Spoiler Alert: ZOMG SPOILERS!!!
Wuzzup beezotches?! XP So I got kinda slightly randomly obsessive with DeiTobi pairings after reading the chapter in Shippuden where DeiDei dies... And so THIS was born! Fear the things that inspire my fanfiction. Fear and WORSHIP them...
Deidara: She's insane, un...
NL: I am not!
Deidara: -gives look-
NL: -giggles- Maybe just a little bit.
Deidara: -gives another look-
NL: Okay fiiine. -rolls eyes- Jeez, getting told I'm insane by Deidara
Pairings: TobiXDeidara(or DeidaraXTobi. Whatever, I just write them down. It means nothing), and hints of DeidaraXSasori
Disclaimer: NL OWNS NOTHING! NOTHING I TELL YOU! AND SHE ANGSTS ABOUT THAT SO STFU FUCKERS!!! ...Tobi fangirl mixed with Hidan fangirl equals bad things...
Warnings: Character deaths, angst, cuteness(cuz that needs a warning lol)
Darkest Crimson, Purest Love
Deidara inwardly groaned. Tobi was in another one of his moods where he saw fit to question the meaning of life. Of course, Deidara was always the victim of Tobi's questions. "Leave me alone, un!" The blond artist had been trying to sculpt, but the boy in the swirly mask that also occupied the room seemed determined to make that an impossibility.
"But senpai, this is important!" Tobi whined. Deidara sighed and dropped his clay on the table, spinning around in his chair so that he could glare at Tobi.
"What?" The artist snapped. Tobi hung his head.
"Tobi's sorry, senpai. Is Tobi bothering you?"
Deidara gave an exasperated sighed, massaging his forehead in anticipation of the oncoming headache that his partner always seemed to cause. "Yes, you're bothering me, un. Stop speaking in third person and ask your damn question."
"T- I'm sorry, senpai! I'll stop bothering you if you want!"
"Just ask your question!" Deidara all but growled.
"Senpai.." Tobi began. "Itachi-sama said that you used to be fun.. Before your danna died..."
Deidara gazed out of the single window in the shared bedroom, his voice soft and hardly audible. "That's not a question, un.."
"He said you were really sad," Tobi continued. "So sad that you stopped being like you used to be. Are you still sad, senpai?"
Deidara was silent for a long time. It was strange for Tobi to ask such a serious question, or to be serious at all, for that matter. The ex-Iwa nin wondered what had brought such a change in his partner, and why he had been talking to Itachi about the past. Finally, the silence was broken. "Yeah.. I'm still sad, un..."
"Oh..." Everything was quiet for a while, as though a funeral had begun. Because of this, when the silence was finally broken, it was done so with little more than a whisper. "What was he like, senpai?"
Deidara glanced over at the masked ninja. "Sasori no Danna, un?" Tobi nodded, and Deidara smiled ever so slightly, turning back to the window. "He... He was amazing... He was a good artist, even though I didn't like his style, un.. He.. Could be mean sometimes.. But sometimes he wasn't. Sometimes we didn't fight, un.. But, even when we were arguing about our art.. I still liked it... I still miss him, and everything... I even miss the arguing, un..."
"Did you love him, senpai?" Tobi whispered. Deidara had forgotten that his partner was there. He had forgotten that he was pouring his heart out to the other Akatsuki member, and that he wasn't alone in the room. He mentally shrugged; he may as well finish.
"Yeah.. He was my danna, un.. Of course I loved him..:
"But-"
"I know what you meant.. And I loved him like that too, un.."
"Senpai... Does it hurt?" Deidara finally turned his gaze back to Tobi. He stared at the gaudy orange mask, vaguely wondering about the face it concealed. He wondered what emotion showed on that face, though he knew that Tobi was worried. He could hear it in his voice, a voice also laced with a drop of sadness. Deidara slowly nodded.
"It hurts. I'm in hell, un."
"Senpai, why don't you smile?" The question surprised Deidara. It hadn't been spoken in the quiet tone the rest of the conversation had been in, and it almost sounded optimistic, as if Tobi was smiling. Deidara looked at his partner like the boy was insane.
