That had been three years ago. The Organization had gotten more members since then. Zexion leaned back in his chair. He was sitting in the castle library, the only place he could find peace, with a large book open in his hands. Saix had come a week later. Xemnas had found him wandering in the darkness and had taken a shine to him almost immediately. Axel was next. For whatever reason (he'd never tell anyone why), Zexion tended to avoid him. Demyx was Number IX. He highly intrigued Zexion...and highly annoyed him. Luxord had been found about a year later. Then Marluxia and Larxene and Roxas was the final member.

Zexion flipped a page, his eyes skimming over the book. A loud crash caused him to look up. Demyx was lying on the ground in the doorway. "Sorry, my cloak got caught on the doorknob." The blonde stood up and bounded over to Zexion.

He sighed. "What are you doing in here Number IX?"

"I dunno. I got bored I guess. Everyone else is busy and no one will talk to me. What are you doing?"

"Trying to read," Zexion said in an irritable voice. He sank lower in the arm chair and held the book in front of his face. Demyx grinned and grabbed the spine of the book, forcing it down into Zexion's lap. "Do you know how annoying you are?"

"Yeah," the blonde said still grinning, "But that's why ya love me!"

Zexion felt heat rise in his cheeks. Thankfully his blue-grey hair hid half of his face. Usually, he was the master of hiding his emotions, but around Demyx... "We can't love IX. We can't feel anything."

"That's such a bummer and I know it's not true. Axel and Roxas-"

"Don't remind me."

"Besides, I'm happy all the time! I feel happy."

Zexion rolled his light blue eyes. A part of him wanted to agree with Demyx, but his logic was screaming no. "We're Nobodies. Or did you forget?"

"Not being able to feel is depressing," Demyx whined, "No one can't not feel!"

Zexion slammed the book shut. Demyx blinked at the action. Zexion placed the book on a table and opened a portal, which he stepped through and into his room. He flopped down on his bed, burying his face in the cool pillow. "Xemnas keeps telling us we don't have emotions," he whispered, "Then why do I feel so weird around Demyx?" He sat up. "I hate not having a heart," he said bitterly. Demyx. If it wasn't for Demyx, he wouldn't be so confused. Demyx was right about one thing...most of the other members acted like they had hearts. Axel and Roxas were a perfect example.

Zexion slowly pulled his black leather gloves off. He walked out on his balcony, closing the door behind him. He pushed up his left sleeve. His eyes fell upon the red lines that crisscrossed along the inside of his wrist. He closed his eyes thinking, I need a razor. A thin blade appeared in his right hand. Illusion did have it's advantages. He pressed the blade against the inside of his wrist, dragging it across his flesh, leaving a dark line of red. He bit his lip at the pain that dug into his arm. Pain, he thought, I can feel pain. At least I can feel something. He made another cut, his blood dripping down his arm, landing on the balcony. After the blade had kissed his flesh a few more times, he sank to the ground, feeling lightheaded.

He leaned against the concrete railing, closing his eyes. The blade vanished. He pressed his right hand against his arm, blood seeping through his fingers.

"Zexion!" His eyes snapped open at the voice. Demyx was standing in front of him, horror in his usually bright childish eyes. "What are you- Why would you- Oh my god!" He bent down, trying to pull Zexion to his feet. "Let me help you!"

"No, Demyx, I'll be fine. Just leave me alone," Zexion said as Demyx pulled him back inside the castle.

"You're bleeding...a lot!" He pulled the shorter man into the bathroom and turned the water on. He held Zexion's wrist under the cold running liquid. Zexion winced from the touch. He tried to pull away but Demyx's grip was too tight.

"Dammit Demyx! Let go!"

"No! Your arm has to quit bleeding." Demyx manipulated the water so it would form a bracelet around Zexion's wrist. His blood was dying the water pink.

"Dammit let go!" He jerked his arm out of Demyx's grasp and stormed back into his bedroom.

"Zexion..." Demyx started, running after him.

"Adepto ex meus cella!!" Zexion shouted, without even thinking, in Latin.

"H-Huh?"

"Iustus licentia mihi unus!"

Demyx grabbed Zexion and said, "I can't understand you! Calm down and speak English!"

Zexion sank to the ground, tears streaming down his face. He hadn't cried since he had been Ienzo. Demyx sat beside him, pulling him against his chest. "Zexion, why would you do this to yourself?"

Zexion buried his face in the front of Demyx's cloak, taking in his scent. "I-I can f-feel pain. I-It's the o-only thing I-I can f-feel," he said between tears.

Demyx gently rubbed his back. "It's okay Zexion. It's okay." He lifted Zexion's head up, making him look at him. He smoothed his blue-grey hair out of his face, revealing his other light blue eye. "You don't have to hurt yourself to feel. You can feel anything you want."

"Xemnas said we don't have emotions. But you- I feel so strange around you."

"Strange how?"

"Well...I don't know."

Demyx wiped away a tear with his thumb. He smiled brightly at Zexion, pulling him close. "I think I do."

Zexion's eyes widened as Demyx moved closer. Demyx tilted his head, a few blonde whispies fell across his face. He closed the space between their lips, kissing Zexion gently. Zexion wrapped his right arm around Demyx's neck, deepening the kiss. The two pulled away. A faint blush was on Zexion's cheeks. "See!" Demyx said smiling.

"What?"

"You're blushing! I knew you weren't an emotionless rock!"

Zexion smiled. He kissed Demyx then said, "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

Demyx grinned and said, "Then why didn't you?"

"I was confused. We aren't suppose to feel...But it doesn't matter now." He put a hand on Demyx's cheek.

Demyx looked at his wrist and said, "You're still bleeding! I'll be right back." He jumped up and ran into the bathroom. Zexion stood up slowly and sat on the bed. Demyx ran back in the room. He sat next to Zexion and put a band-aid on the cuts he had just made a few minutes ago. He kissed the bandages and said, "There. All better!"

Zexion smiled, holding the blonde close to him. "You're so cute," he whispered against his ear, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"I think you know." Zexion kissed Demyx, intertwining his fingers in his blonde spikes. Demyx grinned kissing back. The two sat on the bed for the longest time, planting soft, passionate kisses on each others lips. They fell against the sheets, holding each other close. Zexion lay on Demyx's shoulder, his nose against the blonde's cloak. "Hey Zexy?"

"Yeah?" he asked mentally noting the nickname.

"What's my scent like?"

"Huh? Oh. You really want to know?" Demyx nodded. Zexion kissed him again. "You smell like strawberries and salty sea air."

Demyx grinned. "You know, as bad as I hate to, we should head downstairs. It's almost dinner time."

"Yeah, you're right." Zexion sat up and got off of the bed. Demyx suddenly grabbed his waist and pulled him back on the bed. "What are you-"

"I don't think Xemnas would mind if we skip dinner tonight," he said, a mischievous grin on his face. He pushed Zexion against the sheets and straddled him. "Cause you aren't going no where!" He bent down and kissed Zexion, pinning his hands above his head, being careful about his wrists.

"Yeah well," Zexion said, "If we get in trouble, you're explaining why we weren't there."

welp, that's all folks!!! lol :-P ummm, i hope people will review my story, I'd luv 2 hear wut u thought of it

A/N lol strawberries, i must be losing it :-P