and put on a show for his black-haired lover with the abundance of stuffed animals lying around the place. And then they proceeded to have some hot, sexy fun. They had tried to keep it quiet! And Amu's family had been on the other side of the house anyway.

How were they supposed to know the baby monitor had been on?

Cell phone – Rimau

It wasn't like Rima needed it. She wasn't sure why Utau had insisted she carry it around. Maybe it was comforting for the older blonde to know she could reach Rima at any moment in time. Rim pulled her cell phone out and ran her fingers over the colored metal. It wasn't ugly, she had to admit. It was a simple black phone with red here and there. Not something Rima herself would pick out, but it was just a phone. And only one person called her on it, anyway.

Utau's song would dance through her ears and she'd instantly pull it out and flip it open. Always. No matter where she was or what she was doing. Utau would talk to her as long as she wanted and hang up when it suited her. Rima would clam the singer down, listen, and never once had the younger girl hung up before Utau. Maybe it was just her, but the longer she had the phone, the more attached she became.

And then Utau didn't call. Rima stared down at the phone anxiously. It had been a week. Didn't the older girl care about her at all? Well, Rima was a bit concerned about her. But not too concerned.

Rima ran her fingers over the phone again. Why give her the stupid thing and talk to her so damn much if one day she was going to stop?

She bit her tongue. But what if something bad really HAD happened? Concern finally winning over pride, Rima checked under contacts. She only had one; it had been programmed in when she received the phone. The first time she called, she got no answer. So she called again, someone finally picking up. Yet not saying anything.

"Utau...?"

"It's about time you called."

"W-what?"

"It's been a week!"

"Yeah, b-but-"

"Weren't you concerned at all?"

"I called you now, didn't I?"

"Finally!"

There was a pause. Rima was about to reply, but Utau beat her to it.

"Well, I'm glad you called. I'm glad you care."

"Of course I care! I lo-" Rima paused instantly, blushing at what she had been about to say.

"You...?"

"I... you're my friend. I care."

"That's not what you were going to say."

"How do you know?"

"You love me."

Rima's blush darkened. "I didn't s-say that...!"

"It's alright, Rima-chan." Rima could just see one of Utau's rare smiles. "I love you too."

Cherries – Kushiko

The first time they met, Nadeshiko reflected, could be defined by word one. Cherry. They had been young, Nadeshiko entering Kindergarten and Kukai in first grade. It was sort of like fate, he supposed, what had happened.

Kukai had been standing there staring at Nadeshiko because he had nothing better to do. He didn't really want to listen to their chatting parents.

Nadeshiko was staring as well, but he was focused on the stick dangling out of Kukai's mouth. The little boy was envious. The red head had a lollipop. Why didn't he?

Kukai noticed this quickly. He slid the candy in one direction, causing the stick to pop out on the left side of his mouth. He twitched his tongue again, so the candy began rolling to the other side. Kukai's eyes lightened with amusement as he watched Nadeshiko's eyes follow the stick. It had been rude, he admitted later, but amusing. The kid was bored, and bragging to the raven haired child had been the most entertaining pastime that crossed his mind. He repeated the rolling motion for a few minutes, finally laughing when he saw the drool drop out of the corner of Nadeshiko's lip.

Nadeshiko had blushed, instantly looking away and desperately trying to mask his embarrassment. As Kukai's laughter continued, much to the poor boy's chagrin, he felt the tears build in his eyes. When Nadeshiko finally looked back, Kukai's eyes had instantly widened and guilt filled his gut. He sighed and walked over, wiping his thumbs under Nadeshiko's eyes to stop the tears. Nadeshiko had glanced up, innocently surprised. Their eyes locked for a moment, and a grin spread across Kukai's face. He pulled the lollipop out of his mouth and shoved it into Nadeshiko's. He laughed at Nadeshiko's wide eyes and gave the younger boy a rub on the head before his dad yanked him away. Kukai waved with a smile as he left. Nadeshiko waved back, blushing at both the cherry flavor in his mouth and the wink the older boy sent him.

Peanut Butter – IkutoxKairi

It had been an accident. It was just, wow. Yeah. Indescribable. Kairi immediately pulled back, embarrassed and ashamed. Ikuto was just shocked, staring down at his fingers.

They were making sandwiches. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, to be precise. And so some peanut butter had stick to Ikuto's fingers. And Kairi, without thinking, had sucked it off. Not licked, sucked. Even with a little moan at the end.

It had been a completely accident. Yet Kairi was still so embarrassed. He blankly resumed spreading jelly on the bread to pass to Ikuto for peanut butter. When Ikuto recovered, he continued spreading peanut butter. Not a word was spoken until Kairi accidentally dropped a glob of jelly onto his hand. He glanced away to grab a napkin, but Ikuto beat him to it. The cat kissed his hand over the jelly and licked it off, finishing with a smirk and running his tongue over lips. The younger boy stared for a moment, then shook his head with a smile.

Ikuto's peanut butter hand snaked over the counter to embrace Kairi's jelly hand. Kairi blushed, sending the cat a look. Ikuto only squeezed the samurai's hand in return.

And perhaps there hadn't really been an accident in the first place.

Cheese – NadeshikoxKairi

Change occurs. As life goes on, people die, people are born, people leave, and people come. This particular afternoon in the garden, two guardians were saying farewell at two were introducing themselves. The farewells happened first; Kukai and Nadeshiko, with tears and hugs, left. Then Kairi and Rima were supposed to be introduced.

