This only makes sense if you've seen the OAV's. But then again....even if you have, you're gonna need help. Or maybe it's me who needs help...
"Says you, woman"
-Re:Death
Brief tips for the wary reader: Earlier, I wrote a few parodies involving Larva and Miyu. They were based off a particular unnamed fanfiction, so it would be rude to publish it, but there it is anyway. Here's the idiot's (referring to me, not you) guide to inside jokes you might not understand:
Larva stalks people. Chronically
Larva is referred to as 'The Help'
Larva has an unholy tendency to want to stab people in the neck with a pencil (Including Miyu)
For some reason, in this rendering, Larva (and everyone else) seems to be devoid of all stoic beauty, rational thought, or sanity. Go figure...
Suzie's is the name of an adult store in Stockton. They're not in Stockton (although they could be...hmm....) but I didn't feel like dredging up an imaginary name for an adult store.
For those of you who recognize this (yeah I know, cheap move, taking it down) yes, this IS The Anecdote will be Commenced, but the story was 1: Originally supposed to be short, 2: Originally supposed to be purely a Himiko-bashing experience, and 3: Banned in Canada, but as nothing is turning out as I originally planned, I reposted it up again (woo). Also, it was getting kind of shoved back out of the way. I just needed a new layer of lead paint and I'm ready to go again.
New Rules: I suck. I know I know, I'm not a writer, but still, if someone writes "Please continue", or "I love this; keep going", very likely I won't. I also have no brain. This has kind of grown of it's own accord, and while I originally had a plan and direction for this whole story sort of thing, I don't anymore. So here's the deal. If you read it, leave a review. That means people are actually enjoying it, and it will delude me into thinking people don't want me to take it down. Also, if you want a new chapter, drop a completely random phrase or concept in with your message, and I'll include it in my story. For example, someone mentioned raspberry pudding, someone mentioned Outback, and I got some other ideas that I haven't gotten around to yet (One. The flaming you-know-whats). So yeah. Again: Absolutely any idea I get, no matter how boring, grotesque, off the wall or unrelated will get added in some way (the brick of meatloaf was another suggestion). SO DOOOO stuff. And if you want a place in the story, if you drop your description you'll be put in, guaranteed. Ok, no more talkie. Now it's time for my newly mistake-free Frankenstein story,
Potted Meat Food Product
(don't ASK me why)
(this is how I go when I go like this)
Droplets of rain slid down the wall of the alley where a lone man huddled, clutching the prize he had lifted from a local store. He came here often at night, to sleep, whenever he couldn't sleep in the park. Such as now, when it was raining. He scowled up at the rain, then yowled when a few drops got in his eyes. He rubbed them with the back of his hand, the result being the water and dirt mixing to form mud in them, which he liked even less.
"Damn f-f-f-ferrets," he panted. A curious pattering sound was coming into the mouth of the alley, and he spared a moment to wonder what it was, then opened his stolen packet of Kool-Aid and held it up to the rain, the side he had opened facing down. He growled at it, then screamed as something slammed into his back.
"AAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AIIYE AIYE AIYE AIYE!!!!!!!!!!!" A strangely mannish high-pitch banshee wail made him look up from where his nose was pressed to the pavement. He appeared to be confronting a yellow thong. He wondered why a thong would attack him. A skirt was pulled over the thong by a pair of hands, then a face appeared as a figure knelt down to put it's face level to his
"Um...oops." The figure was female, with a very low-cut shirt which the man was enjoying peering down, and an obscenely high skirt with a pair of thigh-high white leather slut-boots. She had short, chin-length brown hair, with brown eyes and some sort of growth sprouting out from under one eye. She picked them both up and introduced herself.
"Hi, I'm a spiritualist, Se Himiko."
"Himiko"
"Not 'say', Se"
"Oh. Good."
"Um, sorry about that, I thought you were in trouble."
"So you decided to floor me." The man was sane enough to see that this person was very annoying.
"Well...do you believe in vampires?"
"No. I believe in pistachio embryos."
"Oh, well, a cross isn't going to protect you from that. But I thought you were being attacked by a vampire."
"The only ones who have been attacking me are you, the rain, and my box."
"Oh. Well, if you see her, um, don't let her kill you, ok?"
