Well, this is the moment you have all been waiting for…Or not. It is entirely possible that no one cares. To those people I say- Go read some HP/GW pwp. It should be more to your liking.
This story is… Gimme an S! 'S' Gimme an L! 'L' Gimme an A! 'A' Gimme another S! 'S' Gimme an H! 'H' What's that spell? 'Slash!' That's right! Slash, particularly of the Sirry variety. So let's all wave bye-bye to cannon, it won't be joining us on this little trip. Please keep all hands, feet, and naughty bits inside the car at all times. And please do not kidnap or lick the unsuspecting characters. Thank you, and have fun on Ms. Third Person Omniscient's wild ride.
OOOOhhhh….before I forget, Much thankies go to Lady Starlight So Kiss My Ass, because she helped me ever so much…So, I would just like to extend a hug, and an undead monkey of gratitude.
Gah…I promise this is my last note before the story begins, but here goes. DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON! This story is rated M for a reason. Hell, the first chapter starts with…Yeah, you'll see. But honestly folks, if you don't like ships with two hot dudes doing their thang, please do not read. If you do, enjoy…
I promise this is the last thing…I OWN NOTHING. Well, you know, besides a computer, and a bottle of cherry coke. So please, have a heart, don't sue…Hah, like anyone who actually could is reading this. (Let's all be cynical, shall we?)
"Why'd you stop?" Sirius was breathy, a bit sweaty, and in Harry's eyes, hot as hell.
"I want you to come inside me." Harry was still a bit shocked that he was able to say such things. But the how never truly seemed to matter in these situations.
Sirius grabbed the younger man in a rough kiss, and somehow managed to have a bottle of lotion appear in his hands, but of course the man was magic, wasn't he?
Harry snatched the lotion and squeezed some onto his hands, and then trailed his fingers up and down Sirius's erect cock, feeling the older man shiver under him. He was enjoying the sight of Sirius completely engrossed in pleasure, and those moans he was making should have been illegal. But he couldn't loose sight of his goal. He stopped again. Sirius made another whine of protest, but one look was all he needed to take Harry by the shoulders, and flip them both over, with a speed and grace quite unexpected.
Slowly enough to not hurt Harry, the animagus pushed two slick fingers inside him, to stretch him. And suddenly, Harry let out a guttural moan. Sirius had found the spot. Curling his fingers to hit it again, he gave it a quick stroke before inserting a third finger. Harry was now approaching purring as the older man removed the fingers.
Again taking care to avoid causing Harry pain, Sirius slid his cock inside Harry. He remained still for a moment, or for as long as he could, before Harry began to beg for Sirius to 'Just goddamn move already!' And so he did. He thrust in and out progressively faster, hitting Harry's prostate head on, as Harry bucked his hips wildly to meet him.
The moans that each made just served to bring the other closer to completion. If any coherent thought was left, Sirius or Harry may have said a quick thanks to the gods for silencing charms. But none was. Soon enough, maybe sooner than Sirius would have liked, he growled Harry's name, and felt satisfied. He gave Harry's cock a few quick strokes, and the younger man came screaming his lover's name.
Moments later the pair were curled together, tired. Sex, after all, was the great energy drainer.
"Siri?"
"Yes Harry?"
"Love you , Siri."
"Love you too, Bob."
Harry awoke with a start, slightly sticky boxers, and an epiphany. I need to get laid. It was nearly the end of the school year, and the only partner he had since he left Grimmauld Place was his own hand. It was rather sad, really.
Not that it hadn't been a good few moths,Harry thought, as he went through his morning routine. It was quite true; the months had even been eventful. Ginny had been given a new nickname that had been cruel and over the top. Of course, it had stuck.
Somehow, Malfoy had enchanted neon orange badges to flit around the school proclaiming 'Ginny Weasley equals Sparky plus School Broomstick equals Spoom. When a slightly scared out of his wits Hufflepuff third year asked Malfoy about 'Sparky', Malfoy was more than willing to oblige. He really did enjoy making fun of the red haired Weasels.
"Sparky is a dog's name, yes?" Malfoy did not wait for the affirmation that was doubtlessly coming before moving on. "And the littlest weasel is a bitch. A female dog is what, wee one? That's right, a bitch. I couldn't decide on Sparky or the School broomstick for Ms. Spoom, so I, in my genius, combined them. Now wee one, go forth and spread the word." The Hufflepuff fled to the safety of his house tower, ready to curl up in a small ball in the corner. Draco tended to have that kind of effect on people.