"What have we just been discussing, un?" the blond asked slowly.
"You should smile, senpai," Tobi said seriously, but his voice still held a hint of happiness.
"I can't, un," Deidara said, looking away once again. "Not without my Danna..."
Deidara's gaze was wrenched back to Tobi as the masked ninja's gloved fingertips touched the ex-Iwa's face. "What are you doing, un?!" Deidara was actually semi-frightened, unsure of what his partner was planning to do. Tobi ignored him, and pushed up the corners of Deidara's mouth in an attempt to force him to smile.
"Senpai should smile." There was no doubt about the cheeriness in Tobi's voice now. "Your danna knows you love him now, because senpai didn't tell him before."
"How do you know that, un?" Deidara could tell that Tobi's smile, behind the mask, had widened. The masked ninja was positively radiating happiness.
"Itachi-sama told me. Senpai, you should tell people how you feel."
Deidara sighed. "I'll try to keep that in mind, un.."
Tobi sat in a chair next to his senpai. "How do you feel right now, senpai?"
Deidara stared at the orange mask, knowing he met Tobi's eye. "Curious."
Tobi's head tilted to the side. "About what?"
"What's behind the mask." The blond reached for the swirled item, but Tobi stood up, moving out of Deidara's reach.
"You shouldn't do that, senpai.." Tobi said, shame clear in his voice and posture as he stared at the floor.
"Why not, un?" Deidara asked curiously. His partner was silent, so he carefully walked closer to him. "Why do you wear a mask, un?"
"Tobi doesn't want senpai to see... Tobi's face.."
The blond frowned. "Why? What's wrong with it, un?" Tobi was silent once again, and Deidara fidgeted uncomfortably. "Did something happen? Is it your whole face?"
"Only one side," Tobi replied quietly. Deidara was silent for a bit before an idea popped into his mind.
"What if.. I cover that part?" he asked. "Then you wouldn't have to worry, un."
There was an uncertain pause, then Tobi slowly nodded. Deidara stepped forward, playing his hands on either side of his partner's mask. "Senpai, wait!" said partner squeaked out, an edge of panic in his voice. "Close your eyes."
Deidara sighed and did as he was told. 'This is so idiotic...' he thought to himself, but a moment later his thoughts were silenced as Tobi placed his hand's over Deidara's, and together they removed the mask. Tobi took it, and gently set it on the desk. "What now, un?" Deidara asked impatiently, tempted to peek. Tobi calmly took the ex-Iwa's hand, placing, and holding, it over the side of his face he wished to keep hidden.
Deidara felt a rough texture under the skin of his hand. His fingertips and closed mouth brushed over uneven portions of skin. Tobi's hand pressed harder, holding Deidara's still. "Can I look now, un?"
"Yes," Tobi replied, and Deidara eagerly opened his eyes. Sapphire met chocolate, and Deidara's breath caught in his throat. Though their hands covered half of his face, it was easy to tell that Tobi was good looking. Deidara was surprised, because he had become used to the orange monstrosity that was Tobi's mask. This face was something new; something beautiful.
The dark eyes were clouded with confusion. "Senpai, why did you want to see my face?"
"Being in the Akatsuki is like being part of my art, un," Deidara said softly. "What's hidden under my hand?"
Tobi tried to break their gaze, but found himself unable to do so. Instead, he chose to ignore Deidara's question, and focus on his statement. "What do you mean? About the Akatsuki?"
Deidara did break their gaze, looking, once again, out the window. "Danna, he... His life... Was like my art, un.. Fleeting... Gone.."
"Senpai..." Deidara's own sadness was shown in Tobi's voice.
"We'll be gone soon too.." The artist's gaze returned to his partner's eye. "Let me see your face, un..?"
"No, senpai."
"Why not, un?" Deidara's voice was more angry now, frustrated. "Why can't I see?"
"Tobi's face.. You'll hate me, senpai..."
"Don't be stupid, un." Deidara was glaring then, and he tried to move his hand away. Tobi held it firmly in place.
