Confessions of Georgia Nicolson
Doublemerde with poo on top with a side helping of PANTS
Chapter 1
Back in my tent thinking about what happened
I am in total confusosity, I am once again on the rack of love. I've been on the rack of love so much I think I might have to possibly buy a home here.
1 minute later
Well maybe not a home as they do cost a fair few squids which is squids I could be spending on boy entrances and lip gloss for maximum snogosity.
1 minute later
I'm in deep merde.
30 seconds later
In fact one could say double merde
10 seconds later
with poo on top
1 minute later
and a side helping of PANTS…(oo-er)
1 minute later
Well after Dave snogged me within an inch of my life. Including a lot of lip nibbling (oo-er). I kinda of well shoved him back a bit and erm well dear gott in himmel I could put Ellen to shame.
Well I said "Dave" and kinda gave him the we shouldn't be doing this look. . .
And he gave me a well your lips shouldn't of been puckering up look.
"Well don't look at me like that kittykat. Your lips were the ones asking for it"
Did he just say zat "Look I can't help it if my lips have a life of their own."
1 minute later
We're both just giving each other looks now, this is stupid and it kinda gives me the horn. . .Shutup brain, Shutup brain.
10 seconds later
My lips began puckering up again. . . .oh no well I didn't want to make an utter complete lunatic fool out of myself again so I decided to leave.
1 minute later
That will show him
Another stupid minute later
Keep walking don't look back, don't look back.
10 seconds later
Damm I looked back and tripped over a badger hole or something. Remind me to give Jas an extra big kick when I see her for that. Well she's the one who loves the bloody badgers.
I tripped full on my face.
1 minute later
And Dave is not helping he is laughing like a loon
"What am I going to do with you kittykat"
He began to walk over "Well you could give you favourite kittykat a pick back to camp"
"Like a taxi". . . (oo-er)
Dave is now carrying me back to the boy's tent. I told him just to drop me off there and my favourite pal Jassy will give me a piggy back all the way back to my tent. Hahaha
2 minutes later
Dave is quite strong if I say so myself in fact it is vair viar zexy if Herr Kamyer should say so himself.
1 minute later
Shutup, brain.
12 seconds later
This is definitely turning out to be a carry on camping we could make a sequel. Carry on snogging Hahahah. Shutup brian, shutup.
Let the awkward conversation begin
"Do you remember the last time I carried you all the way home when you hurt your foot"
What in God's undercracker's was he talking about. .
"Er. . ."
"You remember when I had to carry you home"
"Er. . ." Oh I remember when slimy Wet Lindsay gave me a whack with her hockey stick.
"That was yonks and donkey's away."
1 minute later
"Dave you didn't exactly carry me, more like wheel me home"
"That was when we were going out"
Oh no I think Dave the laugh is going all Dave the unlaugh. I hate it when he goes like this. I hate awkward chit chats.
2 minutes later
Still Silent, sill awkward
1 minute later
"Do you remember that Georgia"
. . . Blimey 'O' Reilly's trousers this chat has taken a turn for the worst. I couldn't think of anything to say. I think Dave the laugh is taking an unfair advantage of my twisted ankle, cos normally when he starts to go all serious I run away.
1 minute later
Still Silent, still awkward
Dear gott in himmel I suppose I could ask Dave the unlaugh to put me down and I could hobble back to camp. Well I can't run, besides Miss save the world Jassy Spazzy has told me tres many at time that I run very spazoid.
2 minutes later
"I'mvair vair tired, are we nearly back"
That seems to of broken the awkwardness. I know I shouldn't of but for the second time I asked Dave how his girlfriend type fandango was going.
"Alright I suppose"
10 seconds later
"So I suppose you won't be running up to Buckingham Palace any time soon to declared your love for the Queen" (oo-er)
"Georgia, you know I don't fancy the Queen really"
Oh no we were indeedy getting into vair viar bad red-bottomitsy territory here. But I couldn't resist. Now I know why Eve took the apple not because it was forbidden because she just wanted a darn apple.
1 minute later
Oh merdenow I'm really confused
2 minutes later
"So who is this mystery woman then, if it's not the queen?"
"Why don't you guess KittyKat?" Dave had a huge smirk on his face. I hate guessing games but still (oo-er)
1 minute later
"Ellen"
"No"
"Rachel your ex"
"No"
"My Mum"
"Well I do fancy your mum but no"
Erlack and tres pongoes.
"Do you want a hint kittykat"
"Okay"
"Well the name begins G and ends in a."
10 seconds later
Now I'm in deep merde with double poo and an EXTRA side helping of PANTS.
30 seconds later
By now we had nearly reached the boys tent and I knew it would only be a matter of tres seconds until Miss Jas and the Ace gang would come and find me and ask where I've been.
5 seconds later
"You just don't get it do you Georgia?"
I hate it when he calls me Georgia, coz I am vair vair marvy and clever I have pondered and pondered and have realised Dave only calls me Georgia when he's angry or upset with me. Triple poo.
"Er…" And then gave him the please drop this conversation look. . .
10 seconds later
And then he snogged me, I was so shocked my lips even hadn't began puckering. And I'm not talking about a number 3 I mean full on number 6 in front of everyone.
In my tent pondering
So I am once again on the rack of love and now everyone knows it. Well kinda.
1 minute later
My life is over