Disclaimer: I do not own PoT.
takari love: Hi there..., This is just a one-shot I wrote for Valentine's Day... It was also an impromptu fic. I wrote it while listening to the song, Canon in D by Johann Pachelbel. Somehow, I found that song sad though some parts are quite happy..o.0 Well, like I said, this was an impromptu fic so the plot wasn;t thought out well and well, you could say this fic is no was near good...I think. But I don't want to give negative comments about fics I wrote or readers won't read it too, ne? So well, I'll let you decide whether it's good or bad... Happy reading! u
Guidelines:
"..."- Normal
'...'- thoughts
"..." - flashback
It's Time To Let Me Go
xoxoxoxoxox
Ryoma's POV
I was walking down the hall of the Seijou University. I am Echizen Ryoma, senior student of Psychology Department at Seijou University. The freshmen and juniors greeted me as they passed by.
"Ryoma-senpai," a girl I recognized as Haruzawa Mika, a second year student from the Psychology Department.
"Hai," I said as I stopped walking. Mika was in front of me.
"Uh, I was wondering…if you would like to have this," Mika said, holding out a red box decorated with white and golden ribbons towards me.
"Haruzawa-san," I said, a little surprised. Then, I remembered. Today was 13th of February, the day before Valentine's Day. I sighed. 'I can't believe it's been that long already.' I looked at Mika. "Haruzawa-san, I-"
Mika cut in, "Just accept it, senpai," she said. "I know that your heart is closed but just accept this chocolate, as a friend."
I nodded my head and Mika smiled, putting the box in my hand. After saying, "Ja ne," she walked passed me, leaving me staring at the box of chocolate. A memory returned to him.
Seventeen year-old Ryoma and nineteen year-old Tezuka were walking home after having a tennis match. Although they were walking in silence but both were content. Even in the silent, they seem to know what the other is thinking about. A smiled plastered on both their face.Suddenly, Tezuka made a turn at the park. Although he was confused, he just followed the former Seigaku tennis team captain, his lover.
"Kunimitsu," Ryoma said as he followed Tezuka's action by sitting on the bench.
"Hai, Ryoma?" Tezuka asked.
"Why are we here?" the shorter boy asked.
"Just enjoying the breeze," the first year student at Seijou Academy Law Department answered.
Ryoma raised his eyebrow. "Seriously, Kunimitsu," he said.
"I have something serious to ask you," Tezuka said, looking at Ryoma seriously for quite some time without saying anything.
"Kunimitsu, don't scare me."
"Echizen Ryoma, do you like chocolates?" he asked in a monotone voice.
"Huh?" Ryoma said. He twitched. "Tezuka Kunimitsu," he growled. "I thought it was something serious!"
Tezuka chuckled and gave the Seigaku High School buchou a light kiss on the lips. "Gomen," he said.
"Kuni-bu, we've been going out for two years," Ryoma said, calling Tezuka by his nickname. "You should know by now."
"I just wanted everything to be perfect."
Ryoma raised an eyebrow. "You want WHAT to be perfect?"
"Himitsu," the older teen said and although how stubborn Ryoma is, he didn't ask any further because he knew Tezuka was equally stubborn.
Three days later, it was a Saturday. On that day, school was only half-day. He also knew Tezuka had no classes that day. When Ryoma tried calling Tezuka, he didn't answer his cell phone. Ryoma tried for a couple more times till he decided to just leave a voice mail.
'I wonder why he didn't answer his cell phone,' Ryoma thought. If memories served him correctly, after the day at the park, he had never spent more than one hour with his koibito.
After returning home from school and sleep, he decided to go to the second place he liked best; the Street Tennis Court.
"Ryoma, where are you going?" his mother asked.
"Street Tennis Court," Ryoma answered.
"Make sure to be home before it's too late," Rinko told his son before he exited the house.
On the way to the Street Tennis Court, he bumped into Kikumaru and Oishi. "Ochibi," the red-haired acrobatic player said and began to jump on Ryoma.
"Syuichiro-senpai," Ryoma said, looking at his ex fukubuchou.
