How Do You Like Them Apples!
Basinga Productions
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note but I do own… Cheese cologne it's cheeselicious.
Wolflink93: Okay I would like to start out by saying… Why does every anime or book that I read have an apple in it! Or everywhere I look I see an apple somewhere! This happened to me one day at school, where I looked up from a book that I'm currently reading called Twilight and bam theres a poster near the teachers desk with an apple on it! And note, the book Twilight has a person holding an apple for the cover! Then there's Death Note… enough said. This is a story about when Light has a day full of apples… let's read about it. Let the story begin!
It was 6 o'clock at the Yagami household which meant that one boy had to get ready for school.
"Hm, what?" Light mumbled, lifting his head off his desk. Light had yet again fallen asleep from writing so many names in the Death Note. After all, the world won't cleanse itself.
"Must have fallen asleep again, writing names in the Death Note." Light said, walking over to his closet for a change of clothes, so that he could shower and get ready for school. After he was done with that, he started to head down stairs, with Ryuk following him.
"So, Light, do you have any plans to get rid of L?" Ryuk asked.
"Not today. Today I'm just going to relax. After all a god needs to take a break too." Light whispered, so his parents couldn't hear.
"Oh, Light, come and sit down and eat breakfast before you go to school." Light's mom said, smiling.
"Sorry, mom, can't I need to get to school before I'm late," Light said, walking over to get two apples, one to eat on his way to school, and another to give to Ryuk. "This should be enough." He said, showing his mom the two apples. His mom sighed.
"Okay, Light, I'll see you later after school." His mom said, giving Light a kiss on the cheek.
"Okay, mom." Light said, walking out the door to school, and taking a bite out of the apple. As soon as he did, Light had a feeling that today wasn't going to be normal.
"And that's how babys are made." The English teacher explained.
"Why are we talking about this again?" One of the students asked wide eyed.
"So you don't fuck up your life like I did." The teacher explained, throwing an apple at the students head. Light was looking out the window, as usual. Until he was distracted by the flying apple, that hit the student right next to him, covering him with apple juice.
"Now go clean your self up," The teacher said, pointing at the door. "And if a teacher asks?"
"I peed and missed." The student said, walking out the door looking dejected. Ryuk was near the teacher's desk wondering where the apple came from.
"I must know his secret!" Ryuk yelled.
"Now, class, next hour, some of you will be going to a new class that the school is experimenting with. If it works out it will be a new hour. So have fun." The teacher said, with a mono tone like voice. After he said that, as if planned by another being, the bell rang signaling students to go to their next hour.
Hmm, I wonder what the next class is. Light thought, walking into an open door with Ryuk in front. For some reason Ryuk stopped half way as if he were in heaven. There were apples hanging by the ceiling, attached to it with white strings. And there were posters on the wall that said "Apples are fun!"
"Is this… heaven?" Ryuk said, awed.
"No it's school." Light said walking around Ryuk to see what it was. The teacher in the room saw him walk through the door, and smiled.
"Welcome, to Appleology, the study of apples," The teacher said. "What is your name?" He said.
"I'm Light." Light said, walking over to an empty desk and sitting down.
"I like apples… Do you like apples?"
"Somewhat yes."
"Good… because you're going to be here for a long time!" The teacher exclaimed, with a demon like tone in his voice. Light blinked and said.
"Okay?" After a few minutes, all of the students were seated, also getting the same greeting Light got.
"Hello, class, my name is Mr. Applebottom." The teacher greeted.
"Hello." The whole class, including Light, said in a mono tone voice.
"Let us begin by showing you guys a video," Applebottom said, throwing the chalk board, that was on the wall, away to reveal a 50 inch wide screen TV. "This thing gets cable." He said turning it on and then turning off the lights.
TV World…
"Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill Nye the Science Guy!" The TV blared, with Bill appearing on the screen.
"Did you know… that apples can make… apple juice?" Bill asked.
Real World…
Everybody nodded there head yes, as if that was an obvious question.
TV World…
"Of course you would know that, but just in case I'm going to show you how apple juice is made." Bill said.
Real World…
Light just stared at the TV screen as if it were going to explode.