"Who?"
"The vampire."
"What vampire?"
"The vampire who was attacking you."
"A vampire was attacking me?!?"
Himiko brightened. "A vampire was attacking you?"
"Um...yes. She took my Kool-Aid."
"I see. I must stop that little demon."
"Why?"
"Because she turned me into a vampire."
"But, isn't that a bit hypocritical?"
"No."
"Oh, ok."
He turned and shuffled down the alley a little way, then rummaged in a box and brought something back to Himiko. "Here. Here's a rat to gnaw that thing off your face."
Himiko took the rat, threw it down the alleyway and stalked off.
Larva stood in the shadows, watching Himiko molest some Kool-Aid toting bum. The man gave her something, then the next thing he knew something small and furry hit him in the mask, fell down the front of his cloak, and then there was a rat lost someplace in it. He screeched, jumping about, trying to dislodge the rodent. The man was staring at him oddly. Larva stared at him oddly, the effect being lost since he was wearing the mask that he usually wore to keep from being jumped and gang-raped by wandering bands of horny teeny-boppers, since he closely resembled, he had been told, a member of N'sync. That was blasphemy in his eyes, and he had mauled the person who had told him that, but it was better to be safe than sorry. The man offered to reach in and help him, but Larva casually threw him onto a nearby roof, in lieu of simply saying no thank you. He dislodged the mouse and threw it up to keep the bum company, and stalked off into Miyu's realm to wait until she got home from school. She still made him refer to it as 'her realm', even though she had a real room, and he was in it more often. When he wasn't out stalking Himiko, silently wishing he could jab a pencil in her neck. Miyu appeared before him, and he scowled at her from underneath his mask. She had pummeled him last night, for appearing in the restaurant where she had been having a shake with her friends and asking, quite pleasantly, he thought, if he could please jab Himiko in the neck with a pencil. For some reason her friends seemed to be more upset about it than she was, but she HAD pummeled him for trying to carry off the toy grabber, since he had wasted five quarters on it and he really wanted the neon orange stuffed armadillo. One of the waitresses tried to get him to buy a Mochaccino, but Miyu had hustled him out at that point muttering about 'inconspicuous'. He HAD been inconspicuous! He had placed a bag over his head and wrote 'This is not Larva's head' on it. No one would know, anyway.
She gave him an odd look and said "Where you at my school today?"
"Noooooo," he lied innocently.
"Oh. Well, SOMEBODY was, and the supplies closet was raided for pencils, and someone doodled a picture of a dead slut with a pencil through her neck on the girl's room stall."
"That was the girl's room? Eeeeewie"
Miyu casually backhanded him, bruising her hand on his metal mask, and sat on his lap. She peeked up at him through her eyelashes, and said coyly, "You're not getting any tonight."
He sighed, then took off his mask. "I WAS doodling in the stall, but I raided no supplies closet, and I wasn't anywhere else than the stall."
She finally nodded, and he placed his mask over his face before sticking his tongue out at her, the result being he got his nostril wet. "Does that mean we're going out hunting for the Shinma tonight?" he asked.
"What? I can't understand you, take that thing off."
He removed his mask and repeated the question.
"Yes-" She stopped, shifting about on his lap with a queer expression before turning and pounding her fist on the top of his head. "LARVA!"
"Ah! It's a pencil!" He rummaged through his cloak and brought out the pencil that had been poking Miyu and showed it to her for proof. "See?"
"Oh," she patted him where she had pounded her fist. "Sorry."
"And," he replied haughtily, "the implication is insulting."
"Sorry."
"It's ok. Say, Miyu, my mistress, can I-"
"Leave Himiko's neck alone. If I can, you can"
"Fine. Let's go."
Larva cast a transportation spell, and they were at the school, standing in an empty hallway.
"Let's search for-" Miyu was interrupted by a familiar banshee wail, and sidestepped just in time to let Himiko sail past to her left to smash herself against a locker. She got up, panting.
"I...found you!" Miyu smiled indulgently, making thoughts of homicide dance through Himiko's head. "AAAAIIIIEEE!!!! Vampire!!!!!!!!!!!" Himiko yelled, pointing two fingers at Miyu. Miyu faded away, outweirded by Himiko, who was left in the hallway alone to be stared at by the janitor.
