Disclaimer: Nope, not mine! Look elsewhere.

Author Notes: This is a true conversation that happened between me and a poor tech service guy named Don, ironically. I have had to change a few things like the moving to New York bit but other than that it's completely true.

And yes every now and then I show how much of a true blonde I am and not check the most obvious things in the world.

Formatting and minor editing: 8/18/14

Tech Support

"Hello, this is Donatello. How can I help you today?"

"You're way too chipper to be answering the phone this early in the morning."

Unsure of what to say to a remark like that Don stuttered out, "Umm… Well…"

"Wait your name is Donatello? Like the sculptor?"

"Yes."

"Didn't he beat people with sticks or something? Do you beat people with sticks?"

"W-what?! No!? I-I…Umm…" How had she known?

"Ooookaaay. You can't trace this phone call, right? I have no interest in being beaten with your stick. Unless, of course, you're hot."

"WHAT?!" Don's jaw dropped open and he was glad he had been sitting down at that moment. As it was, he had almost fallen out of his chair.

Laughter filled the line for a moment, "Anyways," the girl seemed to compose herself a little more. "My computer won't work."

Taking a semi calming breath, Donatello forced himself to forget what had just happened and got down to the job at hand. "Is there anything on the screen?"

"Besides my fist? Nothing."

"Your fist?"

"You have no idea how close I am to just punching it and then throwing it out the window."

She was making no sense in Don's opinion. He sighed, "Besides what your imagination is showing you, what's on the screen?"

"I think you need another cup of coffee or something," Don looked guiltily around at the empty cups of coffee sitting around him. He really didn't need any more coffee today, two pots were more than enough even for him. "You're really snippy."

"Uh… I'm sorry?"

"Don't worry about it. It can't be easy dealing with us unworthy of the techno geek mindset, especially when it comes to explaining things over the phone."

"Heh," Don thought back to all the calls he had taken with an irate customer freaking out about their computers not working right. "You could say that again."

"Umm… Okay, it can't be easy dealing with us unworthy of the techno geek mindset, especially when it comes to explaining things over the phone."

Don blinked and then looked at one of the empty cups nearby. Maybe he did need another cup of coffee. Either that or she needed to cut back. "I was agreeing with you-"

"See what I mean? You're being snippy. Grow a pair why don'tcha?"

"Wha-"

"Anyways, back to the problem at hand. My computer screen is coming up black. And before you even ask, yes it's on, the cord's plugged in and the task manager box won't even come up."

'Well even if she was a little psychotic at least she had some technical skills,' Donatello thought to himself as he went over the probably causes in the back of his mind. "What kind of computer is this? PC or Mac?"

"PC, it's a Compaq. R4000."

He blinked, "It's a laptop?"

"Did you just know that off the top of your head? Or do you have physic powers?"

"I knew that off the top of my head. There should be a little rubber switch up near the top right of the key board, is that being held down by anything?"

"Rubber switch? Are you trying to have phone bondage with me?!"

"NO!" Don was horrified that this girl even would think of such a thing let alone accuse him of it. "It's a rubber switch! Honest!"

"Next you're going to beat me with your stick too! You're one disgusting pervert, Donatello!"

"Ma'ma, I meant nothing by that statement other then there is a little gray switch up near the top of your keyboard that can shut the screen down if pressed!"

"...Oh, you mean like a light switch. Sorry. I thought you meant the other kind of switch."

Don slapped a hand of his face in frustration and he began to wonder if Renet was on the other end of this phone line. Whoever it was sure acted a lot like her. "Don't worry about it," he mumbled.

"Now I feel bad for embarrassing you like that," she said sounding sympathetic. "Where do you live?"

"Uhh…"

"Hey at least I won't beat you with a stick. That's a promise."

"Why do you want to know?"

"I'll take you out to coffee if I can. It's not everyday a techno geek can get an offer like that from a girl like me."

After a moment's hesitation, Donatello said "New York City." He didn't think the girl would be crazy enough to actually go through with her plan.

Or was she?

"Sweet I'm moving there next week. Is there anyway I can get a hold of you to schedule a meeting?"

"Wait a second," Donatello said trying to back out of what he had just gotten into. "I thought you were joking."

"Nope, I'm being serious. Obviously you don't know me that well."

'How do I get into these messes?' He thought to himself. "Well, we can't-"

"Why not? Company polices? We can just say we knew each other before."

"It's not that. It's just-"

"Come on, loosen up a little. I promise not to bite. Unless of course you're hot, then you're open game."

Donatello went out on a limb. She might forget after all and it would apparently make her feel better if she thought it was helping him, "I guess I could give you my cell-"

"Awesome! Spill the beans geek, I'm listening." After rattling off his shell cell number, Donatello was surprised when she said, "I'll see you next week then Don."

"Wait, what about your computer?"

"Computer? Oh right, my computer. Heh. Sorry, kinda forgot about that. The little rubber thing was stuck. I pried it out with a pair of tweezers a while ago."

Don felt his jaw drop, "So half this conversation was a total waste of time?"

"Waste of time?!" the girl squawked indigently. "You call getting a date with me and helping me fix my computer a waste of time?! Just for that I'm going to kick you so hard in the balls they pop out your mouth!"

He didn't think that was anatomically possible but Donatello didn't want to take any chances. "By the time you move you'll forget all about me so I doubt I have date schedule with you."

She laughed and then sounding very serious said, "Keep thinking that, Donatello. Have a good day!" Then she hung up.

Donatello realized that he was more scared then he had ever been in his whole life. He should have given her a fake number, or maybe Casey's or Raph's. He had a date. Maybe. At least he hoped not. He reminded himself that the girl would probably forget him in an hour or two. His headset beeped again and he sighed. Hopefully it would be just another irate man complaining about his phone line and not some crazed girl trying to trick him into a date.

-Break-

Several states away, a fanfiction author hung up the phone and gazed back at her laptop, now running perfectly. She cracked her fingers as she got ready for a night of excessive typing that would eventually lead to tendonitis later in her life. As she opened a blank word document, a single thought ran through her head.

What if that had really been the ninja turtle Donatello on the other end of that call?

She began to type, next to her on the desk was a post-it note with a phone number scribbled on it and then circled.

~Fin~