A/N: There are probably only a couple of spoilers in here but it's blended into lots of made up facts I came up with. So probably, if you read this and want to know if any of the things in here are true. They're probably not.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and Co.
Innocent Illusions
The small, confined room was the only room that didn't smell of alcohol, smoke, or sweat from old men. There stood the nineteen-year-old girl.
Granted, you weren't supposed to work in a bar until you were twenty-one but the girl wasn't about to tell them anything and they weren't in a hurry to check her age since she attracted most of the customers. And she acquired most of the money in the joint.
She stood there, isolated from the rest of the group, with her rose petals in poised in a frustrated pout. Most men would have choked on their food if they saw this. Her lips were like petals after all. They were supple, soft, and oh so suckable. It was tinted a soft rose pink. It was rather unnerving when she found that men had stared at her lips instead of what came out of it.
The girl's hands ran themselves down her body, smoothing out the wrinkles in the skimpy waitress uniform.
Her body had often received jealous stares from the women that would often pass her during work. Her body was full but frail. It was small but it had all the right things to entice and allure the other sex.
The girl's dainty fingers moved up to run it through her midnight black hair. Sometimes, if caught in the right light, her hair would glow a tint of blue before disappearing. They ended somewhere a little below her shoulders and layered around her heart-shaped, blemish free face.
She moved the wispy bangs that were bugging her eyes to the side.
Her eyes shined brightly in the dim room.
It was what men where most attracted to her when they saw her. Her bright blue eyes shined with innocence and other emotions that she couldn't hide. The blue in her eyes shined with a brilliance that rivaled a diamond.
She stood there working out the other kinks out of her appearance when the door squeaked open, alerting her of her friend's appearance. Her friend's shimmering, short red hair added brightness to the room.
"Akane," The girl's angelic voice called.
Her friend turned and smirked when she saw what was taking the girl so long in the private room. "Hey, Sobame. You better hurry. Kana's getting restless."
"I will." She answered quickly before fixing a few more things in her appearance. There! Perfect!
She turned back to her friend and smiled. "How do I look?"
The redhead ran her eyes down her friend's body and gave another smirk. "Hot. As. Fuck."
The comment made a bubbly laugh come out of the girl.
The two friend walked out of the room and down the hallway towards the restaurant/bar that knew the girl as 'Sobame-chan'.
But you might know the person by a different name.
Her real name is...
... Uzumaki Naruto.
"Okay. So table four wants to order. Go!" Kana ordered. She was the manager of the bar and had the power to scare everyone into submission.
Naruto did a quick nod and marched off.
If anyone told him a few months ago that he'd be using his Sexy jutsu to work at some bar, he... probably would've tried to do that for the sake of a good laugh.
He never thought that it would be a permanent job for him. If he could blame anyone, he would blame Tsunade Baa-Chan and himself.
It was a moment of peace (so far) in the village. There was no prisoners or anybody that need escorting. There was no war or dangerous ninja on the loose. Half Akatsuki members were dead so they went into hiding to make up some more devious plans. But for right now, they were silent.
Sasuke killed Orochimaru and was no where to be found. That part pissed Naruto off to no end. The intelligence squad were looking around for clues but nothing could be found.
There were no missions for him. Top missions came rarely and when they did come, they were given to a squad before Naruto could volunteer. The minor missions were give to the Genin. Naruto was a Jounin.
His rank could've been higher if he hadn't lost his anger and go on a rampage in earlier missions. He remembered one time when he almost killed his teammate, Sakura.
After that happened, he was determined to control himself. It didn't work all the time but he could control his temper more easily.
Well, he had enough control not to go into another transformation (it happened only a few times these past years) but that didn't mean he wouldn't burst into the Hokage room and blast Tsunade Baa-Chan's head off if she gave a mission to anyone rather than himself.
Years pasted and all his friends were near their twenties. Naruto was nineteen. He grew up and learned some new techniques. At the same time, he perfected his other techniques.
Take the Sexy Jutsu for example. Before, he could only turn into a naked busty blonde with blue eyes that still had his fox markings.
Now, he could change into anyone and anything he wanted. He turned his hair into multiple colors and changed his body's into multiple body figures. He could change eye color and add little traits if he wanted (freckles, maybe a little black dot by his mouth) and remove his traits so no one would know it was him.
His transforming became so good, he could probably change into one of his friends and Kakashi's sharingan wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
Naruto could look at how someone would move and exchange only a few words before transforming into them. The only way someone would know that Naruto changed into someone was when the village became all quiet because Naruto wasn't there to liven it up.
I swear. Naruto thought. Everyone would be pretty bored without my help.
The reason that it was Tsunade's fault because she wouldn't give him missions. That meant that there was absolutely nothing to distract him from the anniversary of the day Sasuke left.
So Naruto happily got himself drunk at this very bar. That was why it was Naruto's fault that he worked at the bar, too.
He accidentally stumbled into somewhere where he couldn't be seen and transformed into the form he was now (he had dubbed the transformation the best he came up with yet).
No one noticed that he climbed onto stage but they did notice when he started dancing. Doing a sultry dance he guessed.
His mind made him think that he was in a dream filled with ramen. But some obnoxious bastard wouldn't give him the damn ramen unless he danced suggestively for it.
It was weird but it made sense in the dream. As all dreams do.
Well, when he finally was in his right mind, he grabbed the stage's curtain and ran. But on the way, the manager (Kana) stopped him and offered him a job.
