Yuki: Hahahahaha! We're taking over the Naruto world!!
Sam: Sounds like we're going to have lots of fun!
Yuki: -dances in circles- Weeeh, i can't wait to tell off those fuckers!
Sam: Yes, that will be pleasantly fulfillingly fun
Yuki: ok, to the story!!
Warning: Swearing, BL, weirdness...uh...yeah...and mentions of sex. That's why it's rated M.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto...they just love crushing our dreams don't they!
"Argh!!!"
Flip.
"GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!"
Twitch.
"-sniffles- ...why god...WHY?!"
Sigh. Flip.
"It's like a torture chamber!!!!!"
Blink...not going there...
"I can't even reach my strawberry pocky...-sniffles-"
Twitch. Tiwtch.
"Grrrrrrrrrrr. Must open box of sweet strawberry goodness. -Gnaws at pocky package with teeth-"
Twitch. Slam. Shuffle. Tear.
"Savior!!!! Wait...Sam?...WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING WITH MY POCKY?!?!?!?!"
Shuffle. Shuffle. Flush. Shuffle. Sit. Flip. Sigh.
"MY BABY!!!!!!!"
Twitch. SLAM. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!"
"..." Silently crying.
"That's better."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
".."
"WHAT?!"
"...I miss my baby..."
"ARGH!!!"
"Sam...Sam...wait...WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT KNIFE?!"
"SHUT UP AND SIT STILL!"
"NOOOOOO"
"-smacks- There."
"...-K.O.ed-"
Slice. Toss. Thwack.
Sam sighed as she sat back on her couch. That's right. Her couch. As in Sam and only Sam will go anywhere near the couch. That is unless of course you were the stupid knocked out idot on the floor on the other side of the room that was just 5 seconds ago whining about the loss of her poor pocky and the stupid torturing chinese finger handcuffs. That were, sadly, still stuck on her fingers. Of course the handcuffs were now on two seperate fingers with one piece on each finger thanks to Sam and her ingeniusness. Sam smirked as she picked up the current Laurell K. Hamilton novel she was reading. Why did Yuki always have to interrupt her and do something stupid when she got to the yummy sex parts. Yes, it's always at the good parts. Why couldn't she interrupt during something not as pleasant...like...Thinking monologue or something.
Scritch, scritch. Scritch, scritch. Groan. Scream. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY HANDCUFFS!!"
Sam swore she felt at least five veins pop. Why wouldn't that bitch just shut up! She sighed and slipped the sexy Sesshoumaru bookmark back in place, that Yuki drew of course, gazing at it for a few minutes while said girl cried on the other side of the living room about a stupid pair of replacable pieces of junk, then setting the book down and sighing. "Yuki?"
Said girl paused in her whining and looked up, "Yes?"
"Will you please stop your whining so that I can read my Anita Blake novel." It was more of a demand than a question.
Yuki gulped as she saw a murderous glint in her roomate's/best friend's eye. "Heh...heh...yeeeaaaah. I'm going to go to the bathroom now. Bye!" With that the green-haired girl ran to the bathroom to take a shit because she was so scared.
Sam snickered and went back to reading her book. Her wondrous book. Right where Anita gasped with pleasure while feeling the powerful thrusts of Jean Claude within her. Sam leaned closer to the book, her face at least 6 inches from the page as a malicious grin came across her face; many thoughts running through her head.
Yuki walked out of the bathroom, wiping her hands on a paper towel. She glanced at her friend for what, how many years now. Six. Yep, that sounded about right. Sh was suprised she wasn't dead yet. She just shook her head, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a slice of cheesecake with strawberry glaze and a strawbery decorating it, tossing the paper towel into the trash. Grabbing a plastic fork she went to stand infront of a calendar. Saturday the 19th. '14 days after my birhtday. Damn I feel special being born in the same month as Gaara and Haku. Happy Birthday Gaara!' She thought enthusiastically as she hummed a little tune in japanese as she stuck another piece of cheesecake in her mouth. Thank Gawd for her motabalism and her Uncle Johnny. Good O'l Uncle Johnny. She smiled as she stuck the strawberry in her mouth and threw the plastic fork and paper plate in the froggy trashcan. Yes; you read right. Froggy trashcan. It was the shape of a normal trashcan with a lilipad step to open the lid, aka it's mouth, to dump your trash in. In fact, if any other person, except for her and Sam's friends walked in they would be weirded out with alll the strange shit in their house.
