Hey, guys. It's me. Anomynous Nin. What's up? Look... I'm sorry that I didn't updated this story and the others for a long time. I suddenly lost interest on writing them. But now, I realized writing fanfics are my favorite thing to do. So... I'm back! Don't lose hope yet! This time, Anomynous Nin is back in the action! So anyway, now, this is chapter 8 of the story "A Vanishing Happiness". And this chapter will contain many humorous attempts with Drunken Lee... I hope... Well, on with the story! Enjoy!
"Speaking"
"Thought'
Flashback
"Inner/Demon Speaking"
'Inner/Demon Thought'
Jutsu Name
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto... Not ever... again...
Chapter 9:
Drunken Lee!
Surprise, surprise, everyone! Look up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it Superman? No! It's...
DRUNKEN LEE!!
Drunken Lee comes to the fight. He is powerful than ever before. However, there are something unlucky that Drunken Lee has. What is it? Let's find out.
"Hah! Do you really think that YOU GUYS can defeat the awesome Rock Lee?! You really are a bunch of idiots...! I bet you guys can't EVEN beat up your OWN grandma...! Idiots!" said Lee, as he drunkly moves in place.
That comments made some of the missing nins, three of them, pissed off. "Grr... How dare you think that we're weak! We're the best of the best!" growled one of them.
"Just because half of our guys are defeated doesn't mean that we're weak! We can even beat you guys up in one swoop!" said the other one.
The last one sniffed. "GRANDMA!!"
The others look at him with a mixed confusion and disgust.
"... What?"
"... Oh forget it. Let's just get this guy!" The first one runs up to Lee, with kunai in hand. "I'll make sure that this will be your last drunken moment!!"
However for him, once he reaches Lee, Lee quickly punched him on the gut, causing the missing nin to cough up of pain. Lee then moved on to punching his face several of times, before finishing off with an uppercut. The missing nin then falls to the ground a few metters away from him. "Come on! THIS is a battlefield! You should be FIGHTING, you son of bitch!" yelled Lee.
"... Oh my god... Impossible..." said one of the remaining two in shock.
"... I really want to take a dump because of that..." said the other one.
"WHO'S NEXT?!" yealled out Lee.
The retrieval team all grouped up with Kira, Sakura and Kakashi, as they stared at Lee with shock.
"... This is what happens when Lee gets drunk?" asked Kira.
"I'm afraid so." said Kakashi.
"But what's the problem with that? Lee is drunk and he's kicking so much ass right now! We should all be grateful that he help us get rid of those guys!" said the grateful Ino.
"... You will see what happens after that battle."
Back to Lee and the missing nins, the two mising nin continue to stare at him in shock.
"Um... well... Uh... Why don't you go and get him?" asked one of them as he goes behind the other one and slightly pushes him.
"What?! No way! You're the one who got in this mess!" said the other one, as he's the one to go behind him and pushes him towards Lee.
"Fine, fine! If you insist." The missing nin walks up to Lee, standing before him two inches away. "... Hello there. My name is Steve... Viper... Steve Viper. Now, i know that you're drunk and you are unable to control yourself, but I'm actually a good guy. You see, I was paid to do it and I was forced to do it. You know, I have a family... Well, once had. My wife couldn't stand me because I was being a bad guy. If I had a chance, I would be able to get out of here without a problem. Now, to gain your forgiveness, I want you to have this." He dug in his pocket and pulled out a ball of candy, being wrapped around by a plastice cloth. "So anyway, no hard feelings. Alright?" He hands the candy to Lee.
The drunken Lee grabs the candy out of curiosity and looks at it for a moment. "... I DON'T NEED THIS SHIT!!" He shoves the candy right in the guy's mouth, as he choked with the candy in his throat. "You want to see some magic?!" He punched the guy on the throat, causing him to cough up the candy. Lee catched it without a problem. "THERE! SEE?! It's magic! Isn't this MAGICAL?!"
"Aug...! You punched me... on the throooooooooaaaaaat...!" The guy then collapsed in pain.
"... That's really grossed." said Kira.
"Yep... It is..." said Sakura.
"Disturbing..." said Hinata.
"Hmph..." Sasuke can only look away that kind of thing.
The remaining missing nin looks at the other one's painful body now. "Uh..."
"I WANT MORE!!" screamed Lee.
The guy sighed. "The hell with it..." He walked up to Lee without any weapons or hidden ones in hand or outfit. "... Kick me in the crotch." Lee does what the guy said, kicked him on the crotch. "Ooh...! That's better...! Agh...!" He collapsed in pain with the other guy.
