This was written mostly by Bridget(Seattlexlove) and me(mollytigerc/Michelle). However, we did get a little help from Laura on the lexicon and some help from Sam (Zakuro).

Are you cold? Cause I could make you sweat.

I'm hot for you.

I'm hard as granite, would you like to feel?

You know what they say about men with big hands and feet...

I'm too big for you, if you know what I mean.

I'm so cold, would you like to help warm me up?

You smell so good I could just eat you up.

I think I imprinted because all I can think about is you.

You're just how I like my coffee, talk, dark, strong, and HOT!!!!

I can make you howl

Hey baby... you know, pianists do it with ten fingers

Vampires do it with their teeth.

You make me glitter.

I think you've made me hot, because I am burning up

I think I'm turning into a vampire. All I feel are the flames of your love

I felt like a zombie while you were gone.

I'm a zombie without you.

Jake: The reason I changed, Bella, was because I was so aroused by you that I started to masturbate and suddenly, in my ecstasy, I changed

Carlisle : I'm not really a veggie vampire. I steal blood from the "dead" patients at the hospital and wear contacts that are gold.

Jasper: Bella, at your birthday party, I wasn't after your blood, I was after your body.

Rosalie: I'm not as shallow as I look...wait a minute, yes I am.

Carlisle: We're not actually vampires, we're actually just fans of the Hannibal movies. We're a cannibalistic cult of friends that, well, eats people. Would you like to join?

Jasper: Feeling frisky?

Jasper: Edward, I understand your feelings of frustration, but when I want to sleep with Alice , could you LEAVE already?

Alice : Bella, I think if we just put you in this lingerie then Edward would go for it.

Esme: I only fix up the houses to pass the time between the time Carlisle leaves and Carlisle gets home.

Jake: Wanna ride my bike? It vibrates at any speed.. It'd be an adventure you'll never forget.

Aro: Edward, I think I could make you happier than her.

Marcus: I don't like you two together because I want you both for myself.

Edward: Pick ME Jacob!

Alice : It was nice to finally see Bella…in my pants.

Carlisle: Would you like to be part of Esme and my threesome Bella? Of course, Edward would be invited.

Bella: Edward, I've decided to take up Tap dancing. falls

Bella: When I fall, will you catch me?

Bella: DAMNIT EDWARD, just take your clothes off already!

Bella: Edward I thought it was time we move past this. ( Bella moves her hands over his penis) I really think more needs to happen in our relationship. (Bella moves her head right next to Edward's while whispering seductively)

Edward: Screw this, let's screw!

Jacob: Wanna do this doggy style?

Bella: Emily, you are such a stereotypical house wife, what's up?

Jake: Mine's bigger than yours.

The only reason the Cullens and the werewolves got together was because they all knew they wanted some from the other.

And when Jake came to the prom all he could think about was how good Edward looked in his suit.

Carlisle: I have an announcement to make. I've become the new spokes model for Degree Deodorant!

Carlisle: I'm not just a doctor because I want to help people with my vampire skillz. I am a doctor because of all the slutty nurses.

Edward: You Suck!

Emmett: …and you love it!

Edward: I haven't been open with you Bella. There's a reason why I like laying next to you while you sleep. You like to rub up against me, and I must admit, yesterday night I got a bit carried away...

Edward: whispers in girl's ear Ya'know...I bite chomps vampire teeth

Rosalie: I must admit it Bella, you really are prettier than me.

Jessica: Edward, I think Bella is the best thing that has happened to you.