Note to self, write down Bill's name when this is done and over. Light thought to himself, he then looked over at Ryuk, getting an idea. Ryuk of course was oblivious to what Light was thinking because he was staring intently at an apple. Light looked back toward the TV.
"How would you like to go out for dinner sometime?" Ryuk said, sexily, licking the apple. Light turned his head back toward Ryuk to whisper something, only to have his voice stuck in his throat, seeing what Ryuk was doing. Ryuk felt Light staring at him.
"What?" Ryuk said, oblivious to what he just did.
"Nothing, I just want to ask you to do something for me." Light whispered.
"What would that be?"
"I'll get you a basket full of apples, if when I give you the signal you change the channel on the TV."
"Why would I do that? I like watching you suffer." Ryuk said, laughing.
"Because if you don't I'll deprive you of apples." Light whispered. Ryuk stopped laughing, and looked over at Light squinting his eyes.
"You wouldn't dare." Ryuk said.
"Try me." Light whispered, looking at Ryuk who was squinting his eyes. The two kept this staring contest going, until Ryuk sighed.
"Fine, what's the signal?" Ryuk asked, crossing his arms and pouting.
"When I tap my chin twice change the channel." Light explained. Ryuk then walked toward the TV, and stood there waiting for the signal.
TV World…
"Apples!" Bill screamed, forcing an apple down his pants.
Real World…
After seeing that Light immediately tapped his chin twice, Ryuk saw it and changed it to the food network channel. Applebottom didn't see this since he was taking a nap on his desk. Emrel chef was on.
TV World…
"Let's just add a little bit more apples to this," Emrel said, pulling out an apple. "BAM!" he yelled, throwing the apple at the lasagna, making apple juice go all over the camera screen, obscuring the view, with the audience cheering him on.
Real World…
Light tapped his chin twice again, with the students in the room wondering what the hell is going on. Ryuk saw the signal and changed the channel. It was a commercial for Cocoa Puffs.
TV World…
An orange bird appeared on the screen looking like he was on crack.
"I'm coo coo for Cocoa Puffs." The bird yelled, with the Cocoa Puffs logo appearing on the screen.
"Now, with 20 percent more apple." An announcer immediately said. With the bird looking like he was going crazy from being deprived Cocoa Puffs.
Real World…
"I can feel your pain, man!" Ryuk exclaimed, looking at the screen with tears in his eyes.
"I didn't know Cocoa Puffs had apples in it." Light said, wide eyed.
"They do… see." A student next to him said, pulling out a cereal box from under his desk, showing Light the ingredients. And he was right, right next to crack was apples.
"Wait, crack!?" Light exclaimed, looking at the TV screen, only to see the bird crush some Cocoa Puffs in his hands, and then snorting the crumbs. Light then looked over toward the student.
"Wait, why do you carry a cereal box with you?"
"I like my cereal." The student said, creepily, twisting his head slowly to the right until you could hear a crack. After seeing that, Light immediately tapped his chin twice. Ryuk after seeing this changed the channel to a commercial for Apple Jacks.
TV World…
It was showing what appeared to be a long stick of cinnamon, with a colorful hat on his head, with long strips of hair flowing out of it for some odd reason. It also showed an apple racing along side him. The cinnamon then jumped into the cereal before the apple could reach it saying.
"The cinnamon wins again mon." He said, turning into powdered cinnamon.
"Aw, dang it!" The apple exclaimed.
Real World…
"That is so racist," Ryuk said, angrily, because the apple didn't win. "Why don't they call it Cinnamon Jacks when it doesn't even taste like apple?" The shinigami said. Light, ignoring Ryuk's statement, looked over to the kid next to him who was moaning. The student had a box of Apple Jack's spreading them all over his body.
"Cinnamon." The student moaned. Light stared wide eyed, tapping his chin twice. Ryuk changed it to a channel with the logo Fruits Basket appearing on the screen. Light saw this and tapped his chin twice again. Changing to a commercial for lemonade.
TV World…
"Lemonade," a female voice sexily said, with it showing a pitcher of lemonade being poured into a tall glass. "Now with a hint of apple." The announcer said, with a giant apple falling on the glass of lemonade.
Real World…
Light tapped his chin twice, sweat rolling down his forehead. Ryuk changed the channel again to the news channel.