The leader of the gang can only look at the two of them with disgust. "... You bunch of wimps!" He's the only guy in the gang left.
"Are you the LAST one, chubby?! Then bring it ON!!" yelled out Lee.
"Heh! You think that i'm like those wimps?! Then think again!" The leader draws out a kunai from his pouch. "Come at me!"
"Oh YEAH! Here I GO!!" Lee charged at the leader dizzily, as he runs up to him in small zigzags.
As he's about just a few inches, the leader slashed at him horizentally. "Take that!" However, Lee ducked. And his head is just between the leader's legs. As he tries to stand up, his head hits the leader's crotch, as he groaned in pain. "Oh...! You son of a...!" He backs away a little from Lee, as Lee stands up, getting on his drunken stance once more.
"HA! How does that feel, little girl?!"
"Little... GIRL?!" In rage, the leader charges at Lee again, making an upper horizental slash again. Lee ducked again. The leader then slashes him lower. Lee jumped, however, and he kicked the leader's head. Furiously, the leader attempts to thrust his kunai at him. But Lee sidestepped, avoding the thrust. He goes up behind him and elbows his back, making him arche of pain. Lee then grabs his arms and throws him in the front. The leader landed on his feet however. "Oh you son of a... If you weren't drunk in the first place, we would have taken you out so easily!"
"Too BAD that I beat you guys up one by one!"
"Oh shut up!" The leader charges up to Lee once more. But when he reaches to him, Lee headbutts him on the head, causing him to get his head back. Lee then finishes it up with a couple of punches to the gut and a kick to send him flying. The leader lands on four. "Grr... Damn it! You piece of...?!" Just then, he did not see Lee anywhere in front of his eyes. "Where the hell is that drunken kid?!"
"RIGHT HERE!!" He hears Lee somewhere. His voice can be hear above him. When he looked up, he sees Lee's feet towards him.
"Oh you son of a-" he said before Lee's feet crashed on him, making him collapse on the ground, groaning in pain.
"HAH!! The invincible Rock Lee wins once more!!" cried out Lee.
The retrieval team stared at Lee with amaze, shock and sometimes... disgust.
"I can't believe that Lee beat up that guy as a drunk..." said Kira.
"So... Is Lee-san really that strong?" asked Sakura.
"Wow... I wonder if I get drunk and do something like Lee did?" wondered Ino.
"I don't think you should try that, Ino-san..." said Hinata.
"Hmph..." Is all Sasuke can say, seeing that he's jealous right now.
"... This is what happens to those who underestimated him." said Kakashi, sighing of relief.
Kira decided to walk up to Lee, congratulating him for defeating the missing nins for them. "Hey, Lee! Thanks for defeating those guys. Who knew that you would be strong as a drunk like that? It's time to go now. We have to find that Naruto gu-" Kira couldn't finish his sentence when he feels a sudden pain on his crotch. He looks down and sees Lee's leg between his legs.
Lee drunkly kicked Kira on the crotch.
"Ah...! Ah...! Oh my...!" Kira gapped, as he slightly steps back, holding his crotch. Then, Lee suddenly uppercuts him on his chin, sending him flying. The others all gasped in shok, seeing that Lee attacked Kira. Kira then falls on the ground flat.
"Hah! Do not try and distract me, you bad man! I will defeat you in MANY ways!" yelled Lee.
"What the hell?! Lee, don't you remember me?! It's Kira!" he said as he got his face up to face Lee.
Seeing what happened, Sakura then worrily asked Kakashi. "Kakashi-sensei! What happened to Lee-san?! Why is he attacking Kira-san?!"
"... This is what happens if you got too careless. When Lee is drunk, everyone, even his allies, are his enemies." explained Kakashi.
"Even... Us?!"
"Yes. This is why Lee is dangerous. He is attacking everyone around him, not knowing who they are. Gai makes sure that Lee can go nowhere near a Sake again."
"How long is he going to be drunk, Kakashi-sensei?"
"I don't know... Depends..."
Back to Lee and Kira, Kira managed to stand up with efforts. "Lee, what the hell is gone into you?! Don't you remember me?"
"Of course I remember you! You're one of those jackasses who tried to kill me lately! I'll show you how strong I am now!"
"Lee, we're your allies! How can you think that we're-" Kira couldn't finish it because Lee suddenly appeared close to him and punched him thrice before sending out a kick, sending Kira flying. He then falls on the ground again.
