Entry26: AZULA! She Tricked me!... well nothing new there. But I never thought it would come to this. She offered me a way out of it, she said that I could help her catch the avatar, restore my honor…. I betrayed uncle… I don't know what I was thinking…

When she captured me, I was locked in a cave with the Water tribe girl Katara. She was hurt really badly by the fire nation. I don't know why, but I talked to her, about my mother. I felt so insecure around her, like I didn't want her judging me. Seeing me only as her enemy… and for a moment, she didn't, she told me that she might have a way to heal my scar… but.. Why would she do that for me? It was after that, that the avatar broke through. I felt so angry at him, saying he came to rescue me, I felt at peace there, in that moment. And he ruined it!

It was after they left. Azula came and she gave me my offer… I can't help thinking I made the wrong choice… though when asked, I told Azula that there was no way the avatar could have survived her blast… I just hope that that spirit water Katara has… wait. Why am I hoping the avatar is alive?

Horror passed over Katara as she realized what had happened. Azula and Zuko had never been in cohorts with each other, and had she not came running into the Earth king saying he was there, Azula might never have found him…

She read on and her guilt compounded even more, Zuko had felt at peace when he was with her, but when Aang came for her… She should have made him go; she should have forced him to go with them…

"Zuko… this is…"

"I cant say for sure why I went against my uncle, or you, in that moment, when Azula told me I could have it all back, I guess I was blind, the thoughts of finally completing the mission that was set out for me, I could think of nothing else. I just wanted to go home"

"Home…"

Zuko looked at her for a moment and then away. Katara was finding it hard to look at him also, all the anger she had been feeling towards him, seemed to be ebbing away with each word she read.

"I guess, I mean, it's easy for me to forget that you were separated from your home. And those you cared about…"

"I wasn't separated; I just didn't realize that I had the people I cared about with me all along…"

Katara unfurled the scroll and read some more

Entry 27: I am back home again, Father has forgiven me, I even have a girlfriend, ("you had a girlfriend?" …………."just shut up and read")but I still feel like something is missing. Azula told Father that I killed the Avatar, but I think she knows he is still alive, or could be, she is just using me, as always, why else would she have said it!

"You really knew Aang was alive?"

"Not for sure no, but the thought that he could be was there, and I thought that was what was making me so unsettled"

She placed the scroll down for a moment and looked at him.

"Zuko, if you really have changed, then there is no point in beating yourself up over the past. We have forgiven you… but you have to forgive yourself as well"

"I know…"

Entry28: I can't sleep right, I am going to go visit uncle, perhaps if I talk to him, I can convince him to change his mind, perhaps he could be released. Azula knows about it, but I don't care. I will convince uncle! Oh… and I hired an assassin to kill the avatar… just in case….

"Okay… I take it back… your not forgiven"

Zuko smiled and poked her in the forehead, it felt weird to Katara, first, she really should have been mad at him, but she wasn't. Second, she really should have stormed out of the room after he poked her. But she didn't. And third, she really needed to stop looking at his upper half, it was becoming a distraction.

"I guess I really never learned, even after everything I had gone through, though… what did you call him? Combustion guy? I didn't really think he would find you guys, after all, it took a full army to stop the avatar, in my defense, I did not think one man could really kill him…"

Katara looked unconvinced

"Okay… Sorry, I promise I won't hire anymore more assassins to kill Aang"

"Good"

Entry29: we got sent away to some dumb beach I used to go to when I was a child! This is stupid! What's worse is we have to stay with the two old crooners that think they are wiser then thou! And no matter how much I try to make Mai happy! I she just dismisses it, it's really frustrating, And what's worse! Other boys are interested in her! And she is not telling them to back off! It's like she doesn't even care! Like she has no concept of emotions, or what other people are feeling…. On a side not I did get to trash some haughty boy's house and get him into trouble… oh and mom hated Azula… that makes me feel a bit better about my life…

"Wait, Mai was your girlfriend?"

"Yes…"

"As in, the needle throwing friend of your sister Mai?"

"Yes…."

"As in the chose to capture the avatar over her own brother Mai"

"She what?"

Zuko sat to attention when Katara said that and Katara smiled… or more smirked

"Oh yeah, Your little girlfriend wasn't willing to trade the earth king Boomi for her little brother, and instead decided to try and capture Aang with help from your sister and that bendy flexi girl Ty lee"

"I didn't know that…"

"You can do way better then the likes of her. You shouldn't just settle Zuko"

"That's easy for you to say, you don't have a welt on your face"

Katara frowned once again and turned to face him, he was looking away from her, when she tried to turn his face to look at her clearly, he pulled away. Katara tried again, but with more determination this time

"Now you listen to me Zuko! You have a scar, its not the end of the world, it does not make you ugly, and it does not make girls dislike you, I mean, That girl, Sun was it? She liked you, she even kissed you right?"

Though he was facing her, his eyes were not making contact, and to her speech all he could muster was a slight grunt and a nod

"And in the cave, it wasn't the Scar I was looking at when we were talking. It was you as a whole."

Zuko brought his eyes up to meet with hers and blinked slowly. It felt like the world was playing in slow motion as the words filtered into his mind…

"Urm… perhaps we should keep reading…"

The closeness was undeniable and just as Zuko became aware of it; Katara had already turned to begin reading again

Entry30: okay… so now I am really confused… I got a message today, telling me I had to learn about my great grandfather's death… I learned some things about my family history… things I am not sure I ever wanted to learn… but… I don't know what this means, my hunt for the avatar… did father know? He must have known, he… was my mission nothing more then a sick joke to him?

"What did you learn about your Great Grandfather?"

Zuko who had been just looking at her dragged his mind from the cottony feeling that had passed over it in the last few moments to try and form an answer

"My Great Grandfather?"

