Oswald the Ottoman

Chapter Seven: C-c-c-c-c-changes!

It had been a long night, that night. Harry went knocking from door to door on each of the furniture, fabric, and seamstress' doors in Hogsmeade, hoping to find someone who could save Oswald who was fading fast and loosing small bits of cotton through his torn upholstery.

Finally, at 12…minutes after seven, Harry found a fabric store and a woman who would reupholster Oswald for a kind of reasonable sum of money. Harry didn't really have time to haggle.

This was a shame…he was sure, in retrospect, that he could've gotten the job done for at least 4 sickles less.

The woman tore the ruined fabric off of Oswald's frame, and followed that by the kinda see through stuff the was used on the bottom to keep the stuffing in—whatever that stuff was called.—it had gotten sliced as well. Harry was looking over the yards of fabric trying to decide, under duress, what Oswald would like to be reupholstered with.

There was velvet, suede, and various other impractical fabrics for furniture.

The woman pointed him over to the upholstery section.

There Harry was attacked by various horrid old-lady type patterns that—though it would be funny to see Oswald upholstered with them—Harry could probably not stand to see day in and day out.

Oh, how terrible this situation was!!!

Never before had Harry been faced with so many choices! How was he supposed to choose something without Dumbledore and, indeed, fate telling him what to do?!

And then Harry realized…this was normal, this was what normal people had to deal with! Normal people either had to reupholster furniture or buy new pieces! And if normal people could stare down these choices and actually pick something then Harry, transfigurer of the most evil dark lord ever, could too!

These thoughts reminded Harry of even more choices he had to make, and could indeed make without anyone's involvement! Why he could pick where he wanted to live, who he wanted to live with, who he could marry, what he could name his kids! This was the most amazing epiphany Harry had ever had, and it was all thanks to Voldemort!

Harry turned away from the boring upholstery and began to rummage for something cool and worthy of the greatest evil the world had ever known.

And after this he would find a cool apartment somewhere cool and live there—with Oswald, and maybe Neville—if Neville could get less smelly plants and stop snoring as much, because he didn't have to live with Ron and Hermione—he could live with whoever and whatever he wanted to, damnit!

Well, he would live with Oswald if the little guy could make it through the night…Harry rummaged faster.

Epilogue: 19 Days Later

Harry folded up the day's newspaper which touted that Voldemort had been sighted in an 18th century writing desk. Harry wished he had a small piece of furniture to share the wizarding world's randomness with.

Harry sighed and turned to glare at Hermione, and then he decided to pay that one second year to flick porridge at her again. That second year had really good aim.

Harry made eye contact with the second year and nodded firmly.

Porridge went flying.

With laser guided precision, god that second year was amazing. That kid was going to grow up and kill people, and Harry would hide under a couch because it wouldn't be his problem anymore.

Harry, feeling very pleased, with himself, decided to re-read his homework, when he was suddenly attacked by an owl.

Figuratively speaking.

Harry took the letter from the owl and read over it. He'd gotten the apartment he'd wanted, at an extremely low rate (of course he didn't ask for it! Why on Earth would he, Harry Potter, even think of using his fame for something like that!)

Feeling suddenly elated Harry decided he had to share this good news with his future and current roommate. He jumped up and quickly made his way back up to the Gryffindor dorms.

Once there he threw the door open, exclaiming, "Great news! We got the—are those Neville's plants?"

Oswald froze where he was. Sure enough those were Neville's plants, they'd only just put them back! But there they were surrounding Harry's trunk again.

Then Harry noticed something even more disturbing:

"Are you humping my trunk?!"

Oswald remained frozen in place.

Silence reigned in the dorm, as Harry realized that Oswald must have somehow been moving the plants every night…in some sort of weird trunk courtship ritual?!

This was crazy!

CRAZY!

Harry swallowed, turned away and said, "No, no, you're right, I shouldn't have even asked. I'll tell you about the flat later."

And then he shut the door.

...but really, Harry would tap that too.