864 Words, Remus/Tonks

Remus transforms into his werewolf every full moon and never lets Tonks watch, but Tonks wants to see him transform into the wolf.

A/N: This isn't quite as long as I'd like it to be, and I rarely write anything Harry Potter related, but this kind of started with a little free write of mine one day and just grew into a nice enough sized one shot.

Tonks Watched

He always told her to leave him alone while he transformed. Remus didn't want Tonks to see. It was one thing for her to see him as a werewolf, but another thing entirely to see him transform into one. Remus could only shudder at the thought of Tonks seeing him burst out in fur. His spine bending and twisting and his terrible howls of pains was not a sight Remus wanted his Dora too watch. His Dora on the other hand wanted to see. She wanted to really know what Remus went through every full moon. She wanted them to share everything, and everything included Remus' transformations.

Remus told her, like he always did before descending into the basement, "Five minutes. I'll be back up in five minutes." He had no idea that Tonks wasn't going to wait five minutes. Remus smiled at her and descended into the basement, closing the door behind him. This time was different though. Tonks wasn't going to wait for Remus to reemerge a fully formed werewolf. She opened the basement door and tiptoed down behind him.

Remus was standing in the center of the basement, waiting for the moonlight filtering through the window to hit him. He had his eyes closed and was focusing, preparing himself for the painful werewolf transformation when he heard the creek of the bottom stair.

Tonks froze and looked, wide eyed at Remus as he turned to face her. This was not what she wanted. Nymphadora Tonks had fully intended for Remus not to know she was there. She'd planned to watch him transform, and since he was a werewolf he would not remember going back up the basement stairs with her rather than alone. Now, both of them human, they were face to face.

Tonks' face looked horror struck, Remus noted. She looked slightly guilty as though she were a small child trying to steal a cookie and he'd ruined her plan. "Dora," Remus choked out, "Please go back upstairs." He didn't want her to see. It was the last thing in the world he wanted because surely after seeing him transform Tonks would not love him anymore. She'd finally see the monster Remus had tried so hard to convince her he was. Remus was about to lead her back upstairs when he felt a familiar tingle in his foot. He looked, horrified down at the inch of moonlight spread across his bare toes and then back up at Tonks. Then Remus felt it. He instantly began to feel his bones expend and the crushing breathlessness and a stinging in his skin. Remus couldn't help but think that his Dora would hate him now.

Tonks watched Remus' back curve. She saw as he fell onto all fours on the ground and listened to him scream. She didn't dare more forward to help him, because what if just merely touching him hurt him more? Her poor, poor Remus was in so much pain and there was nothing Tonks could do to take that pain away. Tonks slid down onto the steps to sit and placed her hands over her face. She watched him through gaps in her fingers and felt tears overflowing from her eyes. Her poor Remus was now growing brown fur and his face was elongating into a snout. Clawed paws scraped the concrete ground in a futile attempt to make the pain stop. He turned his around to snap at his hind legs which were just finishing their transformation. Somewhere along Remus' screams had transformed into pained howls and then it was over. The canine form of Remus Lupin stood before her, eyeing her with pleading in his gaze.

The werewolf couldn't help but feel terrible. Now Dora hated him and he knew it. There was, in Remus' opinion, nothing more horrifying than watching a person turn into a beast. He gazed at her with what he was sure was futile pleading. He hoped beyond hope that his Dora loved him still. Even though he hoped Remus the werewolf was fully expecting her to curse at him, to run away from him. He was shocked when she moved forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. Tonks sobbed into Remus fur and stroked his back. Remus couldn't believe it, but his Dora still cared.

The brown fur of Remus' werewolf felt soft and warm, as it always did, beneath Tonks' head. She cried for Remus and his pain as she ran her hands through his fur, and not for the first time wondered why him? Tonks could never understand why something as terrible as being bitten had happened to Remus Lupin. He was too kind, too smart, and too good; he was the last person in the world who deserved the physical and emotional pain of being a werewolf. Tonks sniffled and muttered into his fur, "I love you Remus. No matter what, I love you." She felt the werewolf's head turn and looked into its amber eyes. They stared back at her, a different color maybe, but every bit as human as Remus' eyes normally were. They said everything back to her that she knew he wanted to say.