The stage was littered with bills that ranged all the way from a dollar bill to a hundred bill. Apparently, he brought in twice as much money the club normally made in a month.
Naruto said no, obviously. But then, they offered to pay him three hundred dollars a day. Since there were no more missions, he didn't have any job to make any money.
And he was starting to miss eating at Ichikaru's Ramen Bar.
He had to take it. He'd been working for a few months but he quickly became the customers' favorite waitress.
First, he had approached the men timidly. Then, he tested different personalities to see which attracted men the most.
It turned out that they were attracted by confidence and innocence.
Being confident and innocent were easy. Naruto would always get flustered when men would flirt, tease, or openly admit that they wanted him. It was always an embarrassing moment.
He absolutely hated when men would grab him. He could almost dodge every hand that reached for him but occasionally, he would feel a caress on his ass and turn around to see a man smiling at him.
He would run away while the men laugh behind him at his 'innocent' behavior.
It sucked that he had to be a girl to get money but then again, he was training (practicing his jutsu, dodging perverted attacks which would help him dodge enemy attacks, maintaining perfect chakra level so his image doesn't slip, sneaking around in the place that was only meant for girls without being caught, so you could say he was sneaking around enemy base) and making money. So it worked out.
Naruto gave a polite smile at the table. There was a man and woman (no doubt that they were together). There was another man with them. They probably brought him with them to hook them up with the sexy waitress (a.k.a. Naruto himself).
Naruto couldn't count the numerous times that had happened.
"How can I help you?" He asked in his naturally bubbly tone towards the couple.
The man turned towards Naruto and ordered for him and his girlfriend. He quickly wrote down the order before turning towards the lonely friend.
"How about you, sir? What do you want?" He could see the man thinking of something smart to say when he heard Naruto's pseudo voice.
The man motioned for Naruto to get closer.
"I'd like some wine, steak, well done. And for dessert," He leaned up and whispered to Naruto. "I want you in my bed with whip cream and strawberries."
Naruto flushed and narrowed his eyes. "So that's wine and steak. Call me if you want anything else."
He walked away quickly and heard the couple trying to assure their friends that Naruto was just 'shy'.
He clipped the sheet onto the rail for the chef and turned toward Kana.
She always had an order ready to give out. Especially since she only had five waitresses to maintain the place.
No one knew why she wouldn't just hire more help.
Akane came up behind Naruto. "That guy's checking you out! He's a major cutie."
Naruto turned toward the direction she was pointing at and saw the pervert from before. He flashed his teeth at Naruto and gave a wave.
Akane, along with a girl named Miyu, were his closest friends at the bar. There were other two waitresses. They were nice to him when he talked to them but he could feel their hostile and jealous glares at him behind his back.
He found himself becoming guilty when the girls began undressing in front of him. But he would give no resistance when they started undressing, he would feel guilty about that later. Action first, think later.
"He's okay."
"You never like any of the guys I pick out for you. Do you even like guys?"
"Of course I do! They're... yummy-licious." He lied. The words left a bitter taste in Naruto's mouth but he didn't want to seem out of the ordinary.
"Fine. Let's go before Kana yells at us."
They walked over towards the middle of the counter where Kana was. She took care of the customers at the bar while the waitresses took care of the rest.
Kana sent Akane off before turning towards Naruto. "There's a man here tonight. He's alone but Miyu just told me that he looks awfully rich. Go serve him and work your magic. Good luck, Sobame-chan."
Naruto nodded and headed off. Midnight Illusions (the name of the place) served many different types of people. Some would just be goons off the street and others would high-class lords.
One of the waitresses would guard the door and greet guests but also, telling us how much money they looked like they owned and junk like that.
Often, the rich men, middle-class, and lower-class would be segregated. It wasn't like the rich men got some special treatment (that's only for the people who reserve something before they come) but the rich people, just sit by the rich people. They were just put in separate sections but all of them could clearly see the stage.
Midnight Illusions was a number of things. It was a restaurant and a bar all days of the week. It was also a gentlemen's club on weekends.
Naruto didn't work Saturday's and Sunday's but he did work on Friday's. That helped him out a little when men want a special performer or just his persona's body to get up there.
Customers were disappointed when Naruto refused to give them that kind of entertainment. Most nights, men would all root for Naruto to get on stage and give them a sexy little dance.
But they would never get what they want.
Before Naruto could answer the special guest, he gave the orders to the table from before.
The man and woman 'thank you'ed before turning away. Naruto placed the order in front of the perverted man and began to walk away when the man's hand reached for him.
He dodged out of the way before the man grabbed his butt. "Aww. You're tricky. Thanks for the food, Sweet Cheeks."
He grinned and eyed Naruto's butt as Naruto tried to walk away as fast as he could.
The next destination was to go to the cornered section for customers who want their privacy. The special guest's table was coming into view (it's the farthest place from the bar) when Miyu's platinum blonde hair jumped at him.
She grinned down at him. "This rich guy is pretty cute. Maybe you'll like this one."
Akane showed up out of nowhere and smirked.
"Come on. She likes no one." Akane twisted her head to look at the guest and came back up with a shocked face. "Wow! He's a looker. Maybe this one could be an exception. This guy is hot!"
They did a special giggle before running off. Naruto wondered if this was worth his job. Yes.
This was probably the highest paying job he could find.
Naruto turned towards the table the girls were looking at earlier and suddenly became breathless.
He could feel the girls heated stares as his jaw dropped at the sight before him.
Sasuke?!
A/N: Review. Please.