Chapter 4

All or Nothing

March 13, 1899

Eleazar McKinley didn't make a habit of attending social functions. The same energies others thrived on wore himdown, so he never made the effort to go anywhere. No one seemed capable of understanding. Although his sisters had tried for some time to pull him out of the shell he hid in, no matter of persuasion seemed to be enough. He was just incapable of normal social interaction. If it weren't for the fact that he remained the sole heir of his family line, Caius Lester McKinley would have thrust his only son out of the public eye long ago. This was common knowledge in the world they lived in, though the gossip surrounding the affair had run out of steam some time back. Eleazar's queer behavior was no longer a source of amusement to the circles his family ran with, and had only become a perplexing enigma. It was with mild surprise that onlookers spotted him venture outside of his cabin for the first time during the voyage, romantic literature clutched tightly to his chest.

Eleazar's lanky frame stood taller than most men his age, light hair a beacon above the heads he towered over. Although porcelain skin was a fashionable indicator of wealth, his flesh was so pale that he appeared sickly, possibly even consumptive. The sight of him turned stomachs of the few young ladies whose mothers hadn't yet ruled him out as an unacceptable bachelor. He wasn't bad looking, despite it all. However, how could any proper woman wish to marry a sickly recluse? It was one reason among many that he was still unmarried.

He pushed his way down the deck, past chaise lounges and men taking their cigars. Eyes followed him suspiciously, but no action was taken to stop his venture across the ship. Only one pair of eyes followed him without a trace of scrutiny, amusement instead coloring her petite features in comparison. She flitted to his side without an ounce of hesitation.

"Where are you going?" she trilled, matching his stride even though it made her skirts billow up unattractively. Eleazar spared the shameless young woman only a glance. Although he didn't keep up with gossip, he had heard enough from his sisters. Mary Alice was saucy and not at all afraid to speak her mind, but this didn't faze him. It was the fact that made it her mission in life to annoy him that caused all the trouble. The peril he had put their friendship in was now a constant source of frustration.

"Not now, Alice. I'm busy," he muttered, quickening his pace. She followed at his side, smiling broadly at the use of her nickname. With more strength than a proper woman should have, she strung her arm through his and tugged him back, successfully leashing him to her as if he were her spaniel.

"You? Busy? Don't make me laugh." Normally he was charmed by that impish grin, but today was different. There were far more important matters at hand, more so than minor temptations to bask in the wild girl's presence.

"I need to find my sister's husband. It's urgent." Squirming out of her grip, Eleazar paused long enough to adjust the lapels of his jacket before lodging a complaint. "Alice, you know I have no time to play with you. Aren't there other hearts for you to sink your teeth into today?"

It sounded like someone had punched all the air right out of Alice's lungs. Sure, the two enjoyed each other's company and were known to exchange wits with each other on occasion, but she hadn't expected him to be so flippant with his feelings. It was only a month prior that she had caught wind of his attraction to her. Why did boys, particularly friend-boys, have to go about ruining perfectly good relationships with emotions? Wasn't that what girls were supposed to do?

As much as she adored Eleazar, Alice couldn't feel the same way about him. For all his goodness followed the drudgery of a stable life, a life indoors, devoid of spontaneity and exploration. She didn't think she could stand a life of being married, let alone with someone she could expect the same things from every day for the rest of her life.

"That's not fair, Elly. That's not fair at all." Despite her best attempts to put on a brave face, the tips of her mouth tipped downwards as she felt a cold wash of guilt stun her into feeling. In fact, she was fairly sure she was pouting. His expression matched hers instantly, mirroring a helpless case of sadness with no visible cure. As much as she couldn't love him for their differences, it was only her polar opposite that could bring him to life.

"You've always had mine."

They stood in silence for some time, neither one sure what to say to the other. Alice stared at her hands, uncovered despite the sunlight. Eleazar did the same. Surprisingly, they both wanted the same thing. To remain friends, even if all else failed. The pallid scholar and the aimless waif were far more in need of each other than they would realize.

"I'll help you find him. Carlisle. I'll tell him you needed to see him." Her chest rose as she sucked in a deep breath and moved past him. Now was not the time for this conversation. Though sooner or later, it was bound to be had.

Short chapter, I know. I decided to go ahead and put this up now because I promised to. I'm a bit stuck and I need to go reread my notes on where this was all going. I'll be starting on the next chapter, which will be much longer, tonight.