It's the spectacular return of the stupid.

SEED: The Blooper Files.


Kira Inadvertently Kills Nicol, Take 1

(The Strike moves in for the kill, anti-ship sword drawn and ready to cut through the Aegis' armor; Nicol and the Blitz Gundam move in to take the blow for Athrun, but...)

Nicol: (kicking the thrusters into full blast by accident, hurling him a good way across the island; the unit's leg is sheared off) WAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Athrun: What-?

Kira: (pauses for a moment as the Strike's Schwert Gewehr immediately plants itself in the ground, before sticking his head out of the cockpit) That wasn't supposed to happen, was it?

Athrun: Nope.

Vengeful Moon: (irate and glaring at everyone on the set) Did someone properly tune the thrusters on that thing? Or was it another of your screwups at work?

Nicol: My bad! Sorry! Need to be more careful next time...

Vengeful Moon: Rrrrgh. Just be glad that we're having a stunt double take your death here, Nicol. I know you're not fond of situations like this.

Nicol: No kidding...

Dearka: Hey, it could have been worse.

Yzak: Why the hell are we recording these scenes out of order anyway?

Vengeful Moon: We'll just put them together in editing; not like people are going to notice the difference, right?

Yzak: Provided no one actually screws THAT up...

Vengeful Moon: It'll be fine. Anyway, cut!

Kira Inadvertently Kills Nicol, Take 2

(The Strike moves in for the kill, anti-ship sword drawn and ready to cut through the Aegis' armor; Nicol and the Blitz Gundam move in to take the blow, just as scripted, and a moment before the Schwert Gewehr makes contact...)

Vengeful Moon: Okay, cut! Perfect.

Nicol: (heaves a sigh of relief) Phew...alright, guess my job's done.

Vengeful Moon: That went surprisingly smoothly. Let's just hope the rest of it goes as well...

Nicol: Right.

Yzak: I wonder if he realizes just how (redacted) badly he's jinxed himself.

Dearka: Probably not.

Kira: (pokes his head out of the cockpit) We ready to go? It's a little awkward having to hold the Strike like this...

Vengeful Moon: Hold your horses, we're getting on it.

(VM signals for the double, and they switch places with Nicol, ready to continue.)

Vengeful Moon: Okay-ACTION!

(The scene continues as planned, but there's something wrong...)

Athrun: Oy, Kira-!

Kira: What!?

Athrun: You're in too close!

Kira: ...Oh, cra-

(The Strike and the Blitz both blow up, leaving a smoldering crater. Kira and the double, thankfully, survive.)

Vengeful Moon: Ah, hell. Just had to open my big fat (redacted) mouth...

Kira: (coughing up soot as he emerges from the explosion) Hey, director?

Vengeful Moon: Yeah?

Kira: Next time, just let Nicol do it...

Nicol: BUT I DON'T WANT TO!

Athrun: Sorry, but it looks like there isn't any other way to get through this take in one go.

Nicol: Urrrrgh.

Vengeful Moon: Gah. Alright, cut! We'll work on this scene again in a bit; stunt double, you're free to go.

Stunt Double: NEVER ASK ME TO DO SOMETHING THIS CRAZY AGAIN, YOU (redacted)!

Vengeful Moon: (facepalms)

Kira Inadvertently Kills Nicol, Take 3

(The scene goes as planned all the way up to Nicol getting cut in the stomach; Kira backs the Strike up as he stares on in shock, Athrun unable to believe what just happened himself.)

Nicol: Athrun...my piano...take care of it...for me-

(Blood fills his helmet, and the Blitz explodes.)

Athrun: ...

Kira: ...I...I didn't-

Nicol: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kira: What-!?

(Nicol promptly lands on the Strike's head, right within view of the sensors.)

Kira: ...Uh...Nicol?

Athrun: Oh, (redacted), here we go...

Vengeful Moon: CUT! Nicol, what the HELL!?

Nicol: (dazed and trying to pull himself together) I think I hit the wrong switch trying to get out of the Blitz...must have...hit the ejection seat by mistake...

Yzak: (facepalms) Now I know how (redacted) the director must feel whenever he has to deal with the rest of us.

Dearka: Least we don't have to go through any death scenes ourselves. (facepalms as well)

Vengeful Moon: Fantastic, that's TWO Blitz Gundams we'll have to pay for later. Thanks a lot.

Nicol: Sorry... (dazedly falls off the Strike's head) WAAAAAH-!

Kira: Oh, (redacted)!

Vengeful Moon: CATCH HIM, YOU IDIOT-!

(Before either of them can move their MS to do so, Nicol hits a few tree branches, slowing his fall - but not enough to save the poor chap from a few injuries...)

Nicol: Uuuuuuuuuuuugh...

Athrun: ...Nicol? You okay?

Nicol: ...Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh...

Athrun: ...Uh, director?

Vengeful Moon: (facepalms) And you two bumbling (redacted)s are supposed to be Coordinators...

Kira: ...Our bad.

Cagalli: (peeks over at Rau) What? Not even going to wisecrack about how much they screwed up?

Rau: I got placed with a restraining order, you blonde di-

Cagalli: BAHAHAHAHA!

Rau: ...mbulb. Grrrrrrrgh.

Yzak: Hate to say it, boss, but you had it comin' after you sacked the director.

Rau: (grumbles incoherently)

Vengeful Moon: Ah, well. That's it for now; let's get Nicol an ambulance. Stat.

The cast, sans Rau and Nicol: Got it.


A special kind of stupendous and dumb.