That Kid
Alternate ending for "That Bastard". Really, another excuse for Matt torture and John/Matt. Definitely slash this time.
Warning: Profanity. Sexuality and non-graphic sex.
Everything feels all wrong. It felt like he knew what was supposed to happen next but it didn't end like that. He wouldn't make up with Bowman. That is fucked up. Bowman is there, shaking him, telling him that Matt died. His voice doesn't sound right. He says John's name like Matt. But Matt's dead. He's been dead for months...years?
"McClane. McClane. John."
John says it even before he's opened his eyes. "Matt? Is that you?" Is it really you? His hands seek evidence, snaking across the bed. His hands connect with smooth flesh and John sighs contentedly. He doesn't even realise that he's squeezing Matt's hand, his unbroken and unblemished hand until Matt squeezes back affectionately. John brings the pale digits to his face, kissing them.
"Have you been sleeping with someone else?" Matt says with a raised eyebrow, propping himself up on an elbow awkwardly so he can see John's face more clearly. Even his underlying tone is not of jealousy but of a naive, endearing, sort of curiosity. John wonders how Matt face is so... open. John is glad that the kid would be a terrible liar.
"Would that bother you?" John teases.
Matt shakes his head, his chocolate curls falling into his eyes. "I'd feel sorry for them because you're mumbling my name in your sleep." Matt's eyes show concern. He just doesn't want to fuss over McClane because he figures that John isn't that kind of guy. "I trust you," he says simply as if nothing else mattered.
John looks away, remembering Matt's eyes when he was being tortured. He trusted John then too.
Matt doesn't ask any questions, doesn't say anything. A quick glance at the clock tells him it's three in the morning. He figures that John will talk about it when he's ready or maybe never.
In the mean time, he lets John pin him to the bed. Matt gives an undignified, surprised squeak as a warm and soft mouth licks his shoulder. John is always aggressive after having those night dreams, visions, memories, whatever they are – Matt knows that he wouldn't hurt him. John always takes care of him. Sometimes he acts like he has to make sure that Matt is still real, still there with him. Sometimes apologies spill out and he talks about things that Matt doesn't remember. Matt restrains himself from commenting, even if this is the third or fourth time this week that it's happened. Matt knows that John doesn't fall asleep after he's woken up even though he's exhausted. He offers to stay up with John but John just shakes his head and holds Matt until he falls asleep mumbling algorithms. He knows John's needs. Just like when John finds his clammy body clinging to him on the other nights, his left leg cramping painfully, trying to bury his face in the perfect spot between his lover's neck and shoulder. John pretends that he can't feel the tears soaking his skin. Instead he kisses the mop of brown hair, letting the familiar smell of Matt anchor him in this fucked up, wonderful world.
All criticism welcome.
AN: I will say I really hate strongly dislike "and I woke up and it was all a dream" fics but occasionally, they are alright. I hope you'll forgive me for this one.