Yuki opened the pantry door as Sam stepped in and took a seat, nose still buried in her book. "Yuki. Ramen. Oreintal. And make it snappy."
Yuki huffed and grabbed two packages of Oreintal and walked to the stove, grabbing the cordless phone and a big pot. She filled the pot with water, glancing over at Sam and set the pot on the stove, turning the heat on high. She grabbed the phone and started pounding it on the two ramen packages as she waited for the water to boil. Yep. Good old Americans. Oh well. We'll live. She grinned as she set the poor phone back on it's stand and opened the packages, being careful not to spill any crushed noodles, mind you, and opened the flavoring packets,pooring them in then the noodles.
3 minutes and a mess which Sam will have to clean, later
"Tea?"
"Right in front of you." Yuki said, sitting down infront of her own ramen and tea. "Maybe if you took your face out of the book then you would notice the world around you. Like the fact that your still in your boxers and a tank while I'm only in boxers and a bra."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Sam put down her book and started eating. "I heard that comet is coming by tonight. We watching it?"
"Of course!"
"Okay."
"..."
"...-munch-" Sam continued eating, finishing before Yuki then finishing reading her book while she sipped some tea. She sighed as she put her now-finished-book down and grinned.
"Sam?" Yuki asked as she took their dishes put them in the sink, throwing out the plastic utnesils.
"Hn?" Sam grunted, pulling out her bookmark and setting it on top of her book.
Yuki rolled her eyes. "I swear to L that you are Sasuke's long lost twin or something."
Yuki eeped as Sam gave her a glare that surpassed the Uchiha death glare. Then she started laughing. "Hahahahaha! You look like that chick from The Ring!!"
Sam smirked. "Dumbass." She grinned as she tossed Yuki her sketchpad and a mechanical pencil. "Now get to drawing!!"
"Noooooooo. I just finished my fucking art homework!" Yuki whined, banging her head down on the table. "It's too much to ask from lazy me!"
"Like I care."
Yuki yelped, catching the lit lighter before it hit her favorite blanket. Sam sighed, snatching the lighter from her and the candles.
"Give me those before you burn the fucking house down."
Yuki pouted and went about setting lit incense in places on the flat roof.(Y/N: Don't ask me how the roof doesn't cave in when it rains or snows. It might have mystical powers or something.)
"So when does the comet go by?"
"Less than 2 mintues."
"What?! Why didn't you tell me sooner!" Yuki screeched settling down and glancing around at the sky.
Sam rolled her eyes and silently counted down. 'Three...Two...One...'
"It's beautiful!!! Oh my gawsh, Sam, make a wish!! C'mon make one quick before it goes out of sight!"
"I wish for World Domination."
"C'mon Sam, Be serious!"
"Hn."
"Fine, be that way! I wish we lived in the Naruto world and had our own special kekkei genkai And we were placed on Team 7!!" Yuki whispered excitedly, right before the comet went out of sight. (Y/N: It was a slow fucking comet okay. It had to stop for gas at least 16 times.)
Yuki yawned amd stretched, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she walked past a passed out Sam who was sleeping on the couch, a book covering her face. She slunk into the kitchen, grabbing a cup of ramen(Y/N: Ya know, those styrofoam, microwaveble cups...ya know...yeah...heh...nvm...)and a fork. She peeled back the paper lid and gasped as a bright blue light imitated from the cup of ramen.
"SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-gasp, pant, gasp-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yuki screamed, grabbing the ramen and running into the living room as Sam sat up, book miraculously unharmed as it fell in her lap, looking around in a daze.
"Huh, wha...Yuki!!" Sam got up and was about to smack her friend upside the head before she saw a blue and orange, swirling portal emiting from within the cup o' ramen. "What the fuck is that?!...Yuki...what'd you do?"
Yuki set the ramen on the table and turned to look at Sam as the swirling mass lifted from withing the cup and appeared, floating above it, as big as a human. "I think it's a portal to some other world."
Sam smacked her upside the head. "No duh, dipshit!"
"I'm serious! Let's go!" Yuki grinned, grabbing Sam's wrist and forcefully dragging the protesting girl toward the portal.
"Wait a minute! We don't know where the fuck that goes! We could end up in some lactose intolerant world with waterfalls of soy milk or some shit like that!!!" Sam yelled as she was pulled closer to the seemingly grinning mass of orange and blue. "Dude! That thing looks like it's going to rape our ass!"
"No it won't! Here we go!" Yuki squealed with delight as she jumped feet forst into the portal, dragging Sam in after her head first. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!" Sam screamed, bracing herself.
Thump. Bang. Slam. Thud.
"Oooowie..." Yuki pouted as she turned to the side, rubbing her bruising tooshie. Sam rolled next to her, standing up and looking around.
"Where the fuck are we?"
"I don't know..." Yuki looked up at Sam and gasped. "Sam! You look like an anime character!"
Sam looked at her friend strangely. "What?...wait...so do you! Oh my Satan, do you think we landed in Feudal Japan with Inuyasha..." Sam trailed off looking around, a weird glint in her eye. Yuki stood up, brushing the dust of her lower body.
"I dunno. Mayb-"
"HALT! Who goes the- OW! Sakura-chaaaaaaaan! That huuurt!" A blonde haired boy whined, rubbing the growing bump on his head.
"Oh shut up Naruto!" Sakura, a pink haired teen said, clinging back onto the arm of a emo looking teen.
"Well, well, well. What have we here?" A silver-haired man asked, putting awawy and orange book.
"We found some people Kakashi-Sensei!" Naruto grinned. Both girls froze, turning their heads slowly, a weird glint in their eye.
"What'd you say your names were?" They asked in unison.
"Uh... I'm Uzumaki Naruto. The pink-haired girl is Sakura-chan and the angsty teen next to her is Uchiha Sasuke. And the lazy pervert over there is Kakashi-sensei."
"You dobe. We're not supposed to tell str-crack-" Sasuke was silenced as he was sent flying, Sam standing in his place cracking her knuckles.
"Fucking Asshole."
"NAAAAAARUUUUU-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!" Yuki screamed, glomping the shocked teen. "Oh my L! I love you sooo much. I'm like your biggest fan ever. I can't beleive I'm actually meting you in person. Blah blah blah blah bla..." The green-haired teen trailed on and on, clinging to Naruto's arm as Sasuke grumbled, appearing next to Sam rubbing his jaw. Kakashi watched on in amusement as Naruto blusehd, Sasuke grumbled about being hit by a girl , and SAukra just standing there, plain gapping.
"So...Who are you two?" He asked.
Both girls turned to look at him and one glared while the other smiled.
The raven teen spoke up. "Sam. Thats all you need to know."
Yuki rolled her eyes, letting go of Naruto and coming to stand infront of Kakashi. "I'm Yuki. The badass and quiet one is Sam. Sorry if she was a little rude but that's just her way of taking things. She doesn't like you that much."
Kakashi blinked. Well if that wasn't blunt. "How about we go somewhere more private and talk about how you two know us."
Yuki grinned, speaking before Sam could say anything. "Sure!" Ignoring the burning glare that was directed toward her.
Everyone sat in a circle at Team 7's private training gorunds and stared at each other. They sat in order. Kakashi, Naruto, Yuki, Sam, Sasuke, Sakura.