"Eiji," Oishi said, prying Kikumaru off Ryoma. "You don't want to run 300 hundreds laps if Tezuka accidentally saw this, would you?"
Immediately, Kikumaru let go of Ryoma and jumped on Oishi instead. "Ochibi, join Syuichiro and I for sushi, nya," the redhead said. "We're going to Taka-san's place."
"Yeah," Oishi said. "It's been awhile since we could hang out together."
"But I was going to play tennis," Ryoma told them.
"Please, ochibi," Kikumaru pleaded. "Oishi's going to treat us, nya," he said and a big sweat drop appeared at the back of Oishi's head.
Ryoma sighed. "Alright," he said. Besides, he's not crazy enough to decline free food.
"So, Ryoma," Oishi asked, "How's your relationship with Tezuka?"
"Fine," Ryoma answered after putting an anago sushi in his mouth.
"That's great," Oishi replied.
Ryoma looked at his ex-senpai. "Syuichiro-senpai, you went to same university as Kunimitsu-buchou, ne?" Oishi nodded his head. "Then, why are you asking me this question?"
Oishi just laughed sheepishly but didn't say anything.
"Hey, ochibi," Kikumaru said, coming to Oishi's rescue. "What are you going to give Tezuka for Valentine's Day?"
Ryoma accidentally choke on his sushi, and Oishi, being the mother hen he is, quickly passed a glass of water to Ryoma and began fussing over him.
"Syuichiro-senpai, I'm fine," Ryoma said, after drinking the water.
"So, ochibi, you haven't answer my question," Kikumaru looked at Ryoma. Ryoma just kept his mouth shut.
"You haven't even bought anything, have you?" Oishi concluded.
'Damn right, Syuichiro-senpai,' Ryoma thought. "So?"
"Well, you better by something quick, ochibi," Kikumaru said. "Valentine's Day in three days."
'You don't need to remind me, Eiji-senpai,' Ryoma thought grimly. 'No wonder the girls at school were all giddy and cheerful.' Ryoma stood up. "It's nice to hang out with you again, Syuichiro-senpai, Eiji-senpai," he bowed in front of his ex-senpai. "Thanks for the food," he said and began walking out of the store.
"Come again later, okay, Echizen," Taka said. Ryoma just nodded his head before closing the door.
'What should I buy for Kunimitsu?' Ryoma thought. But, after thinking for awhile, nothing came to Ryoma's mind.
"Echizen-senpai, Echizen-senpai," a boy called out my name thus snapping me out of my thought.
"Hai," I said, turning to see who it was. It was Umiyo Akito, a first year from the Art Department, also an ex-Seigaku Regular.
"You were lost in thought," Akito pointed out.
"Mada mada dane," I said my famous remark before continued to where I was heading.
"What did I do?" the poor boy thought, standing alone at the hallway.
'Che, it rained so suddenly,' I thought as I took shelter at the bus stop.
"Ryoma," I heard a familiar voice calling my name. I turned and saw… "Syuichiro-senpai," I said. Even though technically he's not my senior anymore but I'm used to calling him 'senpai'.
"What a coincidence," Oishi said to me.
"What are you doing here, senpai?"
"Sheltering from the rain," he answered as if that's obvious.
I gave him a look that said 'Duh!' "I know you're taking shelter, senpai. What I meant is, what are you doing here in Kantou?"
"Why don't we talk at the coffee shop," Oishi told me. "It's more comfortable there, and besides, it's my treat."
I sighed. 'Syuichiro-senpai knew me too well.'
"Well," I said as I looked at Oishi, waiting for his answer.
"I'm here to visit Eiji," Oishi replied.
"So, you and Eiji-senpai are still going steady, huh?" I asked.
"Yes," Oishi answered. "Actually I wanted to propose."
"Good for you, Syuichiro-senpai," I told Seigaku's ex-fukubuchou.
"Ryoma, are you still…"
"Feeling guilty?" I said before Oishi could say anything. "Well, yeah, I'm still feeling guilty."
"That's not what I was going to say," Oishi told me.