"Do not come closer of the AWESOME Rock Lee!! I will pummel you to the next land!"
Kira stood up again. "Um... Time out!" He runs back to the retrieval team. "Ok... Can anyone explain to me why Lee is attacking me?"
"Kira-san, Lee is attacking you because he thinks that you're an enemy." answers Sakura.
"He does? Well, is there anything to stop him?"
"I don't think so, Kira. We can only wait until Lee goes back to normal." said Kakashi.
"Well, there has to be something to get him back to normal so easily! If we wait, we'll waste time on searching for Naruto!"
That's where Sakura got her confidence. "Kira-san is right! We have to do something to Lee before we waste anymore time on looking for Naruto! We have to form a plan!"
"Hm... I guess it's fair. I already got an idea in mind." said Kakashi.
"W-what is it, Kakashi-sensei?" asked Hinata.
"Sasuke, you go behind Lee a few feet away. Kira, you do the same, only in front of Lee."
"Why us?!" asked Kira.
"Because you're guys."
"You're a guy too!"
"I'm a man."
"Damn you!!" Kira shook his fist at Kakashi.
"Just get on with it, you two."
"... Fine." said Sasuke, as he goes behind Lee.
"Mark my words, Kakashi-sensei. The next time you wake up, you will be underwater, in a tube." said Kira as he goes in the opposite of where Sasuke goes.
Asthe two of them made to their post, Kira shouts out to Lee. "Hey, Lee! You're drunken days are over!"
"Huh?! Why's that, you little brat?!" shouted back Lee.
"Because you are trapped!"
"All that is free is left, right and behind!"
"Oh shut up and be knocked out!" Kira charges up to Lee.
"Hmph!" Sasuke does the same thing. With the two of them between Lee, he can't avoid the combination of the two strong genins. The two of them then make a flying kick at Lee. However... everything doesn't go as plan.
"Big deal!" Lee jumped from the two of them. And they ended up kicking each other's crotchs.
"Ooh...!" groaned Kira.
"Kuh...!" groaned Sasuke. Then, they both fell on the ground, holding their crotch. "God... damn it...!"
"This is... the worst battle... that I ever... had...!"
Lee lands right besides them a couple of feet away. "HAH! No one will be able to outsmart the GREAT Rock Lee!"
"... New plan... Please...!" pleaded Kira.
Kakashi sweatdropped. "... Uh... Who knew that Lee knows what's going on as a drunk?"
Sakura sighs. "Sasuke, Kira, come back here, please?"
They both stood up with efforts and got back to the team. "What is the... plan...?" asked Kira, who is still hurt on the crotch.
"Ok. Huddle up, everyone." Sakura said. They all go closer to each other and Sakura whispers the plan.
A while later, Lee moves drunkly in place all of his time since Sakura told the others the plan. As he continues to drunkly move in place, he hears someone with a rather sexy voice. "Oh Lee-kun!"
He turns to where he hears someone and unexpectly, his jaws fell to the ground, as he sees something pretty sexy to him.
He sees Sakura, with a sexy nurse outfit on her. Her face wears a pretty seducing expression, with her tongue sticking out. Her body takes a seducing stance, as her finger touching cheek and her other arm behind her, with the hand holding a small board. "How's my favorite, green suit ninja doing? I hope you had a good time yourself." she said seducingly.
Lee can only pant like a dog, with tongue sticking out of his mouth, drools coming out of it and his eyes in a heart-shaped form. "Hoooooooot!"
"Um... Lee? I have a problem with my nurse outfit. Do you think you should... Oh I don't know... Undo them?" she said with a super, innocent face that no one can resist.
Since that he's drunk and that it is Sakura, the girl in his destiny, Lee couldn't concentrate on anything but her right now. Since that is not a problem, both Hinata and Kira are right behind him, a few feet away, with a giant, man-size butterfly net. They are both holding it up with both of their hands.
"I can't believe Sakura did that to Lee. Why couldn't she do that to me?" asked Kira, disappointly.
"Kira-san, t-this is her plan. The p-plan was that she distracts Lee-san in a m-maid outfit so that we can catch him w-with this butterfly net." explained Hinata.
"... I think I got that net from my backpack."
"Quickly! We have to catch Lee before he notice!"
"Right!" And so, the two young ninjas run up to Lee with the net. As they're in the lenght of the net, they slam the net at him. However, the plan does not go as planned. Lee zips away from Sakura and the two catchers and they end up catching Sakura in the net instead. "What the?!"
