Chapter 68: Love Is A Losing Game

"See? Aren't you glad I dragged you out of the hotel?"

"I'd hardly call it dragging."

Rufus, not one to ever concede defeat, holds me a little closer. We're slowly making our way through the packed, festive streets of Wutai. The Yojimbo Festival is in full swing, and tonight is electric. There are crowds at every corner. A cacophony of music fills the air, along with the delicious smells of seasoned meats, vegetables, and sweets.

I slide my arm around his waist, brushing the silk black and silver garment draped over his body. I'm wearing a similar outfit. Mine is midnight blue with white gladiolus blossoms printed on the silk fabric.

A group of teenagers cut across our path, nearly running into us. Rufus mutters close to my ear as they twirl around us, screaming and laughing apologies. His breath is warm and pleasant against my skin. "I need to speak to you about something."

My interest is piqued. He sounds so serious, but he's like that about everything. "What's up? You've been kinda weird all day."

As we begin to move again, Rufus glances at me and then looks away. "It can wait."

"You realize you are always cryptic?"

"Not always."

"Pretty much always. I think you do it on purpose."

"Oh, what the hell is that?"

A huge pink moogle is dancing toward us, causing the crowded walkway to part to accommodate its massive body. Rufus pulls us to the side, squeezing us close to a food vendor's stall.

The moogle bounces past us, furry red ball jigging on top of its head as it skips by. A trail of five smaller moogles bop happily behind them.

Once we can safely move, I make him stop for food. We get meat, vegetable, and rice dumpling skewers along with some dessert. We manage to find a place to sit. We're side by side on a small bench, food in our laps. Contently, I watch the wonderful chaos around us.

I tear a piece of savory, juicy meat off a skewer and chew. "These are so good. Way better than the takeout stuff in Junon."

Rufus nods while licking sauce from his lips. Without warning, I kiss him. He freezes for a second, then returns the kiss as chastely as possible. He hates public displays of affection, but I can't help myself. He's just so damn cute.

When I part, Rufus' cheeks are red but he's smiling slightly. "You're determined to break all of my rules tonight."

"Sure am! I know you hate crowds and a lot of noise, but ugggh isn't this wonderful? I'm so glad we made it to this festival!"

Rufus nods, giving the scene around us a cursory glance. "It is a shame our vacation will end in a few days. We need more uninterrupted time together." The warmth of his free hand slides over my silk-covered thigh. He leans in until our shoulders are brushing and he speaks against my ear. "I…."

"Yeaaaah?" I turn toward him until our knees bump.

Rufus is so close to me I can see every tiny detail on his face; the little freckle near the corner of his left eye, the hints of silver in his blue eyes that give them that icy quality.

He lightly kisses me on the bridge of my nose. His lips are warm and soft. I close my eyes to savor the sensation as his lips linger.

"Hey, I thought you said no public displays of affection."

"Surrounded by these many people, we're practically invisible," Rufus replies. With his free hand, he lightly touches my cheek. His fingers are warm as they glide to my ear and toy with my huge chocobo earrings. He holds my gaze. The rest of the world fades away.

Rufus' gaze holds intent as if he has something serious to say. He opens his mouth and shuts it again, shaking his head. He glances at a stream of passerby in colorful garbs chanting and dancing through the street. "Not here."

"Are you OK? You really are being weird," I say, smiling.

A quirk of his brow. " Worried about me?"

"It's my job to worry about you."

"Is that the only reason?"

"Of course not. I worry about you also because you're hot and," I lean in close and whisper despite the fact that nobody can hear us over the chaos. "And you're really good with your tongue. And other things. A very specific thing."

There's pleasant pressure on my thigh. "Let's ditch all of this. Go back to the hotel where I can remind you of just how good I am. With my tongue. And other specific things."

A thrill of desire floods me, but I push it back. "We just got out here."

"You started it if I recall."

"And I'll finish it. Later."

"I'll hold you to that." Rufus gives me a bit of space. We finish our skewers and dessert. We linger on the bench for a bit, arms around one another, watching the beautiful chaos around us.

Finally, we get up and wander the festivities. It's so spread out and massive that there is no way we can see it all in one night.

We climb a steep set of stone stairs, passing dozens of other people on our way up. Once we reach the top of the hill, it is like we've stepped into another world.

The hilltop park is magical. A seemingly endless wooden bridge cuts through it over a glowing blue lake. We're surrounded by white trees that have an internal glow. Silver leaves litter the ground and float down around us. The chaos below us is now a distant symphony.

We have a great view of Wutai's foggy mountain ranges. In the distance is a massive statue of Yojimbo towering over the city. Later, he'll be set on fire as the centerpiece of the carnival.

Rufus takes my hand, warm and firm, and we walk leisurely through the scene with flower petals falling around us. We're not alone but the park is big enough that it doesn't matter. It is secluded compared to the city below.

I make us stop a few times to take pictures, including a selfie of me kissing his cheek to send to the group chat I have with Reno and Rude. Photo ops complete, I slot my hand back into his and we resume our stroll through the park. I bump my shoulder up against his, getting as close to him as humanly possible.

"So, what'd you wanna talk about?" I ask.

Rufus stops us under a massive tree. It has droopy branches that hang down low and create a curtain of blue flowers around us. He turns to face me. "Elena..."

"Yeah?" Tilting my head to the side, I smile at him.

He captures my mouth, drawing me close and burying me in his embrace. I may be the protector and the stronger one, but as the kiss deepens, I feel safe and comfortable in his arms.