"What DO you want to say, Syuichiro-senpai?" I asked.
"Ryoma, it happened five years ago," Oishi said. "You have to…let go."
"I can't," I said, my voice barely above whisper.
Oishi sighed. "Very well then," he said. He took something out of his bag and gave it to me. It was a card with my name written on it.
"Eiji gave it to me just now. He told me to give it to you if there's a chance I bumped into you," Oishi told me when he saw my confused look. "The Seigaku's Regulars are going to have a reunion tomorrow."
"Why didn't they just mail it to me?" I asked.
"You would just throw it away, right?" Oishi said.
'Damn right,' I thought.
"Ryoma, you've been running away from everyone since that incident," Oishi told me. "Everyone misses you so…"
By now, it had stopped raining.
"I don't know if I'm ready, Syuichiro-senpai," I said, standing up. "Thanks for the drink," I told him before bowing and left.
"Ryoma, I hope you could see that nobody is blaming you," Oishi said to himself.
'Damn Syuichiro,' I thought. 'Why did I have to bump into him?'
It's funny how people always find times run quickly when their not paying attention. I sighed as I entered my house.
"Seishounen, is that you?" my baka oyaji asked while he looked at his 'ecchi' magazine.
"Tadaima," I muttered, walking up to my room.
"One of your friends stopped by today," Nanjiroh said when I was walking up the stairs. I stopped for awhile before resuming my way up. "I think it was the Regular during your freshman year at Seigaku, the one with the split personalities. He said something about reunion."
"Mada mada dane," I said.
Nanjiroh smiled. "You'll open up your heart again soon, seishounen."
The next day, when I woke up, the birds were chirping and the sun was high in the sky. I looked at the clock at my bedside table. It was 11 a.m. already. 'Why didn't okaa-san woke me up?' I thought. Then, I remembered, "Today's a holiday; Valentine's Day."
I took my bath and changed into my t-shirt and pants. When I went to the kitchen, I saw my mother there but my father was nowhere in sight.
"Where's oyaji?" I asked, slipping on my seat.
"He's at the temple already," Rinko told me as she put my breakfast in front of me. "So, Ryoma, going anywhere special today?" she asked, sitting in front of me.
"Nope," I answered simply, "just street tennis."
"Oh, but I thought today was your reunion with the Seigaku Regulars during your freshmen year."
"How did you know about the reunion?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Ryuzaki-san called, telling us about it," Rinko told me.
After finishing my scrambled eggs and bacon, I stood up and said, "I'm not going to the reunion." After that, I went out of the house, saying, "Goodbye."
"Ryoma…" Rinko said.
When I arrived at the Street Tennis Court, I saw some teens playing. But, one person caught my eyes. When that person saw me, she smiled and waved at my direction.
"Ryoma-san," she called out. It was Tachibana Ann, sister of Tachibana Kippei.
I decided to walk towards her. "It's been so long since we last met," Ann said. "Are you here to play tennis?" she asked.
"Hn," I answered.
"Well, as an old friend, please do me the honor and have a match with me?" she asked. Before I could answer, she pulled me towards the Singles court.
"I thought you would go on a date since today's Valentine's Day," I said.
"Well, I'm celebrating it tonight, so I don't have any other plans during the day." Ann said, "If you don't mind, let me serve."
"Sure," I replied.
After Ann served, she asked, "Are you going tonight?"
"Going where?" I asked, after returning her serve.
"To the reunion," she answered.
"How'd you know about the reunion?" I asked again.
"Because I'm dating Takeshi," Ann answered. I was surprised to hear that so Ann managed to score a point.
"You should go out more, Ryoma," she told me after she served for the second time.
"Whatever," I replied, before returning the serve and took a point from her.
"You're getting better," Ann told me and I replied, "Mada mada dane."
It was only a short while when I managed to beat her six games to two. Panting, she said, "Let's talk over there, I'll buy you a Ponta." I nodded my head and we went towards the bench near the vending machine.
"Ryoma," Ann said, handing me a can of Ponta.
"Arigatou," I told her. She nodded her head and sat next to me.