After a month, everyone was calling Ginny 'Spoom', and the badges only read 'Ginny Weasley equals Spoom'. And after such a wonderful attack on his stalker, Harry felt that he had to show his appreciation. And thus, after much conversation about the annoyance that is the younger Weasleys, Draco and Harry, in a sense, bonded. (A.N. Not in that way…Not in this fanfic at least.) Certain people were quite against the sudden, if not friendship, at least civil acquaintanceship, between the two.
"You mean to tell me that you aren't going to try and kill him this year? But he's Malfoy!" Ron was both confused and angry. The yearly attack on Malfoy had become a much-loved tradition.
"Uh, no shit Sherlock. He's also not a bad bloke."
"But he insulted Sp- I mean Ginny! And he's Slytherin!" At this, Neville, who had been listening to the conversation with amusement, became a bit annoyed.
"Ron, so is Blaise. Do you want to go out and threaten his health and well-being too?"
"Well, he's a Slytherin…I mean, no! Of course not…If he does anything to deserve it…" Both Harry and Neville looked mildly amused as Ron just dug further down in his already deep hole.
"Ron, if Blaise does something that would give cause to you threatening his health and well-being, I can handle it. My method is probably better, anyway." As the full meaning of what Neville said hit him, Ron fell to the floor with a thud.
"He faints easy, huh Harry?"
"Yes, but it's ever so amusing."
Neville may have come out before the break, but not long after they returned, Colin Creevy decided to stop 'living a lie' as he put it.
"I am in love with another man!" Colin was trying ever so hard to get people to care. And he was failing. Miserably.
"That's quite nice Colin. Now do you mind moving so I can get up the staircase?" Harry had to get an essay, and Colin was standing in his way. He didn't want to use force on his little stalker, but would, if pressed.
"But Harry, you don't understand! I'm in love with you! Oh!" All it took was a quick shove, and Colin was away from the stairs.
"Harry, wait! Dean and I have an announcement too!" Seamus was standing, somewhat awkwardly on the back of a sofa, the only keeping him up right was Dean holding on to his legs. In unison, both Seamus and Dean screamed "We're gay too!"
"Guys, it would take a deaf, dumb, and blind kid-" He was cut of with another in unison scream from the two.
"SURE PLAYS A MEAN PINBALL!" Harry just ascended the stairs to retrieve the essay for potions.
And speaking of potions, it had been odd for about a month prior. He just hadn't been his normal lip-curling, 'I am going to kill you now, and I am going to be all billowy while I am doing it' self. Which is not to say that he was not surly, or billowy, it was just that one got the impression that his heart just wasn't in it. It seemed like there were other things he wanted to be doing besides scaring small children. All in all, it was quite off putting. Or at least more so than normal.
"Oi! Earth to Harry! You in there Harry?" He was rudely jarred from his thoughts by Dean, who had, at some point begun to jump on his freshly made bed. "Harry, you were just standing there, stiff as a board, with your eyes unfocused. I had to do something.
"So you yell, jump on my bed, and throw things at me? Is that really the best- Hey! Was that Neville's toad?"
"Dean, be nice to the poor under-sexed boy. Not all of us can have a boy friend as wonderful and obliging as me."
"True…Seamus, did I ever thank you for the thing with the handcuffs?"
"You didn't have to. Two words- Riding crop." It had the potential to be a sweet moment between the two, if not for their reminiscing over what sounded like a BDSM dungeon's supply list. And Ron passed out again.
"Harry, I think Ron may have some sort of problem that he needs to get checked. Fainting this easy can't be normal."
"I have been telling him that for years, Neville. He never listened. I gave it up." The truth was that Harry didn't really care. It tended to amuse him when his friend passed out at the slightest thing. Kind of like an on/off switch, really.
After a few moments, Ron returned to the world of the conscious, the boys turned to their task for the day. The train would be arriving early the next day, and seeing as how they all planned on getting completely shit-faced as a year end celebration, it was decided that everyone would get everything packed up, so all that had to be done was wake up.
It was the final day, so Dumbledore in all his all his wisdom, chose to stop classes the day before. All of the ceremonies had taken place, and everything was officially over. The students had nothing but time on their hands.
