I know, I know I've abandoned my stories for a really long time and I hope that some of my readers are still on this board. But truth is my life was so incredible busy over the past few months that I got hardly time to breath, let alone write. Plus there was this seriously annoying writers block. It's actually still there, so I'm not really happy with this chapter. If you have any suggestions as to how this story should continue I would be really thankful. Please leave a review or pm me! I hope the next chapter will be up sooner than this one!

Disclaimer: No, I still don't own Greys or any of the characters

Chapter 9

„Alex?" he heard a distant voice calling his name but couldn't quite place it at first. God, he felt so tired, like he hadn't slept in years, even though he knew perfectly well, that he'd only just woken up. To be honest, he liked the sensation of feeling asleep and being conscious at the same time so much, that at first, he didn't want it to stop. The questions of where he was and who was calling him were just small details that he currently tried to push to the side. But suddenly he felt someone touch his shoulder and nothing felt the same. With the unwanted human contact he was unwillingly torn out of the place of happiness he'd created for himself.

It had started shortly after Laura's current shrink had told her that he was "bad influence" and that she should stay away from him. Apparently their raping, beating, drunk of a father wasn't the only reason for her mental illness. But Alex expected nothing else. Psychologists were suspicious in every kind of way. Even the school shrink he was forced to visit once had scared the crap out of him. In a weird way he felt that this person wanted to control him. And talking about feelings and why the bruises on his arms never really healed where his own business and nobody else's. It was then that he started to feel resentful not only towards his father, but also towards Laura in some ways. Nothing had been the same between her attempted suicide. The fact that his baby sister, he'd been trying to protect all of his life, didn't want anything to do with him was enough to push him over the edge.

He nicked pills from their mother, not that she was ever gonna notice. Just every now and then. Most of the time she was too fucking drugged up she wouldn't even miss him, when he didn't come home for days on end. Even though he knew deep down that this was a huge and terrible mistake, he couldn't help himself. "It runs in the family" he thought and smiled to himself when thinking about his fucked up parents and everything just constantly seemed to be going downhill.

So he swallowed another one. Only to keep that slightly dizzy feeling for a little bit longer. Just a little bit longer. Just until he had to leave for practice. Wrestling really was the only thing that made him hold on at the moment and with that he was only reminded once again what a sad and pathetic excuse for a human being he was. His sister didn't talk to him anymore, never even bothered to thank him for saving her life.

Someone started to shake his shoulder furiously now. This person was everything but gentle with him but he didn't care. Actually he just wanted to be left alone.

"Alex, open your eyes!" The sweet, female voice almost begged. And now he suddenly knew that he wasn't 16 anymore. No, he was currently lying on the floor of Seattle Grace's resident's lounge with Meredith Grey kneeling beside him.

"What?" he faintly mumbled, still feeling like a rock that couldn't move and there it was again: The pain immediately came rushing back to intoxicate every single one of his muscles, so that he felt in serious need of painkillers.

"Alex, you have to stay awake if you want me to take you to your sister's room!

Yeah, that's true, Grey had found him when he wanted to take off to see his sister in the ICU. Alex remembered

"How long was I gone?" he asked through gritted teeth. Everything seemed to fucking hurt again and in this very moment he couldn't help but wish they had never found him sitting in the rain. But still he desperately tried to push himself up into a sitting position, so that he would look less like a patient and more like a doctor again.

"About 3 minutes" Meredith answered clearly worried about him. "Listen, Alex, you're really burning up. You need to go back to bed and rest. You don't have to pretend, you know. You can't fool me Alex. I know perfectly well that everything in your body hurts. You need your meds, otherwise you're gonna pass out again."

At that Alex opened his eyes to look into his friend's. She was right; he needed the drugs right now, like he used to need them after his sister sort of abandoned him. It was a deep craving that had been woken up inside of him. He tried to persuade himself, that it was only because he was in pain, but wasn't completely sure that this was the whole reason.

"Then go and get them!" He snapped at Meredith, regretting the harsh sound of his voice the second that the words left his mouth, instantly fighting the urge to vomit all over the ugly hospital gown he was still dressed in.

"Fine" she said, resting her hands on her hips, clearly not satisfied with his decision to ignore the rules.

When she had taken off and the door was closed again Alex started to breath through the constantly worsening pain that seemed to multiply with every single one of his heartbeats. Never had he experienced something like this. Well, there was only one thing that could compare to this, a thing that nobody knew about. It would only make him look weak, which he wasn't. He was a fighter. He'd survived multiple times and he knew he would come through this too. If only Grey came back soon. The drugs would make everything so much more bearable. And only after a few deeper, painful breaths she returned, juggling and IV-Kit, syringes, band aids a thermometer and other things not too gracefully on her arms. She set everything down on the table and went to lock the door.

"You're lucky Bailey isn't back from her code yet. She would rip your skin off if she knew that you're not in your bed and probably mine as well for not reporting it to her." But when Meredith realised that Alex's breathing was yet again only shallow and he was on the verge of fainting she stopped cursing him and moved everything in place to administer the meds that Dr. Bailey had prescribed for him.

While working on inserting his IV Meredith tried to reason with him again.

"Seriously Alex, you can't even get off the floor without my help. Do you really think it's a great choice to visit your sister now? Can't it wait until tomorrow? You're fever is still pretty high and you're at risk of catching pneumonia if you keep wandering the halls."

"Do you seriously think I don't know that Grey?" He asked. "I take my chances" He said quietly, wondering what she might think, which was really strange, because he never cared what other people thought about him. But apparently he cared what Meredith Grey thought.

"You're just too damn stubborn Alex!"

"I just know what I want" He responded to her accusation, trying to sound cocky, but not really succeeding.

"Then you owe me. And you can pay your debt by trading me 2 of your surgeries for the pit!"

"Deal" Alex agreed after hesitating for a few moments. The pain meds had already brought some relieve and he was slowly starting to feel better. Even tough he still felt sleepy as hell and, like Meredith predicted, his fever had risen over the past hour, what made him sweat a little. But finally nothing would stand in the way of seeing his sister. He had to get answers and he would only get them from her.

I just love Meredith's and Alex's dynamic. I hope you enjoyed it!