Then, Ann looked at me, asking, "Can I ask you a personal question?"
"Depends," I told her.
"Well, Ryoma, have you…have you started dating again?"
At first, I didn't answer.
"Sorry," Ann said. "It's just, Takeshi is worried about you." I didn't say anything and just continued drinking my Ponta. "He said you seemed to be locking yourself away from everyone."
"Why is it suddenly my life became everyone's business?" I asked, feeling a little angry.
Ann was taken aback. "I'm sorry if I anger you," she said, "but everyone is worried, Ryoma."
I stood up and threw the empty can inside the garbage bin. "I'm going," I said, taking my tennis bag.
"I hope you'll come to the reunion tonight," Ann yelled out to me. I didn't stop to reply though, I just kept on walking.
While I was walking, another memory came into my mind.
Seventeen year-old Ryoma walked down the streets of Kantou, while thinking of a perfect gift to buy. Suddenly, he said, "I know what Kunimitsu might like." Then, when he passed a café, he saw Tezuka and Fuji in it, sitting together while eating ice creams. Ryoma stopped directly in front of where Tezuka and Fuji are sitting. Of course, the two older teens hadn't notice him.
'What is Kunimitsu doing with Fuji-senpai?" Ryoma thought. He saw Tezuka and Fuji talking, and suddenly Fuji laughed.
'Are they on a date?' Ryoma thought. He shook his head. 'No, Kunimitsu would never cheat on me.' So, Ryoma decided to call Tezuka.
"Hello, this is Tezuka Kunimitsu speaking," Tezuka said as he answered the phone.
"Kunimitsu, this is me, Ryoma," the younger teen said from the other line.
Tezuka was about to say Ryoma's name when Fuji's voice was heard, saying, "Mitsu-chan, who is it?"
Before Tezuka could answer Fuji, Ryoma said, "Uhm, I guess you're busy."
Sensing something was off in Ryoma's voice, Tezuka asked, "Ryoma, what's wrong?"
"I was in town and I just-" Tezuka looked up and saw Ryoma there, separated only by a thin glass.
"Ryoma it's not what you think," Tezuka said.
"I'll call you later, Kunimitsu," Ryoma said and hung up. Before he ran, Tezuka swore he saw tears on his lover's cheeks.
"Was that Ryoma?" Fuji asked. Fuji didn't need an answer. "Go, go after him." He smiled. "It's hard if the neko-chan misunderstood things."
When he arrived home, both his parents are in the living room. "Oh, welcome home, Ryoma," Rinko told her son. However, when she saw Ryoma's tear-stained face, she asked, "Ryoma, what happened?"
"Nothing," Ryoma said and he quickly ran up to his room.
"I wonder what the matter with that seishounen," Nanjiroh said.
A few minutes later, the doorbell to the Echizen household rang. Rinko opened the door.
"Konbanwa," Tezuka said. "Is Ryoma home?" he asked.
"Yup, he's in, but he don't really want to talk to anyone right now," Rinko said.
"Please, could I try and see him?" Tezuka asked.
Rinko saw the worried look on Tezuka's face. She asked, "Say, Tezuka-san, did you and Ryoma got into a fight?"
"No, but…"
"But…?" Rinko repeated with a raised eyebrow.
"I think he saw something he shouldn't have," Tezuka told her.
"And I concluded that that's the cause of all of this?" Rinko asked.
"Echizen-san," Tezuka said. "I'm not cheating on Ryoma. I can jump in front of a speeding car to prove it."
Rinko chuckled. "You don't need to prove to me anything, Tezuka-san." She opened the door wider so that Tezuka could enter. "You should remember where his room is, right?"
Tezuka nodded his head. "Thank you, Echizen-san," he said.
The brunette-haired teen knocked on Ryoma's door. He knocked three times, and stopped.
Silence, there was no answer.