"Eek! Watch where you guys aiming that thing!" yelled Sakura.
"W-where is Lee-san?!" asked Hinata.
"He must known that we're behind him to catch him! For a drunk, he can tell things so quickly." said Kira. Then, he feels pain down on his crotch again, as he lets go of the net and holds his crotch, before falling down on the ground. And Lee was just behind him, who is the one delivering a kick on the crotch again.
"Hah! You cannot fool me with that trick, you little asses! I am Rock Lee! I will never fall by that trick!" yelled Lee, before he zips away again.
"Ooh... Damn... bastard... of hell..." groaned Kira in pain.
As he lays down in pain, Sakura and Hinata eyed each other.
"... New plan?" asked Sakura.
"... New plan." answered Hinata.
A while later, Lee continues to zip down around the area, unable to stop himself from running. Then, he soon stop suddenly when someone called out to him. "Hey, Lee!" He turns toward to where he heard someone and sees Sasuke. "How is your running around the area?"
"AH!! Sasuke! My rival! It has been a LONG time since I fought you! I cannot WAIT to face you again!"
"That's what I was thinking, Lee. Let's have a rematch. Here and now." said Sasuke, as he gets on his fighting stance. "I'll be enjoying this."
"Hah hah! At last! I shall defeat Uchiha Sasuke once again! AGAIN!!" Lee then charges up to Sasuke, sending multiple of fists along the way.
Sasuke, with his Sharingan activated, manages to dodge the fists Lee is giving to him. In result, he sends his own fist at Lee. But Lee manages to dodge it sideways. The fisting goes on and on. And while they do that, Lee walks back to a tree, while Sasuke advances to him. As they reached the tree, they fight off like never before, sending fists and kicks, dodge and blocks. But what Lee doesn't know, as a drunk, is that above him, on a branch of a tree, there's Kira and Ino, holding up a man-size cage. they are aiming the cage at Lee, so they can trap him.
"Are you sure that idea is good?" asked Kira.
"It's Sasuke's plan. What else? He's the smart one. So this one can't fail! Sasuke planned this to stop Lee and save some time to catch Naruto! We need Sasuke to get away from Lee so we can drop this thing and trap him!" said Ino.
"I don't know... This seems kinda familiar. All of those plans... They're all in a cartoon show named "The Road Runner", where all of the Coyote's plans failed everytime because they all didn't work out as plan."
"Just shut up and concentrate on one thing, will ya?"
"Fine." The two of them both come back to concentrate on trapping Lee.
Back to Sasuke and Lee, they just keep on punching and dodging and kicking. While they do that, Sasuke end up punching the tree, as Lee dodged it. The balance of the tree almost made the two ninjas on the branch to fall off.
"Whoa...! Ok... That's not how it is planned!" said Kira.
"Oh no... We forgot that if either of them hit the tree, we'll fall off!" said Ino.
"Not much of a genius that Uchiha is, huh?"
"Oh shut up."
Back to the fighters, they are still doing it. But this time, Sasuke punched and kicked at the tree that was supposed to meant for Lee, making both Kira and Ino to hang on and not trying to fall off. 'Damn it... Come on... I need to get Lee to the spot for Ino and Kira to set the cage on him... Just a little more...' Sasuke attempts to punch Lee on the chest for him to walk back to where the two catchers are above him.But unfortunately for him, Lee grabbed his arm before he could punch him, and throws him to the tree. Sasuke slams hard on it. Because of the terrible vibration, Kira and Ino both slipped and fell on the ground, as the cage falls on Sasuke, trapping him. "Kira! Ino!"
"D'oh...! I just knew it'll end up like in the Road Runner Show!" said Kira.
"How would you know?!" said Ino.
"Because our plans are like the Coyote's."
Just then, Lee runs behind Kira and kicks him on the crotch again, causing Kira to groan in pain. "Hah! You cannot stop me!" He runs again.
"Agh...! Damn him...! Three times...! Three, freaking times...!" groaned Kira.
"Actually, it was four times." reminded Ino.
"Shut... up...!"
Another while ago, the team all huddled up again. And this time, Kira got a pained and annoyed expression on his face. "G... Gr... Grr...!"
"Kira, you alright?" asked Sakura.
"Do I... look... alright... to you...?!"
"Um... No."
"Ok, you guys. We need to come up with a new plan. We wasted too much time for searching for Naruto and we can't afford to lose anymore time. Any ideas?" asked Kakashi, who is, of course, the only one who doesn't involve in any plans.
