A/N: Yay, my second Hänschen/Ernst fic:D With this one I could probably get banned from if I posted the whole thing. There is smut at the end of this, so if you'd like to indulge yourself in the boy porn, send me a PM! I'll be more than happy to direct you to it. Enjoy, and leave a review!
He always wondered what it felt like. He had heard stories from Melchior Gabor, but he wanted to feel it for himself. Once, just once in Ernst's life, he wanted to feel things everyone else felt. He wanted to feel normal.
But he knew he wasn't normal. Not the way he looked at other boys the way he did. He would be in church on Sundays, chastising himself for the way he looked at Hänschen. He'd force himself to think about his future as a country pastor, with his wife and his library and his chickens… But then Hänschen would take him to the vineyard after church. Hänschen would kiss him, and somehow he'd always manage to change his mind. Hänschen would make him feel like nothing was wrong with him, that these feelings he had were right.
It was Sunday. After church let out, he waited for Hänschen at their secret place in the vineyard. He leaned against a tree, their tree, his knees up against his chest. Ernst turned his gaze toward the sky, watching as the clouds swirled into different shapes.
"Haven't I told you not to look sad?" Ernst probably wouldn't have noticed him there if it weren't for the leaves crunching against Hänschen's boots.
"Hänschen!" Ernst yelped, snapping out of his daze. He stood up, hands in his pockets, unsure of what to say to the blonde boy.
"'Hänschen!' is all I get? That's no way to greet me, Ernst," he spoke coyly as he stepped closer to Ernst against the tree.
"Sorry," he said softly. "You frightened me is all. I was just thinking about things…" he trailed off, losing himself in Hänschen's green eyes.
"Thinking? I didn't think people did that anymore. Frowning doesn't suit you, Ernst," he said as he traced along Ernst's lips. Hänschen smiled at the other boy, gently pressing their lips together.
Ernst's wide eyes fluttered closed involuntarily, and he could feel his frown melting away. He pulled Hänschen closer to him, moaning into their kiss. Behind his eyelids he dreamed the same dream he always did: their bodies stuck together with sweat, their fingers laced together, the… oh god.
Ernst pulled away, trying to catch his breath. "H-Hänschen," he stuttered, voice almost a whimper. He bit his lip, feeling his pants start to constrict. He didn't know how much longer he could stand it.
"What is it?" Hänschen asked, tracing along Ernst's lip again.
"I-I…" Ernst didn't know if he could say it. He'd never been one to take risks, but he definitely believed in the motto 'there's a first time for everything.' Ernst unbuttoned his shirt, peeling it off his shoulders. He took Hänschen's hand, letting it trace the contours of his chest. He started to guide it further, stopping at the heat in his pants. "Touch me," he whispered against Hänschen's ear, guiding Hänschen's hand under the fabric of Ernst's pants.
Hänschen grinned. He didn't need Ernst to say anything more.