Spartoi finished screaming like a little girl and stepped to the left, the figure landing with a heavy yet feminine thud to skid fifteen feet to a halt. Spartoi eyed the figure's ass for a second, nodding to himself in approval and crossing his arms over his chest. A look of pained inward reflection made him dash off to the bushes again. Pazusu put a hand to his forehead in extreme mental anguish and addressed himself to the figure which was picking itself off the forest floor and dusting itself. It had light green, long, wavy hair, with strange red symbols painted impressively across it's face. Pazusu noted that she was fairly attractive and abandoned his idea of disemboweling her with carefully poignant words. "Hello there Miss. I couldn't help but notice you lunging at Spartoi with-"
"Miss?!" The figure looked appalled. "Speak for yourself, dress-boy!"
Pazusu had the grace to look embarrassed. "My apologies, my Lord. It's just that your-"
"Lord?! I'm not a man!"
A couple of seconds passed in pained silence. "................huh?" Pazusu offered.
The figure smiled gently to itself. "I can understand your confusion. I am actually neither, or either I want to be."
Back in Outback, Amy's ears perked up before realizing that their current occupant was just one of the many corpses littering the booths. They compliantly passed into the abyss as one of the social workers earned his week's pay by schlepping the body off to be dissected into the monthly shipment of steaks Outback made for Black Angus.
Pazusu was shaking his head in wonder. "Why should this be unusual?" Images of Amy, Cait Sith, Lemunia, and practically every other male he had ever met at the Shinma courts danced unwanted through his mind. Raising his voice to a more normal tone, he addressed himself to the figure again, which was examining the point of his now-bent dagger. "Well sir, er, um, m-....uh. I'm not exactly sure how to address someone of your uh..unique-"
"I see that mine is BIGGER THAN YOURS!" came from the bush which Spartoi had earlier dived into. The bush he was currently alone it.
Carlua made a face. "Is he talking to his own-?"
"AIIEE AIEE AIEE AIEE!!!!!" Carlua was saved from trying to come up with an acceptable yet humorous term by the unisexual being screeching like a five-year old and shuffling giggling into the bush hiding Spartoi. The leaves hid the figure for all of three seconds before he came shuffling out again, shrieking like a two year old, having lost three years upon seeing Spartoi in the throes of the bad spinach chard he had accidentally ingested from where it had been stuck in little wads under the formica tabletop he had eaten. The figure ran shrieking into a low branch, impaling itself in the head and, eventually, dying.
"That was memorable...." Pazusu wasn't sure how true that statement was, as he was planning on later blocking the whole journey from his memory. He shook himself, reminding himself that the sooner they found Miyu and Larva, the sooner this would be over. "Very well. Let us make an inventory...."
"My zit's stopped throbbing!" Lemunia piped cheerfully up. Carlua eyed the pimple distastefully, for a moment having a fleeting desire the take it in her teeth and worry it like a dog with a bone. The desire passed and Carlua promptly threw up on Lemunia. She wiped her mouth and grimaced. "What a horrible thought....."
Lemunia glowered at her, taking his hands from her breasts to wipe off the vomit which she had somehow managed to project over her shoulder and hit him in the face with. He gathered it into his hands in a sad little puddle, eyeing it's green depths, then shrugged and placed it into his pocket. "I dunno, I thought it was a good thing."
"ARGG! The chard! It PAINS ME! IT'S EATING MY INNARDS!"
Pazusu sat down on the ground and cried like a five year old Welsh prostitute.
"Miss?!" The figure looked appalled. "Speak for yourself, dress-boy!"
Pazusu had the grace to look embarrassed. "My apologies, my Lord. It's just that your-"
"Lord?! I'm not a man!"
A couple of seconds passed in pained silence. "................huh?" Pazusu offered.
The figure smiled gently to itself. "I can understand your confusion. I am actually neither, or either I want to be."
Back in Outback, Amy's ears perked up before realizing that their current occupant was just one of the many corpses littering the booths. They compliantly passed into the abyss as one of the social workers earned his week's pay by schlepping the body off to be dissected into the monthly shipment of steaks Outback made for Black Angus.
Pazusu was shaking his head in wonder. "Why should this be unusual?" Images of Amy, Cait Sith, Lemunia, and practically every other male he had ever met at the Shinma courts danced unwanted through his mind. Raising his voice to a more normal tone, he addressed himself to the figure again, which was examining the point of his now-bent dagger. "Well sir, er, um, m-....uh. I'm not exactly sure how to address someone of your uh..unique-"
"I see that mine is BIGGER THAN YOURS!" came from the bush which Spartoi had earlier dived into. The bush he was currently alone it.
Carlua made a face. "Is he talking to his own-?"
"AIIEE AIEE AIEE AIEE!!!!!" Carlua was saved from trying to come up with an acceptable yet humorous term by the unisexual being screeching like a five-year old and shuffling giggling into the bush hiding Spartoi. The leaves hid the figure for all of three seconds before he came shuffling out again, shrieking like a two year old, having lost three years upon seeing Spartoi in the throes of the bad spinach chard he had accidentally ingested from where it had been stuck in little wads under the formica tabletop he had eaten. The figure ran shrieking into a low branch, impaling itself in the head and, eventually, dying.
"That was memorable...." Pazusu wasn't sure how true that statement was, as he was planning on later blocking the whole journey from his memory. He shook himself, reminding himself that the sooner they found Miyu and Larva, the sooner this would be over. "Very well. Let us make an inventory...."
"My zit's stopped throbbing!" Lemunia piped cheerfully up. Carlua eyed the pimple distastefully, for a moment having a fleeting desire the take it in her teeth and worry it like a dog with a bone. The desire passed and Carlua promptly threw up on Lemunia. She wiped her mouth and grimaced. "What a horrible thought....."
Lemunia glowered at her, taking his hands from her breasts to wipe off the vomit which she had somehow managed to project over her shoulder and hit him in the face with. He gathered it into his hands in a sad little puddle, eyeing it's green depths, then shrugged and placed it into his pocket. "I dunno, I thought it was a good thing."
"ARGG! The chard! It PAINS ME! IT'S EATING MY INNARDS!"
Pazusu sat down on the ground and cried like a five year old Welsh prostitute.