Candy Land
To set the scene: Some year in the future. Harry is
out of school and one of the leaders in the fight against Voldermort, who is
growing in power. One night, Harry gets the insane idea to face Voldermort in
single combat, battling to the death. He travels to Voldermort's secret
hideout, which he just happens to know the way to (and the flashing neon green
signs that say "This way to Voldermort's Very Secret Hideout" helped to).
Voldermort just happened to be alone in a dark hall lit by torches. His
underlings were all away buying furbies to further their diabolical plans.
Anyway, Harry challenges Voldermort to a duel.
Harry: I challenge you to a duel.
Voldermort: I accept, for no apparent reason.
They duel. It's a very spectacular scene with flying
fireballs, sheep, and some very powerful spells involving sticky notes. Finally
both contestants decide to take a break since they're both really tired.
Harry: Let's take a break since we're both really
tired.
Voldie: Okay.
They take a break.
Voldie: We're evenly matched when it comes to
spells. This isn't getting us anywhere.
Harry: So?
Voldie: Why don't we just play a game involving
little physical effort and more thinking. Whoever wins, takes the world.
Harry: Oh, Oh, Let's play Candy Land!
Voldie: (Giving him a strange look) Candy Land?
Harry: (Blushing slightly) Yeah, it's fun.
Voldie: What about chess? The game of kings
Harry: We aren't kings. Let's play checkers.
They argue like that for a while. Finally we see
them sitting around a table playing-
Voldie: (Excitedly jumping up and down) Look! Look!
I won second prize in a beauty contest!
Harry: (Rolls eyes) Yeah, big deal. I own Park Place
and Boardwalk.
Voldermort gets mad and throws table over,
scattering the pieces and the Monopoly
board.
Harry: That didn't work so well. Maybe we should
play something else, something less competitive.
Later-
Harry: Ha, Ha, Ha! I control Madagascar!
Voldie: So?
Harry: It's an accomplishment.
Voldie (snickers) Yeah, except that I control the
rest of the world.
Harry: (angrily steals all of Voldie's troops
stationed in North America).
Voldie: (Angrily smacks Potter across the face)
Harry: (angrily sobs into a handkerchief with little
rubber duckies on it)
Voldie: There is only one way to solve this.
Much Later-
Voldie: (stretches to spin spinner) Right hand
green!
Harry: That's not green, that's red! What are you,
colorblind?
Voldie: It's a serious medical condition!
Harry: (laughing hysterically) I knew there was
something up with those red eyes!
Voldie: It's not funny!
Harry: Yes, it is!
Just then a group of assorted Death Eaters
dramatically leap into the room, carrying furbies under their arms. They stop
and stare at their dark master playing Twister
with his arch nemesis, Harry Potter.
Random Death Eater #1: "Uh….Boss? We got the
demonized spies from Russia. What are you doing?" (A/N: Sorry to Russians. I
bear you no ill will. I selected a random country)
Voldie: Nothing, nothing at all! (Tries to tangle
free of Potter and they both fall)
Random Death Eater #2: Sure don't look like nothing.
Voldie: It's all part of my diabolical plan! I
swear!
The Death Eaters then deem Voldermort unfit to rule
them. So they lock him and Potter in one of the dungeons and vote to make
Random Death Eater #2 their leader.
Random Death Eater #2: From this day forth I shall
be called 'The Dark Lord Slinky'. (Attempts to laugh evilly. Comes out as a
high pitched giggle)
Random Death Eater #1: (Sarcastically) Way to strike
fear in the hearts of man.
Random Death Eater #2 aka the Dark Lord Slinky: (lip
trembles with a tear in his eye) This is about the fuzzy armadillo slippers
isn't it?
Just then the furbies which the bad guys had bought
to terrorize the world were knocked over and they all woke up, mumbling in
"Furbish" at the unsuspecting Death Eaters.
Assorted Death Eaters: Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
And so the evil empire fell, due to the fact that
the Death Eaters all went insane. As to Lord Voldermort and Harry Potter, no
one ever saw them again, probably because they didn't look in the dungeon. But
some say if you go near the old Voldie place you can still hear the prisoners
last words echoing and reverberating off the stonewalls.
Harry: I told
you we should have played Candy Land!
Voldie: Quiet you!
The End
A/N: I know that was slightly painful, but it's all
over now. Or is it? Muah Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter
characters, Candy Land, Monopoly, or Risk. I do not own Furbies and I don't own
Russia. What I do own is a really cool trench coat! Seriously, if I put it on I
look all dark, and scary. But then I'm just as scary without the trench coat…..