"Says you, woman"
-Re:Death
Brief tips for the wary reader: Earlier, I wrote a few parodies involving Larva and Miyu. They were based off a particular unnamed fanfiction, so it would be rude to publish it, but there it is anyway. Here's the idiot's (referring to me, not you) guide to inside jokes you might not understand:
Larva stalks people. Chronically
Larva is referred to as 'The Help'
Larva has an unholy tendency to want to stab people in the neck with a pencil (Including Miyu)
For some reason, in this rendering, Larva (and everyone else) seems to be devoid of all stoic beauty, rational thought, or sanity. Go figure...
Suzie's is the name of an adult store in Stockton. They're not in Stockton (although they could be...hmm....) but I didn't feel like dredging up an imaginary name for an adult store.
For those of you who recognize this (yeah I know, cheap move, taking it down) yes, this IS The Anecdote will be Commenced, but the story was 1: Originally supposed to be short, 2: Originally supposed to be purely a Himiko-bashing experience, and 3: Banned in Canada, but as nothing is turning out as I originally planned, I reposted it up again (woo). Also, it was getting kind of shoved back out of the way. I just needed a new layer of lead paint and I'm ready to go again.
New Rules: I suck. I know I know, I'm not a writer, but still, if someone writes "Please continue", or "I love this; keep going", very likely I won't. I also have no brain. This has kind of grown of it's own accord, and while I originally had a plan and direction for this whole story sort of thing, I don't anymore. So here's the deal. If you read it, leave a review. That means people are actually enjoying it, and it will delude me into thinking people don't want me to take it down. Also, if you want a new chapter, drop a completely random phrase or concept in with your message, and I'll include it in my story. For example, someone mentioned raspberry pudding, someone mentioned Outback, and I got some other ideas that I haven't gotten around to yet (One. The flaming you-know-whats). So yeah. Again: Absolutely any idea I get, no matter how boring, grotesque, off the wall or unrelated will get added in some way (the brick of meatloaf was another suggestion). SO DOOOO stuff. And if you want a place in the story, if you drop your description you'll be put in, guaranteed. Ok, no more talkie. Now it's time for my newly mistake-free Frankenstein story,
Potted Meat Food Product
(don't ASK me why)
(this is how I go when I go like this)
Droplets of rain slid down the wall of the alley where a lone man huddled, clutching the prize he had lifted from a local store. He came here often at night, to sleep, whenever he couldn't sleep in the park. Such as now, when it was raining. He scowled up at the rain, then yowled when a few drops got in his eyes. He rubbed them with the back of his hand, the result being the water and dirt mixing to form mud in them, which he liked even less.
"Damn f-f-f-ferrets," he panted. A curious pattering sound was coming into the mouth of the alley, and he spared a moment to wonder what it was, then opened his stolen packet of Kool-Aid and held it up to the rain, the side he had opened facing down. He growled at it, then screamed as something slammed into his back.
"AAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AIIYE AIYE AIYE AIYE!!!!!!!!!!!" A strangely mannish high-pitch banshee wail made him look up from where his nose was pressed to the pavement. He appeared to be confronting a yellow thong. He wondered why a thong would attack him. A skirt was pulled over the thong by a pair of hands, then a face appeared as a figure knelt down to put it's face level to his
"Um...oops." The figure was female, with a very low-cut shirt which the man was enjoying peering down, and an obscenely high skirt with a pair of thigh-high white leather slut-boots. She had short, chin-length brown hair, with brown eyes and some sort of growth sprouting out from under one eye. She picked them both up and introduced herself.
"Hi, I'm a spiritualist, Se Himiko."
"Himiko"
"Not 'say', Se"
"Oh. Good."
"Um, sorry about that, I thought you were in trouble."
"So you decided to floor me." The man was sane enough to see that this person was very annoying.
"Well...do you believe in vampires?"
"No. I believe in pistachio embryos."
"Oh, well, a cross isn't going to protect you from that. But I thought you were being attacked by a vampire."
"The only ones who have been attacking me are you, the rain, and my box."
"Oh. Well, if you see her, um, don't let her kill you, ok?"
"Who?"
"The vampire."
"What vampire?"