"Okay, first off. How do you know us?" Kakashi asked.
"You're one of our fave anime's." Yuki grinned.
"Anime?" Sakura asked, looking at the grining girl. Sam had chosen to not answer any questions and stay quiet and brooding and not cause any damage(yet), glaring daggers at the Uchiha and Haruno, sitting next to and across from her.
"Don't ask. She'll -points to Yuki- will go on forever and I won't be able to get her to Shut. The. Hell. Up." Sam said. Sakura silently leaned towards Sasuke as she felt the evil glare on her. It was ten times worse than Sasuke's!
Kakashi sighed and looked back at Yuki. "So, what do you know about us."
Yuki grinned maliciously. "Many things that none of you have shared with each other or anyone else for that matter."
The team looked at her questionly.
"What things?" Sasuke asked, curious as to what this girl knew about them.
Yuki grinned wider. "Like the fact that you, Sasuke, are deathly afraid of letting anyone in and you trust no one as to see your hell bent on revnege to kill Itachi because he killed your clan and made you witness it over and over with the mangekyou Sharigan and that you cry yourself to sleep most nights and you have reaccuring nightmares sying it's your fault for not being there to save your parents even though deep down you know you wouldn't have been able to do anything."
Sasuke gapped at the girl, grinning across fomr her. "Consider this payback for being an insufferable asshole and the fact that I hate you beyond belief you spoiled rotten brat."
Sam smirked as she watched Sasuke's face and inner turmoil. Yuki at least learned something from her. Sakura gasped as did Naruto as the took that all in.
Yuki turned to Sakura. "Now it's your turn."
Everyone looked at her, already over Sasuke's little secrets(they weren't that bad).
"You have an inner Sakura. A.K.A. Black Sakura and you haid behind a mask you think Sasuke can't look through to see the real you. You have a little schoolgirl crush on his sorry little gay ass and actually want recognition. The feeling you call love for Sasuke is actually lust." Yuki smiled as the team took that in.
Sasuke glared at the grinning girl. "Just, who are you?"
"Ah, ah, ah, Sasuke! We're not done yet. It's Kakashi turn now." Yuki smirked turning to look at the perverted sensei.
"You, my Icha-Icha loving friend, always make up an excuse as to why you're late. When really, you are standing in front of that stupid black stone thing that has Uchiha Obito's name on it. You go over and over in your head all the things you could have done to save your friend. To save your team becasue Rin left Anbu and went rogue or so they say. You can't get over the past and you see the Team 7 as your old team. Same problems with teamwork and realtionships. Same everyhting."
"How..." Kakashi whispered, looking at the smiling girl that was facing her.
"Smiple, I love Naruto and I love this anime. And of course I know everyone's dirty little secrets. And I also know what's going to happen in the future if certain events play out. I take it That the team is goingto go into the chuunin exams soon right?"
Kakshi nodded his head. Naruto frowned and shoved his sensei out of the way. "What about me?!"
Yuki grinned and glomped Naruto, cooing. "Awww, Naru-chan. I love you too much to tell your own team a secret that you want no one to know! Well, actually all the senseis know, so Kakahshi knows too. But I can tell you that you are the Yondaime's son."
"WHAT?! Are you serious!!!" Naruto yelled, staring at Yuki with wide eyes.
Yuki grinned. "Ye-HEY! Sam,What is that for?!" Yuki growled at her friend, shaking a fist in the air.
Sam smirked and hugged Naruto close to her. "I want a turn with Naru-chan too!"
Yuki pouted. "But that's not fair! I don't like any of those peple over there!" Yuki pointed to the dead panned group behind her. "But...I have always wanted to do this." She turned to face Sasuke and walked up to him. "I loathe you with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. And I love Uchiha Itachi and I know his location."
Sasuke gapped at her again. "WHAT?!"
TBC...
Yuki: Okay this is stupid. Read and review please!