But of course, nothing really ever happens exactly as it's planned. More often than not, change occurs. As Nadeshiko was leaving, fate had it so that he accidentally ran into the younger boy, sending them boy sprawling backwards. They both moved to help each other, and Kairi had dropped his camera. They recognized each other as guardians instantly, as the shugos gave it away.

Nadeshiko recovered first, pulling Kairi up to a standing position. They smiled at each other, nodded, and then Kairi noticed the Polaroid that had popped out of his camera. He plucked it up off the floor and stared at it with a sigh. Curious, Nadeshiko dropped his chin onto Kairi's shoulder to get a better look. The boy blushed furiously and attempted to hide the picture. It was, by fate, a picture of Nadeshiko's chest.

Fully understanding Kairi didn't know his secret, Nadeshiko immediately eased the boy's embarrassment and the growing tension with a few giggles.

"Would you like a better picture of me?" Nadeshiko had to grin at the poor kid's flustered face.

"S-sure."

"Alright." Nadeshiko wrapped his arm around Kairi's shoulders and brought his face over so the two were cheek to cheek. Still furiously blushing, Kairi brought the camera up to take a picture.

"Don't forget to say 'cheese'!" Nadeshiko sent him a grin.

"R-right."

Cookies – Tadamu

Everyone has a bad habit. Some were dangerous, some were disgusting, and others were just plain addictive. Tadase's bad habit wasn't dangerous or disgusting, but he knew it was undeniably addictive.

He grinned up at his single remaining opponent as he shuffled the cards. Everyone else but the pink-haired girl in front of him had given up. He dealt her two cards and then dealt himself two. Blackjack was just plain addicting.

He smirked down at his loot. They never played with actual money, but no one had qualms with using cookies. And Tadase had won eleven out of the dozen. All he had to do was win this round and it was over. He glanced up at Amu, waiting for her choice as she examined her cards.

"Hit me."

He slid a card over to her. Amu picked it up, her face falling instantly.

"You staying?"

"Yeah."

He checked his own cards and nodded, pleased. The object of the game was to get cards that added up to twenty one without going over. Tadase was so pleased. He had a king and a queen, so a nice total of twenty. And with that expression, Amu wouldn't be doing well.

He flipped his cards over with a smirk.

"Twenty."

Amu's depressed expression instantly sprung into a grin.

"Twenty-one."

"WHAT!?" Tadase stared as Amu pulled not only her cookie, but one of his towards her. His eyes narrowed. "We're playing again."

"Alright." Amu pushed her bet of one cookie out. She giggled to herself as she watched Tadase's intense shuffling. She glanced down with a laugh to the identical deck Kukai had slipped her.

Tadase would figure out eventually, she realized as she fiddled with the card she'd switched last round. And she hoped he would 'punish' her for it.

Korn – Takuto

He slammed his hand over his mouth as soon as the word left his lips. It didn't take long for the cat to be hovering above him with a perverted leer.

"What did you say?"

"N-nothing!" Tadase squeaked, attempting to scoot as far away from Ikuto as possible.

"That's not what I heard."

"W-what did you hear?"

"PORN!" Ikuto grinned. "Who'd've thought little Tadase-chan was into that?"

"I didn't say that!"

"What?"

"You know what!"

"No, do tell me."

"Now you just want me to say it!"

"Say what!"

The blonde sighed. "I said KORN."

"I didn't know you were into that stuff."

"Yeah, well, now you do..."

"You wanna see my collection?"

"You have a Korn collection?"

Ikuto slung his arm around Tadase's shoulders and gripped him tightly, pulling the boy onto his lap. At the same time, he flipped on the TV.

"Now, do you want to see gay korn or straight korn? Maybe lesbian korn?"

"W-WHAT!?" Tadase's eyes widened at the images on the screen.

"You know you like it!"

"I said KORN!!!"

"And I assumed, since you are so adorably shy, that Korn would be our substitute word."

"Ikuto, that's retarded!"

"Ah, I see. So my lover wants homemade korn?"

"No! I never said-!"

"Fine with me"

"No! Ikuto! Wait a second! Wait! Oh god, not THERE!"

Spoons – Amuto

Amu wasn't sure if she was supposed to be impressed or something along those lines, but currently she felt utterly humiliated. They were at a nice restaurant. It was a black tie place, where dresses and suits were required. Not to mention that the food was expensive. She sighed, dropping her head into her hands. Finally, after a few breaths, she looked up. And he was still going.

Why Ikuto chose now and here of all times to beat his record length at balancing a spoon on his nose was unknown to the poor girl. They had been conversing on light topics when her boyfriend, out of nowhere, popped his spoon onto his nose. Amu didn't want to know how he did it. Her only question was WHY. Was it boring being with her or something? She hoped not. She sighed once more and dropped her head. She perked up angrily when she felt something smack the top of her head. She rubbed the sore spot, sending a glare at her playful boyfriend. He tried not to smile, but she could see through his little act.

"Ikuto... can't you behave?"

He simply grinned and popped the spoon onto his nose, adding two on his ears. Amu rolled her eyes, but when she looked back, something caught her attention. Dangling off of the two spoons on Ikuto's ears, Amu noticed two glimmering diamond earrings. She looked up at him, surprised. He grinned, catching all three spoons as they fell off. Ikuto slid the earrings over to her with a wink.

Lulz. Everyone loves crack. You know you love crack. I know I love crack. You know I love crack. I know you love crack. So yay! Crack!