TV World…
"Scientist have discovered a cure for the common cold." The news reporter said, like a sexy school girl.
Real World…
Finally something without apples. Light thought, relaxing in his chair.
TV World…
"The cure… is apples." The news reporter said, with the TV screen showing a clip where a person infected with the common cold was being drenched in apple juice. Then an announcer appeared on the screen saying in a high pitched spiritual like voice.
"Apples… It's good for yo soul."
Real World…
Light was now rocking back and forth in his seat, sucking on his thumb. Ryuk, now knowing that Light was scarred for life, walked back over to Light's desk, returning to his conversation with the apple.
"Now where was I?" Ryuk sexily said, tapping the apple.
"Apples, apples, apples, apples, apples, apples." Light repeated, still rocking back and forth. The bell rang signaling for everyone for lunch.
"It's time for some cereal!" The student next to Light exclaimed, standing up and walking out the door. Light then stood up and walked out the door for lunch. The teacher then told everyone good bye looking out at the hall. He turned back to see that all the apples that were on strings were gone.
"Who took my apples?" He screeched evilly.
Light, still in a trance, was in the line for food. Today they were serving apple pie with a side order of apple cobbler and apples. Light took a tray and went to sit at his table only to see L there.
"Hello, Ryuzaki." Light said, walking over to the table and sat down still in a trance.
"Did something happen Light?" L asked, concerned.
"Apples." Light said.
"What about apples?"
"Apples."
"Light, what about apples?"
"Apples."
"Oh do you mean that new class. What was it called again, Appleology?" L said. Light nodded walking up to throw away his food.
"I heard it was a good class."L said.
"No it's bad." Light said, sitting back down.
"What are you going to do about it?" L asked.
"I don't know." Light said, turning around to look behind him, he saw an apple on a deserted table. He then turned back around to L and then back around, to see it on another deserted table.
"Well, see you later Light." L said, standing up and walking out the lunch room doors, doing… whatever he does. Light then noticed that the room was empty except for Light, Ryuk, and the apple. Light turned back around to see the apple on a chair across the room. The light was shining on it almost as if it were watching him. Ryuk walked over to it and ate the apple with a loud 'crunch'. Light stood up and walked out the door to get the school day over with.
The rest of the day was normal except for the water fountains were now apple fountains. And for math they had to count, measure, and eat apples. Light was now on a bus from school to get home so he could take a nap. Today he just didn't feel like writing names down.
Light was looking out the window when he suddenly had the urge to turn around. What he saw surprised him. There was an apple on a top of the seat. The apple was 3 seats away from him.
What the hell is going on!? Light thought turning back around then turning back to see the apple was 2 seats away from him. Light looked over to Ryuk who looked back also wondering the same thing.
What's going on!? Light looked away from Ryuk and saw the apple was 1 seat away. Light was now starting to freak out wondering what the apple had up its stem. He turned back around to see the apple was gone, but felt a weight on his head.
"Light, the apples on your head." Ryuk said, pointing above Light's head. Light looked forward and saw a guy with a bow and arrow aiming for the apple.
"Stand still." The guy said. The guy pulled the arrow back and released it. The arrow shot forward at a fast speed, hitting the apple, making it hit the bulls eye that was right next to where the bus driver was. The bus driver looked at it, took the apple, and ate it.
"Yummy apple." The driver murmured. Light saw it was his stop and ran out the bus doors, running home, opening the door, and immediately ran in slamming the door and bolting it. His mom was out shopping, and his sister was still at school, while his father was working on the Kira case so Light was home alone. Ryuk fazed through the wall next to him.
"Light, can I have my apple now?" Ryuk asked. Light slowly looked over at him like he just grew two heads. Then after a while of staring at Ryuk, Light walked over and got an apple from the fridge and brought it to Ryuk. Ryuk reached for the apple with tears in his eyes. Before Ryuk could get it Light threw it to the ground.
"How do you like them apples!?" Light screamed, hyperventilating. After a few minutes of Light hyperventilating Ryuk broke the silence.
"A lot." Ryuk murmured.
"Okay." Light said, walking to his room for a much needed nap.
Wolflink93: There you go. I needed to get this off my chest so I hope you liked it. I might think of continuing this story with Light trying to take down Applepology, if I get enough reviews. So on that note, please review!