Needless to say, soon the group was bored off of their respective asses, well excluding Dean, who was bored off of Seamus's ass. But that was a bit of another matter. Neville was trying, and failing to enchant Blaise's house badge to sing. So far he had gotten it to whistle I fought the law, but it was off tune, and off pitch. Hermione was reading some book that could have easily been mistook for a lethal weapon, and Harry was playing catch with a snitch he used to practice with.
Harry suddenly noticed Luna wandering over in their general direction, radish earrings bobbing as she walked.
"Spoom is coming near. Be careful Harry." With that, she wandered away, mumbling something about the snorfulplants being out.
Not a moment later, Harry found himself with a lap full of Ginny, her red hair causing him to sneeze.
"Hiya Harry. What are you doing?"
"Not much Spoom." She stood up, and glared down at him.
"Why did you have to call me that horrible name? WE WERE HAVING A MOMENT!"
"Ginny, not now, nor will we ever have a 'moment'. Those are things that two people that can even remotely stand each other have. I do not fulfill that requirement."
"But Harry, I'm all you have!"
"No you bloody well aren't!" Suddenly, Harry found all eyes on him, waiting to hear him reveal the name of his secret amour. As par for the course, he became flustered. "I mean…Lots of people like me. I have all of these blokes as friends, and um, I have the fan clubs. And apparently quite a few other people like me, because your brothers' store is selling out of the Harry potter line. So yeah, you are not it." Only Hermione seemed unsatisfied with the answer, but Harry wrote off her lingering inquisitiveness as natural Hermione.
Ginny ran off in a huff, something she seemed to have gotten quite good at as of late. Unfortunately, she was also growing more like her mother every day. It was kind of sad that what ever genes Bill, Charlie, the Twins, and occasionally Ron had that made them decent people skipped her.
"So what do we do now?"
"Well Harry, we could always have an orgy." It was so odd how Neville could be just as…unique as Dean and Seamus sometimes.
"Your suggestion has been duly noted. It shall be ignored, but it has been duly noted. Any other suggestions?"
"We could start our little celebration early and go to the room of requirement and get drunk."
"Wonderful idea Dean."
In not very much time, and three passings past the door, the band of Gryffindors and one Slytherin were well on their way to getting completely and utterly drunk.
"Hey Seamus?" It was obvious from his voice that he was at least four, if not five or six, sheets to the wind.
"Yes Ron?"
"What's it like?"
"What's what like Ron?"
"The gay-sex."
"I always knew you were in the closet Ron." And with that, Ron promptly passed out. Whether it was from the alcohol, or from his brain finally catching up to what conversation he had been having with Seamus, no one was quite sure.
A few hours later, they were all quite out of it.
"You know Dean; sometimes I think you have a drinking problem. When ever we drink, it was always you that suggested it."
"Harry, I can quit any times I want to. I just don't want to." Dean dissolved into giggles, and slowly, the other in the room fell asleep, planning to only get up after the room stopped spinning, because it probably wasn't supposed to do that.
"Sirius, I've got to go pick the kids up from Hogwarts. They apparently got drunk last night, and slept through when they were supposed to leave. There was talk of expulsion, but Dumbledore decided that since it was the last day, there wouldn't be any action taken." Remus had a way of speaking that made any topic sound as fascinating as the weather on a slow day.
"That's nice. Can I come? Please?"
"Sirius, I don't care if you are still supposed to be dead, you are wanted criminal. I also don't care if you are romantically involved with one of them. You aren't coming."
"I don't see what's fair about that! You get to see your lurve muffin! I don't get to see mine?"
"First of all, please stop saying lurve muffin. Secondly, what do you think Harry would do if you actually called him 'Lurve Muffin' to his face?"
"Yeah, yeah, go have fun without me again. I shall just be here, all by my lonesome, with no one to talk to, and nothing to do, wallowing in my despair."
"Have fun. Oh, don't set the house on fire again, yeah? I'll be back soon." And with that, Remus left Sirius alone, with nothing to do but cause general mischief and mayhem.
Well, that was the first chapter…I tried not to make this a carbon copy of the first chapter of Happy Christmas, but I have a feeling that I failed. Ah well, the rest of the story shall be different.
Also sorry it took so long for me to get this out; I had written myself into a corner. The corner is dark and scary.
Oh, I am offering my services as a beta. It lets me get out all of my OCD tendancies. If you're interested, just send me a pm.
Ah, now the obligatory threat… If you do not press the friendly little blue button, I will turn this story into Harry/Ron so fast it will make your head spin. Wouldn't it just be less nauseating to review?