It doesn't take long before I lose track of time. Lose my sense of... everything. All that exists for me is the pain. The excruciating, never ending pain. It's all I can think of. It's all I can feel. It devours my soul completely, and I don't want it to end. I want this to continue forever.

My entire body is shaking, and there's nothing I can do to make it stop. I have almost no control over myself my anymore. I can stop my limbs from moving, but I can't stop the tremors. All I can focus on is to hold back the scream that wants to force its way out of my mouth. He said I couldn't make a single sound, and I don't want to find out what he might do if I so much as whimper. I don't care if he increases the pain. I don't mind if he kills me. No, I am scared of the thought that me might stop.

But I manage to be perfectly quiet, and he doesn't stop. But he does increase the pain a little. I wrap it around me, savor it, let it fill me to the brim and push me over the edge. Every muscle in my body clenches when white-hot pleasure suddenly rages through me. I stop breathing and it feels like my soul is drifting out of my body. I feel so light! Pain and pleasure surrounds me completely. I feel my eyes roll back into my head as my mind is being ripped to shreds, trashed into tiny little peaces that I don't think I'll be able to put together again. Then another wave of pain and pleasure hits me with full force and I am being washed away into oblivion.

When I come to my senses again, I can feel him bathe my face and neck with a cold, damp cloth. I realize that I have somehow managed to stay on my knees and smile with relief. I am panting heavily and my tremors are worse than before. I am so tired. So utterly tired. I want nothing more than just lie down and fall asleep, but I force myself to stay upright until he tells me otherwise.

Tears are running freely down my cheeks and I do nothing to stop them. I just let them fall. I want to ask him why he has stopped, but I don't dare to. I didn't want him to stop. I want him to continue. Why has he stopped?

I feel how he pours water over my head and wince when the water wash over some sore spots on my chest and back. I cringe a little when he starts to run a soothing hand through my wet hair and force myself to relax. I can't deny how good it feels as the water is cooling my heated skin. My breath gets slower, deeper, and also my heart beats slow down. I understand now that he hasn't stopped. Not really. He has just taken a break. Just a little break. Then he will continue. I so want him to continue.

"You have been very good, Tony", he tells me as he carefully dabs my back whit the damp cloth. "There is only a few things more I want to do to you and then you can rest. That sounds good?"

I nod mutely, not trusting my own voice. I wait for him to punish me for not answering him verbally, but he doesn't and for that I am grateful. I don't think I would've been able to.

"And, Tony", he continues with a low voice, "now you can scream as much as you want."

I feel my eyes widen and I take a deep, shivering breath. Somehow I know that what he is about to do will be more painful than anything he has done up to this point. I listen intently for any clues on what it is he will do, but again he is so quiet that I almost start to think that he has actually left me this time.

The next second, something extremely hot is being pressed against my back. It is impossible for me to hold back the scream that forces itself out of my lungs. I throw my head back and just let it come. The pain is worse than anything I have ever experienced before. I scream so much that my voice get hoarse withing seconds. I hear my skin fry as the object is being pressed against me again and again. I want to beg him to stop, but I don't. I can't.

You don't beg your Keeper.

When he starts to trail the object across my back I reach the line for how much I can take. I collapse on the floor and curl up into a tight ball, hugging my knees to my chest. I cry as I wait for the punishment I know must come. I cringe a little when I feel his fingers at my neck, but he is just unclasping the chain and removes it. Then he puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes it reassuringly, murmuring soft, comforting words into my ear.

"You can rest now", he whispers and removes the blindfold as well. "You deserve it."

I try to give him some kind of response, but I have no strength left at all. I close my eyes and with a last, shivering breath, I let myself give in to the warm, secure darkness that suddenly wells up inside me.

When I open my eyes I find that I'm lying under the covers in a soft bed. For some reason I'm lying on my stomach, which I hardly ever do, since I prefer to lie on my back or my side when I sleep. I close my eyes again and take a deep breath. My whole body is sore and throbbing and it hurts when I try to move, but it is a good sort of pain. It tells me that my body is recovering, that I will be just fine.

