AN: translated from a swedish fic.
She sits on her knees in the dewy grass. She's been sitting there all night. She's all alone with her tears and her pain. No one understands her. He meant more to her than anyone knew. And now he's gone. Taken away from her by a twist of faith. He always said that he would accomplish something great. That he would die while saving the world. That was the way he should die. Not in a stupid car accident. That's just wrong. She strokes the tombstone and wishes that it was him she could feel against her fingers.
Here lays Peter Petrelli. He was a hero.
She lets her finger run through the text fore the hundredth time. There he lays, six feet under her and has probably no idea that she's sitting here, crying over him. If he'd known he would try to comfort her, like he always did. Did. It feels so empty inside of her when she thinks of him in past tense, in the past. Cause that's what he is, past. They will never share a future. Never experience what they used to talk about during the nights in his room. He used to hols her and she knew that she was safe. Every time she fought with Nathan she came to Peter. He was damper when it got tough for her. She could always come to his room. He was never to busy for her. He would always listen to her problems. He could always make her laugh when she just wanted to lay down and die. He was her best friend, and greatest love. But that was something they never talked about. Not in public anyway. They loved each other more than anything. They had a beautiful relationship. Platonic. They never went further than kisses and strokes. They never dared even though both of them wanted to. He used to hold her arm around her and tell her that everything was different. She used to laugh at him when he said so. But she knew how much he needed to believe in those words. She needed to too.
- Claire?
She flinches but doesn't turn around. She sits like she did before, with her hand on the grave.
- Have you been sitting here all night?
She slowly nods. She sobs. She thought that her tears were all gone, but apparently she was wrong. A warm hand appears on her shoulder and squeezes it. She can feel the smell of whiskey on his breath. He's been mourning in his own way. He sits down next to her and puts his arm around her. She wants to pull away from him, but she doesn't have the strength. Her sorrow makes her enervated. She lets him embrace her. He leans his head against hers and lets her cry against his shoulder. She buries her face in his jacket and lets her tears flow. He hugs her harder.
- I miss him too.
Then she pulls away from him. She looks at him. His eyes are red from lack of sleep, and she think tears too. He's starting to get a beard. His breath stinks of alcohol. And his eyes are full of sorrow. He tries to smile comforting at her, but it just looks sad.
- He was my brother. I know you had a special relation with him Claire, but he's gone now.
He stretches out a hand to whip away her tears. She pushes it away and gets up. The world starts to spin around her and her vision blackens. But she won't let that take over her.
- You have no idea what I feel! she yells at him. You don't know what we had! You don't know anything!
She tries to walk away but the dizziness takes over and she falls to the ground. She has no strength to get up. She doesn't care. She just wants to lay there and die with Peter. She can feel Nathan's arms around her body. She feels how he picks her up and caries her away. She reaches for the grave but it disappears from her sight. She wants to scream at him to put her down again. That he shall leave her alone. That he'll just let her die. Like if he heard her he says:
- You're coming home with me now. You're frozen. You haven't eaten or been drinking. I've already lost my brother, I don't want to loose my daughter too.
He caries her to the car and puts her in the back seat. He takes of his jacket and places it on her. Her whole body shakes, both from cold and sorrow. He sits down at the other side of the seat and puts her head in his lap. The driver takes them home to the mansion. None of them says a word. Claire just stares at the back of the front seat while Nathan strokes her hair.
When they arrive Nathan helps her out of the car. Her dizziness won't let go so he puts his arm around her and lets her lean on him. When they come inside they are meeting a worried Heidi. She tries to speak to Claire but Nathan tells her not to. He helps Claire up the stairs and takes her to her room. He lays her down on her bed and helps her to take off her shoes and damp clothes. Then he puts her underneath to cover. He sits down next to her and tries to meet her eyes, but she just stares empty in front of her.
- Rest for a while. I'll come up later whit something to eat.
She doesn't answer but keeps on staring in front of her. He sighs.
- I know that it's hard for you right now, but you have to believe me when I say that it gets better. In a while you won't feel this much. And you will always have all your memories of him. You just have to keep on fighting. Can you do that? For me?
He thinks that he sees a light nod from her, but he's not sure. He leans against her and kisses her forehead before leaving the room. When he's gone Claire starts to cry again. She can feel the scent of Peter on her pillow. He laid there just a few hours before… she doesn't want to think that thought till its end. All that she wants is just to feel his body against her own again. That he will come back and that everything will be like it was before.
- Why are you crying Claire?
She twitches and looks at the direction of the voice. There she sees him. He stands there with his usual smile and looks at her. She can't believe it.
- Peter?
She whispers it with both delight and mistrust.
- I thought you where dead.
He walks up to her and sits on her bed. She can see him sitting on it, but it doesn't feel. The bed isn't moving from his weight. He smiles at her lugubriously.
- I am.
- But…
She can't understand what's happening. He strokes her cheek, like he always did when he wanted her to feel safe. She can sense it like a warm breeze.
- I'm just here to give you strength. You have to move on.
- I don't want to move on. I can't live without you.
She tries to grab his hand but she just slides through.
- You have to. You have to live. You have so much left to live for, so many people who need you.
- But I needed you and you died.
- Sometimes things don't always go as planed. But you have to live on. If not for yourself, but for Nathan. He wouldn't make it if you disappeared. He may not be god at showing it, but he loves you. He loves you more than you know. And if you died he would break.
- But how about you?
He whips away the tears that runs over he cheeks.
- I'll be waiting for you. But now it's up to you to be strong. Can you promise me that?
She looks at him for a while before she nods. He smiles at her and leans towards her to kiss her. She closes her eyes and can feel his lips against her own. They disappear and she opens her eyes again. She's all alone in her room. No Peter, just her alone. She sighs and feels it like her heart is going to explode. Then she sees it. On the nightstand next to her bed lays the necklace he always wore. The necklace that he was buried with. She takes it in her hand and says to the room:
- I promise to be strong and keep on fighting.
When she said that she can hear the familiar laugh that fades away and a gentle breeze that sweeps over he cheek. And she knows that he will always be in the place where he belongs, in her heart.