"Yes, it says here you learned something, and it was to do with the avatar."

"Well yes… that… I, I don't think now is really the time for me to be mentioning that… I don't think I am ready to talk about it…"

Katara just nodded at that

"Okay Zuko, I won't force you to do anything you don't want to…"

Katara continued reading

Entry31: I went to a war meeting today… I got so worked up because I thought I was not invited to it, but in the end, everyone was waiting for me, I was so happy, it was everything I had ever wanted… but in the end… I just felt hollow, like I was acting someone else's life, Uncle was right… I really am playing out a destiny someone else chose for me… its time I did start asking myself the big questions.

Katara said nothing at this point and just read on.

Entry32: I have decided, I am leaving to find the avatar, but this time, I will train him in firebending, I will help him to defeat my father and restore balance to the universe! I confronted my father, and I beat him in a challenge, I went then to set my uncle free, but he was already gone… I hope he is safe, Also, just before father challenged me, he said something, something I can't believe. He told me that my mother, she might be alive somewhere!

"Zuko! That's Great!"

"What? You know you need to elaborate; I can't read your mind"

"Your mother Zuko! She's alive!"

"I don't know that for sure, I think he might have just said that to me, to delay me leaving, I can't trust his words alone… but when all this is over, I will look for her and find out the truth myself"

Katara smiled and then looked back to the page.

Entry33: I arrived at the western air temple today, I guess I never really looked at it the last time I came here, but it really is stunning, Right now I am writing out my thoughts, because the animal I was talking to isn't giving me much advice, not that I really expected it to… but… when I finish this.. I will go down and talk to them.

Okay I guess I should have seen that coming, but soaking me in water was a bit much.

Burned the small girl… I really do being good badly.

The Assassin came back, but he wouldn't listen to me, I tried to stop him, but he attacked me to. Then… I don't know what happened, the building kind of fell off the cliff, but the av... I mean Aang accepted me into his group; well they all did, sort of… I think Katara hates me… I guess I can't really blame her… Sokka seemed nice enough, though I could tell he was a bit… iffy about the situation… Toph… I am a bit worried about how she might get back at me… and as for Aang… I don't know what to do about Aang he was once my only hope for honor, and well, I guess he is my only hope for redemption now… I don't know if we can be friends like he once said, but I do hope we can get along…

Katara was looking guilty again.

"I guess I did just snap at you…"

"Just a bit"

"Did you really talk to an animal?"

"Yes, it was a bagertoad"

"Did it help?"

"No… okay it did, but I still messed up when I went to talk to you, and then I hurt Toff"

"Yeah she still has to get you back for that one… And what's this about you not killing combustion guy?"

"What? Did you think I made that explosion?"

"Erm… yes"

Zuko grinned

"Alright, I killed combustion guy!"

"No you didn't! You lair! Lets see... yes, I think your right to be worried about Toph, I cant say much about your thoughts on Aang Sokka… well I think he might be a bit weirded out, though give him a week and he might start hounding you for details on secret tunnels into the fire palace"

"And you?"

The words came out of his mouth before he could stop them, and Katara smiled softly before looking at the words he wrote down

"I don't hate you Zuko, I just felt… betrayed… I put a lot of trust in you back in that cave. I don't know why, but I did…"

"I know… I really am sorry for what I did back then…"

"I think I believe you now Zuko…"

She unfurled the last part of the scroll and let her eyes scan over it

Entry34: Okay… I was meant to start training Aang today… but, I don't know what's going on! I can't fire bend, it's like… poof, nothing, I think it has to do with me switching sides… I am going to tell them, maybe then I can go find uncle, he could teach Aang firebending instead!

Okay… Sokka is really annoying, I know it was only to try and help, but the poking… not appreciated.

Anng and I have decided to take a trip to the ruins of the Sun warriors, I don't know if it will help, but I will do whatever it takes…

Okay so we went to the ruins, we… Learned how to fire bend. I don't think I should write how, because if anyone were to read this, I would have broken a promise to someone, and… well… I also learned a new form. Anng wants to show it to the group...

Sokka is really annoying….

"You were going to go find your Uncle?"

"I had a thought to…"

"But then? What would you have done?"

Zuko Frowned and actually thought about the question

"I possibly would have brooded, become grumpier then usual and then exploded in on my own uselessness"

Katara's eyebrows raised and then she laughed

"I always thought you had a high opinion of yourself Zuko"

"Not recently, if you look back on it, everything I have ever done in my life was a failure, every decision I made was wrong"

"Well your Right about my brother"

Zuko Smiled and stood, taking the scroll from her. Re-furling it and tying the band about it.

"So that makes one thing in how many mistakes"

"You're training Aang well"

"No the dragons did that, now all I am doing is showing him new forms."

"Well that's all any of us are doing now."

Katara stood up and put a hand to his shoulder

"Also, you let me read your Dairy"

"Journal"

"Yes… Dairy, and I no longer think you're a spy for Azula"

Zuko turned, he stood facing the Water tribe girl, this girl he had fought with, spent a moment of peace with, and now shared his private thoughts with, doing the only thing he could think to do, Zuko reached out for her, pulling her abruptly towards him, his arms locking around her back and his head buried to her shoulders.

Katara was caught off guard. And so she stood a bit stiff in his arms at first, not really knowing what was going on, slowly she raised her arms, letting her hands ease over his back.

He had hugged her, and she hugged him in return, and no matter how wrong it was, for Fire and water to be this close. There and then. It worked.

End.

(For now)

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I would like to thank Dragon Jadefire that helped me with the spellign of names, I was playing by ear so it is great to have the right spelling for them -

Thanks for reading! and for your reveiws!