"The vampire who was attacking you."
"A vampire was attacking me?!?"
Himiko brightened. "A vampire was attacking you?"
"Um...yes. She took my Kool-Aid."
"I see. I must stop that little demon."
"Why?"
"Because she turned me into a vampire."
"But, isn't that a bit hypocritical?"
"No."
"Oh, ok."
He turned and shuffled down the alley a little way, then rummaged in a box and brought something back to Himiko. "Here. Here's a rat to gnaw that thing off your face."
Himiko took the rat, threw it down the alleyway and stalked off.
Larva stood in the shadows, watching Himiko molest some Kool-Aid toting bum. The man gave her something, then the next thing he knew something small and furry hit him in the mask, fell down the front of his cloak, and then there was a rat lost someplace in it. He screeched, jumping about, trying to dislodge the rodent. The man was staring at him oddly. Larva stared at him oddly, the effect being lost since he was wearing the mask that he usually wore to keep from being jumped and gang-raped by wandering bands of horny teeny-boppers, since he closely resembled, he had been told, a member of N'sync. That was blasphemy in his eyes, and he had mauled the person who had told him that, but it was better to be safe than sorry. The man offered to reach in and help him, but Larva casually threw him onto a nearby roof, in lieu of simply saying no thank you. He dislodged the mouse and threw it up to keep the bum company, and stalked off into Miyu's realm to wait until she got home from school. She still made him refer to it as 'her realm', even though she had a real room, and he was in it more often. When he wasn't out stalking Himiko, silently wishing he could jab a pencil in her neck. Miyu appeared before him, and he scowled at her from underneath his mask. She had pummeled him last night, for appearing in the restaurant where she had been having a shake with her friends and asking, quite pleasantly, he thought, if he could please jab Himiko in the neck with a pencil. For some reason her friends seemed to be more upset about it than she was, but she HAD pummeled him for trying to carry off the toy grabber, since he had wasted five quarters on it and he really wanted the neon orange stuffed armadillo. One of the waitresses tried to get him to buy a Mochaccino, but Miyu had hustled him out at that point muttering about 'inconspicuous'. He HAD been inconspicuous! He had placed a bag over his head and wrote 'This is not Larva's head' on it. No one would know, anyway.
She gave him an odd look and said "Where you at my school today?"
"Noooooo," he lied innocently.
"Oh. Well, SOMEBODY was, and the supplies closet was raided for pencils, and someone doodled a picture of a dead slut with a pencil through her neck on the girl's room stall."
"That was the girl's room? Eeeeewie"
Miyu casually backhanded him, bruising her hand on his metal mask, and sat on his lap. She peeked up at him through her eyelashes, and said coyly, "You're not getting any tonight."
He sighed, then took off his mask. "I WAS doodling in the stall, but I raided no supplies closet, and I wasn't anywhere else than the stall."
She finally nodded, and he placed his mask over his face before sticking his tongue out at her, the result being he got his nostril wet. "Does that mean we're going out hunting for the Shinma tonight?" he asked.
"What? I can't understand you, take that thing off."
He removed his mask and repeated the question.
"Yes-" She stopped, shifting about on his lap with a queer expression before turning and pounding her fist on the top of his head. "LARVA!"
"Ah! It's a pencil!" He rummaged through his cloak and brought out the pencil that had been poking Miyu and showed it to her for proof. "See?"
"Oh," she patted him where she had pounded her fist. "Sorry."
"And," he replied haughtily, "the implication is insulting."
"Sorry."
"It's ok. Say, Miyu, my mistress, can I-"
"Leave Himiko's neck alone. If I can, you can"
"Fine. Let's go."
Larva cast a transportation spell, and they were at the school, standing in an empty hallway.
"Let's search for-" Miyu was interrupted by a familiar banshee wail, and sidestepped just in time to let Himiko sail past to her left to smash herself against a locker. She got up, panting.
"I...found you!" Miyu smiled indulgently, making thoughts of homicide dance through Himiko's head. "AAAAIIIIEEE!!!! Vampire!!!!!!!!!!!" Himiko yelled, pointing two fingers at Miyu. Miyu faded away, outweirded by Himiko, who was left in the hallway alone to be stared at by the janitor.