AM I THE WORST PERSON EVER OR AM I THE WORST PERSON EVER. It's been like a year since I updated, I am so sorry.

Prompt: Colours (it is so vague... but really, it DID inspire this... it just kind of morphed while I was writing...)

As always, thanks to xLady-Helenax for being my beta!

Colours

Remus has made a habit of showing up at Grimmauld Place more often than any other member of the Order of the Phoenix. He really has no reason to be there; Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Snape are all at Hogwarts during the school year, and the eldest Weasleys could still be found at the Burrow.

Grimmauld Place is quiet, incredibly so compared to how it was over the summer holidays, full to the brim with teenage hormones. Now there is Sirius and Kreacher. And Remus.

When he steps from the fire, Sirius is already there. The room is still and calm and dark and Sirius isn't moving or doing anything at all. He's perched on the chesterfield, watching the fireplace; waiting for the friend he knows will appear. Even before the green flames have started to subside, Sirius is on his feet and ready.

Sirius smiles as Remus brushes ash off his tattered robes. Without a word, they embrace each other, arms and hands lingering a moment too long. Remus nearly trips over an ottoman as he steps back.

"Couldn't have turned a light on?" Remus says with a grin and he pulls his wand out of his inner breast pocket and then mutters, "Lumos."

Sirius is grinning devilishly under the glow of the magic light.

"Nope," he answers. "I do it purposely so you trip on things."

Sarcasm is good, Remus notes. He likes it when Sirius is sarcastic, because it means that his day hasn't been totally rubbish so far. It means he's in a decent mood, and maybe they'll spend the evening brood-free. Mostly when Remus appears in the House of Black, they chat or just keep each other company, sometimes over dinner. Other times they look at old photographs and reminisce. Occasionally they play a game of Exploding Snap, but it isn't nearly as fun with just the two of them and no James or Peter to increase the odds and add more excitement.

It's nothing like how it was when they were younger. Something feels different, like life has caught up to them and worn them out and they haven't nearly the amount of energy that they used to. It's as though years of their lives have been stolen. Sirius was so young when Peter framed him. All the years that he would have been making the effective transition from being fresh out of Hogwarts and the Order to being an adult and making a living had passed by while dementors fed off his soul in Azkaban. Remus, on the other hand, had had a lot of freedom compared to his imprisoned friend, but felt trapped all the same, with nothing left but a monthly curse.

Things feel different, because they are, yet every time Remus shows up to visit, it becomes more normal. They are not longer school friends sneaking around the castle at night; they are adult friends, and they just need time to adjust.

"Tea?" asks Sirius, gesturing to the doorway that leads to the hall. Remus nods and then follows Sirius out of the room and into the kitchen. Remus takes a seat at the table and allows Sirius to prepare the tea in silence.

"Has anyone else been by?" Remus prompts as Sirius sits down. He figures he knows the answer to the question before Sirius even thinks about it.

"No," Sirius predictably answers. "No reason to, I guess."

Remus nods and blows a little at the surface of his mug before taking a sip. "Mm," he acknowledges, "Peppermint."

"One of your favourites," Sirius replies with a grin and then takes a drink of his own. It burns his lips a bit and he shivers, but doesn't mind.

Remus sighs and resigns to the fact that things are just not the same between them, but he can't pinpoint how, exactly. "We're getting old," he says lightly, looking into the ripples in his tea, the effect of setting the mug back down on the table.

Sirius is watching the ripples too, distracted. Then he scratches his head and pushes fringe behind an ear, as though procrastinating his turn in the conversation. "Yeah," he finally acknowledges. He doesn't say anything else because he isn't sure which words to choose. His mind has come up with several statements and scenarios but he doesn't know which he wants, or which Remus wants.

"I feel like," Remus continues slowly, his eyebrows furrowed, "we never got a full friendship. I mean, it got cut short, when things were just starting." He smiles sadly, his face painted with bittersweet emotion. "James and Lily were parents, you were a godfather. We were settling down. Things were going well, considering it was during a war."

Sirius sees that Remus is right. Everything had ended rather abruptly. He tries to remember what his last words to James were, tries to remember where Remus had been while he was tracking down Peter, and he can't fully remember. But most of all, he's annoyed about being robbed of all his friends.

"You were an amazing friend, Moony," Sirius says, and out loud he thinks it sounds a little too sappy, but he doesn't retract the statement, but continues instead. "The Marauders wouldn't have been the same without you."

Remus is touched and he wants to say something equally wonderful to Sirius, but his body isn't listening to his head. It doesn't want to speak. It wants to get up and pull Sirius into its arms. At that moment, actions seemed to make more sense, but he can't allow himself to do it, so he tries to find words instead. He thinks about what Sirius said and then laughs bitterly. "I don't think the Marauders would have been the same without any of us. Look what happened when we let Peter slip away."

Sirius looks right into Remus' eyes, a concerned look suddenly prominent on his features. "I hope you don't blame yourself for losing him. He made his own decisions."

Remus shakes his head. "No, I know. We didn't exactly help, though." With Lily around so often, there would always be a fifth wheel. Sometimes they'd hang out with Gideon and Fabian and other members of the Order and it wasn't so bad, but just the five them felt a little like taking a friend along on a double date. Remus' chest tightened strangely at the thought of him and Sirius being on a double date with James and Lily.