Again, Tezuka knocked, but still no answer. After a few more tries, Tezuka stopped. He knew how stubborn Ryoma was. He knew even if he kept knocking, Ryoma won't answer. At last, Tezuka sighed and said, "Ryoma, I know you're in there and I know you're listening. So, please, on this Valentine's Day, meet me at Kawamura's Sushi shop at eight p.m. There I'll give you my explanation about Fuji. I hope two days is enough to make you calm. And, I won't bother you within these two days. If…If you want to talk to me, I'll be happy to see you, no matter if it's in the middle of the night."
Again, there was only silence. Tezuka sighed. After looking at Ryoma's bedroom door, he left.
"So, did you talk to Ryoma?" Rinko asked when Tezuka arrived downstairs.
Tezuka shook his head. "But please, Rinko-san, remind him to meet me at Kawamura Sushi shop at eight p.m. on Valentine's Day."
Rinko smiled. "Sure."
'I was so stupid, weren't I?' I thought as I walked towards a grave; a grave belonged to Tezuka Kunimitsu.
Tezuka's grave was under a cherry blossom tree, the place where he could feel peace. I sat beside Tezuka's grave, leaning against the sakura tree.
After Ryoma heard Tezuka's footsteps going away, he removed the pillow on his head. Staring at the ceiling, he thought, 'Why should I go? I saw them with my own eyes.'
Suddenly, another thought came into his mind. 'But, what if I'm wrong? What if that was just a friendly meeting? But, then again, Fuji-senpai called Kunimitsu 'Mitsu-chan'.'
Tezuka did keep to his words. Within those two days, he never once called Ryoma and didn't come to see him either. Ryoma, on the other hand, was stubborn enough not to call Tezuka.
On Valentine's Day, Ryoma returned home at six p.m. after tennis practice. When he was about to go to his room, his mother asked, "Are you going tonight, Ryoma?"
"If he really wanted to see me, he should have explain things to me now instead of later," Ryoma answered before continue walking to his room.
"Ryoma, I hope you're not making a mistake," his mother said before heading to the kitchen.
After taking his bath, Ryoma lay on his bed, Karupin next to him. He said to himself, "Am I making the right choice for not going to Taka-san's sushi shop tonight?" After debating with himself whether he should go to Kawamura's sushi shop or not tonight, he drifted to sleep.
Ryoma didn't know what time it is when he woke up from his slumber because his cell phone was ringing. He looked at his clock. It's just 8.30 p.m.
Ryoma answered it, "Hello," he said.
"Ryoma, this is Kawamura," Kawamura Takashi said from the other line.
"Taka-senpai," Ryoma said as he sat in a more comfortable way.
"Ryoma, there's been an accident near my shop," Kawamura said, "It was a hit and run."
"Why are you telling me this?" Ryoma asked. 'Don't tell me…'
"It was Tezuka," Kawamura answered Ryoma unanswered question. He winced slightly, knowing how Ryoma's reaction might be.
"Your eyes must be too tried, Taka-senpai," Ryoma said as he forcefully laughed. "Kunimitsu can't-"
"On his way to my shop tonight, Tezuka was hit by a speeding truck," Kawamura told him. "The truck driver was drunk Tezuka died immediately at the scene."
"No, it can't be," Ryoma shrieked. He was in denial. "It can't-" he accidentally dropped his cell phone.
"Ryoma, Ryoma," Kawamura called out before the line went dead.
'How can it be?' Ryoma thought, staring at nothing, only the emptiness in front of him. 'It was just a while ago when we played tennis together, laughed together, sleep-" he buried his face in his hands and dropped to the ground.
"I should have gone to the sushi shop tonight," Ryoma cried. "Then maybe, all of this won't have happened."
'Ryoma, it was just a misunderstanding,' Tezuka's voice went through his mind.
"I'm sorry, Mitsu," Ryoma cried, "sorry for not believing."
At that moment, the door was opened by his mother. "Ryoma, what's wrong?" she asked, quickly running to Ryoma's side when he saw him in that position.
Ryoma don't care anymore. He sobbed. Looking at his mother with tears running down his cheeks, he said, "Okaa-san, I was an idiot. I should have listened to him, listen to his explanations when I still had the chance."
"Ryoma," Rinko said soothingly to her son. "Tell me what happened."
