Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto

Random cracklet with an OC. Kill her if you'd like. xD

"So..." Yumi began, rapping her fingers on the wooden table. "Why do you guys WANT the Bijuu anyway?"

Across from her, two of the most wanted criminals in the universe stood, glowering at her. Hoshigake Kisame scowled in response, subconsciously fingering the hilt of the Samehada with his right hand.

"This is a kidnapping. WE, as the captors, ask the questions. Not YOU, who is the captive. Understand?" The damn girl smiled cheekily as she reached up to adjust the Konoha hitai-ate on her forehead.

"Well, answer my question then we'll get to yours! Haven't y'all heard of that proverb that says 'Ladies first'?" She retorted, crossing her arms over her green flak jacket.

"..." Itachi said, because that expresses all he needed to say.

"..." Kisame echoed, just because he couldn't speak and think at the same time.

"Why do you guys WANT the Bijuu anyway?" she repeated, seriously this time.

"..." They had been at it for two days now. They were assured that the new twenty-something ANBU captain would be compliant. Unfortunately, Pein's informant was wrong. Nothing related to the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki had been discussed in the 48 hours they had been locked in together, and the girl showed an incredibly high tolerance to genjutsu.

Kisame sighed. Damn this to hell. "Because we want power, alright?"

"Why?" she asked, genuinely perplexed. "You guys are hella strong already!"

"We want to rule the world," Itachi broke in, his voice a bland monotone. He sat with his chair on two legs, his hands cupping the back of his head. Of the pair, Itachi seemed the least affected by the kunoichi's idiocy.

"Why!?" Again.

"Because we want to be the best," Kisame replied wearily, rubbing the bridge of his nose. This isn't worth it...

"Why?"

"Because it's fun!" the former Mist-nin blurted, slamming his hands on the table as he stood. "It's FUN. Okay? FUN! Being the best is F-U-fucking-N, FUUUUUUUUN!"

"Well, Itachi is the best Sharingan user ever. He must be a whole BUCKET of fun," Yumi said with a contemplative look. It was exactly that utter seriousness that made that whole sentence so funny.

"...I see your point." He tried to hold it in. I mean, he REALLY tried to hold it in. Unfortunately, trying does not mean 'succeeding.' Kisame burst out laughing, knowing how untrue the girl's statement was.

"..."

-0000000000000000000-

"Snorf..." Kisame and I walked along the dusty road, the bells on our hats jingling in a dreary way, the way I liked them to. We were-- "Kakk...kehhe..."

I ignored my partner's strange utterances and continued to head to my former home village. We had just disposed of the white trash that had somehow wormed her way onto the Leaf Black Ops Unit. Now we've--

"Hnn, PAH..."

I walked as little quicker, distancing myself from the two-legged shark choking on his own saliva. It had been this way since--

"..." What's this?

"..." Ah, wonderful silence. So sweet and appreciated. Yes--

"Y'know Itachi, you're a whole bucket of fun."

-000000000000000000-

"Now, explain to me again why you need a new partner?" Pein asked, eyebrow raised behind the dark veil that separated the God from the commoners.

"He interrupted my internal monologue." Itachi paused for a moment, then added, "Also, he kept emphasizing things."

Not funny, I think. It was funnier when I dreamed it last night.