Our bodies brush together in a rustle of silk robes and tender heat. When we finally part, he presses our foreheads together, cupping the back of my head.

Rufus smiles softly; there's a slight nervousness in his expression. "There's something I've been meaning to say to you for a while now."

"You're actually Rumi ShinRa, Rufus' long-lost twin?"

"Elena, please," Rufus says, chuckling. His touch glides down my shoulders and arms until he grasps my hands. It is nearly imperceptible, but his hands are shaking.

What is he about to do? Is he about to….?

"I'm aware that I'm not the most outwardly emotional man."

My lips tremble. "Understatement."

"But," Rufus says, tightening his grip on my hands. I'm not sure if it is more to steady me or himself. His eyes sparkle in the glow of sylleblossom trees. "I'm honored to deserve your affection." He smiles softly. He looks so vulnerable and open; it's a rare treat that only I get to see. "I'm honored you've remained by my side. You're the reason I'm a better man."

"Oh, Rufus…" Tears well up in my eyes. I blink them away as fast as I can. I want him to be crystal clear.

"Don't cry," Rufus says, a panicked note in his voice. Briefly, his lips are warm against mine in a calming kiss. "I won't be able to continue if you do."

I blink several times until my vision clears. "OK. I'm good."

He looks at me softly, so tender and open. It's so intense that I want to look away from the sheer power of his gaze. He clears his throat. "Over the time we've known each other, through the shaky start to where we are now, I realize that I knew nothing about how this works. I'm used to getting my way, in everything. Playing at life with my limitless money, unspeakable power, stunning good looks—"

"Okay, simmer down there, King Gaia."

Rufus chuckles. "The point is, I had to lose you to realize that the things that matter aren't a game. That this isn't a game, and even if it was, I can't win alone. I had to lose everything to see clearly. And losing you was the worst part. I thought romance was a game to win, but you blindsided me. I realize now that love is a losing game. I lost my selfishness and the walls I built around my heart. All that matters is making you happy, which is my aim…"

"Rufus?" Any second now, I expect him to pull a ring box out of his back pocket. My heart is thudding so fast in my chest. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

He lets out an airy laugh and rakes his fingers through his hair. "I fear I'm rambling…"

"You're cute when you ramble," I say, my words whisper-soft. Nervous energy radiates through me. I can't tell if my hands are the ones shaking at this point. I let out a shaky exhale.

Rufus tightens his grip and pulls me in close. His words are warm across my lips. "I have a confession to make."

"Okay? Make it fast because I'm about to pass out."

"I love you, Elena."

My brain short circuits and I stare.

Panic flicker's across his serene face. "You don't have to say it back."

I snap out of it. "No!"

"No?"

"I want to say it back!"

"Ah?" His smile returns and he tilts his head to the side.

I nod. "I love you, too."

There. It's out there. Something seems to shift in the air as those three words settle into my bones and on my heart.

"Splendid," Rufus says.

"No matter what the future brings, I'm gonna remain by your side as long as I can. I love you. Woo...it feels so good to say it. I was waiting on you to say it first."

Rufus chuckles. "Of course you were."

We stare at each other for a spell. I giggle and slide my hands up his back. "Do we have to go back to Junon next week? Let Tseng take over the company. He's smart and capable. And he's dating another Turk, so it isn't like there'd be a big difference."

"Dating who?"

"Tell me you noticed what's going on with Elyssia and Tseng."

"I don't care about their love life. Too focused on mine."

"I thought you were about to propose."

"Wha—Is that what you wanted?" Panic returns anew on Rufus' face. "We've only been back together for a relatively short time…"

"You're adorable when you're panicking. Don't worry. I'm joking!" I say, giggling. It's true. I don't know what I would've done if he'd proposed. "All of that stuff can wait. I am happy with how we are right now in this moment."

"As am I. You're an incredible woman. I think this is the start of something real and beautiful."

"I've turned you into a proper romantic. Mushy and all."

"Only for you. But speak of this to a soul and I'll…."

"You'll what? You love me. There's nothing you can do to me now."

"False. There's a few tricks up my sleeve."

"Like what? Batting your eyelashes?"

Without warning, Rufus pulls me off my feet. I let out a yelp that rings out across the park. I encircle my legs around his waist to keep my balance. I wrap my arms around his shoulders. My back hits the rough bark of tree trunk and he presses his weight into me. He looks at me softly, with such tenderness that it is almost hard to keep looking at him. I kiss him and the world melts away.

There's more coming our way, I know it.

The world may be still in a state of flux, but at least we can find stability in one other.

ooooo

Author's note

This story took several years to finish. Consider: I started this fic just months before graduating high school. I had to manage writing it all through 4 years of college and university. Then I started my young adult life and writing my first novel (a planned trilogy; still in progress).

With this story, I've learned a lot about storytelling. When I started Flux, I hadn't even played FFVII (of course, I've played it now). Over the years it has taken me to write, revise, and finish this fanfic, I've met, vacationed with, and chatted with amazing people. You know who you are. Thank you.

To the readers, thank you for reading this story and sharing your thoughts, playlists, and enthusiasm. I appreciate the community that formed around this fic.

In my spare time, I've been writing fics for FFXV, starring Gladiolus Amicitia & Ignis Scientia from that title. You can check out those fics on my A03 account posted in my bio. Flux is the last fic I'll write on this site. It'll be crossposted to A03 (with some minor updates to the earlier chapters).

Start Flux over from the beginning. Big changes were made a few years ago that improved the overall story, characterization, etc.

It's been real, y'all. Take care.

~ Violet's Veil, formerly Goodwitch08