"We're all that's left," Sirius is saying when Remus snaps back to reality, suddenly feeling too warm. There's an odd desperation in Sirius' voice. Like he's tired and worried. Remus wants to make the feeling go away.

So he stands up and gently lifts his cooling tea with him. "Come on," he says, nodding out of the kitchen. A minute later they're in the sitting room. Not the prim and proper front room where Remus came out of the fireplace, but the room where it's actually comfortable to sit down. Many nights had been spent sitting on the worn couch, as it was possibly the most inviting room in the whole house, save for the dining room when it was full of members of the Order. Half a dozen Weasleys could make any room inviting.

Sirius takes several gulps of his tea before placing it on the coffee table beside Remus'. Then he turns a little and pulls a leg up onto the couch, getting comfortable. Remus smiles at the action, as it reminds him of when they were younger and would all fit onto someone's bed and plan pranks. Remus likes to think that Sirius can find that level of comfort in Grimmauld Place too.

"Sirius," he says, "Padfoot." He doesn't know what else to say after that, he just felt like speaking his best friend's name out loud.

"It's so good to be called Padfoot again."

Remus tells himself to call Sirius by his nickname more often; always, if he can manage it. He envisions the huge black dog that was part of his pack in school, paws thundering nearly as loud as the wolf's as they chased each other in the night. Padfoot. My Padfoot.

It isn't until he sees the odd look on Sirius' face that he realizes he'd uttered his thoughts out loud. The sound of his mental voice echoes in his head, my Padfoot, my Padfoot, my Padfoot, and it matches his heartbeat as it speeds up in anxious anticipation for what Sirius will say or do.

There is a box sitting on the coffee table on top of an issue of the Quibbler that someone left around. Its half open, and red and green ribbons are losing their curl, falling limp towards the mahogany wood. A card is tied to one of the ribbons and Remus sees messy penmanship on it as Sirius pulls it towards them and reaches into the box.

"Christmas present from Harry," he explains simply, a small smile on his lips. "It was full of muggle joke items as well as some muggle sweets he picked out." He pulls a smaller purple box out of the larger box. "Some of these things are quite interesting actually; wizards can be so ignorant sometimes. The muggles know just as much as we do about prank items."

Remus has no idea where this is going but he decides to just wait and see, because this random reaction is better than what he expected might happen after his strange possessive comment.

"Enough about jokes, though," Sirius says and Remus raises an eyebrow. He didn't think Sirius could ever get enough jokes. "It's the chocolate that I want to show you."

He's opening the smaller purple box and then he reaches for Remus' hand. With a tip of the box, Remus' palm is full of small colourful balls that look like flattened, miniature marbles. "What are they?" he asks, confused.

"They're called Smarties," Sirius says, looking at the packaging. "No idea why though…"

He places the box on the table and sees that Remus is still holding them. "They're going to melt, Moony," he deadpans, and then barely contains a grin. He leans forward and pinches a couple of the candies out of Remus' palm and puts them into his mouth. Only then does Remus follow suit and try the weird muggle chocolate.

"Chocolate always makes me think of you," Sirius confessed as he watched Remus chew the candy. Sirius could have sworn he saw his friend's face flush at the comment. He battled the urge to lift a hand and touch Remus' scarred face. "My Moony."

If Remus hadn't flushed before, he certainly was now, and Sirius grinned happily at the effect those two words had made.

Remus isn't sure when his body moved, but a moment later he finds himself leaning over Sirius, one hand on the back of the couch and one on the arm. Sirius' back is to the arm of the couch and he looks up right into Remus' eyes, looking half confused and half amused. A moment passes as they watch each other, not totally sure of what's happening.

When Remus looks at Sirius, he can still see the intelligent, conniving, and brave teenage boy. A lot has happened but Sirius hasn't changed all that much, their situations are just very different.

As Sirius looks into Remus' eyes, he can tell that Remus is a little afraid, as hesitant and methodical as always, preferred to think things over before moving on, but there's a new kind of light in his eyes, like desire.

So Sirius makes it easier for Remus, and releases his grip on a cushion and grasps the back of Remus' head instead, pulling him gently downwards until their lips are brought together in a warm, slow kiss.

It's like getting into a cold pool of water. Remus wants to get in just a little and get used to it before moving further in. He doesn't know what to expect, so he takes it slow and Sirius seems to understand.

By the time they're shirtless, Remus' skin is tingling so much he's surprised he isn't visibly shaking. Sirius is doing things with his hands that Remus has never experienced, and he isn't sure how he got so far in life without the feel of them on his chest.

Sirius wants to trace every single one of Remus' scars with both his fingers and his tongue, but he isn't sure he'll have the time. The excitement and anticipation makes them impatient and it isn't long before their clothes are on the floor in an abandoned heap. Sirius decides that he will have a lot of time to pay attention to the scars later and lets them crash into each other, shuddering with the sensations.

Sirius smiles when Remus gasps, "Padfoot."

Eventually they make it to Sirius' bedroom and they don't stop.

"I missed you so much, Moony," Sirius whispers into Remus' hot skin, thinking of all the years they spent apart. Suddenly those years are the past, and the present is focused on Remus and nothing else. "Don't ever leave."

Remus kisses him. "Never."

Thanks for reading, my dears. I hope I'll update sooner next time...
-D0nQuixote