"T-Tezuka," he choked out. "He was…Taka-senpai told me…he-"
"Shh, it's okay," Rinko said. Rinko didn't know what had happen to Tezuka but all she knew was making her son calm.
I chuckled to myself. "It's too late to regret about that now, isn't it, Kunimitsu?" I looked up. Though my vision is limited to the wide, blue sky, but my thoughts are beyond that.
"I wonder what would happen if I just commit suicide after your funeral," I told no one in particular. "Maybe we could've been together?" Then, I chuckled again. "You know what, Mitsu? I almost did commit suicide, but a voice told me…"
It was the day of Tezuka's funeral. A lot of people attended it. There were old schoolmates and new, Ryuzaki-sensei, friends and family, the Seigaku Regulars, and even the past opponents; some of the Hyoutei's, Rikkaidai's, Rokkaku's, Fudomine's and even St. Rudolph's Regulars.
It was gloomy and depressing at Tezuka's funeral. Everyone knew that the young man could go much, much further…if only the Angel of Death hadn't taken him.
After the funeral, Ryoma was about to walk away when Fuji caught up to him, saying, "Stop right there, Ryoma." When Ryoma didn't stop, he grabbed hold of Ryoma's hand.
Ryoma showed no sign of resistance. When the honey-brunette-haired teen turned Ryoma facing him, he was surprised that his eyes opened. When he arrived to the funeral with his sister and brother, he saw Ryoma from far away. But, the younger teen was standing to far away. Now, when he was standing right in front of the teen, how surprised he was to see the boy. He looked like a living corpse, with dark circles under his eyes, his pale face and messy hair. It seems like the fire in him was extinguished.
"Ryoma, what happened to you? Why didn't you take of yourself?" Fuji asked, starting to bombard Ryoma with his questions.
When Ryoma didn't answer, Fuji said, "Is this because of what happened at the café?"
Ryoma looked at Fuji, but didn't say anything.
"Ryoma…"
"I should have trust him, Fuji-senpai," Ryoma said, tears began to cloud his vision again. "I should have trust him." Ryoma dropped to the ground as his knees weakened.
"It's not your fault," Fuji said, trying to comfort the younger teen as he hold kneeled in front of Ryoma till they're at the same level. "Everyone would think the worse if they saw a scene like that…that just shows how much you love him."
"That was not love but just pure stubbornness, Fuji-senpai," Ryoma replied. "I refused to talk to him or see him, and…and now it's too late."
"Ryoma," Fuji said. He took out a small velvet box with golden ribbon on it. "The reason why Kunimitsu asked me out the other day was because he needed my help to find something for you." Fuji put the box on Ryoma's palm. "He wanted everything to be perfect and a surprise so he didn't say anything to you."
Ryoma opened it and was startled to see a ring in it.
"He was planning to propose to you on Valentine's Day…but-"
"I was so stupid," Ryoma cut in. He immediately stood up. With the box safely in his hands, the younger teen ran off.
"Ryoma!" Fuji called after him.
That night, Ryoma sat on the rooftop of his house. He brought something with him as well; the ring Tezuka bought and a knife.
'I don't care anymore, Kunimitsu,' Ryoma thought. 'I want to join you, so that we could be…together.'
He took the knife and was about to slit his wrist when he felt a warm breeze and something embracing him. The warmth of it was so much familiar to him. "Kunimitsu," Ryoma said softly to himself.
Then, Ryoma heard a voice, a voice so familiar in the wind, saying, "Ryoma, it's time to let me go."
Hearing those words, Ryoma sat still, the knife slowly slipping from his hand. Then, he started crying, crying all the sadness he had kept inside.
I smiled, looking at the Kunimitsu's grave. "I understand now," I said. "And I'm ready…to let you go."
takari love: Well, I hope you enjoyed it. In the end, there's really no moral values or climax or 'points' in this fic. But, I guess you could say this is my feelings when listening to Canon in D by Pachelbel. But, this fic doesn't do much justice to it since this plot wasn't thought out well... Anyway, pls R&R...,