"Maybe we should put you in PAIN, Kakashi-sensei!" growled Kira.
"Uh... Now, now! Don't get too angry. We need to form a new plan. Any ideas?"
"Hm..." Ino begins to think of something to trap Lee and knock him out cold in no time. She needs to thought up of something that doesn't wast anytime on searching for Naruto. A plan that will get Lee to knock out cold in a sec. Then, she claps her hands. "I got it!"
"What's the plan, Ino?" asked Sakura.
Ino's hand goes up to where her hair is tied up and pulls the band from her hair, revealing her long, smooth, platinum blond hair. Only Kira is affected by the swing of her hair, admiring it. The others notice his sudden admiration and looked at him strangely. "... What?"
Forgetting Kira's sudden admiration, she took a few of her hair and pulls them long enough. She then took out a pair of scissors and cuts the hair she holded on. "There. This will be the main idea of the plan."
"Ino, this isn't time for making your hair perfect!"
"Shut up, Kira! With this amount of hair I got, I can trap Lee in place."
"What are you talking about?"
Then, Kakashi knows what Ino was talking about. "I get it! You'll use your hair to trap Lee in place, just like in the Chuunin Exam."
Now, Sakura got what Ino is saying. "Hey, that's right! Ino can aranged her hair into a long, unbreakable string connecting to her and traps Lee with it! That's a great idea, Ino!"
"That's not all, Sakura." said Ino. "You guys go and surround him. And once Lee is in my hair's grasp, everyone will grab on to a part of his body and try to knock him out cold."
"Great! Now there's a good plan that I want to hear in a long time!" said Kira.
"Ok! Everyone, get around Lee!" ordered Ino. They all nodded and got around Lee, waiting for an opening moment to grab a hold of him. As they do that, Ino shout out to him. "Hey, Lee!"
Hearing it, Lee drunkly turns to Ino. "What do ya want?!"
"See this?" She holds out her hair in her hand. "How do you like this?" She throws her hair towards Lee, letting them fall down between them.
"What's the hell is this?! Attacking me with hair?! PATHETIC!!"
She grinned. "I'm not done yet." She forms a handseal. And all of her hair that are on the floor began to form into a long string, attaching to Ino. And the string is able to trap Lee's foot in place. "Got you!"
"HUH?! What the hell is this?!" yelled out Lee, as he tries to move his trapped foot.
"Now, everyone!" signaled Ino. Everyone, except for Kira, all jumped out and grabbed Lee on one part each. Sakura grabbed Lee's right leg, Hinata is holding Lee's right arm, Sasuke holding Lee's right leg and Kakashi is holding Lee's left arm.
Lee struggled to break free from the team's grip. "AUGH!! Let go of me, you bunch of wimps! You cannot defeat the GREAT Rock Lee!!" yelled Lee as he tries to break free. Just then, Kira jumps and lands right in front of Lee. He stares at him now. Lee can only look at Kira's stare. "... Hiya!" he said with a grin. Kira's answer? A kick on the crotch! "Aug...!" Kira then punches Lee on the face, knocking him out cold. Lee stopped struggling, as he is now unconscious.
"... Do you have to do that, Kira-san?" asked Sakura.
"He kicked me on the crotch three times!" shouted Kira.
"Four times." reminded Hinata.
"WHATEVER!"
As the genins let go Lee, Kakashi pick up Lee from the ground and onto his shoulder. "Ok... It was a long and wasted fight, but we did it. We finally got Lee to calm down."
"You mean knocked out." reminded Sasuke.
"Yes, that too. Anyway, let us continue to go and look for Naruto. We wasted enough time here."
"But it's almost sunset, Kakashi-sensei! Do we have to continue searching for Naruto! My feet are getting tired now!" whined Ino.
"Good point... Alright. We'll continue to go on a little bit and we'll set up camp later. Is this better?"
"Of course, Kakashi-sensei." said Sakura.
"Then let us go." Kakashi then continues to go down to the path, as with the other genins.
Well, it looks like the battle is over... But can they still reach out Naruto? And who is the mysterious man who is trying to catch him and extract the demon out of him? Little the team know that their quest to search their dear friend is becoming a dangerous one indeed.
End of chapter
Well, I'm done with this chapter. And for now on, I will update every stories that I put on hold. I promise you guys that, ok?
Well... Tomorrow, it's back to school for me. So... I better be ready for the opening day. Wish me luck, you guys.
Ja Ne! And review, Kudasai!