I'm baaaaaack!

Yes, I'm still alive! XDD

Or maybe it's just my ghost coming back to haunt this story…

50 Things I Am NOT Allowed Do At Ouran!

.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.
Number 17:
.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.

I will not attempt to go on FanFiction net during hosting hours ever again.

WARNING: Before you proceed, I must warn you that there will be implications of inappropriate contents within this chapter. Please read at your own risk!

So, there was this day, where the world came crashing upon the sun. Aristotle predicted that, did you know? Yeah. Yeah, he did. Go Google it. Google never lies.

So, Hikaru was just Googling the information given above on his pretty laptop, just to make sure that the evil authoress wasn't lying to him. Then. Suddenly.

"ZOMG!111!oneoneoneoneone!"

"Hikaru, please restrain from yelling so loudly," Kyouya's glasses flashed dangerously as he glared up from his mysterious file in which he is always writing… in which all his ultimate secrets are hidden… in which no one else shall ever look because it's Ootori Kyouya's and his alone. Oh, how Kyouya loved his file! He loved it so much he wanted to marry it… but the file never gave him a reply when he finally had the courage to propose to it. So, Ootori Kyouya is currently still waiting for his beloved file to give him a reply to his proposal. And, Ootori Kyouya is currently still sane. Believe me, he is.

"ZOMG! WTF! BBQ!"

"What's wrong, Hikaru?" Haruhi asked nonchalantly, still pouring tea as if the entire world was at peace; she was smart, she wasn't going to worry about Hikaru's sanity because she knew it was useless.

"ZOMG! ZOMBIE! ZOMB! COMB! TOMB! (No, they do not rhyme) TOM! TOMMY! Who the hell is that? MOMMY! MUMMY! CORPSE! COFFIN! COFFEE! TEA! ME! YAY! I love me!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

Yes, it was just another day at Ouran.

Kyouya twitched, how dare Hitachiin Hikaru defy his orders! He clutched his beloved file tightly, oh, his beloved file!

As Kyouya was distracted by his beloved file, Kaoru decided to verify his twin's sanity. He sincerely believed that the both of them were completely sane. How naïve our lovely Kaoru is!

"ZOMG!11!1111!oneoneoneone111!"

"Here comes a second one…" Hani murmured as he hugged his beloved bunny plushie. Oh, how he loved his bunny plushie! Does he wish to marry it? NO! Haninozuka Mitsukuni knew that that was futile. So he never proposed to his bunny plushie (unlike our dear Kyouya). It was also because he loved something else as well, so he has secretly decided that he will NOT marry his bunny plushie. One will probably expect that Hani would have liked to marry Mori. Aha! You wish. But no! That was, sadly, not the case. Notice that it was someTHING else that Hani loved… not someONE. Of course, despite Mori's, uh, unstable state, we will still graciously consider him a person, and not a thing.

Alright, here's the ugly truth: Haninozuka Mitsukuni was in love with his beloved duck.

"APPARENTLY BIN LADEN IS DEAD!" Kaoru exclaimed.

"WHAT!" everyone shrieked.

"YES! IT IS TRUE!" Hikaru declared, his eyes very emotional, "OH! HOW CAN THIS BE!"

"NO WAYYY!" everyone gasped.

Kaoru shook his head, "This is the truth!"

Hikaru gestured to the skies, "This, is, the TRUTH!"

"WHO THE HELL IS BIN LADEN?" everyone roared. RAWR!

"..."

"..."

Our Ouran is fairly educated. Fairly.

"How the hell can you not know who he is?" Kaoru shrieked.

"Dudes, where is your patriotism?" Hikaru demanded, "Imagine our founding fathers' reaction if they saw you..."

Haruhi put down her tray and began serving some guests, yes, there are still guests, and they must be very courageous to still be able to stay there. After she was done, she calmly turned around and faced the twins, "We're Japanese."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Dude, it's not like the authoress is American or something, and she knows who Bin Laden is!"

"Does she, really?" Haruhi questioned.

"...she does. She... does."

I do know who he is, trust me, I really do. I'm not that deprived of worldly affairs. And my IQ is not THAT low. Ahem. Of course, not saying that the Japanese are in any way deprived of worldly affairs either, but well, this is FICTION. And CRACK. Therefore, it is self-explanatory.

"Where the hell did you see that news?"

"FanFiction net," was the reply.

Kyouya (finished with his obsession over his beloved file,) adjusted his glasses, looking very, very wise, but we all know the truth behind that—ahem, ostensible, ahem—wisdom… "As far as I know, FanFiction net, like the name suggests, is a site for fans to write stories about their favorite fandoms, and not somewhere you can read the news, such as the death of Bin Laden."