"Senpai, you promised you wouldn't look!" Tobi felt ashamed and betrayed, and it was portrayed in his voice. Deidara simply growled and kicked out, swiping Tobi's legs out from beneath the boy. They both fell, Deidara wrenching his hand away from Tobi in the process. When they landed, the blond's hands were on the floor on either side of his partner's head, with his knees on either side of the boy's waist. Tobi was staring up at him in shock, too stunned to think about covering his face.
Blue eyes drank in Tobi's face, both of the visible sides fitting together like a broken puzzle. The artist understood, at that moment, why his partner wore that mask. Deidara shifted his weight as he absent-mindedly reached a hand up to stroke the raised scars. He softly ran his fingertips over the marred skin, mesmerized by his own action. Finally, he met Tobi's eye, for the other one was too scarred to be of any use, and smiled sadly. "I don't hate you, un."
Tobi stared at him, shock still alight on his face. Deidara climbed off of him, standing to walk to his chair. Tobi sat up on the floor, and the two stared at each other in silence before Tobi's head titled to the side. "Senpai's like his danna."
Deidara gave him a strange look. "How?"
"Well.." Tobi fiddled with the sleeve of his cloak. "Senpai's mean to Tobi, even though Tobi's a good boy, like senpai's danna was to him."
Deidara frowned at this and would have said something, but Tobi started talking again. "And senpai's a great artist, like he said his danna was. And.." He paused dramatically. "Senpai's pretty."
A light blush graced the ex-Iwa nin's cheeks as he glared at Tobi. "Men don't like to be called pretty, un."
Tobi's face took on a look of innocent confusion. "Should Tobi called senpai sexy?"
Deidara's blush darkened. "Of course not, un!"
"Why is senpai blushing?" Tobi asked innocently. "Tobi's not senpai's danna."
"That's obvious, un.." Deidara snorted.
"Then why is senpai blushing?"
"You called me pretty, un! And then sexy!" Deidara said, angry with Tobi's ignorance. "Of course I'm going to blush!"
"Would senpai blush if Itachi-sama called him pretty?" Tobi asked. Deidara was at a loss for words for a moment.
"That's not the point, un!"
"Senpai, you agreed that not sharing your feelings was bad," Tobi scolded.
"I'm not hiding my feelings!" Deidara protested. "You don't know what you're talking about, un!"
A self-satisfied smile split Tobi's face. "Senpai likes Tobi."
"What?! I do not, un!" In Deidara's anger and embarrassment, he failed to notice Tobi's movement until the boy was only a couple of inches from his face.
"Do too!" The smile hadn't left his face. Deidara's cheeks were bright pink as he attempted to move away from his partner, but his movement was prevented as the chair was backed up against his desk.
"I do not!"
"Want Tobi to prove it, senpai?" the boy asked mischievously. "Tobi might not be senpai's danna, but still.."
Deidara snorted, adverting his gaze. "Like you could, un.." But he was nervous, and he knew Tobi could tell. He didn't know what Tobi was up to, and that scared him. Usually, the boy was quite predictable. Tobi's smile widened.
"Wanna make a bet, senpai?" Deidara was silent, and soon he felt Tobi's breath near his lips. "Tobi can prove it."
"Get away, un." Deidara glared half-heartedly. Tobi let out a small breath, the warm air tickling his senpai's lips. Blue met brown once again, the stare being held as Deidara waited for Tobi to make his next move.
Tobi waited, knowing full well how he was torturing Deidara. He knew that his senpai was becoming frustrated and enraged with the suspense. Tobi's facial expression was near a smirk, yet softer, as he finally closed the distance between himself and Deidara. He felt the blond's hesitation, yet wasn't surprised when Deidara started to kiss back. Tobi pulled back, his single eye shining. "Told you, senpai!" he said, smiling triumphantly, before happily walking over and laying down on Deidara's bed.
Deidara was glaring, but Tobi seemed happily oblivious to the fact. "That wasn't fair, un."
Tobi rolled over onto his stomach, propping his chin in his hands. He head tilted to the side slightly as he looked at the ex-Iwa. "Why not?"