With gritted teeth I roll over on my side and gingerly push myself up until I sit on the edge of the bed. I turn on the light on the nightstand and look down. I notice that most if my body is covered in black and blue bruises, mixed with long, red cuts and minor wounds. Only my forearms, neck and face were left untouched. Some of the wounds look rather ghastly and I know that I should go and see a doctor, but I have no idea what to say about how I got such injuries. I can't tell the truth, because that would make people think I've gone mental and it would probably send Gibbs straight to jail. It doesn't matter how you twist and turn this, it would still count as abuse, or even torture. There's no way I'm going to Bethesda, so that only leaves Ducky. Hopefully I can convince him not to ask.

I stand up on shaky legs and have to steady myself against the wall so I don't fall to the floor. For a second I feel a little lightheaded and the room starts to spin, so I close my eyes and wait for the dizziness to pass. The moment I feel steady again, I open my eyes and walk out to the bathroom. I take a look at myself in the mirror and is surprised by how calm and placid I look. But then again, I feel rather calm and placid. All my worries are gone, washed away by the pain, and it's like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. In a way I guess it has. The pain helped me forget all my troubles. It always does. That's one reason I like it so much. I always feel a lot better the next day.

I turn around to take a look on my back and my eyes go wide in shock when I see that a word has been burnt into my flesh. Thirteen red lines form the word MINE across my back, twelve for the word itself and one for an underline. I just stare at the word for a while, and then a big smile spreads across my face. Gibbs will keep me forever. I don't have to look for another Keeper ever again. It feels good to have that confirmed once and for all.

"Tony?"

I turn around and smile when I see my boss standing in the doorway. He returns my smile and I can see that a huge weight has been taken off even his shoulders as well. I realize then that he probably needed this just as much as I did.

"How are you feeling?" he asks and walk over to me.

"Sore", I admit. "But other than that, I feel great. You?"

"I'm fine", he says. Then he looks at my back through the mirror.

"Do you mean it?" I ask. I can't help it. I guess I have to know.

"Yeah, I mean it", he says gravely and looks straight into my eyes. "I'm all in on this, Tony, to one hundred percent. I won't let you down. I promise."

"I know, Boss", I say and smile at him. "You got my six, right?"

He returns my smile and puts a hand on my shoulder. "I do, DiNozzo. I do."

Then he puts a hand in his pocket and pulls out something small and shiny. He opens his hand, palm up, and I can see the chain clearly for the first time. It's made of small silver rings and is actually kind of beautiful, even though it has collar written all over it. I look up at him with a frown and he returns my look before he reaches out and puts the chain in my hand.

"Boss?" I ask, not sure of what to say.

"I want you to hold on to this, DiNozzo", he tells me firmly. "Whenever you feel you need me as a Keeper, you just give it back to me. I'll always be there for you."

I swallow hard a couple of times before I trust my voice enough to speak.

"Thanks, Boss", I say and close my hand. "But what if..."

He slaps me before I finish the sentence and grabs my chin in his hand, forcing me to look at him.

"No 'what ifs', DiNozzo."

I swallow hard again and nod that I understand.

"Gotcha, Boss", I add, just to be sure.

"Good. Now get back to bed. I'll send Ducky to take a look at you later."

"But..." I begin, but he interrupts me with another head slap.

"No 'buts' either", he says with a dark scowl. "You're not going to work today, and I'm not sending you home before you've got those wounds looked after. Have I made myself clear?"

"Chrystal, Boss", I reply and have to restrain myself from smirking at him. I manage to keep my features under control and he leaves me with a short grunt.

I go back to the guest room and get into bed. As soon as my head hits the pillow I realize how tired I still am. I put the chain on the nightstand, pull the covers over me again and after I have turned the light off, I let myself drift off to sleep.

Everything has turned out just fine.