Disclaimer: I'd LIKE to own. But that's a LOT different from actually owning it. So yeah, I don't own. Neither does Annie. And if she does... I'M TAKIN OUT THE TIN FOIL, ANNIE. (Which is basically a joke only she'll get, but okay.)

Naruto is bold, Sasuke is italics, obviously.

Psst. Sasuke.

What do you want, dobe?

Sorry to take your attention away from Sakura-chan, teme. But what's Gai-sensei on about?

First of all, you moron, I have NO IDEA what you're talking about, and Gai-sensei's talking about Coulomb's Law. Idiot. Pay attention.

You lie. I know you want her. You want her ba-a-ad. And who's Coulumb? I have better things to do than listen to The Spandex King. Unlike you, N312D.

I do NOT want that annoying female. You're obviously delusional. Have you been at the shrimp ramen again? Because you know what that stuff does to you. And THIS is the reason why I am passing and you are not.

Shrimp ramen pwns your scrawny ass. Last time was a fluke.

If you don't want her, can I have her?

Shut up, I don't have a scrawny ass. (Have a confession to make, dobe?) And no, you can't have her. You know she wouldn't date you, anyway. Besides, what about Hinata?

What about Hinata?

Sakura-chan is my one true love. She needs someone to appreciate her!

And don't give me nightmares, Sasuke. EW, your butt is nasty.

Honestly, dobe, are you BLIND? Hinata's been in love with you since DAY. ONE. And Sakura's got enough fanboys to appreciate her.

Also, I'm sure my fangirls will disagree with you on my butt.

Then why does she keep fainting around me? And I think someone's a bit jealous! I'm gonna tell her!

Your fangirls are scary. Also, they have no taste. Who would like YOU? Even poor Sakura-chan is so misguided. Good thing she has me to set her straight.

Because she LIKES YOU, IDIOT. She gets all flustered around you and therefore, she faints. Dumbass. And I. AM. NOT. JEALOUS.

That's something you and I agree on. But they HAVE good taste; they're just airheads. And, again, she is NOT going out with you.

I bet if I ask her she'll say yes. She can teach me about this Cool 'Em guy.

Really? Well, Hinata and I'll be talking soon. ; )

If they had any taste, they would go for someone worthy - like me!

What the HELL are you talking about?

Also, dobe, you DO realize that that'd kind of be like cheating on Sakura, right? And she wouldn't go out with you because Hinata's her friend, anyway.

Oh please, they made a WORTHY decision. Smart hot guy will always beat the dumbass.

I'm talking about the fact that Sakura-chan is pretty, smart, and nice, and she'll teach me because my best friend is too busy mooning over her to do it himself.

What can I say? I'm a pimp!

And I see no hot guy - just an emo nerd. YES, YOU HEARD ME. EEEEMMMMMOOOO.

I am NOT mooning over her, idiot. Have you been reading your mom's magazines again? Sakura is smart, that's about it.

Also, you're not a pimp. You wish, but it isn't happening, dobe.

And I'm not emo, ass-face.

Don't deny it. I know you dream about her at night. DON'T FIGHT IT, MAN.

I'm not you, dobe. And weren't you just saying that you want you and Sakura to get together? Then why are you trying to get me to admit my supposed feelings for her?

'Cause unlike you, I CARE about my friends. I want Sakura-chan to be happy. And I want you to quit swimming in De Nile.

Sakura seems perfectly happy, idiot. And The Nile is simply a river in Egypt.

And stop bugging me and start paying attention.

Admit you're warm for Sakura-chan's form and I will.

HELL NO. Who TALKS like that, anyway? "Warm for her form." Seriously?!

I talk like that, obviously. You are so stupid.

DO IT. Or I'll tell Sakura you sleep in footie jammies.

I DO NOT, MORON. I can't even FIT into those, anymore. Dumbass. And YOU'RE the stupid one. Didn't I tell you to stop bothering me?

ANYMORE? So you admit that you USED TO? HAHAHAHA!

And didn't I tell you I would if you admitted you LURVE Sakura-chan?

When I was younger, obviously. Shut up, I was five. And you used to also; I have pictures.

FINE THEN, YES, DOBE, I LOVE SAKURA WITH THE HOT, FIERY PASSION OF A THOUSAND BURNING SUNS, AND SHOULD I NOT PROVE THIS I'LL DO 100 LAPS AROUND THE GYM.

Happy now?

"Sasuke-kun? Naruto? What are you guys doing? Class is about over."

Sasuke froze, looking up to see the very topic of their notes staring at them curiously.

"Nothing, Sakura. Naruto was just being an idiot and not paying attention, as usual."

Sasuke shot Naruto a sideways glare, daring him to speak. Unfortunately, Naruto was the only one not afraid of Sasuke, and he only grinned, handing him a note under their table.

Hehehe. This is too good.

Naruto smirked at Sasuke, then looked at Sakura, azure eyes wide with feigned innocence. "Yeah, Sakura-chan, Sasuke was just explaining the laws of attraction." Here he snickered, and Sasuke kicked him under the table.

Shut up, dobe. DO NOT TELL HER, OR I WILL PUT YOUR HEAD IN A TOILET.

"But I don't know if he got it right. He's kind of an idiot," Naruto added in a stage-whisper. "So you tell me?"

He handed over the note, and Sasuke barely managed to stop himself from making a grab for it, instead choosing to start packing up his books, trying very hard to look like he didn't care. "Hn."

"Well, okay." Sakura said, with an odd look at Sasuke as she unfolded the note. "What don't you understand, Naruto?"

"What I don't get," Naruto began as Sakura scanned voer the words, eyes going wide. Beside him, Sasuke tensed. "Is how he hasn't slammed you against a desk and taken you right here by now."

"Naruto," Sasuke began, his tone laced with warning and potential-violence, and Sakura stared at Sasuke for a moment

"It's because he doesn't like me, Naruto." She smiled, but Naruto frowned, because underneath that smile and those bright eyes was a lingering sadness.

He scowled at Sasuke, as if to say, "See what you've done?" just as the bell rang. Sasuke got up and swung his bag over his shoulder. As Sakura turned to leave, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and, with a long-suffering sigh, said, "Sakura."

Sakura froze in the midst of picking up her own book bag, and turned to him. "Yeah?" She asked with forced nonchalance. Sasuke wasn't fooled; when she looked at him, it was with that usual sad green gaze.

"I'll give you a ride," he mumbled, not looking at her. Beside him, Naruto shifted, a wide grin on his face.

"What was that, Sasuke? Speak up, would you?" he said, loud enough for the rest of the class to turn to them.

Sasuke shot Naruto a sour look, then grabbed Sakura by the arm, and walked her out of the classroom, ignoring the grinning Naruto and the whispers from their class.

"I'll give you a ride home, okay?" Sasuke muttered.

Sakura tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, dropping her gaze to her feet and trying not to smile. "If it's not too much trouble...?"

"You're not," Sasuke said shortly.

This time, she did smile. "Really? You don't mind driving me home? I mean—" She was babbling. Oh God, why her? "—My house is kind of out of the way, and I know you have training with Kakashi-sensei—" Great, now she sounded like a stalker. "…Um, am I annoying you?" she asked with a wince.

Sasuke turned to unlock his black Mercedes – a gift for his seventeenth birthday. "Just get in the car, Sakura."