"You jumped me, un!" Deidara growled. Tobi giggled at him.
"Did not, senpai! Tobi only kissed you!"
"That's not what I meant, un!"
Tobi sighed and rolled back over, clearly enjoying himself. "Whatever you said, senpai..."
Deidara growled, and jumped on Tobi, straddling his hips as he glared down into his eye. "You're not Danna, un."
Tobi looked up innocently. "Tobi never said he was, senpai.." He frowned. "Senpai, you shouldn't be like your danna either..."
"What do you mean? What's wrong with being like Sasori no Danna?"
"Because.. He was like your art.." Tobi replied sadly. Deidara looked down, dawning realization alight in his eyes.
"But my art won't be finished until I die, un.. I won't get old, Tobi," he said softly, almost sadly. Tobi was silent, and refused to meet Deidara's gaze. "Tobi.. Look at me, un."
The boy did, and Deidara saw that his brown eye was filled with unshed tears. "Senpai.. I don't want you to die.." As tears began to fall, Deidara leaned down to kiss them away.
"Don't worry about me, un.."
"Senpai, please don't leave me!" Tobi pleaded. "Don't be like Sasori-sama!"
Deidara pressed his lips to Tobi's. "I won't leave you," he whispered against his partner's lips. Tobi wrapped his arms around Deidara's neck, pulling him as close as he could.
"Promise?"
Deidara kissed him again. "Promise, un."
- - -
Tobi dropped his mask on the ruined ground. Looking around, the chaos Deidara had caused could be seen. The land was torn apart with the aftermath of battle. The explosives expert that had caused the large portion of the destruction was no where to be seen.
Tobi turned his face to the sky, tears streaming down his face. "Senpai.. You lied.. You said you wouldn't leave me!" He fell to his knees. "You said you wouldn't be like your danna..."
After the tears finally stopped, Tobi wordlessly picked up his mask. His eye was devoid of any light, his expression blank. He slipped the mask over his face, walking back to the Akatsuki headquarters.
That day changed Tobi, even as he revealed his true identity to the others. An identity never known by Deidara. One hidden by a genjutsu. Tobi never smiled again, hardly showing any real emotion. None of the other members mentioned this change, especially not to Tobi (they were afraid), but all of them knew the truth.
Two Akatsuki members died that day. Deidara had not only blown his own life away with that explosion, he had taken Tobi with him. The Tobi everyone had once known had died that day, only to be replaced by this new entity to be feared and respected for his power and heartlessness. He was like a zombie with no feelings or thoughts. Killing without a second thought, barely realizing his actions. He ran on pure, brutal instinct, for the rest of him was far away.
In the end, Deidara had been like Sasori. His life was fleeting, beautiful, as he had always believe true art to be. The difference between the two artists was that Deidara had taken Tobi with him. Sasori may have deeply wounded Deidara, but Deidara had murdered his partner. A murder without blood or bruises, completely clean, and yet so much more final than any others he had committed in his short life.
Dark thoughts on the matter would at times pass through the other members' minds. They vaguely wondered if Tobi's heart had stopped beating, or if he really was just a ghost. Some of them wondered what exactly had transpired between Tobi and Deidara. They wondered what went on in Tobi's mind, what he thought about. Many questions ran through their minds, but all of them knew one thing: Tobi was just as dead as his partner, and even more broken than the ex-Iwa had been after Sasori's death. The pieces that were Tobi could never be put back together, for his heart and soul were with Deidara.
END
And THIS is what happens when NL gets the urge to write angst.. But it's not my fault that part of the manga was so EFFING depressing! And this is how I justify it.. 'Cuz I can't believe that Deidara's death and Tobi coming out in his evilness were not somehow linked. Heh, but maybe that's just the yaoi fangirl in me rearing its ugly head.. -shivers- Anyway, I hope you liked this little ficcy of mine. Please review! Oh, and if you get the urge to do fanart of anything in this fic, please do, and let me know. I've been feeling sad that no one ever gives me fanart for my fanfiction... .