Well, at least our Kyouya is well informed.

"Dude, WTF? That's so outdated. Today you can do ANYTHING with technology."

"ZOMG! And apparently my Lord is in love with Kyouya-senpai!" Hikaru gasped.

"Say WHAT?" Tamaki sprung up from his neglected-since-the-beginning-of-the-chapter-gloomy-and-evil-corner-of-woe.

"No wayyy… my Lord did THAT?" Kaoru gasped, scrolling down the webpage.

(Yes, here comes the 'inappropriate' content that you've all been waiting for. And I know you were anticipating it eagerly.)

Hikaru looked over Kaoru's shoulder at the laptop screen, "Kyouya-senpai is on the bottom? Really? I always thought he'd top..."

"What~? What are you talking about~?" Hani tried to poke his head over the twins' shoulders to see the screen.

Despite Hani's older age, due to his innocence and pure appearance, everyone instinctively assumed that this content was inappropriate for him. Pfft. As if it isn't inappropriate for them as well.

"I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS!" Tamaki roared. RAWR! How can he let these devilish twins pry into his private life with Kyouya? Well, his 'hypothetical' life with Kyouya, anyway. Yes, sad as it may be, 'tis true. But we will not go into depth in our exploration of Tamaki's inner thoughts… which are probably also hypothetical in this case, anyway.

"OMG! There's a story about you and me as well, Hikaru!" Kaoru gasped, completely ignoring Tamaki's out roar. RAWR!

"Hey~ what is it~?" Hani whined, still trying to pry through the twins to glimpse at the laptop, "Tell me what you're looking at~"

Now, Mori, you wouldn't want your dear Mitsukuni to be scarred for his life, do you? Yes! It's time for Morinozuka Takeshi's heroic appearance! Dun, dun, dundun! Mori to the rescue!

"Mitsukuni," Mori held up an empty cage, "Your duck has fled."

"WHAAAAAT?" Hani was crestfallen, "NOOO! We must find it NOW!"

And so, Hero Mori successfully led his revolution! Now, he has finally created a Republic! No, wait, that didn't make sense. Remind me about what I was talking about before I got carried away by historical events? Oh yeah, the duck. What about the duck again? …anyway, let's get back to the twins...

"Hika... ru..." Kaoru gaped at the screen, unable to believe his eyes. Well, we all know what he saw, don't we? Don't worry if you don't: you're actually better off than the rest of us, anyway.

For the sake of keeping the current rating of this fic, the paragraph describing the contents of the Hitachiins' laptop will be removed. If you really really REALLY want to know about the contents, it shall be shown in the epilogue of this fic. You'll have to wait a LONG time to finally read it. Hopefully, you'll forget about this by the time the epilogue comes up. If there's going to be an epilogue at all.

Hikaru couldn't believe it. His inner thoughts were displayed right before his eyes! And to the entire public! He couldn't imagine who would have known about this, and to describe it in such detail!

Okay, of course that wasn't true. Hikaru had no thoughts of the sort. (Or did he really not?) But well, now the Host Club or half of it at least, was forever scarred by this monster called FanFiction net. Oh, the horror! How will they ever face each other again? FanFiction had singe-handedly wreaked havoc in the Ouran Host Club this lovely day…

Hani was in hysterics about his missing duck, which Mori had sinfully let free to distract the (seemingly) innocent Hani from the devilish twins' laptop screen… Mori now is wholly regretful of the sin he had committed and is out to seek a priest to whom he could confess and seek forgiveness.

Hikaru and Kaoru are... well... pondering over their relationship... seriously. Let's hope... they get to some conclusion soon.

Meanwhile, Tamaki had returned to his forgotten corner of woe, forever to be ignored. No, that's not fair. But Suou Tamaki was going through some serious psychological, uh, workings right now. Something involving a certain Ootori Kyouya and something about tops and bottoms… and ahem, we shall not go into that…

And Ootori Kyouya? Ahh, he is currently heartbroken. Heartbroken by his lovely file which he wished to marry. His beloved file had obviously heard Hikaru and Kaoru's declaration of Tamaki and Kyouya's (forged) relationship through the evil FanFiction net. And abashed, the file decided to prolong, and probably suspend, its reply to Kyouya's proposal… so Ootori Kyouya was very bitter about this loss.

Now, let's get back to the only person still with some part of sanity in the Host Club, Fujioka Haruhi.

Our pure, innocent girl in the Host Club currently stole over to the twins' laptop, intending to read what they had read. Ah, she shall be shocked. Perhaps more than shocked.

Fujioka Haruhi shall never be the same from today onwards.

Muhaha~ it's about time that insanity had OFFICIALLY taken over TEH Host Club! XD